Horns and Halos, page 23
“These look so bad, Elijah. I’m going to have to go back for our things in the morning,” I admitted. Hearing myself say it out loud made the reality of our situation sink in. It made me realize, again, just how close we were to the faith city and how much heading back was going to hinder us from reaching our destination. I didn’t want to be out here another night. If Saint Augustine was a symbol of hope then the Wastes were the absence of it, and I didn’t want to linger one more hopeless night in the desert filled with nightmares and despair.
“I should be fine until we get to the faith city,” he replied softly.
I stared at him in confusion. “We are still unsure if we’ll be able to make it there in a day. If infection settles in—”
“Making it there has been just as important to me as it has been for you, Sia. I don’t want any more setbacks.”
Shaking my head, I said, “No. No, I’m not risking your life so we can stay on an imaginary schedule. We’re going to head back and get our things.”
“And what if we go and there isn’t anything left? What if we waste all the time just to find out that everything is damaged or ruined beyond use? We would have risked it all for nothing.”
“It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
“We are so close!”
“I don’t care,” I snapped back.
“I don’t get it. We are right there. Surely they will have supplies. We can just push ourselves a little harder.”
“And if we can’t make it in a day?”
“Then we travel a few hours by night.”
“You seem confident that they’ll open the gates in the middle of the night.”
“I’m more confident in that than I am in the supplies still being intact,” he grumbled angrily.
“There isn’t any harm in trying. Your injuries aren’t just little scratches, Elijah.”
“I don’t understand why you are so hard-pressed on heading back.”
“Because I want to do everything in my power to make sure that you don’t get sick. I’ve seen people die over less because they didn’t get treated properly. Even you’ve told me that. Timing and caring for a wound are everything.”
He grabbed my wrist. “Are you concerned about me because I’m your friend or because I’m something more?”
I twisted in his grasp awkwardly and lost the heat in my voice. “Let me go,” I whispered, though I lacked any conviction.
“Are you asking because you’re concerned as a friend or something more, Sia?”
“Elijah, please.”
He yanked me over to him, and I tripped over the uneven flooring and crashed into his bare chest. He inhaled sharply and then went stiff. For fear of hurting him further, I did everything in my power to minimize movement and felt his muscles shift under the press of my cheek. I could hear his heartbeat thundering in his chest, and I felt his breathing slow down. Sluggishly, I raised my head and our gazes became tangled.
“What am I to you, Sia?” he asked in a raspy voice threaded with pain.
I opened my mouth but words failed me. I should lie. My instant thought was to lie to him and tell him that he was nothing and that we were only friends. I wanted to tell him that everything that happened between us was me just feeling lost, confused, and lonely. All I had to do was speak and then spend the rest of my life apologizing to him ... that was assuming he wanted to be in my life after I said everything that was tumbling about in my mind.
“Tell me!” he growled.
I drew in a deep breath, but my words failed me again. I slammed into his mouth and our hands were instantly all over one another. I couldn’t tell what I was touching. I just let my fingers trace his skin while I attempted to map out his body with touch alone. My lips blazed over his, and we panted for breath between hungry kisses. Faded memories of dreams and flames and screams assaulted my mind. I saw blood on my hand, and the machete buried deep in Elijah’s gut. Suddenly, I heard Elijah inhale in discomfort.
Sia, why?
“Wait. Wait. Wait,” I begged between his kisses that trailed from the corner of my mouth, down my chin, and across my neck. Though I was proud of gaining some sort of control over my desire, my body wasn’t as happy with me.
His mouth raced back up, and he nibbled on my earlobe. Breathily, he asked, “What? What is it?”
I shivered and licked my lips. “We need to slow down.”
His groan was a partial growl. I didn’t know how hard it had to be for him to keep stopping himself, and I sympathized with him because it was hard for me too. I had to keep my head straight. I was suddenly envisioning Draki and the way he looked at the mouth of the cave as he was bathed in moonlight and glittering like a winter fantasy in the middle of summer.
“Tell me,” Elijah whispered into the cuff of my ear.
I moaned, and I felt him hug me closer to his body. “Elijah, it’s complicated,” I admitted.
His mouth pressed over my shoulder and then, right at the base of my neck, he bit down. Shutting my eyes, I rode the wave of pain that mingled with dangerous pleasure. Then his soft kisses fluttered over the teeth marks he had left behind. “Sia, please, tell me.”
“More,” I whispered.
Elijah went so still that I was afraid that I had said the wrong thing. The fire popped, and my heart leaped at the sound. His chest swelled with his inhale, and he asked, “More what?”
Oh, how my body was mad at me! I wanted to just let go and fall into him in a way that made me ache. I felt like I was causing myself physical pain by bridling my passion, but I held my ground and focused on being as honest as I dared to be in that moment. It would be enough to make me feel more at ease. It would be enough to keep him by my side. It would be enough to keep Draki from doing more damage than my slight utterance of truth.
