Horns and Halos, page 34
I nodded, my forehead resting on his. “Yeah, I’m pretty tired.”
He gently kissed my head and said, “Go rest, Sia. Tomorrow is a new day.”
“Thank you.” I made sure to look him in the eyes when I said it. “Goodnight,” I whispered.
“Goodnight.”
Slipping into my room, I closed the door gently and rolled until my back rested on it. Looking to the ceiling I said, “God, please help me.”
“Trust me, he isn’t listening,” Draki stated. His back was to me, and he was looking out the window.
Fear gripped me. “What are you doing here?”
He looked over his shoulder and then back out the window. “I finished my task. Your old village is no longer bound by its devil, and you won’t have to worry about it ever coming to seek revenge.”
I didn’t want to know what he had done in order to achieve that. Whatever it was, I was sure it wasn’t good. The more I realized that Draki had done something terrible to uphold his end of the bargain, the more that I felt the lighthearted mood shift into something darker. I pulled the blanket around my shoulders and frowned a little bit. Something didn’t feel right. Everything felt ominous, somehow.
“Are you ready?”
“For?”
He turned around with a smile as bright as the moon and as dark as the midnight sky. “For you to pay up.”
I almost choked on the air I was breathing. “Now? I thought I had until my parents and everyone else got here.”
Laughing, he started to gradually close the distance between us, but the bed acted as a barrier, halting him in his approach. “Why would I do that? You got what you asked for and more. I’ve done more than my fair share. I think it’s time you show me a little kindness and pay up. Of course, as agreed, I’ll let you have your time for mourning before we talk about the next payment.”
“You never planned to let them get here before I would have to pay, did you?”
He looked unbothered by the question. “Did you think that your happiness was what I was after? I revel in your despair. I build you up to watch you plummet to the unforgiving ground. My greatest joy is seeing you get close to God and then watching you fall away from Him. My thrill comes from seeing you feel like there isn’t a thing in this world that can break you, and then I come along and leave you shattered at my feet. My joy is your pain, Sia. How did you ever think that there was more to you and me than that?”
It shouldn’t have hurt to hear him say it, but it did, and I knew exactly why. “I guess when you’re friends with the biggest monster in the room, you tend to forget that it’s always hungry.”
His grin widened. “I’m so very hungry, Sia. And it’s time for me to collect what is rightfully mine.”
There was no escaping it now. There was no turning back. I had to pay him what I promised at the start of all this. A choice that I thought that I would be able to endure, but it’s funny how you think that you can do anything in order to stay alive ...
My voice sounded like it was made of sandpaper as I yelled, “I want to ... make ... a deal.”
“What kind of deal?” he purred darkly.
My mind raced, and the sensation of his nails scraping over my tender skin didn’t make me feel like I had a lot of time to decide. One thing was for certain, I wanted to survive and find somewhere to call home. I didn’t want to tie myself down to a place I had never seen with my own two eyes and then find out it wasn’t what I expected it to be, so I made the best choice for myself at that moment.
“Protect me until I find a place to call home and do whatever is in my best interest for me.”
His grin was too wide and twisted. “Hahahaha ... look at you being so clever. And what do I get out of the deal?”
“When I die, you can have my soul.”
His smile melted away. He gave me a smug look with a quick, nasally laugh. “It’s no fun for me if it’s that obvious. Your soul wouldn’t make this deal enjoyable for me. No, no, my dear. I’ll need something a little better than that.”
My heartbeat swallowed every nerve in me, and my eyes widened. Was I being denied? Was I going to die? “Then what do you want?” The worry was evident on my face as I searched his golden gaze. He had all the power in that moment, and he knew it.
For a long moment, he turned his head from side to side, inspecting me like he was a predator and I was prey he had caught right after a meal. Was he still hungry? Did he devour me or let me go? After a long moment, he said, “I want the soul of your first love.”
“I’ve never been in love.”
