Temper: Deliverance: Book Three of the TEMPER Saga, page 7
“Daughter, run, prepare the pool and all ingredients. We are running out of time to reverse this. You, come with me,” she pulled on Lana’s arm; the young woman almost stumbled down, but Honda steadied her. “You too, Son. There is no good reason for why you can see that. Yuki san! Why are you still here? Go back inside with the others!”
With a resolute frown, Yuki stepped up to her mother-in-law and put her arm around Lana’s waist.
“Certainly not, okaa sama. I cannot see whatever is hurting her, but I will no longer be set aside on this. I am owed a lot of explanations, and she will not go through this ordeal without me by her side.”
Natsuko hissed. “Enough with your attitude and defiance! You are here in my home, you will obey my word! If you are oblivious to her wounds, there is no place for you where we are going now.”
“Oh, stop this bullshit!” Lana roared. Everyone recoiled and stared at her. “They are my family. Both of them are with me, she’s coming along, that’s it! I’m so done with secrets and half-truths and I’m this close to vomiting on your feet!” As white-hot fury engulfed her, pain receded; energy flowing once again in her veins, she could focus on her opponent.
She towered above Honda’s mother, letting all her frustration and rage shine through, a sense of vindication filling her.
“You seem to know a lot, Honda sama,” she spat, eyes narrowed. “So, there’s only one question: are we enemies or allies? Are you on their side, or on ours? There’s no in-between. By all what is holy, if it’s theirs, the first head I’ll rip off is yours, and this is no figure of speech!”
Silence settled on the group as the two women fell into an angry staring contest. Shell-shocked, Honda and Yuki gripped Lana’s arms; whether it was to restrain her physically from assaulting their clan’s leader or hold on for dear life as propriety was thrown out of the window, it was impossible to say.
Something sparkled in the old woman’s eyes; they roamed over Lana, truly looking at her for the first time.
“I have been their enemy since the day I was born, insolent woman! The eldest daughters of my mother’s line have stood up against these kinds of dark powers for centuries. So yes, I suppose that we are the same side… on this,” Natsuko conceded. Then she turned toward her son, who looked a little green. “How can you tolerate such disrespectful behavior? Is this why she is in your bed? Because she has this... fire in her blood?”
Oddly enough, there was a hint of amusement in her tone – but approval would be pushing it.
A faint blush covered Lana’s cheeks. Honda shook himself up and regained his composure. He threw Lana a displeased look, but his lack of scowl told her something else. Threatening to kill his mother with her bare hands seemed to bother him less than tepid breaches of dojo etiquette.
Go figure.
“This and many other reasons,” he replied smartly. “Okaa sama, all of this is shocking news and we all have a lot to talk about, but I believe time is of the essence.”
His mother nodded. “Yes, it is. Follow me then.” She stopped before adding reluctantly, “You too, Yuki san, as it seems that these two can’t do anything without you.”
Natsuko led them to a single pavilion at the back of the garden that Lana hadn’t seen earlier. A small vermillion torii stood in the front, surrounded by plaited ropes made of rice straw, from which white stripes of prayer paper hung.
Honda blinked in surprise. “We were never allowed here…”
“No, because only those initiated – in this family, me and your sister – or affected may step inside. Today we will make an exception,” the matriarch glared at her daughter-in-law, who bowed her head.
Anxiety spiking, Lana gripped the elder’s hand. “No… I… I can’t go in there…he… he is always lurking in those places...”
The old woman gave her a knowing look. “This is a holy place, under the protection of powerful kami.” For the first time since Lana had met her, there was no aggression or condemnation in her words. “Strong spells ward off the likes of him, and they cannot break them to make this shrine theirs. The entire estate is also protected. As is the house in Setagaya. All our properties are safe places even if the level of protection isn’t as high as within the shrine for obvious reasons. Now tell me, woman. What’s his name? Did you recognize him, or– well, you cannot know this,” she grumbled. “You are a foreigner after all.”
Lana bowed her head, fists clenched. Honda’s light touch on the small of her back gave her enough relief and courage to reply.
“I know his name… it was that cursed fox… Nogitsune,” she whispered, afraid that uttering his name would conjure him. “He tricked me to approach him, caught me with his tails and paws and–” A violent shudder interrupted her.
Natsuko inhaled sharply. “This is a formidable enemy. It is incredible that you could escape him though. You need to tell me more about this later. Let’s get to it now.”
After passing the torii, they washed their hands and rinsed their mouths at the small purification font standing right behind it. Removing their shoes, they stepped inside the shrine before following Natsuko’s example as she kneeled on the threshold to pay her respects to the altar.
