Horns and Halos, page 28
The crowd thinned out, leaving only Elijah, myself, and an older man that stood nearby. The older gentleman had gray hair and sun-worn skin that looked like old leather. His eyes were tired, and he wore a red cardigan over a wrinkled and stained white shirt. I eyed over his dirt-splotched jeans and assumed that he had arrived that same day from the Wastes.
After a short moment, we were led deeper into the cathedral. The light tap of the staff gave off a muffled pang against the red carpet that made the tiny attached bells jingle with each step. My eyes walked up and down either side of the building, noting the pews with people seated, heads bowed, hands married, and eyes closed. It reminded me of the cave drawings. Had I not seen the rise and fall of their chest, I would have thought them all to be strange statues.
The light pouring in through the stained-glass windows splashed every surface with a vivid glow of color. The inside of the cathedral had turned into a kaleidoscope, and every piece of furniture and person was redesigned in a beautiful rainbow of fractured light.
We stopped at the base of a small stack of stairs that led up to an altar. The Grand Master turned and spoke to us with an excited glint in his eyes. “What a grand day this is to have three newcomers. We are blessed, truly.” He bowed his head and whispered something before lifting back and motioning for us all to come closer. “Normally, we receive one or two newcomers every couple of weeks. This week, though, we have three newcomers all at once. What a gift. What a gift.” He chuckled happily. “Tell me, what are your names?”
“Dean,” the older gentleman expressed in a soft voice.
“Elijah.”
“Sia.”
The Grand Master’s vision rested respectfully upon each individual as we gave our names. He nodded and drew in a deep breath. “Welcome to our city, Sia, Elijah, and Dean. I hope that you have found rest and comfort within our walls, but—most importantly—I hope that you have found a home.” He turned and motioned to the entire cathedral. “Today, you will be gifted with a tutor from us to teach you both our ways and that of the Lord. This is to prepare you for the Hours of Whispered Prayers.”
“The Hours of Whispered Prayers?” I asked.
He looked at me with a flash of silent judgment before he explained further. “Yes. It is a ritual that we perform together to keep the city safe each night. It is a burden we share so that our city remains untouched by the darkness that lurks beyond our walls.”
“How do you all do that?” Elijah asked.
“In due time, lad. In due time. First, let us set you up with private tutors to ensure that you learn our valuable teachings that will aid in your devoted service later on.”
“When are we to serve, Grand Master?” Dean inquired.
Arland grinned and said, “Your first calling will be one week from today.”
Many thoughts passed through my mind at that moment. What were we learning? How did we do this ritual? Why did we need to be tutored? Should I be concerned? My internal questioning was disrupted by the Grand Master saying my name.
“Sia, I shall pair you with one of my most favorite tutors. She is a faith healer, a wonderful teacher, and a delightful soul.” He called over his shoulder, “Ivy, my dear, come greet your new student.”
From a hidden room behind him, there came a woman that made every anxiety in me melt away upon seeing her. The girl’s golden, curly hair shined like it had been spun from sunshine, and her soft, pink skin looked as though it rarely saw the world outside the cathedral walls. Long lashes hugged her milky green eyes, and her steps were swift and sure despite the fact that I could tell that she was blind. Her form was covered up in a long, sage green dress that swept the floor as she glided toward me.
Behind her trailed a young man with deeply tanned skin. His deep brown eyes were almost black, and as the young lady stepped forward, he walked behind like a faithful shadow. “Miss Ivy, the steps are ahead,” he said in an accent that was as thick as his jet-black hair.
“Thank you, James,” Ivy whispered. The faint smile on her pretty pink lips made me mirror the expression as she came to the Grand Master’s side. Her short stature made Arland look strangely tall as he faced her.
“Greetings, Grand Master,” Ivy proclaimed with a bow.
