White Lies: A gripping psychological thriller with an absolutely brilliant twist, page 23
‘You don’t get to speak to me like that, ever, d’you hear?’ Bits of white spit had gathered in the corners of his mouth. He gave Jonny one last shove then released him.
Jonny bolted from the room, and I went after him, running up the stairs as fast as I could to his bedroom.
I didn’t know how to process what I’d just seen. I was so shocked. Is it possible to humiliate your son more than doing that in front of his girlfriend? I don’t think so. It was brutal.
I pushed open the door to Jonny’s room and went in. Jonny was pacing up and down, his eyes were full of tears.
‘I should have hit him,’ he said. ‘I should have hit the bastard.’
‘I’m so sorry I didn’t say anything.’ I was stunned. I knew Gary had always been tough on Jonny, that they rubbed each other up the wrong way, but I’d never seen him force Jonny down like that before.
‘I hate him. My whole life, he couldn’t have made me more aware of how disappointed he is – but at the same time, he’s jealous of me. I can’t help being younger than him. I can’t help being ill. I hate him so much. He’s nothing but a bully – that’s how he’s got to where he is today. He stamps on people like they’re insects and smiles at everyone else while he does it.’ He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his iPhone, tapping in his passcode and holding it up to his ear.
‘Who are you phoning?’
‘Ol. To see if I can go and stay at his for a bit.’
‘Don’t be daft,’ said a voice behind me. ‘You’re not going anywhere.’
I jumped and turned to see Christy standing there holding a plate of mains, looking shocked. I moved out of the way awkwardly and sat down on the bed, but she didn’t even look at me.
‘Put your phone down. You need to eat something. You only had a few bites of starter.’
‘I don’t bloody want it, Mum!’ Jonny exclaimed. ‘Stop trying to control me. I’ll eat when I want to eat!’
She stood her ground. ‘Hang up, please. We need to talk, Jonathan.’ She took a step back, holding the door open with her free hand.
‘I’ve got nothing to say to him.’
‘Your dad’s downstairs. I want to talk to you. Now.’
‘For fuck’s sake!’ Jonny exclaimed, throwing the phone on the bed and pushing past her into the hall.
She let the door drop closed, and from the mumbling I could hear, they were obviously having ‘words’.
I glanced across at his iPhone and picked it up. It was still unlocked, and I nosily clicked on photos looking to see what ones he had of me. There weren’t that many full stop, seeing as he’d not had his new phone for long. I quickly scrolled through the thumbnail shots and, in among the selfies, I found several identical pictures of me asleep in bed, my hair spread out over a pillow, face to one side. Smiling, I clicked on one of them to get a better look – but as it upsized, I realised it wasn’t me. It was her. Again. Her at the window, now on his phone… I felt the sick actually come up into my mouth.
I stared at the image hard: she had some white sheet tucked round her, but her shoulders were bare and all tanned. I peered closer – it was natural. You can’t fake colour like that. She was abroad, in a hotel room, and I was looking at a post-sex picture. No question. I swallowed. He’d only kept it to prove they had slept together, hadn’t he?
The voices were starting to rise on the other side of the door; I hesitated, but looked some more. As I studied it, I realised she was out of it. Like, practically comatose, and the harder I focused, the more… I don’t know – creepy? – it became. The only time I’ve ever taken pictures of people sleeping is when they’ve got their mouth wide open and they’re dribbling, or something funny. There was nothing LOL about this picture. She looked almost dead. I threw the phone back down on the bed feeling dizzy with shock and jealousy.
Seconds later, the door flung open and Jonny burst back in. ‘How many times? I don’t want the food!’
Christy was still standing there behind him, holding it.
‘Please, Mum,’ he begged. ‘Just take it away.’
Christy didn’t say anything, just finally turned and did as he asked.
I stood up, moving over to him so I could take his hand, but he shook me off.
‘Can you just go, please?’ I realised he was crying. ‘I’m OK, but I want you to leave. I don’t want you to be here while this is all happening, and I don’t want you to see me like this.’