Long and impressive, it ran all along the opposite wall; It was covered in lit candles, various shrine treasures and other objects of worship. The shrine floor was made of long, dark brown cedar planks, except for the area right in front of the altar where tatami replaced them.
The most striking and unusual aspect of the place was a large wooden pool in the middle, overflowing with steaming water. Hiromi was already there, pouring the contents of several small bags into the basin. Two kerosene heaters offered some modest heat, and dozens of incense sticks filled the room with heady perfume and smoke.
Even though it was much warmer inside, Lana shivered, and her skin prickled uncomfortably as she straightened from her bow. Her head buzzed, much like it had at the sumo tournament, and she rubbed her temples. On her right, Honda leaned toward her.
“Yes, me too,” he whispered. They shared a grim look.
“Stop right here,” Natsuko’s stern voice startled them. “That she feels uneasy is perfectly normal. She requires extensive purification. But you…” She cupped her son’s face with both hands to stare him down without an ounce of mercy or compassion. “What happened to you? I will not move ahead before I clarify your role. Maybe you shouldn’t be here at all, maybe you are so compromised that you are now their agent!”
Yuki covered her mouth and Lana whimpered.
“Okaa sama!” Honda exclaimed, his composure quickly crumbling. “I… the truth is, I was assaulted, around the time of otoh sama’s passing. But it wasn’t that fox! It was another evil, an onryo.” He hesitated before plunging ahead. “She was the one who ensnared him, who kept him in his clutches, and brought so much hardship to our family.” He grimaced when his mother’s fingers dug deeper in his face.
“What? And you never thought to tell me?” Her voice was a frightening growl and for a moment, Lana feared for Honda’s life.
“How could I know that you wouldn’t reject my word for being pure fantasy, complete madness?”
“Pah! You had no right to make that decision, to keep this for yourself! Twenty years, Naruhito, twenty years I have wondered!” Natsuko took a series of deep breaths to calm down. She had yet to let go of him.
“Well, at least some of it makes sense now. Your father was never the brightest in the room, but if he was under that demon’s spell... I could never understand why he gambled everything, his name, his family’s reputation like that. Mistresses, I wouldn’t have batted an eye at. But that?” She sighed and shook her head. “That was obviously a plot to bring our clan down, to get at me given my role and functions. But then, what happened to you? What did she do? And how does this lead us to this, today?”
Regret and shame painting his cheeks red, Honda lowered his eyes. Lana bit down her lip and threw a side glance at Yuki. Now comes the hardest part.
“She… wounded me, cursed me with a complete lack of restraint on my impossible drives, and I have been bearing this scar ever since as a constant reminder,” he replied with a low voice, before opening his collar to expose his neck to his mother.
Stunned, Yuki leaned forward and grabbed his arm. “What? Goshujin sama! All these years, all this time! And you told Lana san, but not me? How dare you–” She twisted his sleeve hard before letting him go but didn’t bother schooling her face. Her anger and feelings of betrayal were plain to see.
Desperate to convey some kind of support, Lana reached out for her hand, but Yuki pulled it away with a brusque gesture. Lana whimpered, head low in shame and bitter regret. Honda squeezed his eyes shut; he couldn’t face his wife though, held as he was by his mother’s hands.
“Yuki san… it was a terrible decision, but my only goal was to shield you against this madness. We… I wanted to tell you everything before the baby’s birth. Lana san pushed me to do it as soon as she found out the truth, but I ordered her not to. You have the right to despise me, but don’t punish her for my poor judgement,” he said with vehemence before looking again at his mother.
“Please, okaa sama, believe me, I am not their agent! I have been fighting all these years, trying to keep my sanity in check, to find solutions to protect those around me! I went to many temples and shrines, but there was no answer for me. I… couldn’t imagine that you, of all people, knew anything that would help me!”
Mother and son stared at each other, one trying to prove his sincerity, the other attempting to get over her maternal instinct and figure him out as she would with anyone else.
With a frown, the elder Honda brushed the scar then pointed at Lana.
“She is part of those solutions, isn’t she?”
“Yes! I had… I had to find a way. I wouldn’t bring Yuki down with me in this hell. I looked for someone with the required physical and mental fortitude. Someone I could train to handle my increasingly harsher needs, who could contain my rage and drives, with no need to know more. Someone who could perform her duty, no question asked. I chose Lana san, but then we discovered that…”
He darted a wary glance at Lana who was lying on the floor by now, bone-tired, despairing, barely holding up.
“One of those things also marked me,” Lana rasped. “Him, that… evil fox. I still don’t know how or why, so many things make no sense, but… but it’s a fact. I can help your son, yes, because deep down I’m as damaged as him, as unhinged as he can get. I need him as badly as he needs me… and now… and now...” A painful cough shook her. “Listen... I can’t keep up, it’s hurting too much… please, do something, anything!”