Dark chuckling erupted from him, and it crashed into my chest like a punch. His free hand reached out and moved a braid from my blood-spattered cheek as he let the laughter fade. With his face inches from mine, he let his nails retract and he whispered happily, “And that, my dear, is how this arrangement just became all the more interesting.” The hand that once held me captive reached out in my direction. “Do we have a deal?”
I didn’t love anyone, so there couldn’t be any harm in accepting. Besides, how hard could it be to not fall in love with someone? I would live, no one would die ... I failed to see the problem. Without batting an eyelash, I took his hand and felt heat dance over my palm.
“Deal,” I grunted out between aching breaths.
I stared at Draki with stunned surprise. “I—”
“You what?” He had a bored expression that was laced with a hidden anger. “You just needed more time? You just wanted to stall? You just wanted to escape the responsibility of staying true to your word?”
With every word spoken, I felt my heartbeat quicken, and it drummed to a painful rhythm. The truth to everything he asked was yes, but I wasn’t about to say that out loud to him, though.
“I just expected my family to be here first.”
The look in his eyes told me everything that his words never would. There was refined rage brewing under that blank expression. There was a sadistic joy tucked away beneath his perfect mask.
“I’ve given you more than enough. I want a taste of what belongs to me. No more running, Sia.” That last part hit home a little more than I wanted it to. My lip quivered, and he smiled. “It’s time to pay up,” he whispered gently, but there was no kindness to his words.
It went without saying that I wasn’t ready, and I never would be. There was no fighting him or avoiding it any more than I had. Up until this point, I did everything that I could and took all the possible steps to try to extend an inevitable fate. The blanket couldn’t fight back the chill that assaulted me. Nothing would take away the harsh reality that froze me from the inside out. It was more than realizing I had made a horrible choice from the start, it was the fact that I had to pay one way or another. I had decided that I wasn’t going to let anyone be the victim. Not if I could help it.
Draki still stood by the window. It was just like him to want people to go to him instead of the other way around. Now that I let go of everything and had nothing to lose, I saw all the things that I had blinded myself to for so long. In such a short amount of time, he had become a stranger to me. Did I ever really know him, or had I made it all up so that I could forget the monster that he was?
Gradually—his actions full of triumph—the devil lifted his hand, stretched it out palm up, and said, “Give me what is mine.”
With a shaky exhale, I gave up and gave in. My eyes locked with his. My watery blue hues didn’t flinch as his molten golden orbs glowed victoriously at me.
“Okay,” I said, but I never moved from my spot. I stood my ground as I held him in my sights.
For the first time, I saw Draki’s brow bend ever so slightly as he tried to understand why I wasn’t walking out of the room defeated. “What game are you playing, Sia?”
“I’m not playing, Draki.”
His chest rose and fell slowly. “You’re trying my patience.”
“I promise you, I’m not tricking you, Draki. I’m giving you the soul of my first love.”
The creases on his forehead deepened. The damage was already done. I could see the sparks of it in the middle of the darkened room. His eyes flicked over to a slight glow that had softly illuminated the shadows. The skin of his hand looked like paper slowly burning. The edges of his fingers were alight with orange before they turned to soft, gray ash that floated away at the slightest movement of air.
He snapped his heated gaze to me and snarled, “Me?”
I didn’t reply. I only stared at him quietly. The silence stretched, and the sound of an unseen fire burning broke through the stillness of the room.
The storm clouds in his eyes rolled in. Thunder rumbled in his throat. Rage twisted his features until I felt the need to take a step back from him out of fear that he would rush at me and snap my neck. I knew that there was no escape from his wrath. Death awaited me tonight with him. I had reserved myself to that fact when I stood out on the porch earlier that evening. I just didn’t think that it would be so soon, that it would be right now. But there was a time even before that when I had made the choice to love him. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, and that made me disgusted with myself. It made me feel so disappointed in every inch of my soul. How could I love someone like him so easily? I had hushed that voice within me with the fact that I wouldn’t be the one to take away someone’s life. I wouldn’t fall in love if it meant I would sacrifice that person in the end. That didn’t sound like the love I thought of when I looked at momma and daddy. They raised me better than that, and I wasn’t that selfish.
