Hayden, page 6
“Perfect.”
“You are in time for lunch, so I will get you the menu and you can pick what you want. Today will be an adjustment day, so no PT, but tomorrow we will hit it hard. I will work on your treatment plan and goals tonight, and when I come back in the morning, we will go over them and see where you have concerns.”
“Okay. And Oscar?” I asked once more. I needed to hear him say Tracy would bring him with her in the morning.
“I will make you a deal. You do your PT in the morning and I will let him come right after.”
“She did her best walking when he was by her side,” Tracy jumped in. I wanted to jump up and hug her for that.
“I think I remember seeing that in her file. Okay. New deal. She brings him and you work hard enough to prove to me that he will help you get better faster.”
“I will. I promise.”
“Good. I will get the menu and get out of your hair for a while.” Jake ducked out the door but was back in less than a minute with a piece of paper in his hand. “Circle what you want, and they will be by in a few to collect it.”
I watched him go and knew he wouldn’t be back the rest of the day. A sadness I didn’t understand took over and I wanted him to come back.
“When Adam or Jack get here, I will go to the house and pick up a few things for you,” Tracy said.
“Are they coming?”
“Yep. Adam is filling in for me at the shelter but said he would be here as soon as he locked up.”
“I am taking all of you away from your lives.”
“No. We are here with you because we want to be here. You have been so strong through all of this. I need you to stay that way. You are not one to back down, feel sorry for yourself, or quit. That isn’t who you are. That much I know for sure.”
“At least you know that much about me,” I said and gave a weak laugh.
“I do. I also know you are sweet, and you give all that you can to the ones who need it the most. That’s part of why we are doing the same for you.”
“I don’t even know how to thank you.”
“Get better.”
“I will.”
“I know.”
She sat back on the couch and watched me for a minute. It wasn’t uncomfortable and even though I couldn’t remember her or how we were together, I felt a peace come from her I hadn’t felt before.
I also noticed the bags under her eyes and the way her clothes seemed baggy on her. I thought back and didn’t remember her not being there with me the whole time I was in the hospital. She was wearing herself out to make sure I was alright.
“Why are you crying?” she asked.
“I’m thankful for you, Adam, and Jack.”
“We feel the same about you, hon.”
“I know. I see it. You look exhausted. You can go home if you want. I am pretty tired too and think I will take a nap.”
“I will go when they get here, and you still need to eat something before you go to sleep.”
“What about you? When did you eat today?” I fired back.
“Got me. I will eat tonight. Josh is making spaghetti.”
“Josh?” It was a name I hadn’t heard yet.
“Yes. My boyfriend.”
“Did I know about him?”
“We just started dating when you got hurt. You haven’t met him yet, but when you are ready, I would like you to. I really like this one, Hayden.”
“Then I definitely need to meet him.”
It was nice to talk about real life stuff and not hospital or rehab stuff. Tracy oozed love and I couldn’t wait to meet him. I needed to know he was good enough for the amazing woman sitting across from me.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
I had been in rehab for a week and things had already improved. Jake was there with me every day and Oscar was allowed to come and stay for hours. The exercises he had me doing a few times a day wore me out, but I felt myself getting stronger too.
It was the day I would see if my bandages could come off and for as excited as I was, I was also terrified of what was under them.
“Hayden?” a man asked walking into my room. Oscar was there and though he didn’t back up, he kept watch over what the stranger was doing. “My name is Dr. Richardson and I am going to take a look at you today.”
“Want me to go?” Adam asked.
“No,” I said almost too harshly. “Please stay.”
“No problem. I will sit over here,” Adam said and took a seat on the couch across the room.
“I want to start with the one on your head and see how that is going. I heard you have complained about the itching?”
“Yes,” I said, and my hand reached for my scalp as if that was the cue for it.
“I will see if we can wash it yet, but either way, I have a cream we should be able to use to help with that.”
“Thanks.”
Leaning over the sink, he washed his hands before putting on the generic blue gloves.
“Alright,” he said and started to push my bangs out of his way. “If anything hurts, you have to let me know.”
“I will.”
“Here we go.”
He began to carefully remove the wrap from my head and with every layer, the cold air from the room made it tingle.
“Not bad,” he said when the last layer was removed. “I hoped to see it a little better by now, but it isn’t as bad as it could have been. I think if we are careful, we can get that washed up for you today before we rebandage it.”
“Good,” I said and let out a small sigh. I wasn’t sure when the last time was I had a shower, but I needed one desperately.
“I will get a nurse in here to help you with that after we see your back.”
That hurt so bad when he started to remove the wrap. It pulled on skin that was tender and raw. I held my breath and tried to be brave, but the tears eventually won over.
“Hey now,” Adam said racing to my side. “You’ve got this. Look at me or Oscar.”
