Every Love, page 11
We get out of bed and I grab his shirt off of the floor. He scoots down and grabs his prosthetic. I can’t imagine what he went through to get to where he is today. He puts it on, followed by his pants. Then I catch him looking for his shirt and I smile at him, when we connect eyes.
“I like you in my clothes,” he says standing next to me, so tall that I have to crane my neck to see his face.
“Are you ready to eat?” I ask him.
“For sure.” Upon entering the kitchen, Nate sits at the bar and I open the fridge, bending over, ’cause I know he’s right behind me. I push my ass towards him and remember that we have dinner in the oven. I stand up pulling it open.
“This work?” I ask.
“You said you were gonna cook for me,” he grumbles.
“Fine,” I complain jokingly. “I’ll cook.”
“No, no, no. Leftovers are fine,” he says, coming into the kitchen and swatting my ass. “I’m gonna run to my car real quick.”
“Do you want your shirt?” I ask.
“Nah, it’s dark out.”
I can’t help but watch him walk away. He’s limping more than usual, and his back…oh my God, his poor back. Seeing his scars in the kitchen light makes them more apparent. I shiver from the sight, feeling terrible as I imagine what he went through. But I push the thought aside, knowing he doesn’t want to relive any of it now.
Turning the oven on, I reheat the food, then flip the TV on. As usual, Extra is on and I love me some Hollywood gossip. I listen from afar, opening another bottle of wine. Then the anchor begins to talk about Bain Adams from the Miami Heat and his wife, Arion. Oh, I love that couple. Such a tragic story how he lost his sister.
Nate comes back in with a duffle bag on his shoulder and his attention is immediately drawn to the TV. “The happy couple are expecting baby number two early next year,” she says and they flash a few photos of them from their recent People magazine shoot.
“Can you believe that? They just had a baby and now another one.”
Nate’s face is white as a ghost. He drops his bag and stands frozen in my living room.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, instantly alarmed.
He doesn’t respond to me, I walk around him as tears well in his eyes. He blinks them away as the TV show goes to a commercial. “What’s wrong?” I ask again, beginning to panic.
He stumbles to the couch and flops down without speaking.
“Nate?” I ask again, frightened.
“She’s my ex.”
My jaw about hits the floor. What the fuck? I couldn’t have heard him right, could I?
“Arion Adams?” I ask, not believing him.
“LaSalle was her last name when I knew her, but yes.”
“Jesus, Nate, I had no idea.”
All color has drained from his face and I fan him while we sit on the couch. I’m not sure what to say next, but I have to say something, because the look on his face is scaring me.
“I’m really sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask, settling on the fact that it might be better to just let him get things out into the open.
“What’s to say? She’s all that kept me alive when I was gone and when I came home, she’d moved on with that asshole NBA star. Now they’re married and have a kid, and I guess another on the way.”
I exhale, taking in his words. Fuck, it’s a lot to process. But I totally understand where he’s coming from.
“I get it, Nate, I do. Even though our situations aren’t the same, I know how it feels to have the person you love choose someone else. I can’t imagine how you must feel with their life being splashed across the media.”
“You understand?” he asks holding on to my thigh.
“Yeah.”
“I guess I shouldn’t be shocked by this. I’ve let her go, but seeing those pictures…” he trails off.
“I’m sorry,” I respond and scoot myself on top of his lap, straddling his sexy body. He holds me tightly and stares into my eyes. Our chests heave up and down, and mine just about erupts when he runs his thumb over my bottom lip.
I lean in and kiss him, wanting to wash away his pain. Wanting to make him forget about Arion and anything that has to do with her. The second our lips collide, my world stops. There’s nothing else that matters in this moment except for Nate and I. His hands hold me so firmly, moving in just the slightest way, the way that makes my pussy tick.
He begins to unbutton his shirt that I’m wearing; I look down watching his hands so close to my body. Right away my insides heat in anticipation. Then the oven dings, the damn timer interrupting us. Why do I have to be so methodical? He throws his head back in frustration. I kiss him swiftly and hop off of his lap, strutting my ass to the kitchen before I toss him the TV remote.
“You can put on whatever you want.”
“I’d rather you give me a show than watch anything on here.”
I smile, preparing our food, then grab him a beer from the fridge. I glance up to see what he’s put on the TV and notice light music crooning through the speakers. He’s turned sideways on the sofa just staring at me.
“Are you watching me?” I ask.
“Maybe,” he says and smiles. Something inside me melts, and I know I’ll never get enough of that smile no matter what.
“So you’ve moved on?” Roger asks me.
“Yeah, and this girl, she’s something else.”
“I can tell; this is the most excitement that I have ever seen from you. I trust that she’s single.”
“Absolutely. She went through a fucked up break-up with a lot of rejection and heartache.”
“So you can relate, that’s good. What about…Andrea?”
“I ended things with her, but she won’t leave me alone. I originally told her I didn’t want anything more than sex with anyone, but she’s relentless. Now, I can’t tell her that I’ve moved on with Elania ’cause that will make me sound like an ass.”