Draki brought his hand closer to his face. The light made dark shadows play across his face and illuminated his pale skin with a soft, ginger hue. “Are you serious?”
“I love you, Draki.”
“You heartless wench!” he growled. “You stupid girl!” he roared and threw the bed that was between us out of the way like it was nothing. It splintered on the opposing wall, and I flinched from the sound. “Why me? Of all the people you could have chosen, why me? I’m a devil. I’m. A. Devil!”
“I know,” I said simply, in a voice that was far too sweet and calm for what was happening.
He snarled, “I’m the devil!”
I saw the line of orange that was burning over his skin reach the midpoint of his fingers, and the tip fell off and instantly floated away like gray snowflakes in the blackened void of my room.
“I know,” I repeated softly.
A moment ticked by where we held each other’s gaze in tension-filled silence.
“I would have never loved you, Sia. I never will.”
I sighed, again. “I know, Draki. I know that there isn’t a single reason I should have fallen for you, but I did. I found reasons to love you until it became horribly unnatural to do so. I’d make excuses for your venomous words, I would ignore your hurtful actions, I made so many things my fault, and I picked apart everything you said and did until it made sense even when it didn’t. I did it until there was nothing but positives that had manifested from my own lies. I should have never loved you ... but I did. In the end, we used each other. I used you for protection, and you used me for amusement, and now?” I laughed with a devilish smile. I wasn’t going to be weak in my final moments. “Now we are done, and I’m making sure that you won’t hurt anyone ever again.”
“You’re foolish if you think that I can’t tear everything down before I die.”
“It would go against our unfinished deal.”
“I hate you!” he bellowed.
“Love and hate are two sides of the same coin.”
“You bitch!” He screamed and moved faster than I could follow.
So I closed my eyes.
I waited in those seconds that stretched out like hours for him to reach me and make me suffer. But I had already won. I just wish it didn’t have to end like this. I wanted to see meemaw, daddy, and momma again. I wanted to hug Elijah and tell him I love him one more time. I wanted to laugh with Ivy. I wanted to watch the village grow and prosper. I wanted so many things that I couldn’t be a part of anymore.
Outside of my room, I could hear Elijah banging on my door. Fresh panic prickled across my skin. I prayed.
“God forgive me for all my sins. I repent and hand all my troubles, worries, and problems over to you. May you guide and guard me through this storm. Keep him safe. Keep them all safe and watch over them. Please! Please help me!”
I heard a voice that was unfamiliar just as a light erupted in the room like I had a bonfire started right in front of me. Any moment, I would feel the stinging pain of my burning skin.
“YOU WILL NOT TOUCH HER, FALLEN ONE!”
I opened my eyes just in time to see Draki fly backward and slam into the wall. The impact was so great that the window broke. Glass rained down on the hardwood floors, and I could hear it tinkle against the ground outside. The devil fell in a heap below the busted opening with a grunt of pain. Tangled white strands of hair half-hid his face as he struggled to stand. Suddenly, a clawed finger pointed in my direction, but he was pointing at something behind me. Something I was too afraid to look at. Yet, from the corner of my vision, I could see golden wings curling around me.
“You can’t be here. She is mine! Step aside!”
“I don’t follow your commands. I follow the will of the Father. She is no longer yours. Her body and spirit now belong to Him.”
“That wasn’t part of the agreement!”
“Flee from this place before His judgment finds you.”
A fraction of a second went by as I watched the flustered devil wrestle his emotions. Suddenly, plumes of red smoke billowed, and the devil that had kept me helpless for so long was gone. Around me were golden, fiery wings that felt warm but didn’t burn. There was a sword covered in wildly dancing flames, and there was a light so bright that I was sure that the sun had risen in the middle of my room. I turned slowly to face the being. I tried to see some finer details, but I could never see them past the blinding light coming off of him. The outline of a person was there, but it hurt to look at him.