I didn’t want to force him to let me stay. I moved to the door. ‘Come and sleep at mine tonight, if you want?’ I said suddenly. ‘For as long as you want – you could move in with us if you like? Mum wouldn’t mind.’
‘Thanks,’ he said, not able to meet my eye, as he furiously wiped his own. ‘I’ll message you later.’
‘Your dad shouldn’t have done that, Jonny. He should be supporting you.’
Jonny snorted bitterly. ‘You’d think, wouldn’t you?’
‘You’re not a bad person.’
He lifted his head up quickly but, as he stared right at me, his eyes went all wide. ‘Shit,’ he whispered. ‘You’re right. I’m just like him. I didn’t stop myself either.’
I was confused. Stop himself doing what?
He’d started staring into space. ‘Please, Cherry, just go.’
But I kept seeing the photo in my head, so I carried on. ‘People do dumb things, but that doesn’t make you a bad person. Whatever it is, you can tell me, Jonny.’
He focused right back on me again. It was like he was looking into my soul or something. ‘You’d hate me if you knew what I’ve let happen.’
I swallowed. I wouldn’t, would I? I shook my head. ‘Promise.’
But he must have seen I was scared, because I watched him shut back down again. I had messed it up.
‘There’s nothing to tell.’ He shrugged blankly. ‘Forget I said anything. I’m a state tonight. It’s better if you all just leave me the fuck alone, to be honest.’
I gave up and reached for the door. ‘I love you.’
‘What can I say?’ He looked at me desperately and our ritual didn’t seem so cute any more.
‘Say you love me,’ I whispered.
‘You know I do.’ His voice was toneless.
I can’t lie, I kind of wanted to go – the atmosphere was beyond toxic, and I needed to start getting ready for Alice’s, but I should have stayed. I think for the rest of my life, I will see him pushed up against that wall and know that’s what it looks like when you break someone who ought to be able to trust you – and you damage their sense of self so badly they won’t ever be able to recover.
I ran downstairs and was putting my shoes on in the hall when I looked up to see Gary through the gap of the door, sitting in his study. I straightened up quickly to leave, but the movement caught his eye. He got to his feet, came to the doorway and leant on the frame as I picked up my bag. I tensed and waited as he looked at me.
‘I’m sorry about what happened at dinner, sweetheart.’ He tried a smile, but I could tell he was still angry. ‘I was upset. Christy always says I handle things badly.’
I looked around for Jonny’s mum, but she was nowhere to be seen. It was just the two of us.
‘I’m just trying to look out for Jonny,’ Gary continued. ‘Whatever he thinks. I don’t always show it right, but what that woman has done to my son really offends me.’
That, I understood. ‘I know where she lives,’ I blurted, and Gary’s smile faded as he straightened up. ‘That doctor, I mean. And her husband. Obviously.’
Gary’s gaze darted up the empty hall, then back to me. ‘Go on, babe. I’m listening,’ he said softly.
* * *
Once I was back at home getting ready, I wished I hadn’t told Gary anything, although a part of me liked the idea of him storming round there and giving them what for. She definitely deserved it – but then a text from Jonny pinged through which made me feel instantly better. Until I read it.
Still at home. Don’t worry about me. Probably come over later to Alice’s but I’ll call first. Cheers.
Cheers? I sat down on my bed and tried not to cry again. We were so over. I’d lost him. I wasn’t sorry at all then that I’d told Gary how to find her.
I called Jonny again later to see what he’d decided about coming out, but he didn’t pick up, so at about quarter to eight I drove back over to his house on my way to the party. I couldn’t help myself. I needed to see him again and was prepared to use any excuse. I was only a couple of minutes away when another text pinged in from him. I pulled over quickly. It said he’d decided to stay at home and would catch up with me in the morning.
He wanted to stay at home after what had happened when he’d been so desperate to leave he’d been phoning Ol? What?
I paused and sent him the kissing, heart and boy and girl holding hands emoji. Then I waited in the dark, just sat in the driver’s seat going nowhere, for him to send something back. He always texted back.