Hearing his name, he got up and moved a little closer to me. I put my right hand on him, and he kissed it. I focused on him and it worked until Adam made a noise that pulled me back to what they were doing to me.
“I know it looks bad, but it has gotten better. I saw pictures of what she looked like when they brought her in. This is much better,”
“Will it ever look normal again?” Adam asked Dr. Richardson.
“No. She will have massive scarring from all of this, but it will heal and be less noticeable. The thing I want to watch for is any nerve damage from it. That pain is one that can be harder to control.”
“Yeah…” Adam’s voice trailed off and I wanted to see what he was so in shock over.
“Can I see it?” I asked.
“You want to look?” Adam questioned.
“Yes. If it’s as bad as you say it is, I want to see it.”
“I don’t know if it is such a good idea, Hayden. Seeing it may make your mind stall the healing.”
“I want to see,” I demanded a little harsher.
“Better get her a mirror. She is stubborn and has made up her mind.”
“Thank you, Adam.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I will be right back,” the doctor said and stood to leave the room before I made any more demands on him.
“It really doesn’t look good. Are you sure you want to see it?” Adam asked as soon as Dr. Richardson was out of earshot.
“Yes. If this is how I will be forever now, I want to know what I look like. I have only seen my head or face so far.”
“That isn’t so bad. I mean, it is. But your hair will cover most of it.”
“If it grows back in.”
“Hey, if not, you wouldn’t be the only one with a combover ever.”
“True,” I said and laughed a little thinking about how I would grow it out to cover. I pictured one side being extra-long to drape over the left and the other half hanging loosely on my right shoulder. “I could start a new trend.”
“You could. We could call it the Hay.”
“Nice to see you laughing,” a petite brunette said walking into the room. I didn’t remember seeing her before then.
“She has a great laugh,” Adam said. I blushed at the compliment.
“So, we are going to get you up a little so you can take a look at what is going on back there,” she said and pointed to my back-left side. “After, we will get your hair washed and let you sponge bathe a little. I don’t want you touching your left side though. It is raw and that would be excruciating.”
“How can I help?” Adam asked.
“You can help me get her to the bathroom, then I will ask you to step out for a bit.”
“Sure thing.”
He waited until I had wrapped the sheet around me before he moved to my right side and carefully helped me get off the bed.
“Is the doctor coming back in?” Adam asked when we were almost to the door.
“Yes, after we clean her up a little.”
Her name tag read Angie and she seemed sweet. She wasn’t harsh like some of them, but she got you to do what she wanted.
“Thank you. If you help me get her on that seat in the shower, I can take her from there. It will be about thirty minutes. Maybe take that cutie for a walk?” she suggested.
“Good idea. He could use it and the walks are making him stronger too,” Adam said.
“Was he hurt too?” she asked.
My ears perked up because I wanted to hear his answer too. I didn’t know much about him other than he made me feel better.
“No, he was a rescue from an abuse case. His leg was pretty messed up. Hayden worked with him a lot to get him feeling better.”
“Oh, poor baby. Sounds like he is lucky to have you,” she said and smiled at me.
“He is. He adores her,” Adam said. “Okay, well, I will be back in a bit.”
“Sounds good.” She turned to me the second he shut the door. “I will show you whatever you want to see, but I need you to remember you are still healing. After what you went through, this will not be pretty again anytime soon.”
“I know.”
“Okay then. I have two mirrors here. I will hold this one up behind you and you can move the smaller one around to wherever you need it.”
I wrapped my fingers around the thick handle of the smaller mirror and waited until she was ready to lift it. As soon as she had the bigger mirror lined up, I reached up with the handheld and what I saw made me retch.
“I told you it wasn’t pretty hon, but you are here and that is what is important.”
The scabs were nothing, it was the chunks of missing flesh exposing meat under it that got to me. The bumps on the skin, the tangled web of pieced together flesh, and the red that flowed between it all, that was what got to me. I wasn’t pretty before, but that would make it impossible to be with a man.
Slowly I moved the mirror up so I could see my face in it. The front left side was shaved, and staples lined from my ear to my eyebrow. It wasn’t as bad, like Adam said; my hair should cover most of it.
“Okay,” I said and handed the mirror back to Angie. I was done looking at the monster I had become.
“It heals. It all heals.”
She gave my hand a light pat before taking the mirror from me and moving to the faucet to start my first “bath” in weeks.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“Hayden,” Jake said walking into my room. He had a new piece of equipment with him. Not a chair, but a walker. “How was your weekend? Did you get settled in alright?”
“It was alright. I wasn’t alone very much.”
“Good. Anything to lift the spirits will help you heal.”
“Yeah.”
“Were is everyone now?” he asked and looked around at the empty room.
“Jack had to work, and they are getting ready for another big event at the shelter. Adam and Tracy said they would stop by later and bring Oscar.”
