White Lies: A gripping psychological thriller with an absolutely brilliant twist, page 20
David stood up. ‘I better get back.’ He put his tea down again. ‘Sorry, Rob, I haven’t finished it. Occupational hazard I’m afraid.’ He patted his jacket. ‘Have I got everything? Keys? Where’s my phone?’ He drew it out of his inside pocket ‘Ah! Got it. I’d lose my head if it wasn’t screwed on.’ He held onto it and picked up his bag too.
‘I’m so sorry,’ Alex said instantly. ‘You must be swamped at the moment with doing everything yourself.’
‘I’m not really. Cleo’s been magnificent. We’ll cope until you’re back. Because you will be back. We miss you though.’ He smiled, and Alex’s eyes filled with tears again.
‘Sorry,’ she whispered. ‘Just ignore me. It’s just because you’re being nice, that’s all. I’ll be fine.’
‘I know you will,’ he said, as, to my surprise, he leant down and kissed her briefly on the cheek. ‘Bye, bye, love. Take care and shout if I can do anything else.’
Coming from him, in his well-spoken, authoritative voice, the use of the word ‘love’ actually sounded elegantly old-fashioned and rather beautiful in its kind sincerity. Fatherly, almost. I let my head drop quietly and felt glad I’d made him the fresh cup of tea after all. Thank goodness she knew someone else was behind her – it wasn’t just me.
‘Goodbye, Rob. Don’t worry about coming down, I can see myself out. I will just pop to your loo on the way out, though, if that’s OK?’
‘Of course,’ I said and, once he’d left, sat down on the end of the bed where he’d been. ‘That was good of him. Are they what you need?’ I nodded at the pills.
‘Yes, they’ll be great.’ She put her finger to her lips and waited until we heard footsteps downstairs, David call cheerily: ‘Bye, both!’, then the click of the front door shutting.
Alex sighed deeply, leaning back on her pillows again. ‘I’m exhausted. It sounds ridiculous but it’s completely taken it out of me having to shower and get dressed to make it look like I’m coping and not falling apart at the seams. Pathetic, isn’t it?’
I felt a little better still to hear that’s why she’d done it, not to look good for him. ‘Not at all. You ARE coping. And you’ll be even better after a night’s sleep.’ I pointed at the little envelope lying on the duvet and came over to sit on the bed next to her, on my side. I put my left arm round her and she leant on me. I could tell she’d closed her eyes without even needing to look down at her. I let her just sit peacefully for a moment, then said tentatively ‘Al, will you promise me you won’t go to the Days’ house, or try to contact Jonathan to ask him to change his mind, because he’s not going to. You do know that, don’t you?’
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘But I felt like I had to try. Exhaust every opportunity. Like I said, I was desperate. Not desperate to see him.’ She sat up quickly and urgently looked up at me. ‘Oh God, you do realise that, don’t you? I wasn’t going to try and see him because I AM obsessed with him, like he keeps saying. I really did just want to beg him to walk away from this. But I think he’s in too deep now, he’s got too much to lose. I don’t know what I was thinking really.’ She sank back down again.
I hesitated again. ‘When did you go?’
‘Last week. When you went to the shops before picking up the girls.’
‘On Thursday? How did you know he was going to be at home then? Wouldn’t he have been at school too?’
There was a moment of silence.
‘I didn’t know for sure. I just hoped he would be. If he wasn’t, I was going to wait until he got back. I just didn’t want his parents to be there as well. I realised pretty much straight away how stupid it was though, how he’d twist it to everyone else that I’d gone to the house, and I pulled over when I began to panic about how close I’d come to making such a huge mistake.’
‘OK.’ I moved us on quickly before she asked me again if I believed her and began to disappear down another rabbit hole of doubt. ‘Seeing as you’re dressed, why don’t you come downstairs? I’ll light the fire and put on a movie for you. You still haven’t eaten anything and you really do need to.’
She rested her head lightly on me again. ‘Thank you.’
I kissed her hair. ‘I need to pop out in a minute to the shops before I get the girls. Will you be all right? You won’t jump in the car straight away, go off and do something completely mental?’