But nothing happened.
He’d gone.
18
Rob
I began to pick up speed as I neared the house again, going for the sprint finish. My lungs were about to explode, I could feel every muscle, sinew and tendon straining to the max as the lactic acid build up began to take over… and I couldn’t do it. Hitting the wall, I gave up and stopped, panting heavily, hands resting on the front of my burning thighs and clouds of breath surrounding me. Bloody kids. I couldn’t sleep past seven a.m. any more but was too out of shape to maximise the gold-dust opportunity of a Saturday morning run. The paradox of parenthood had struck again.
I started to walk the last bit, chest still heaving as I breathed the mushroomy dampness in the air and glanced at raindrops clinging to browning leaves. I wiped the sweat from my face and enjoyed the stillness of the quiet woods – but then the birds began to scatter in the trees above, flying away, chattering anxiously as I heard the distant wail of sirens approaching from behind me. I glanced over my shoulder and stepped on to the verge as not one, but three police cars and an ambulance, lights flashing, shot past so fast I was covered in a fine mist of wet spray from the road and bits of grit and twig. I blinked and wiped my eyes in confusion, as it dawned on me that they were, of course, heading in the direction of our house.
Alex.
My panic was as physical as the sensation of falling just before sleep, and my body jolted into action. I started to run, fire tearing through my muscles instantly, but this time I didn’t stop. I should have checked her before I left. Why didn’t I do that? She’d told me she was desperate, and I left her to take sleeping pills, alone. Was I mad? Was I fucking MAD?
‘No!’ I gasped desperately, rounding the corner expecting to see the cars surrounding the cottage, the police breaking in – but there it was, just as I’d left it forty minutes earlier. No sign of any activity at all. I hurtled to the gate and shoved it open, before fumbling with my keys in the door and crashing up the stairs. I flung open the door to our bedroom, to see her lying on her side, still under the duvet, looking at her phone.
‘You’re all right!’ I exclaimed as the door smacked into the wardrobe. ‘Oh, thank God.’
She lifted her head up. ‘What on earth’s the matter? You look like you’re about to have a heart attack.’ She looked at my feet. ‘You’re also treading mud everywhere.’
I glanced down in confusion. She was right.
‘Sorry,’ I said automatically. ‘I thought you were—’ I was forced to stop and bend over to rest my hands on my thighs. I literally couldn’t catch my breath and thought I was about to be sick, or collapse. Maybe she was right and I was having a heart attack.
‘You thought I was what?’
‘I don’t even know really.’ I straightened up as I tried to calm down. ‘I was just – I saw three police cars and an ambulance go past in this direction, lights blaring. I was coming back from a run. I just – panicked.’
‘You thought I’d done something silly?’
‘Yes – no… I don’t know!’
‘I would never do that to you and the girls. Ever.’ She sat up properly, put her phone down on the mattress, and for the first time since it had all happened, she smiled properly at me. ‘I actually feel great. I slept and it was amazing. I took the pill, closed my eyes and thought “Well this is rubbish, nothing’s happening” opened them again and it was ten hours later!’
‘Wow!’ I said weakly, starting to take off my trainers. She was right – I’d made a right mess everywhere. ‘That’s impressive.’
‘Yes – and also very scary,’ she said. ‘You can see how people get addicted.’ She rolled over, sat up, and the open envelope tumbled out of a duvet crease. It was empty.
‘Alex, how many of those did you take last night?’ I stared at it.
‘Just one, honestly – stop worrying. I’ve left another for tonight, but I flushed the other two down the loo when I woke up. It was amazing to just pass out like that, but genuinely very unnerving, plus I’ve got this horrible metallic taste in my mouth that feels like I’m chewing on filings every time I so much as take a sip of water. I don’t want to take them again after this evening, and I definitely don’t want the girls finding them by mistake and popping one, given they’re just loose. Last night and tonight will be enough to reset me, I’m sure. I feel much better already, actually.’