Our lips grazed as we forced ourselves to look into each other’s eyes. I saw the suffering in his hazel hues that was both emotional and physical. It all collided with me, and I said the one thing that held so much weight. “You’re more than a friend to me, Elijah.” He drew in a breath to speak, and I gingerly laid my fingers over his lips to stop him. “But I’m not sure about what that means for us. I’m trying to navigate this world, my emotions, and everything else. I need time to figure everything out. You ... you understand, right?”
Defeated, he threw his head back and sat there staring at the cave ceiling. After a moment, he responded. “I do.” There was another lull before he asked, “Are you going to keep me waiting forever?”
I couldn’t answer him honestly on that because I didn’t know what the answer was. “No,” I said. The lie went down like I was swallowing a sip of bitter tea.
He smiled and said, “Okay.”
Just like that, his inner beast seemed to be quelled. His brow knit, and I realized that I was lying half on his wound. The adrenaline was ebbing, and I was sure that the soreness was resurfacing. He grunted in pain, and I scrambled off him as best I could without moving him too much.
“I’m sorry!”
“You’re fine,” he mumbled.
“Lay down.” I bit my lower lip while looking at him. “I’ll try to find a way to clean you up as best I can. Until then, try to not move around a whole lot,” I said softly.
He nodded and then groaned. “Yeah. No problem,” he stated with his eyes drooping a bit.
I stood to look around for something, knowing I wouldn’t find anything. From the corner of my eye, I saw movement at the mouth of the cave. I turned quickly but didn’t see a living being standing there. Instead, I saw our belongings from the previous camp piled just inside the opening. I looked around but found no one. Not even a whisper was in my mind. But I knew without asking that it had been Draki. The real question was when he had brought them to us?
Without delay, I went to work on cleaning Elijah’s injuries and bandaged him up. After I finished, we both went to sleep. However, the night was full of more tossing and turning than sleep for me, so it came as no surprise that by the time the peeking sun changed the colors of the sky on the horizon, I was up and breaking down the camp. Elijah woke up due to pain when I was nearly finished. Since he was up, I checked the bandages, cleaned the wounds again, and we prepared to set out.
I tried to keep our pace on the slower side, but Elijah wasn’t having it. I had tried the whole time to get him to take breaks along the way but, again, the young man ignored my persistent pleas and pressed on like he wasn’t hurt at all. Looking to the sun overhead, I scowled at the sky and then to the fast-approaching city.
“Elijah, stop pushing yourself. You’ll risk your wounds opening again. We need to slow down.”
“We’re almost there.”
“It won’t matter if you pass out before we make it there.”
“I won’t pass out,” he stated in a tone that was muddled with exhaustion.
“You will if you keep pushing yourself like this.”
He gave me a look and said, “I’m fine.”
“I suppose I should prepare myself to drag you through the front gates if we make it there before nightfall.”
“With those scrawny arms? Please ... we might as well tack another day onto this trip.”
“If you weren’t already injured, I’d give you a fat lip for that comment.”
He laughed and muttered under his breath, “As long as you do it with your mouth, I won’t mind taking the beating even with these injuries.”
I felt myself flushed and ignored the heat rushing over my whole body. “My arms are strong enough to slice a limb or two of yours off.”
“That reminds me, maybe I should carry that blade for a bit.”
I giggled at him and ticked my finger from side to side. “I think it’s better attached to my hip, thank you.”
We laughed, and I felt some of my anger lift. Again, I looked to the sky and sighed as I noted the position of the sun. Then—slowly—I took into account how close the city looked and pursed my lips to the side.
He must have known what I was thinking, because Elijah said, “We’ll be there before nightfall, Sia.”
Looking at him, I tried to erase the worry from my face as I asked, “Are you sure?”
He nodded. “Yes. We can’t slow down because of me, though.”
“What if your wounds reopen?”
“I’m sure that the faith city will be able to see to my injuries far better than we could imagine. Besides, I’m rushing because one of them has reopened,” he explained gravely.
The color drained from my face, and my heart slammed down into my feet. Everything in me knew that this was bad. I rushed over to him and forced him to face me. Before he could stop me, I had lifted his shirt and was ready to look under the bandage, but the cloth was soaked in crimson and a thin stream of blood was traveling down his abs. Fear coursed through my body and my stomach clenched. Unsure of how to respond to it, I just stared at the wound in disbelief. How long had he traveled like this? Why hadn’t I asked him to stop more so I could check on him or change his bandages? I felt sick as I tried to come up with a way to fix it and realized that there was nothing that I could do out in the middle of the Wastes with limited medical supplies. Worst of all, even if we did want to camp out for another night, the fact that the blood was fresh would only call more demons. We had to make it to the faith city today.
Elijah gently covered my hands with his and spoke softly to me. “I’m trying to use what strength I have to get there before my body gives out on me. I didn’t want to worry you.”
“This isn’t right, Elijah.” I could hear my voice crack as I said it.
He stroked my head and ran his fingers through my braids. “It’s not your fault. Don’t start blaming yourself.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I met his gaze and instantly my eyes welled with tears. “I don’t want you to keep anything from me like that again.”
“I won’t keep secrets if you don’t,” he said in a voice that was so free of worry that it tore right through me.