“Ivy,” Arland started and took the girl’s hand and then my own. I wanted to pull away but allowed him to bring me to the young lady. “This is Sia. She is to be your new student for the next week. We’ll need her ready for the next round of chosen ones for the Hours of Whispered Prayers.”
Her tiny hand found mine and squeezed, and I felt like she could see me as she faced me. Softly, she spoke to Arland, “I understand, Grand Master. Consider her well taken care of. I shall have her fully prepared for next week.”
“Good girl,” Arland stated with a joyful grin. Then he motioned for Elijah to come forward. “James, how about you take this lad to meet David for me? That’ll be a good pairing, I think.” As they spoke, their voices were drowned out by Ivy’s as she gently tugged me further into the building and toward the doors that led into a deep, dark, and dreary hallway.
I suddenly longed for the massive, open main room with many windows that basked in an abundance of warm sunshine. The halls we were now in were on the side that was devoid of light during these hours, which made our walk feel cold and eerie. Suddenly, Ivy turned in one direction and then another and stopped. Letting go of my hand, she spun on heel and faced me with a crease deeply set in her brow.
“I’m sorry, Sia, but I will have to ask you to tell your friend to stay behind. Only one student is permitted per tutor.”
I looked from her to my side and then behind me. There was no one there. At least, no one that she could see. “I–”
Draki’s voice inside my mind caused me to take a pause. “Seems I can’t tag along like usual. I’ll meet up with you outside the cathedral when your little learning session is over.”
Attempting to change the subject and not appear nervous while the devil parted ways, I asked Ivy, “Why are people paired up in such small groups? Wouldn’t it be easier to teach a class?”
“Every person is different. While more people can be taught, we find that one-on-one sessions are more personal and bring about a healthier learning atmosphere for each student.”
They needed all the help they could get in that department. The walk up here paired with the haunting halls made the whole experience feel like I was being dragged off to be tortured for a crime I didn’t commit. “Oh. Where are we heading?”
She held out her hand to me. “May I?”
Awkwardly, I nodded, smacked my face, and then put my hand in hers saying, “Yes.”
She laughed like she knew what I had done. “Don’t beat yourself up. It takes time to get used to being around people that aren’t like you. Give it time. You weren’t born able to walk, you had to learn.”
I smiled. The words were comforting. Unlike Arland, when Ivy smiled, it felt real and made me feel like I could trust her. “Thank you.”
We headed deeper into the hall. I honestly started to wonder how big the building was. There was nothing but a never-ending stretch of gray, stone walls. When I thought we would have kept going, Ivy stopped and opened a door. As we entered the room, I took note of the small table and rickety chair in the center. There was a desk tucked into a corner near a chalkboard on wheels, and a small chest near the entrance was nestled next to a tall bookcase with very few books. It looked uninviting but I said nothing as I waited for Ivy.
“Please, take a seat,” she stated, motioning toward the two seating options in the room.
Not wanting to sit at a desk, I opted for the chair at the table and winced as I heard the poor wood whine under my weight. I drummed my fingers over the surprisingly smooth surface of the old table and gave the room another once-over before asking, “Sooo ... what am I going to be learning about?”
“A great deal of things. I will do my best to be thorough and informative, but please ask me anything if you feel lost or confused. This will help you have a better understanding and, therefore, a stronger sense of faith for the Hours of Whispered Prayers.”
“Faith in what?” I asked softly in a curious tone.
“It’s when you believe in—”
My head immediately started to hurt as she talked. The finer details of the room became hazy and distorted as my vision blurred. Panic swelled within my chest as my eyesight faded for a moment. My blood felt like it was on fire, and it blazed its way through my veins without remorse. My stomach churned, and I felt the urge to expel anything that I had consumed that day. Gripping the table, I sat with my mouth unhinged in soundless agony as each fresh wave of pain mingled with the surge of heat that flowed through my body. As the ringing in my ears faded, I heard Ivy’s voice again.
“Does that make sense?”
