Every Love, page 5
I think about living close to her and it does something inside of me. Maybe it’s because all I want right now is to be close to her. To touch her, to feel her, to taste her, and to please her.
“Here we are,” she says interrupting my daydream again.
The valet opens her door and I stall for half a second watching her get out. Christ, I’m such a fucking creep.
“Do you come here often?” she asks me, as we head in. I hold open the door for her.
“Only once, just for drinks.”
“They have the best food, so you’ll love it, I’m sure of it.”
“I’m sure I will,” I respond dryly, suddenly feeling nervous again.
She talks to the hostess then asks me, “Are you okay sitting in the bar?”
I nod my head. Honestly, that’s my preference, seeing as I need a drink or two, just to take the edge off.
The hostess takes us to a high-top table in the middle of the bar, and being a gentlemen, I pull Elania’s chair out for her. I don’t dare try to push it in though, considering how high the table is. She’d looked like a little kid being sat by her parent.
Glancing over the menu, the food does look really good. I decide on a burger and my favorite, a beer. Elania pulls a folder out of her purse and sets it in front of me. “This is what we have scheduled today, but these two listings just popped up on the market, I think we should see them too,” she explains, pointing at the listings as she talks.
I glance over the two new listings then look up at her. “We can see whatever you want…you’re the boss.”
“Nate, this is up to you. You’re the boss.”
Hearing her say those words turns me on. I readjust myself and take a drink of my beer as the waitress sets it down in front of me.
“Can I ask you something?”
I nod my head, watching her delicate hand hold on to her glass of red wine.
“Why are you buying a house? When you don’t seem to care much about the details.”
I exhale and lean back, wondering if I should tell her about my mom. I barely know her, but figure I’d rather be up front now. “I’d like to be close to my mom. She’s having some health issues and needs me right now.”
“Nate, that is very sweet of you.”
“Thanks,” I say, wondering how to change the conversation.
“Have you been in real estate long?” I ask.
“Not too long. But it’s always been my passion, so I’m happy to finally be doing it full-time. What about the gym? Is that what you’ve always wanted to do?”
I smirk at her and love how easy the conversation has been between the two of us so far. I swear she almost melts when I look at her like this. “Nah, not really. I kinda stumbled into it. My buddy needed some financial help, so I agreed to partner with him.”
She smiles again, processing what I’m saying, and I realize how apropos it was to say I stumbled into the gym. Hell, when I agreed to help Nash, I had one leg and was a wreck. Thinking about it, “stumbled” might actually be the perfect way to describe it.
The waitress sets our food down, and I realize then that we both ordered the same thing. “There is no way you are going to eat all of that,” I tease her.
“The hell I won’t,” she says far too loudly.
“Wanna bet?” I ask.
I can see the seriousness in her eyes; she is absolutely going to eat every last bit of it. I shake my head and dunk a few fries in some ketchup, getting ready to sit back and watch the show that Elania is about to put on for me.
Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Her lips are so good. I can’t stop my hips from moving as I knot my fingers tightly into her hair, basking in pleasure. I get lost in her movements and her noises. My hand finds her dress and I clench her cunt, before rubbing vigorously back and forth on her sweet spot. She’s not wearing any panties, and quite frankly, that doesn’t surprise me.
She pulls away and looks up at me. “Can I fuck you?” she asks.
I nod my head and watch her open the center console, pulling out a condom. Such a good girl. Looking around, the parking garage is empty, and thanks to her tinted windows, no one could see in if they wanted to.
She tears the package open with her teeth and I roll the condom on. Then she straddles my lap. Her hot pussy hovers above me as she looks intently into my eyes with need…a need I can fulfill. Waiting for her to move is excruciating.
“Kiss me,” I order, knowing that this will get her body to go. The second our mouths connect, she whimpers, giving in. My cock slides effortlessly inside of her. Taking my hands, I brace her hips. But I don’t move her. I sit back and let her work.
My body is full of so many emotions. From spending the day with Elania and my perpetual half hard dick, to stressing about my mom, to craving only Arion to make it all better…my mind is simply fucked up. Which is how I found myself calling Andrea, which I never do, but I got desperate. I needed her to clear my mind, and now here we are in the parking garage of her work, my Arion fix bouncing on my dick while I’m still replaying things over and over in my head.
Checking the clock, we don’t have long. Closing my eyes, I imagine Arion on top of me and let her move. Her pussy, so warm, and she faintly sounds the way Arion did. Reaching my hand under her dress, I find her tits and squeeze hard, then move to her nipple. She moans in liking. “Yes, Nate, touch me.”
Watching what my cock does to her as she works me by herself moves my body to the edge. Then it hits me, and I let go, bucking my hips under her. The instant I grunt out in pleasure, Andrea screams herself, coming along with me.
Finally I open my eyes to see she is smiling at me, so sexy with her messy hair from my hands playing with it. I laugh a little when I try to tame it. She leans into my touch and says, “Leave it, that way I’ll remember this moment when I look in the mirror.”
