Every Love, page 9
Nate’s phone buzzes and he looks at it. Then places it facedown on the table. “Well, I think you need to plan a trip home. You really have to.”
“You sound just the same as my mom.”
“It’s the truth,” he says, his phone buzzes again, but this time he doesn’t check it.
“You can get that if you need to,” I tell him.
He smirks at me leaning back, resting his arm along the back of the booth. “It can wait. I’m completely content having a conversation with you.”
We sat and talked for over an hour about everything. Our pasts, the baggage that we carry, and what we both want for the future. I’ve never had a guy listen to me so genuinely, to really want to know who I am. It was amazing to be so comfortable being so open and raw with him. Suddenly, kissing him didn’t seem so crazy after all.
“Dammit, Andrea, I told you, I can’t see you any more.”
“But—”
I cut her off, so frustrated that I want to hang up on her. “No buts. We’re done.”
She’s sobbing into the receiver like we have something serious going on and asks, “Will you at least tell me why?”
“I told you a while ago that we had to stop. You want more than I can give you.”
“No, Nate, I don’t. I’ll leave Ronnie. I just want what we have right now, nothing more.”
“I can’t tell you what to do, but I want you to follow your heart, and if you leave him, please do it for yourself.”
“I am, I promise.”
“Good.”
She sobs harder and I hate that I let it get to the point where she has become so attached to me. I never meant to let things get so out of hand.
Before we get off the phone, I have one more question for her. “Andrea?”
“Yeah?”
“You don’t think he’ll hurt you, do you?”
“No, he hasn’t laid a finger on me in years, you know that. I’m sure he’ll just shrug his shoulders. I don’t mean shit to him any more, Nate.”
“Okay, good luck.”
We hang up and it feels good to at least know she’ll be safe. It’s also comforting to know that she is making this decision for herself. It can’t be because she has some dream of riding off into the sunset with me. I get out of the car at my parents’ house. For the first time in a long time, my dad is home. I feel like work always has him traveling.
“Hey, Dad,” I call to him as he’s out front working on the yard.
“How are you, son?” he asks standing and hugging me.
“I’m good. How are you?”
“I’m great. I took all of next week off from work.”
“No way, that’s great.” This is so long overdue.
“You’re telling me. I spent the morning with your mom. It was so nice to be with her.”
“I just left there myself. I had to share some news with her.”
“What’s that?” he asks.
“I put an offer on another place that’s real close to her. I should know soon if it got accepted.”
“That’s great news. As much as I’m going to miss having you here, I know how much it means to you to have your own place, to build your own life.”
“Thanks, Dad. Listen, I just stopped by to grab some clothes. I have to get to the gym.”
“Sounds good. Are you having dinner with your mom and I tonight?”
“Yeah,” I tell him and go through the front door. Lately, every time I come home it kills me that my mom isn’t here. I wish she were. I’m so used to having her around. Now knowing she’s in a rehab center, for God knows how long, is a hard pill to swallow. But, I suppress the negative thoughts and hold out hope that she will get better.
Quickly, I change my clothes. And get a text from Elania. I’m on the phone with the realtor for the Lands End place, the sellers want another five thousand. Will you give that and possibly pay their closing costs?
Give them whatever they want. I just want the place.
I say goodbye to my dad and make my way across town, checking my phone repeatedly, but still there is no word from Elania. My mind begins to drift, thinking back to our workout. I love how outgoing she is, and that she’s willing to give anything a try. And her smile, and her laugh, and Jesus, her ass. I want to do so much more with her. Especially after that kiss. After lunch yesterday, I’m not really sure where we stand, since we didn’t exactly spell it out. Obviously, she likes me, but I’m not sure I can give her what she needs. My mind is still so damaged from Arion, and I don’t know if I’m ready to put myself out there again. I’d like to think I am.
My phone rings. It’s her and I answer. “Please tell me you have good news.”
“Of course I have good news. Did you ever doubt me?”
“No, of course not,” I laugh.
“Good, well, I just called to say congratulations. You got the house and for only three thousand more.”
“No way, El! Holy shit, that’s awesome! You are such a miracle worker.”
“No, no, no, none of that,” she insists. “It’s all a part of my job and why I do what I do.”
“I totally owe you.”
“Well, I need you to sign some more paperwork. Can I bring it to you?”
“Sure, I’m just heading to the gym.”
“Great, I’ll see you there soon.
I can’t wait to tell my mom, so I call her first. The news almost brings her to tears. She is really happy for me, but I also know that it hurts her too, that she can’t help me in the way she always dreamed of when I’d finally move out. But I hold out hope that she will get to enjoy my new home one day.
Heading into the gym, I look for Amanda, but she’s nowhere to be seen. I check the calendar to see if she’s working today, and sure enough, she’s teaching a class. I need to talk to her about Elania and the kiss.
While I wait for her to finish, I log into the computer system and check the daily sales which look pretty damn good, then I look at the email inbox for the gym. Nothing important there. Checking the time, Amanda should be done with her class soon, and like clockwork, she comes walking into the office.