She snorted sadly. ‘No, I won’t. I promise.’
* * *
I climbed in the car and thought hard, for about thirty seconds, made my decision – and set off.
I’d worked out easily – from one of the many, many Instagram shots of his that I’d looked at over the previous two weeks – which school he went to from the tie he was wearing in one of the pictures. It was a pretty smart private one – surprisingly, given how Alex had described his parents to me – but then perhaps they wanted opportunities for their son they hadn’t had themselves.
I parked on the road outside and walked in through the wide gates into the car park and up to the ‘gatehouse reception’. A friendly looking, middle-aged woman came to the door when I rang the bell and looked at me enquiringly.
‘Hello, I’m sorry to disturb you, but I’ve come to collect Jonathan Day’s car for him? He phoned to let us know it had broken down and needed recovery from this address, but I can’t reach him on his mobile now? It seems to be turned off.’
‘Hmmm,’ she said disapprovingly. ‘That’ll be because he ought to be in class. Hang on a moment, and I’ll find out where he is.’ She looked me briefly up and down. ‘Which garage did you say you were from?’
‘Kemptons,’ I said, out of absolutely nowhere, then added, ‘I’m just doing this to help out his dad, Gary. He’s a mate.’
‘I see. Would you like to take a seat?’
‘Actually, I’ll wait outside if that’s OK, I’ve got a few calls to make.’ I held up my phone, as if that made me the very epitome of a busy garage manager and not, in fact, a marketing account manager, very probably going to lose his job for pretending to work at home when he blatantly wasn’t.
I made my way back out into the overcast afternoon, checking the time on my phone. I genuinely did need to get something for tea before picking up the girls.
I waited for another five minutes, leaning against the gate pillar, and was just starting to panic that, in fact, they’d called the police, who were on their way, and I was about to be arrested, when the main door opened and out he came.
I was momentarily transfixed to see him in real life, striding across the car park towards me, white shirt untucked and billowing, the sleeves rolled-up despite it being chilly, presumably to show off the tattoo on his arm I could just see the bottom of. He was pretty tall but not as good-looking as he looked in the papers, with rather boyish features. He was obviously just extraordinarily photogenic. I straightened up as he approached me, frowning.
‘Wotcha mate,’ I said smiling. Wotcha? And ‘mate’? I wasn’t in an episode of Grange Hill, for God’s sake. I tried to calm down as he stopped about two feet away in front of me, and gave me a bland, but wary social smile.
‘Hey. Mrs Hornsby said Dad has sent you to pick up my car?’ He scratched his head. ‘I’ve just tried him but, as usual, he isn’t picking up. Sorry, but I don’t know anything about this. What’s wrong with it, and who are you?’
The last question managed to be both slightly dismissive and condescending. It was quite hard to remember he was only eighteen.
I held my hands wide in generous mock surrender. ‘You’ve got me. I haven’t come to get your car, and I don’t know your dad.’
‘I thought as much, seeing as I got a lift in with my girlfriend this morning, and my car’s on the drive at home.’ He put his hands in his pockets and chewed his lip thoughtfully. ‘So, go on then. Who are you really?’
He’d waited to catch me out? The arrogant little toad.
‘I’m from the Daily Mail. I wondered if you might—’
He laughed, spun round on the spot and started walking back to the school. ‘Come on “mate”!’ he called over his shoulder. ‘You’re going to have to do better than that.’
‘You don’t want to hear about the evidence that’s come to light which suggests you’ve made up your story completely?’
He stopped, turned round again, hands still in pockets and stared at me. ‘You’re not from the Mail. I know that partly because my main contact there is called Sadie, and she’s a lot more attractive than you, but mostly because I know exactly who you are. You’re Alex’s husband, aren’t you?’
My muscles tensed with anxiety, fight or flight beginning to kick in, and as I stood there, my hand started to fold into a tight fist.
I saw his gaze flicker to it, and he froze. I actually saw his body go rigid.