He never thought that I was keeping more than Draki from him. He didn’t think that I had a secret that would make him lose that sparkle in his eyes and warmth in his smile. If he knew the darkness that I harbored, would he still care so much about me? I couldn’t bear to look into his achingly beautiful hazel hues anymore. Instead, I looked away, and I was greeted with the pink flesh of his scar on his arm. I remembered how the chain tattoo had been so cruelly ripped out of him, and I screwed my eyes shut. If he had never met me, would he have suffered as greatly as he had? His hand guided my chin up, but I still refused to look at him.
“Open your eyes, Sia.”
“I feel like it’s my fault.”
“Open your eyes.”
Reluctantly, I did, and I felt the stinging promise of tears burn my vision.
“It’s not your fault,” he assured sweetly. I pouted and he laughed. “You didn’t send the grunts after me, did you?”
“No,” I mumbled.
“Then you have nothing to be sorry about.” I watched as he swayed for a moment, and he shook his head lightly. “Come on, we need to get a move on. The city walls are visible. Within hours we will be there.”
I looked over my shoulder to the city that sparkled under the sunlight. Saint Augustine was only hours away, just like Elijah had said. If we were lucky, we’d make it there before dusk and we wouldn’t have to find a place to camp for the night. Even though I wanted him to take it easy, we didn’t have that luxury. It wasn’t about me wanting to make it to the faith city because of my blind ambitions and a promise made to my meemaw. It was because I wanted him to be safe and taken care of.
“Let’s drink some water and then we can get right back to traveling.”
“Fair,” he stated, reaching for his canteen.
“And if you feel like you need to take a break—”
“You’ll be the first to know,” he swore.
Chapter 25:
A Strange Welcome
It was a little before dusk when we arrived just outside of Saint Augustine’s walls. I had watched the giant barrier inch closer and closer for several hours now. The polished metal of the wall was almost blinding as its reflective surface sent rays of light extending far beyond its safety and deep into the hopeless stretch of the Wastes. But it wasn’t the city’s fortifications that I was strangely captivated by, presently. It was the man just outside of them that had my attention.
He was sitting at the base of the city wall. From what I could tell, his garments were tan, tattered, and robe-like, though it was hard to be completely sure as he was covered—from head to his bare feet—in locusts. There were a few flying around him and more crawling about the surrounding ground nearby, but the mass collection of them crept all over the man. He lifted an oddly soft, clean, and olive-complexioned hand into the air, and a lone locust flew over and landed on his extended finger. His head was shrouded in the shadow provided by his hood, and he seemed more fixed on the insect that had just landed on his digit than the new visitors approaching.
“City searchers, aye?” The person cloaked in shabby garbs and locusts asked when we were within earshot.
“Yes. D-do you know if the city accepts strangers?” I asked.
I heard him give a short, nasally laugh. “Stranger things have entered, and stranger things therein dwell, but if you ask if they will take you, they surely won’t turn able bodies away.”
“I’m sorry, do you live here?” Elijah asked.
“In the world, in this spot, or within the city?” he countered with a tilt of his head.
A few locusts fluttered by me, and I dodged the small swarm as best I could. I figured I would try a different approach. “We’re just wondering if you could give us any advice,” I said with a smile. “Mister ... uh, what’s your name?”
The man tilted his head to the other side and hummed as he stared at us. From beneath the cowl, I could see his eyes inspecting me, but it was the familiar way that his look shot through me that set me on edge. Draki could do that with his eyes. Stare at you like he was examining all the parts and pieces that went beyond blood and bone and weighed out every inch of you while you could do nothing but be lain bare before him. I squirmed and hugged myself, which only made the cloaked man laugh.
Slowly, he stood, and the locusts circled him excitedly as he moved about. The hood was brought down, and I could see that he had heterochromia. One eye was a deep, chocolaty brown while the other was as blue as the summer sky. His short, black locks looked clean despite his appearance, and the stubble lining his face gave him a more rugged look. He smiled, and clean, white teeth flashed back at me.
“Is the lady asking for my name?”
“I ... think so?” I stated a bit confused. Was it too late to wish him a good day and walk away?
He laughed again. “Abaddon,” he replied with threads of laughter. Then he motioned to me. “And you are?”
I wanted to tell him my real name for a moment and had to break eye contact with him. Shaking my head, I looked at him perplexed. He didn’t come across like a devil, but his power was undeniable.
“I’m Sia,” I said, finally.
“Do you know anything about the city?” Elijah asked.
“I know a great deal of things, but the sun won’t let me list them all if you wish to be safe tonight,” Abaddon replied.
“Will we be accepted into the city tonight?” My voice sounded as worried as I felt. Not just because we were running out of time to find a place to camp if we wouldn’t be let in, but I took one look at Elijah and knew that his injuries were taking a toll on him. We needed to get him treated and given proper antibiotics tonight, if possible. The only way we could do that is if we got into the city before nightfall.
Abaddon looked up to the walls and then back to me. “Yes.”
“Thank you,” I quickly blurted out and grabbed Elijah by the hand, tugging him toward the main entrance.
“Sia!” Abaddon called out to me.
“Keep walking,” I told Elijah in a whisper. As he walked off, I turned and faced the strange man.