“Good. I like that dog. I thought about getting one for a while now, but with my work schedule, it can be hard.”
“Why couldn’t you bring it to work with you? Look at how much Oscar helps me.”
“That would be great if I could, but I don’t think they would allow it. I don’t know. I am almost done with my last round of schooling. Maybe after that, I would have more time.”
“Wait, what? You are still in school?”
“Relax. I have my degree for this. I am going in for chiropractic and massage. Both would help with healing.”
“So you would have three degrees?”
“Four. I have one in English too.”
“Wow.”
“Did you go to school for anything?”
“I don’t think so,” I said. I tried so hard to remember if I had.
“Not everyone does. So many things don’t need a degree and they are just as important.”
“Yeah.”
“I heard you were amazing with the animals at the shelter that were afraid. That can’t be taught in a classroom. That is you being amazing and having a gift.”
“I don’t remember how I used to be or what my ‘gifts’ were. I try, hard, but nothing comes. I have been asked if I have family. I can’t answer because I don’t know. I assume I do, or I wouldn’t be here, but I have no clue where, how many, or if they are still alive.”
“That has to be so hard. I’m sure it will come back to you in time. You were hit hard, and they were worried you wouldn’t wake up at all. You did, so the rest seems like small stuff to me.”
“Yeah.”
It didn’t to me though. I didn’t know who I was. I couldn’t have even told him what my favorite food was, what I liked to drink, or anything. I had no memories of growing up or my family. It was frustrating when I wanted to know but didn’t.
“I want to try something with you today. I think you are ready for it, and I want to assess you for your recovery plan. I will work with you five days a week and Tom will be here Saturdays. Sunday will be your free day.”
“Wow. Okay.”
“I know it sounds like a lot, but you will only be doing work for about an hour a day. We have to build your muscles up and get your brain running on the basics again.”
“Will that help me remember stuff?”
“Hopefully. The brain is strange. It is hard to say what will trigger things or when. But I will be here for you if you need me.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now, let’s see what we can get you to do today.”
He helped me get my shoes on and then we hit the halls with my new walker. I felt like an old lady when he had to help me. I made it four rooms down before the exhaustion kicked in.
“Please, can we go back?” I begged.
“Can you make it to one more room’s door?”
“I don’t know.”
“I’m right here and I won’t let you fall.”
I knew he wouldn’t, but the pain that ran down my left side with every step made even breathing hard.
“Think we can try?” I looked him in the face and my heart jumped but not from the pain. I wanted to make him proud of me so, even though I wanted to go back, I nodded, and we pushed ahead.
“I will try.”
I made it to the other door, and he did what he promised. We turned around and headed back to my room. I was out of breath and wanted to scream by the time I got there and sat on the bed.
“That was an excellent first run. If we do that every day, I bet you will make it to the end of the hall in no time.”
“Maybe.”
“No maybe. You did that much, you can and will do the rest. I have a few more things for us to work on today, then I promise I will let you rest.”
He had me sit on a green band and reach across the room as far as I could. We worked on just standing upright without holding on to anything, and he had me doing small things like touching my fingers to my nose without looking. I wasn’t sure how any of these would help, but he seemed to know what he was doing, and if I had any shot of getting my life back, I had to trust him.
“You did great today. I know these are hard, but you made it through everything I asked you to. I wish there were a few more we could try, but with your body physically healing still, they will have to wait.”
“Until when? I want to get better and get out of here.”
“Trying to leave me already?” he asked and pretended to frown.
It was adorable and I wanted to see him beg me to stay.
“Maybe,” I joked back.
“Ouch. Well then. I will take my notes and head down the hall to Mrs. George’s room then.”
“You don’t really have to go,” I said quickly.
“I do though. I really have to get to her and start her treatment. I can swing by later if I get a chance and see how you are.”
“Okay,” I said and gave him a small smile.
“Good.”
He made it to the door before Jack and Oscar almost plowed into him.
“Sorry,” he said and tried to squeeze past him. When it didn’t work, he dropped the leash and Oscar came flying up on the bed.
“No problem. We just finished up and I was on my way out. I will be back later,” he said to me before disappearing.
“Made it, finally,” Jack said and collapsed into the chair by the bed.
“Finally?”
“He cried all day. Pacing back and forth, he wouldn’t calm down. As soon as I grabbed his leash, he perked up and practically dragged me out of the house and to the car. He wasn’t happy he wasn’t here with you.”
“I missed him too.” I did too. I buried my face in his soft coat and let the stress and pain of the day melt off of me. He pressed into me a little harder and I heard him let out a sigh as his body went limp.
“That was all he wanted. I couldn’t get any work done today,” he said but laughed. I didn’t think Jack knew how to be angry. It was one thing I loved about him and Adam. They were always there for each other and I couldn’t remember a time they fought. At least not in the few weeks I could remember.