No, because I didn’t hear a single thing you said, I thought. Shifting uncomfortably in my seat, I timidly asked, “I’m sorry. Would you mind repeating that, please?”
There was a short pause before she smiled softly and slightly shook her head. “I don’t mind at all. Basically, what I was saying is, when you start to have faith in—”
Again, her voice was drowned out by pain, and my body felt like I was consumed by fire. My head felt like it was being crushed, beads of sweat built on my brow, and I pushed my hand over my heart where I felt like I had been stabbed by a hot iron poker. Screwing my eyes shut, I did everything in my power to regain focus on Ivy’s voice once again, but the one that I heard was far from the sweet girl before me.
“I would suggest you find a way to end your session early today. Clearly, you aren’t strong enough for what they are trying to teach you,” Draki hissed, his voice sounding slightly distant.
I said nothing in reply. I didn’t have time to before Ivy spoke again. This time, all of her attention was on me, and the expression on her face was disapproving.
Did she know?
I gulped as I watched her and looked at the door to the room. Would it be rude to just get up and walk out without saying anything? Even if I could, that wasn’t something I really wanted to do. For one, trying to escape a room with a blind person was beyond rude. She couldn’t see, true, but that didn’t mean she was stupid. However, I had considered it only because the way she looked at me told me I had done something unforgivable. Was that my conscience eating away at me, or was her unhappy glare in my direction giving me a silent warning that I was about to be met with a horrible fate for being tied to a devil and bravely entering a faith city?
“I can’t believe that you would have done this,” Ivy started. Blind or not, those eyes pierced through me like she saw the world in a way I never would understand. I felt like she saw things beyond the clothing and skin. It unnerved me. I felt like my flaws were on display. She drew in a long breath and exhaled it slowly before she continued. “And you said nothing to the Grand Master. Do you know what you could have done? The damage that could have ensued would have been irreparable. Do you care so little about yourself that you would have taken such drastic measures?”
“I was only doing what I thought I needed to in order to survive,” I half whined.
“I won’t stand for this. Not for another moment,” she stated in a stern voice.
“Please, let me explain.”
“There’s nothing to explain. I will inform the Grand Master of this at once. You shouldn’t be here.”
“Wait!”
“I will not! You are in pain. I might be blind, Sia, but I’m able to pick up on things.”
“I—”
Her countenance twisted in emotional distress, concern swirled in her milky, green gaze. “You have gone through so much out there. I have heard how long you have traveled out in the Wastes. I didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want to think about all the pain and struggles that you had to endure, but I can’t be unfair to you and pretend that it didn’t happen. You had to travel for such a long time ... I can’t even begin to imagine what you had to face beyond the safety of our walls. Because of that, I will request that the Grand Master give you some extra time to rest. I can tell that you are tired and still in pain from your travels.”
She thought that I was tired and still weary from my journey? Talk about a load off my shoulders! I had thought she knew about my pact with a devil. This was a far easier mess to clean up. After quickly collecting myself and rubbing my sweaty palms onto my pants legs, I called out to Ivy before she got to the door. “You don’t need to do that. Maybe ... maybe there is another way for me to learn?”
“Don’t,” Draki warned.
I ignored his warning. I saw no threat in anything around me, and I didn’t understand why he was acting like it was such a bad thing. I felt unnerved but not in danger. Besides, she didn’t know about our deal, and I was sure that she wasn’t going to find out about it any time soon.
Ivy turned toward me and stared off into the far end of the room as she contemplated something. “Are you sure you don’t need more rest?”
“Yes,” I stated. “I just need to learn at my own pace.”
“I suppose that is a good suggestion. Hmmm, I wonder ...” She walked over to the bookshelf and felt along the bindings of the books as she searched. “It’s harder for me to find some things without my special writing to aid me. Can you come tell me what book I’m pointing to?”
I got up and went to her. Once there, I craned my head and read the gold lettering on the black, leather-bound book aloud, “The Holy Bible.”
She faced me with a grand smile. “You read, Sia?”