“Sia?!” Elijah yelled, and the door bowed as he threw his weight upon it.
“I’m okay! Don’t come in!” I wasn’t sure that it was a hundred percent safe to. “Are you ... going to kill me?” I asked in a hushed voice that was only for the winged being of light and fire to hear.
His sword lowered. “The pact with the devil is now over. You have no more ties to the fallen one. You are now a child of the light. Your covenant is with the Father. He protects this place, and you will be watched over by me, as I am your angel.”
“My a-angel ...?”
He nodded. “Everyone has at least one,” he explained.
“Do I need to do anything?”
“Only to love with all your heart, believe in the Father and the Son, and love them with all that you are.”
“Nothing more?” I seemed disappointed as I questioned him.
I couldn’t really see it, but—somehow—I knew that he was smiling. “If you love with all your heart, you cannot kill, steal, cheat, corrupt, or sin. If you love, you forgive. There is nothing above this. Love is the greatest commandment.” Turning slowly, he motioned for the exit. “Your friend is waiting for you.”
I found myself following the sweep of his hand and stopped before I could reach the door. Breaking out of my trance, I called back to him, “Wait. I just have one more question. What’s your name?”
He smiled and said, “Michael,” as the feathers on his wings rustled like they were shivering with excitement. The sword with dancing fires was sheathed, and he pointed to the door again. “Know that I am watching, and the Father is always listening.”
“You mean ... you mean God heard me?”
“He always has, Sia. There was never a moment your voice or thoughts were hidden from Him,” Michael replied and then he faded from sight.
My eyes welled with tears, and I sniffled. It was the pounding of Elijah’s fists on the door that made me turn, and in a haze of wonderment, I rushed to open the door. Tears were freely streaming down my face, and I hit my knees as soon as I saw Elijah. My hand covered my mouth, and I let the other grab at my chest and twist the fabric in my hand.
“He’s gone,” I croaked out. “Draki’s gone,” I stated between sobs.
“What?” Elijah gasped.
At that moment, I felt every part of me understand what it meant to love Draki. I accepted it. I knew it. I hated it—and yet—I found myself missing him already. Despite all the torture and pain he put me through ... I loved him. I could never accept him like I once had. I knew that everything I thought Draki was ... was all an illusion. I had fallen victim to him. Even though there was nothing about him that was good or healthy, I embraced him without batting an eyelash. But, at the end of the day, I knew that there was never a future for him and me. Not one that I could be happy in. Knowing all of this didn’t stop it from hurting. It didn’t stop me from feeling like a villain for loving the wrong man when all I wanted was to give Elijah my heart from the start. For so long I felt horrible for caring about Elijah while loving Draki. A necessary evil doesn’t mend a broken heart, it defines one. Yet, it had become a blemish on my soul that made me unhappy every time I caved to my desire to be with Elijah. I tormented myself because I loved two men at the same time for entirely different reasons. But, in reality, my heart knew that the love that I felt for Draki was forced. I latched onto his strength and told myself that he cared about me too. The truth was: at some point, I didn’t have to force myself to love him anymore. It just happened naturally ... and that tore me up. In the end, Draki was gone, but my heart was still broken no matter how much I tried to make sense of it all.
I struggled to find an even breath between sniffles. “He’s gone,” I repeated, my voice no more than a strained whisper.
“What happened? Are you okay?”
I knew that he was refraining from asking how we would keep a city this large safe from the demons that lay in waiting out in the Wastes. Controlling the tears proved to be more difficult than I would have ever thought. I fought to inhale and not have it immediately turn into more weeping. I sputtered every time I tried to speak. My mouth opened, and sorrow flowed out. No matter what I thought about myself, after everything that had happened, I had been forgiven. I was saved.