“But you could. You could explain that you’re not interested in a relationship with her.”
“I don’t want to hurt her any more than I have. She’s a sweet girl just stuck in a real shitty relationship.”
“There you go again, Nathaniel, always worrying about others before yourself.”
“Come on, Roger. Put yourself in my shoes.”
He laughs for the first time…ever. “No, thank you. I’ll stick with my wife. I’m not one to enjoy hopping around with different women.”
I laugh back at him, as it was actually kinda funny. “You know what I mean. I don’t want to hurt her.”
“Well, you need to do something to help her accept the reality of the situation.”
The timer dings, and in an unprecedented move, I’m not ready to leave. I actually enjoyed this session. “Same time next month?” he says.
I nod my head and leave his office grabbing a card with my next appointment on it. “Thanks,” I tell his receptionist, noticing he did schedule me for a month from now. In recent months, I have been coming every two weeks, but I guess not anymore. Finally, good ol’ Roger is seeing the progress that I am making. I shove the card into my back pocket and pull my phone out as the elevator arrives.
Of course, there are two missed phone calls from Andrea and a text from Elania. I open the text, ignoring the calls the same way I have been recently.
Lunch? My afternoon appointment cancelled.
I text her back, I’m having lunch with my mom, do you want to meet her?
She doesn’t respond and I wonder what’s going through her mind. The elevator doors open and I head towards my car. As I begin my drive across town my phone rings, and it’s her. “Hey, El,” I answer, switching lanes on the freeway.
“Are you being serious?” she asks. There is a clear concern to her voice.
“Absolutely, my mom wants to meet you. Why don’t we surprise her today?”
“I don’t know, Nate, it’s so soon.”
“Who cares? Just come with me. It’ll be better this way, not planning it, so you don’t have a lot of time to think about things and get yourself all worked up.”
The line is silent. “El?”
“I’m here. I guess…as long as you’re sure she won’t mind.”
“She won’t, trust me.”
“Where should I meet you?”
“Where are you?” I ask.
“My office.”
“I’ll pick you up. I’m just leaving an appointment.”
“Should I order any food? Since you have an extra stop now?”
“Nope, we’ll grab something. I can’t wait to see you.”
I can hear the smile in her voice. “Me too.”
“Yeah?” I ask, needing a little reassurance. I might be a guy, but we have insecurities too.
“Of course. You’re all I’ve thought about all morning.”
“Good,” I tell her, feeling horny the closer and closer that I get to her office.
“Well, I should get going.”
“Why?” I ask not wanting to end our conversation.
“I don’t want to keep you on the phone while you’re driving.”
“It’s hands free; talk all you want.”
“Is that what you’d like?” she asks.
“I like anything that you’re willing to give.”
“Oh, if you only knew.”
“Then come give it to me, I’m outside.”
She makes the cutest noise and hangs up. I pick my phone up and text my mom to give her a heads up. She’ll be happy that I’m bringing El, so I’m not concerned at all.
I glance up, looking for Elania and can see her talking to someone through the glass windows of her office. If I had to judge, I’d say she’s upset. She’s shaking her head, with her hands out in front of her and walking backwards.
I unbuckle my seat belt, adrenaline alone moving me to her. But before I can get three steps, she comes storming outside. She has tears in her eyes and I hold her face. She shakes her head and pushes her way against me. I wrap her in my arms, feeling terrible to see her this upset.
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing, let’s go.”
“Don’t bullshit me, El. What the fuck happened?” My anxiety spikes and I have to remind myself to stay calm.
“I’ll tell you; can we please get in the car though?”
“Of course,” I respond and kiss her lips. She leans into me, sighing heavily. As we pull away, I walk her to the passenger side of the car and look into her office. Whoever she was talking to is still staring at us. I give him a death glare. The kind that says, I will rip your fucking head off without blinking. He walks away; maybe my tactic worked. I close the passenger door and then walk to my side of the car. She seems a bit calmed down and is wiping her eyes clean.
“You okay?” I ask.
She nods her head. “That was my ex,” she says calmly.
Really? Does she work with him? I guess I should’ve asked a little bit more about her past.
“Why is he at your work?”
“He’s dating one of the girls there. That’s why we broke up. I caught him cheating on me with her.”
“Fucking asshole,” I blurt out. She gives a shaky smile at my outburst.
“What did he say today?”
She turns away. “He wants to know who you are. He saw us kissing the other night out here.”
“Did you tell him that it’s none of his business?”
“I did, but he’s a lunatic.”
“Sounds like it. Do you want me to talk to him?”
“No, at this rate, I just need to find a new real estate office to work at, or branch out on my own.”
“I’ll support any of that. It sounds like getting far away from this asshole is what would be best. He’s your ex for a reason and should leave you the fuck alone.”
“Thanks,” she says and grabs my hand. “Now, let’s go see your mom. I’ve already made us late.”
Happily, I start the car, loving the way her strength shines through. “Try not to stress about anything,” I tell her, pulling onto the main road. “We will figure all of this out together.”