‘That’s how the big boys like you solve things, isn’t it?’ he said. ‘Well, no problem. Go for your life. A black eye will look great with a filter; proper vintage fight club. I might even take my shirt off before I post the pic. Alex will like that.’
I rushed right over to him, I couldn’t help it, but although his eyes widened with fright, he just stood there, shaking. He didn’t lift a hand to defend himself, and he didn’t try and escape either. I got so close up into his face I could feel the heat of his body and smell his florid aftershave; it made me feel nauseous. I have never wanted to hurt anyone so much in my entire life. I wanted to burn the world around him, leave him standing on the last scrap of space and have him beg me for mercy so he knew how desperation felt.
‘Do not talk to me about my wife.’ I was furious.
‘Are you going to push me around now?’ he blurted. ‘Threaten me unless I retract everything? Abuse me just a little bit more? Go on then. Do you know how I recognised you when we’ve never met? From the photos in your sitting room. Alex and I had sex there when you and your daughters went to stay with your parents that weekend.’
Ironically, it was that mention of Maisie and Tilly that saved me. I stepped back instantly, realising what it would do to them if I was arrested right there and then for GBH. Alex wouldn’t cope, she was barely functioning as it was. I couldn’t deprive my children of two parents. I had made an epic miscalculation.
‘I don’t believe you,’ I said, my voice shaking. ‘Alex was at home on her own that weekend, that’s true. But I bet all you did was come round, hide in the dark and peer in through the windows at her without her realising, like the dirty little perv you are. Do you know what I think, Jonathan? I think you were obsessed with my wife from the second you met her when she looked after you – but that’s what she’s paid to do. She doesn’t care about you, you’re nothing to her. She didn’t even remember who you were.’ Jonathan flinched, like I actually had hit him, and I realised I was bang on the money. He really did have a thing for Alex.
‘As for “recognising” me,’ I continued ‘there are plenty of pictures of me online. I’m on LinkedIn. It would take you five seconds to find out what I look like. I’m flattered that you care enough to have bothered, though.’
Day hesitated, then spat on the ground at my feet. ‘Fuck you.’ He turned round and began to walk away, only to stop again and call back over his shoulder. ‘That’s what she’s told you, and what you want to believe. I don’t blame you for that, but it doesn’t change the truth. For the record, I only care about what she’s done to me. I genuinely couldn’t give a shit about your wife.’
‘Liar!’
He glanced back at me and shrugged. ‘Think what you like. I also knew it was you the second I walked out and saw your car parked on the street, by the way.’ He nodded at the bumper of the BMW, just visible. ‘I’ve been in that car a lot. If you’re going to do this sort of thing, you need to get a fuckload better at it. Fast. Goodbye.’
He turned and ambled off. My moment of ‘victory’ had already slipped away. I’d achieved nothing.
‘I’ll pay you!’ I shouted after him desperately. ‘I’ll pay you to withdraw the complaint and leave her alone. She doesn’t deserve this. She’s a good person.’
‘I don’t need it!’ He laughed. ‘I’m going…’ he called out teasingly, and I felt the rage whirling up inside me all over again at that, as he made it all into a joke while pausing to briefly punch a code into a security keypad. I almost ran up behind him, saw myself grabbing around his neck and dragging him backwards, wrenching him from left to right, choking the humour out of him. But the heavy door swung open, he disappeared back into the building and it slammed shut again – leaving me breathing heavily and blinded with frustrated rage, just standing alone in the car park, like the fool I was.
* * *
‘Do you know how guilty that makes me sound? You’ll pay him to withdraw the allegation? What were you thinking?’ Alex had her hands on the side of her head, fingers threaded through her hair, as she stared at me in disbelief from the bed. ‘I can’t believe this can be happening. After the way you and David looked at me earlier when I said I’d almost driven over to his house. You made me promise not to go near him again, and then you go out the very same afternoon to his school to threaten him?’ She picked up a magazine next to her and flung it across the room so suddenly I jumped. ‘What if they’ve got security cameras filming the car park? What if he’s audio-recorded you on his phone without you realising? You’ve just GIVEN him his next burst of publicity! You stupid idiot!’