Alarm bells go off yet again at her words. Lately she has been getting clingy, saying little things like that, insinuating that we should be together. Don’t get me wrong, she’s amazing and all…but beyond the Arion look-alike bit, she’s just not someone that I am looking to move on with. Hell, I don’t think there is anyone that I want to move on with.
“You gotta get back to work,” I tell her. Typically I call her “babe.” It’s just a habit…I guess…or the more fucked up truth, if I’m gonna be honest with myself, is that it lets me disconnect from her enough to keep her in Arion mode. Jesus, I am such a mess. But now I wonder if it’s led her to think I want more. I wonder about a lot of things, worrying about more things than I should, and sometimes I drive myself crazy with the constant mindfuck and the what-if’s.
As Andrea readjusts herself, I remove the condom and drop it outside of the door. “I liked you calling me,” she says. Another sign this was a mistake.
“I know. But I won’t make a habit of it; I don’t want you getting caught. There’s a reason you haven’t left…”
I trail off because I don’t remember the douchebag’s name.
“Ronnie.”
“Yeah, ’cause you haven’t left him.”
“I would if—”
I cut her off. She knows better than to start with this and if she wants to continue what we have then she needs to stop with all of this talk about us getting together. “Andrea, you know I’m not looking for a relationship right now. I have too much baggage and some really deep shit to handle. So please stop with the insinuations about us, okay?”
She nods her head and there is a little look of crazy written all over her face.
“Take a few days and make sure you can keep your emotions out of it and if so…call me. If not, thank you for everything. You are truly an amazing girl.”
Tears gloss over her eyes and it’s definitely time to leave. Leaning over, I kiss her on the cheek and get out of her car, walking the few steps it takes to reach mine. I get in without looking back and drive off. I don’t want to seem heartless, but I can’t give Andrea what she needs, and if I was with her, it would only be to fill the void in my heart that Arion left.
My phone rings, and it’s Amanda…again. I answer through the hands-free headset. “What’s up?”
“Nathaniel Jeffrey Wilcox, you better have a damn good excuse for not calling me back today.”
I chuckle at her attempt to sound mad. “You want the truth, or should I bullshit you?”
“What the fuck do you think?”
“Calm down, you know that fake ass mean doesn’t work with me.”
“It’s not fake; I’m pissed.”
“Come on, I was just going to call you. I got busy with…well, I got busy—”
She cuts me off, “You were with that skank again, weren’t you?”
“She’s not a skank. What’s your problem with her anyways?”
“I don’t have a problem with her, it’s just…I don’t like cheaters after what I went through with Savannah.”
“I hear ya. Speaking of which, have you heard from her?” I ask getting on the freeway.
“Yeah, she’s been up my ass.”
“Have you seen her?” I ask with irritation laced in my tone.
“Hell no, but she wants to.”
“I’m sure she does. Don’t let her guilt you at all.”
“I won’t. I promise. So how was the realtor?”
I exhale thinking how to handle answering the question.
“Nate, are you there?”
“Yeah, sorry. She was good.”
“Hah,” she laughs. “That’s it? She was ‘good’?”
I think about it again. Amanda is my best friend, she’s one of the only people in this world that I trust. If I’m going to tell anyone about today, it’s her. How can I say this without sounding like a creep?
“Just tell me already.”
“Okay. Being around Elania had my dick at half-mast all day, and the thoughts that crossed my mind as we looked at houses were not…gentlemanly.”
“Meaning?”
“I wanted to fuck her every which way, in every single room of every house that we saw. She’s un-fucking-believable.”
She chokes on something and begins to cough. “I’m sorry,” she says through a strangled gasp. “Give me a minute.”
“Please don’t say something smart,” I warn her.
“I won’t. I’m just processing this and wondering why you didn’t just fuck her and instead fucked that skank.”
“I don’t know. Elania’s not that kind of girl. She deserves more, and quite frankly, if I get to fuck her, I want it to be more than once.”
“Whoa…more than once? Shit’s serious. Sounds like you’re getting over Arion, maybe?”
“I don’t know about that…but I’m excited to look at houses again tomorrow.”
“Why tomorrow? You looked today. You got it that bad?”
“Uhhh, we ran out of time. We had lunch and planned to look at a few new ones that just came on the market. But we didn’t get to them, so we’re going tomorrow.”
“Lunch? You just met her.”
“And I was starving.”
“You’re always starving. It sounds like you went on like three dates with her already today. Shit’s getting super serious!”
“Why are you being such a brat?” I ask.
“I’m not, I’m sorry, it’s just Savannah has me stressed and I’m—”
“Taking your anger out on others?”
“Haha, I’m sorry. But it really is a big deal that you’re even hesitating from having a quickie with this chick…it’s progress, Nate. I just want you to be happy.”
“Enough with the sappy shit! Now, do you want me to pick you up and we can go hit the punching bags at the gym?” I ask her.
“You can pick me up, but what if we go out and have a few drinks instead?”
“I can do that, too.”
One word Amanda said rings in my mind, “progress”…am I making progress in getting over Arion? Maybe.
Fucking Amanda. I’m blaming her for this. My head is throbbing and I don’t want to move. My phone beeps and I check the time. I have to get up. I don’t want to…but I have to. It beeps again and I check Amanda’s messages. It’s a picture of me getting a lap dance from some chick at the strip club last night with a Thanks for last night text.