“I can. My mom, dad, and meemaw taught me. We had a pretty good school at the place where I grew up too.”
Ivy nodded approvingly. “Good. Many villages out in the Wastes aren’t as lucky.” She drew the book from its place on the shelf. “This,” she started as she felt around for my hand. After finding it, she raised it palm up, put the book in my grasp, and then gently brushed her fingers over the front cover. “This is the best place for us to start. If you have any questions, I am here to answer them.”
For the next several hours, I read the Holy Bible. The more I did, the more fascinated I became. Angels were explained, demons, spirits, creation, prophets, God, and His son, Jesus. For days this cycle continued. I saw less and less of Draki, and I saw more and more of Ivy. Oftentimes, the two of us would go on and on about different stories and passages. We would even meet up with Elijah and talk more over dinner together. There was so much to take in. I read the scriptures daily. Ivy even let me take the book back to the inn with me. Faith had become a newfound fire within me and it burned with the desire to learn.
I was told that in a week, I would be baptized after I confirmed my faith and announced my love and acceptance for God and the one called Jesus. Through it all, though, there were endless revelations and life lessons that I understood now more than I ever had. I got lost in a sea of knowledge, and I started to feel accepted. Only, there was the occasional dark whisper that haunted me from Draki.
You’re not good enough.
You’re not strong enough to handle the Hours of Whispered Prayers.
God won’t love you, not after what you’ve done.
You’ve shed too much blood.
You’ve told too many lies.
You’re too far gone to be forgiven.
Don’t forget that you belong to ME!
“Sia?”
I blinked out of my trance and looked across the table to the two very concerned friends staring back at me. It had been a long week, and we were all out for a celebratory dinner together. Ivy had become such a close friend and she felt more like family to us, to me.
“Are you all right?” Ivy asked.
Elijah caught my attention, and I knew he was thinking of asking the same thing.
I nodded to him and replied to Ivy with, “Yeah. I just get lost in thought sometimes. It’s a lot to take in, but everything makes a lot more sense to me now. I just ...”
“You just what?” Ivy urged me to finish.
“I just wish I would have known all of this sooner,” I admitted.
“You found out now. There is no need to dwell on the past,” she said with a soft smile.
Elijah found my hand and gave it a light squeeze. I smiled, but those words that Draki had spoken shook me more than I cared to admit. He was right ... I didn’t deserve God’s love. Not with what I had done, and not with what I still had left to do. If I faltered in delivering on my end of the bargain, Draki would make sure everyone I knew and loved would suffer. There was no escaping that fate of mine. I at least wanted to ignore it for a little while longer.
“You’ll be baptized tomorrow before you will head off to the inner wall to conduct your prayer session,” Ivy reminded me.
I pushed the crumbs left over from my meal around on my plate while feeling my stomach turn in knots. “I can’t wait,” I lied.
I had wanted that day to feel special. I wanted it to feel like I was finally free from everything that weighed me down. I wanted it to break the chains that were tied to me and Draki, but I felt like I was going to suffer a lot more before I would ever know what it was like to be free.
“Come on, Sia. You have a big day tomorrow,” Elijah said.
I half-smiled. “So do you, Elijah. You are getting baptized before the Hours of Whispered Prayers tomorrow too.”
“Good to know that we can do that together,” he replied with a grin.
Ivy giggled. “It seems that you two need to head off for the night. I need to head out as well. I don’t like to stay out too late recently.”
“Oh, why is that?” I asked.
She shook her head with her brows knit in deep thought. “I can’t quite explain it. When I feel alone and it’s late at night, anxiety rises up in me, and I feel like I’m being watched or followed. I feel a weight on my feet and like I’m being spiritually dragged down. Sometimes I even hear whispers.”
“That sounds terrifying,” Elijah mumbled.
Ivy waved the thought away. “It’s nothing compared to what you two had to deal with out in the Wastes, I’m sure.”