Her shoulders are slumped and she looks down. “What the fuck’s wrong with you?” I ask.
“I need to get laid.”
“What the fuck?” I ask her, caught off guard by this. That was not what I expected her to say.
She glares at me and I sense she’s serious.
“I don’t even want to know how that works for you. What happened?”
“Savannah’s new girlfriend was just in my class.”
“What happened to her wanting to get back together with you?”
“I don’t know, I guess she found someone else.” Her eyes well with tears, and it kills me to see her this upset. Pulling her close to me, I hug her tightly, as if I can make anything better. I know I can’t, but I at least try.
With my chin atop her hair, I just hold her. Then walks in Elania. My senses awaken seeing her. She’s in a tight blue dress, her hair is up today, and Christ, do I love it. I realize I haven’t even let go of Amanda as her beauty has me immobile.
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” she says a little coolly.
Amanda pulls away and looks at her. “No, you weren’t interrupting.”
“I just…” she trails off uncertainly and hands me the contract.
I can see the pain in her face, and I immediately realize she thinks that there is more going on than there is. Taking the paperwork from her I want to put her at ease, saying, “El, this is Amanda, my best friend, and Amanda, this is Elania.”
Amanda steps to her. “It’s such a pleasure to meet you. Nate has told me so much about you.”
“He has?” she asks, looking at me warily.
I wink at her and she looks back at Amanda, who says, “I don’t want to get in the way, and I have another training session. But Elania, it’s great to finally meet you. I hope to see you around here more.”
As Amanda leaves, I close the gap between Elaina and I. She’s looking up at me with those eyes and those lips. There’s a glint of pain laced in the crease of her brow and I don’t like it. My hand finds her face, gently cradling it as a breath of air escapes her. I lean in, kissing her softly.
Right away, her lips pucker against mine. A soft whine sounds from within her. Jesus, I love how her lips feel connected to mine, how her body feels so close to me. Moving one of my hands down her body, I finally get to feel her every curve, every contour that makes her.
Finally, she slows the kiss, and as much as I hate it, it’s what right. I don’t need to walk out of here with a hard on.
“What was that for?” she asks as I brush her bangs out of her eyes.
“So you know there’s nothing going on between Amanda and I.”
“How does a kiss reassure me of that?”
“I guess it doesn’t, but Amanda…” I stop myself before saying too much.
“You can tell me, Nate.” I look into her eyes and know that she means it. For some reason there is something about her that is making me want to trust her.
“She’s not into guys, if you get my drift.”
She nods her head and I see everything click. “Oh,” she says.
“I told you nothing’s going on with her. But I have to be honest with you – I do want more to go on with us.” Fuck, my own words shock me. What is this chick doing to me? I can’t believe I’m actually considering a relationship. That I’m not panicking even the slightest bit. That my breathing is steady and calm and not one part of me is freaking the fuck out.
She looks away from me, processing what I just said. “What does that mean exactly?”
“I’m not sure myself, but I like how you feel in my arms and how we are when we’re together.”
“I like it too,” she whispers, both relief and tension warring on her face.
“Can we see where things go?” I ask.
“I’m not sure I’m ready. You know what Alex did to me. I can’t get hurt again. It’s still so fresh. So raw.”
“I won’t do what he did to you, I promise. I’ve been through hell myself. I’m not even sure I remember how to be in a relationship, but you make me want to try.”
She pushes me against the wall. “Will you always be honest with me?”
I nod my head and softly kiss her lips.
“Okay, let’s try.”
Right away, my cock gets hard and again her lips find mine. Everything inside of me wants to close and lock the office door, to fuck her right here, but not for our first time…I won’t do that.
Even though I have no plans on fucking her, I can’t stop myself from grinding into her, letting her feel the full force of me. Even through our clothes, it still turns her on.
She holds on to me and we slowly stop kissing, so I move my lips to her neck where I get a very strong aroma of her scent and it drives me insane. Thank God we’re not standing in front of the door. But I know that we risk someone coming in, and sometimes I do need to think with my head. Pulling my lips away from her neck in protest, I look at her through hooded lids.
“Can I see you tonight?”
She nods her head and asks, “What time are you off?” looking at me with those sexy eyes.
Fuck, NOW! “Whenever you are,” I tell her, my steady voice concealing my intense desire to just say “fuck it” and get out of here.
She smiles, weaving her fingers into my hair. “Wanna meet at my place around six?”
“Six?” I grumble in protest.
“Fine, five?”
“Okay, that’s better. I’d say let’s go there now, but I understand that you have work.” Clearly I’m not succeeding at totally playing it cool. My dick is definitely taking over.
“You do, too. Don’t make me feel bad.”
“I know I do. I think I even have an interview for a new trainer in about ten minutes,” I suddenly remember, checking the clock, shaking off my lust-induced haze.
“I’ll text you my address.” She kisses me on the lips and turns to leave.