‘All right, calm down.’ I put my hands up. ‘I just—’
‘Calm down?’ She raised her voice; her eyes were wild and unblinking as she glared at me. She looked deranged with anger.
‘I get that I’ve fucked up, but please, shhh!’ I begged. ‘The girls are downstairs watching Paw Patrol, I don’t want them to hear you like this.’
‘Then don’t do irredeemably insane things like this that make me want to kill you.’ She actually shook both her fists at me. She’d gone white. ‘I’m so angry!’ she gasped in disbelief.
I was completely taken aback by her reaction. ‘I was trying to help. I wanted to go there and ask him to reconsider, instead of you doing it,’ I said quietly, ‘so that you’d know you HAD tried everything, without actually placing yourself at risk. I just did it without thinking.’
‘Isn’t that exactly what got us into this mess in the first place?’ she shot back immediately. ‘You acting without thinking?’
Wow. I just stood there, not sure what to say to that, as she collapsed back onto the pillow again, exhausted.
‘I think David might have had a good idea earlier – I’ll take the kids to Mum’s tonight if that’s OK? I’ve already cancelled the agency girl coming,’ I said after a moment’s silence. ‘You’ve had a really difficult day, I get that. You’re overwhelmed with stress, you’ve literally not slept in God knows how long, and tonight’s the first night you’re going to take a sleeping pill. Like he said, let’s try and make this a success and clear the decks so you haven’t got any little voices calling out in the night and disturbing you.’ Plus, I thought privately, your behaviour today has been at best unpredictable, and you’re really starting to scare me.
I didn’t want Maisie and Tilly around Alex when she was like this. She had done so well at keeping things as normal as possible for them, but it was clear she had reached a tipping point, needed space to rest, and the opportunity to pull herself back from the edge. ‘I’ll give them tea, pack them a little bag, drive them over and come straight back. Mum would love it – she’s already offered a million times. I’ll go back and get them tomorrow, after you’ve rested.’
Alex was staring out of the window. ‘It might be best.’ Her voice was flat again, as if she’d simply given up. ‘At the very least they’re sensing our tension, and it’s not fair to them. They’ve done nothing wrong.’
‘Agreed. Well, that’s settled then. I’ll go and call Mum.’ I felt relieved and turned to leave the room, as she said suddenly: ‘I was serious earlier. I want to kill him, Rob. My daughters are going to think the very worst of me forever. This will change the way they feel about me for the rest of their lives, and it is not fair. If I could do it and not get caught, I would.’ She looked at me, frightened. ‘And I’m a doctor. I’m supposed to protect life.’ She held out a hand to me desperately. ‘What is happening to me?’
‘You are very, very tired. You are suffering from extreme stress.’ I repeated it again, went straight over, took her hand and sat down on the bed in front of her. ‘These are normal feelings. I wanted to kill him earlier too. He said some stuff about you that…’
She tensed. ‘What sort of stuff?’
I hesitated. ‘That he was going to post a picture with his shirt off, because he knew you’d like it.’
She looked disgusted and shuddered.
‘I honestly think this is all about his feelings for you. He’s used to getting what he wants. I could see that.’
‘You might be right.’ She shifted uncomfortably. ‘I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t crossed my mind. I’m sorry he said things to deliberately upset you. Sometimes I think it can be harder to watch someone you love suffer than go through it yourself.’
‘It’s wasn’t great, no…’ I agreed, thinking for a moment about Jonathan stood in front of me, amused, as he waited for me to hang myself and admit, like a total amateur, I wasn’t who I’d pretended to be.
‘You do still love me, Rob… don’t you?’
‘Of course I do. He has no remorse about what he’s done at all, you know,’ I said suddenly. ‘It was… quite an eye-opener for me. He’s not going to have any problem lying to a tribunal if there’s a hearing.’
‘Which there will be,’ she said. ‘He’ll love that. It will offer no end of credibility to his nasty little book. Do you think we could get away with it?’ She turned her head back, looked at me and smiled sadly.