She squeezes my hand and we drive in silence. I love having her with me, more so than I ever knew was possible. She’s such a positive light and makes me forget about all of the bad. Even when she’s going through some shit, she perseveres. After we grab lunch, we make the short trip to the facility where my mom lives.
“Should I call her Barb or Barbara or something else?” Elania asks me.
“Barb, and she might call you El – that’s what I always call you when I’m talking to her about you.”
“So you’ve talked to her about me?” she asks.
I open the back door to my car, grabbing our lunch. “Of course I have. I told you, since day one, I’ve had it bad for you.”
She smiles at me and wraps her arm around my waist. We walk inside the cedar, ranch-style building and are greeted right away. Then I head straight for my mom’s room, feeling proud to be introducing Elania to her. “You okay?” I ask, sensing she is still a little upset from what happened at her office.
She looks down at our hands that are now intertwined and says, “I am because of this. You calm me and make everything better. Thank you for that.”
I lift our hands, bringing hers to my lips. “You do the same for me. Thank you, El.”
We walk into my mom’s room and there she is. She’s out of bed and one of the nurses is combing her hair. She is in her wheelchair, but not in a nightgown. She got ready to meet Elania, which makes me so proud.
“Hey, Ma,” I say watching the way her face changes when our eyes connect.
“Hi, baby,” she says, looking briefly at me and then locking eyes on El.
I lean down and kiss her cheek. “Ma, this is my girlfriend, Elania. Elania, this is my mom, Barb.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Barb,” she says and shakes her hand.
My mom looks happy today. She lifts her shaky arm for a hug and I watch the two embrace. “No, Elania, it’s my pleasure.”
The two separate and the nurse pushes my mom to the large round table that sits by the window of her room. Elania and I pull up some chairs, and I notice my mom staring at her.
“How are you feeling today?” I ask, hoping it will distract her.
“Really good. I’m not in bed, which is a good thing.”
“That makes me happy. We brought Thai, your favorite.”
Elania spreads everything out on the table and I can tell that she doesn’t know what to say.
“So what are you two up to today?” my mom asks, seeming to have pulled herself out of the daze that she’d been in from staring at El.
I look to Elania, letting her answer. “I’m not sure. I think I’m done with work for the day, but no big plans.”
I nod my head agreeing, but there’s worry in the back of my mind; I think she’s done with work today because of what happened. She doesn’t want to go back and deal with things and I can’t blame her.
“I’m off today, saw Roger this morning, and don’t have any more plans.”
“That’s nice. When do you close on your house?”
“In about three weeks.”
“Two,” Elania corrects me.
My mom chuckles at her correction. “Are you from here, Elania?” my mom asks, slowly taking a bite of food.
“No, I was born and raised in California. My parents still live there.”
“What in the world brought you to New Jersey then?”
“It’s a long story.”
My mom glances around the room, her humor shining through a little bit. “I have all the time in the world, dear.”
“A guy.”
“But it didn’t work out?”
She smiles and looks at me. “No, thankfully it didn’t.”
I place my hand on hers, “Yes, thankfully it didn’t.”
We continue eating, the two of them are completely lost in conversation. I sit back and watch, enjoying the connection they have. After a while, it’s time for us to go and for my mom to get ready for physical therapy.
“Thanks for having us, Ma,” I tell her, leaning down to hug her.
She hugs me back; there’s not much strength, but I’ll take anything that I can get from her. Elania hugs her too and we leave. I never linger with goodbyes or look back. They are the hardest for me. I think because when I said goodbye before being deployed, I was so sure I would return…but almost didn’t. It’s a fine line now as a trigger for panic attacks and flashbacks, and I don’t need any setbacks. Plus, the sight of her in that chair is so heart wrenching, every single time. I can sense my anxiety lurking beneath the surface.
“Your mom is so sweet,” Elania says as we pull out of the parking lot.
“She’s the best. It was great to see her up today too—that’s the best she’s looked in months.”
“Really?” she asks me, turning the music down in the car.
“Yeah, I think it’s because you came. It made her get up and care how she looked.”
“Come on, Nate, she didn’t do that for me.”
“Of course she did.”
“Well, I’m glad I had a positive impact then.”
“You absolutely did.”
“Do you think she is physically getting better?”
My stomach sinks at her question. “I’m not sure. I mean, she looks the best that she has in a long time, but she does seem a little slower, maybe weaker too. But it could just be me overanalyzing things.”
“I don’t know her, but I think she looked great. She’s so sweet too.”
“Thank you. What do you want to do now?” I ask, completely changing the subject, talking about my mom too much can set me back and I want to stay in a good mind frame for Elania.
“Can we just go to my place?”
“Absolutely.” I put the pedal down for two reasons – she’s choosing to spend the afternoon with me, and I need to be with her. We can always grab her car later because the tension between us is built up, and being with my mom wasn’t the place to let my thoughts morph. Trust me, they wanted to, they might have even twisted for a moment, but I realigned myself like the good son that I am. See? I can be a gentleman when necessary.