She did look considerably more relaxed, but otherwise still pretty ropey. I took a deep breath again and smiled at her, determined to hold on to the positives. She’d slept all the night through.
‘That’s great. I’ll go and have a quick shower, then do you want something to eat?’
She threw back the cover. ‘It’s OK, I’ll make something for you. And then I thought maybe I could come with you to get the girls if that’s all right?’
I stared at her. She appeared to have more energy than she’d had for days. ‘Of course. Mum and Dad would love to see you.’
She smiled. ‘Let’s go after breakfast then. We better check the roads, I guess, if there’s been a big accident. We might have to go the back way. They really need to do something about how fast people come up that hill when traffic is trying to turn onto it from Bunny Lane.’
‘They do,’ I agreed. ‘You really do seem much brighter today, Al. That’s great.’
She hesitated. ‘I feel calmer really, not so overwhelmed and desperate. Nothing’s changed, obviously – but it’s so much harder to cope with things rationally when you’re severely sleep deprived too. And I’ve been thinking… the most important thing to me is making sure that Maisie and Tilly aren’t affected by any of this. They need to see me coping normally and, from now on, that’s what they’re going to get.’
I scratched my head. ‘But you were doing that anyway.’
‘I mean taking them to school, going out at weekends as a family. Not allowing myself to be distracted by his social media stuff. I refuse to let him ruin every single part of my life until this is resolved and everyone realises he has, in fact, been lying from the word go.’
She sounded determined – and I felt encouraged. Optimistic, even.
‘Sounds great to me.’
‘Good.’ She hesitated. ‘Listen, on the subject of him, something happened last night while you were at your mum’s. Gary Day came over.’
I froze. ‘What? Here?’
‘Yes. Just after seven. David was just leaving and—’
‘Sorry, wait—’ I couldn’t keep up. ‘What was David doing here again?’
‘He’d called in to pick up his mobile phone; he left it in the downstairs loo by mistake when he came at lunchtime,’ she explained patiently. ‘Thank God he did, otherwise I’d have been here on my own when Day rocked up.’
‘So what happened?’
‘I’d lost the bloody pills upstairs, David came up to help me look – worried that I was making it up and going to ask him for more, I expect – we found them, came back downstairs and the door went. I opened it and Gary was just standing there.’
‘You were upstairs with David?’ I tried to keep my voice calm and even.
She gave me a look. ‘Don’t. That’s exactly what Gary Day said. I opened the door, David was stood next to me – and he said: “well this is cosy. Hubby not in then, I take it?”’
I clenched my jaw but said nothing.
‘He’s so disgusting,’ Alex said vehemently. ‘I replied no, you weren’t in and would he mind explaining what he thought he was doing, coming to our house? He told me it was very simple. If either you or me go near his son again, he won’t be reporting us to anyone else, he’ll be sorting us out himself. He was calm – not ranty and out of control like he was in the surgery that morning – which was actually more unnerving, somehow.’ She shuddered. ‘Anyway, then David said: “just so we’re clear, you’re happy that I’ve just witnessed you say that?” To which Day replied – and I quote – “I couldn’t give a flying fuck”. He wished us a “happy night in” and left. David stayed for another half an hour after that. He offered to stay longer but I said you’d be back for nine. I took the sleeping pill, he left and I went to bed.’
‘You took a sleeping pill, in the house, on your own, when Gary Day had turned up out of the blue and had a go at you?’ I was incredulous.
She frowned, confused. ‘It wasn’t pleasant, but… I wasn’t afraid. You had been to his son’s school, it wasn’t completely unjustified.’ She shrugged helplessly.
‘I said sorry for that.’
‘Yes, I know. What I mean is, I can see it from his point of view, that’s all. I’d have reported you to the police, to be honest, so…’ She shrugged, looking tired again. ‘Anyway, I just thought you ought to know.’
‘Well of course I should know—’ I began, but she was already looking at the clock.
‘We should get a move on. You put the kettle on, I’ll be right down.’