I can’t believe I let her talk me into drinking so much, although we did have a blast. It got me out of my own damn head and it took her mind off of Savannah too, which is all I wanted. Yeah, I feel shitty today, but oh well. It was worth it. Plus there’s nothing I can do about it now.
The shower calls me to wash away the scent of cheap perfume and alcohol. A combination that neither my therapist Roger nor Elania would appreciate. I’m not really feeling like talking to Roger today, but if I cancel, he’ll call, and I’d rather just get it over with now. Before I get in the shower, I check my email, wondering if Elania sent any new listings.
Sure enough, there are two.
To: Nate Wilcox
From: Elania Harmon
May 14, 2015 5:53am
Hey Nate,
I’ve scheduled the two listings we missed yesterday for today. Also, here are a few more new ones that I thought you might be interested in. Let me know if any of these look good and I’ll add them to today. Should we grab lunch afterwards this time, so we make all of our showings? :)
Elania
Before looking at the attachments, I go right into her next email.
To: Nate Wilcox
From: Elania Harmon
May 14, 2015 6:37am
Here are a few more. :)
I’m not really sure what to say. I don’t want to sound like I am completely desperate for her. I decide to call her office, this way I can hear her voice. And I’ll get a feel for the day.
“May I speak to Elania Harmon, please? It’s Nate Wilcox.” I ask the receptionist.
“Please hold,” she says.
Glancing at the clock, I’m cutting my time short, but this is worth it. While I’m on hold, I put my prosthetic on and then head into the kitchen to grab a power bar and a glass of OJ.
“Hey, Nate,” she answers in her usual chipper tone.
“Good morning, I hope you don’t mind me calling.”
She laughs a little, “Not at all.”
“What’s so funny?” I question her, wondering what I said that made her laugh.
“It’s far from morning, Nate, that’s all.”
“Maybe for you, getting up at five a.m. and shit. I had a late night.”
“Well, we all don’t work at a gym. I’ve got to get up early to get my run in.”
I love that she takes care of herself. It’s so sexy.
“Then I’ll let it slide.”
“Thanks, did you have a chance to look at my emails?”
“Absolutely,” I lie to her. I never opened the attachments. “That’s why I’m calling, I…I loved them all, but I’m not sure if we’ll have time today to see every one of them.”
“That’s great. I’ll schedule what I can for us today, then we can go again tomorrow, if you want?”
I agree, knowing it’s going to be tough to make a decision on buying a place, for the simple fact that all of this will end. I hear her receptionist in the background, “Elania, I’ve got Rachel on line three.”
“I gotta run, Nate, but I’ll see you here in a few hours.” We hang up and I head into the bathroom. Fuck, I don’t want to shower, I’m so sluggish. I turn the shower on and wait while the water heats up, almost falling asleep it takes so long.
After I am cleaned and dressed, I take a few Tylenol and Ibuprofen. I’m tempted to take a shot as well, but Roger will sniff it right out of me. On the drive, I call my mom to check in with her. Everything seems to be going well. I told her I’d stop by tonight and I could tell it made her day.
Now sitting in the waiting room of Roger’s office, I look at all of the books that line the walls, and wonder why all of these are out here in reception. Then again, what’s it matter to me? Tilting my head back, I close my eyes, exhaling deeply. I wonder what he’ll ask me today, or what he’ll want to talk about. I guess I should bring up what happened with my mom. He needs to know and can help me deal with all the shit that’s come flooding back to me.
I’ve tried to take this seriously, but things have become so mundane that when he asks me the same questions repeatedly, I lie. I’d stop if I could, but the military still has a hold on me, at least for a little while longer. The clock on the wall ticks, second by second, so slowly, and I know as soon as it strikes noon, he’ll open the door. I wonder what he’d do if I went in there early? I wonder how he lives his life so OCD and controlling that the clock directs him the way that it does.
“Nathaniel,” he welcomes me in right on time and I just smirk at him, shaking his hand as I enter. “How are you?” he asks me.
“Good.” I’ve learned not to ask him how he is; he’s made it clear that this time is for me. We both sit, him on his boxy square armchair and me lying back on the lounger.
“So…have you done everything I asked?” he questions me.
“Of course.”
“You haven’t been drinking?”
“Not one bit,” I blatantly lie.
“And you haven’t been looking up Arion and Bain online?”
I shake my head, embarrassed that at one point I did become a bit obsessed, but at least this answer is honest. And that is progress.
“So what’s new then? It sounds like things are going really well.”
“Well, not really. My mom’s health isn’t doing so well,” and I explain what we’ve been going through with that. He looks genuinely sympathetic, and I do appreciate that about ol’ Roger.
“I’m sorry to hear that. How does that make you feel?”
“Helpless. Like I just can’t do shit for her when she needs me most. It’s fucking awful.”
“What else?”
“Angry. I found her when she’d collapsed and it was really hard to see her that way.”
“Did it trigger any flashbacks from Afghanistan? Or otherwise?”
“It was a combination of everything: Arion, the war, and then really morbid thoughts of my mom.”