“Contract!” I blurt out. “I’ll sign it, then walk you out.”
Quickly I sign the papers, sliding them back into the folder and hand it back over to her. Then I grab her hand and watch as she looks down at our intertwined fingers.
With the proudest look on my face that I’ve had in a long time, we head outside. I sense everyone’s eyes on us as we leave, and I don’t give a shit.
The sun is warm and I let my eyes stare at her ass as she walks down the stairs in front of me. “I can’t wait for tonight,” she says, opening the door to her Escalade.
“I know, me either.” And for one last time I indulge in her scent, her lips, and everything that is this amazing woman, who for some reason, likes me.
What in the hell am I going to wear? I’m standing in my closet half naked and I have about a million things to do before Nate gets here. My mind has been a jumbled mess all day. But the truth is, the second his lips touch mine, everything inside of me calms. As much as I want to protect myself from heartache, I trust him. I don’t know why, but being with him washes away every single fear.
My phone rings and I decide on a black dress that’s been staring at me, throwing it on as I dash across my house. It’s him…
I answer and the deep tone of his voice makes me feel very weak and very vulnerable, and very, very horny.
“What’s your favorite food?”
“I don’t have one.”
“Really?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
“Okay, since you prefer wine. Red or white?”
“Both,” I respond, not able to make a decision in this moment to save my life.
He chuckles at my comment. “I knew I should’ve made these decisions myself. I’ll see you soon, El.”
The other end is silent before I know that he’s gone. I shake my head to clear my thoughts and mentally compile my to-do list. I run around my house like a mad woman for the next hour because he’ll be here soon. I feel like I’m getting nothing accomplished.
Then in an instant…it happens. I turn when there is a knock on my door. I exhale deeply, walking to it, running my fingers through my hair as I do. My stomach is a mess. I’m so nervous to have him here that I don’t quite know what to do.
“Another dress,” he says, scanning me up and down with his hungry eyes.
I quirk a smile up at him. “You like?”
“You have no idea. I fucking love it.”
“Good. Come in.”
He steps in and leans down, kissing me chastely on the lips, a swift soft movement of affection. Jesus, he smells good, wildly good. His hands are full, a brown bag in one while the other holds what must be our dinner.
“Are you hungry?”
“Starving,” I tell him, walking us to the kitchen where he sets everything on the countertop. He looks so sexy in a pair of jeans and a white button down shirt. I almost begin to drool looking at him. He’s got me so turned on that…
“You all right?”
“Yeah, why?” I ask confused.
“I asked you which wine you wanted,” he says holding both the red and the white bottles in his hand.
“You choose.”
“What’s up with you all of a sudden not being able to make a decision?”
I glare at him, a tiny bit offended by his words. “I can make a decision just fine.”
“Then which one is it?” he asks kissing my neck. “Red or white.”
I shiver from my head to my toes, before blurting out, “Red.”
“Good, El, I like that side of you. The assertive one that knows what she wants.”
“Don’t worry, it’s still here,” I reassure him, knowing that I have to pull my head out of my ass and find my confidence again. I have to. For some God unknown reason, I’ve let him cloud my thoughts, and it’s taken away from the strong, confident, decisive woman that I am.
“Good. Do you have a wine opener?” he asks.
I hand him one before retrieving two glasses, all the while watching his muscles as he attacks the bottle. With twist after twist after twist, his biceps are ridiculous, and when he’s using them, well…kill me now, because I might faint from the sight.
He catches my eyes and just laughs at me. “You know there’s more to me than my muscles,” he teases.
“Oh, I know, trust me, I know.”
“I haven’t always been this big,” he says.
“Well, I’d assume you weren’t born this way,” I joke.
I shake my head. “When I was held hostage, I weighed close to nothing. I was skin and bones.”
“You mentioned that. I didn’t think that your captors fed you four course meals and let you work out all the time.”
He becomes very serious and I fear that I’ve said something wrong. We were just joking and I…goddamn my big mouth. “Are you okay?” I ask him.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry. I just can’t go back there again. It’s not a happy place, or anywhere that I like to visit.”
“I won’t bring it up again.”
“If you have questions, I always want you to be able to ask, please know that.”
“Not if it’s going to hurt you.”
“Sometimes I just need a minute to get my head around it, that’s all.”
I nod my head and like that although this is hard for him, I can still ask him questions if I need to. It shows that he’s thinking about me too, which was something I felt Alex never did.
He hands me a wine glass, filled to the rim, and says, “To us.”
I like that. “To us,” I repeat and we both swallow a bountiful drink of this delicious wine.
“Want me to show you around?” I ask him.
“Absolutely,” he says and we venture off. My house isn’t huge, but it’s a modest size and I worked my ass off to get it. Thankfully, it all came together during a time in my life when I needed it most. Things with Alex had just fallen apart and this was my saving grace. I needed a move-in ready nest to be my safe place.
“I love your home,” Nate says as we come back to the kitchen.