Despite her pain at the bubble of lies they had built around her, Yuki took Lana in her arms. Grateful, Lana relaxed at first in her embrace but then stiffened again when the contact fired up her wounds.
Natsuko stared at the two women, then at her son. “You idiot… you thick-headed, stubborn fool…” she grimaced, shaking her head.
Slowly, her grip of steel relaxed, and Honda found himself cradled against his mother’s lap. He sighed, and for a fleeting moment, they shared something that certainly hadn’t happened since his childhood.
“Let’s fix this,” the old woman grunted; suddenly she looked her age. “We will attempt to lessen its effects at least. But first, Yuki san, help her to the pool; she must take off all her clothes.”
Yuki supported her companion for the few steps that brought her to the tub. Hiromi assisted her sister-in-law, and one by one, they peeled away Lana’s layers of clothing. When finally, Lana found herself naked, she could hear Hiromi’s sharp intake of breath and Honda’s muffled roar. Gulping down a wail of anguish, she buried her face in her hands.
It was a disaster.
Red and purple ragged lines covered her legs, on the inside and outside her thighs. They went around her rounded belly and chest, then up to her shoulders and neck. Her forearms were telling the same terrible story. Her lower body was hidden from her sight, but pain told her all she had to know about how it looked like.
A cool hand on her arm jolted her from her miserable contemplation. This time, the burning rage in the matriarch’s eyes was not meant for her.
“You will overcome this. You have made it this far, even if this is much worse than anything I have ever seen. From now on, it will get only better… after one last difficult moment. He will not keep you in his power,” she vowed, and oddly enough, Lana believed her.
She stepped inside the warm water resolutely. A groan of pain passed her lips despite her efforts. It was almost as bad as when it had happened. But this was normal, needed, like when putting disinfectant on a wound… a wound that covered her from head to toes.
“You should also immerse your head, try to remain under water as long as possible,” Natsuko instructed. “Son, take your clothes off and go in as well. Let’s see if what we have here will work on that scar of yours, even after all this time.”
Lana took a deep breath and let the hot water engulf her. She pushed aside the signals of her tortured nerves. Overwhelmed with guilt, for the first time since the attack she focused inward, on the little one who had bravely gone through her pain, spikes of anguish, high blood pressure and stress. To her utter relief, he moved and kicked her flanks.
Brave little boy. She caressed her belly, looking for the familiar bump that marked his back or foot. Don’t worry, Mamma will get through this. We’ll all get through this.
Something brushed her hips and her fingers found Honda’s. She gasped for breath, then extended her legs on the wooden step of the basin to lay on her right side and keep her injured cheek under water.
“Goshujin sama,” she whispered. “Do you feel anything? Any discomfort?”
“Some pickling, but quite limited. I guess it is better than nothing, though...” he replied grimly.
Natsuko and Hiromi went to the altar, clapped their hands twice and kneeled in prayer while Yuki sat by the basin near her companions. Her drawn face, pinched lips and clenched jaws betrayed her inner turmoil, breaking Lana’s heart.
Even if she wasn’t in physical or psychic pain, Yuki had had to absorb countless emotional blows during the past hours, not to mention the world-shattering revelation there were indeed tangible things that bumped in the night, messing with her life. She was in dire need of comfort. But would she accept any from the two people who had betrayed her trust?
Lana put a trembling hand out of the water, hoping that her partner would take it. With a shaky breath, Yuki grabbed it and rested her forehead against it. After a few heartbeats of hesitation, Honda placed a tentative hand on his companions’ entwined fingers while the others went on Lana’s distended belly. To her extreme relief, Yuki accepted the gesture.
The leader of the Honda clan began to chant a litany of mantras that made no sense to Lana’s ear. Closing her eyes, she tried to empty her mind of her anguish and despair and articulate a form of prayer of her own, focusing on the support stemming from her companions.
7 - Loving Declarations
The water of the wooden pool at the center of the shrine had a perfect temperature and surrounded Lana like a warm and plush cover. As the prayers sung by Natsuko and Hiromi filled the air, she lost track of time and her mind became numb, only aware of the solid presence of Honda’s body behind her and Yuki’s slender fingers in her hand.
Slowly, the shrine turned dark as the sun set behind the grey clouds of the snow tempest that had picked up strength over the hours. The stinging and burning agony torturing Lana abated gradually; only low-level pain eventually remained, reaching a manageable degree.
Natsuko and Hiromi finished their prayers. The Honda matriarch turned toward the exhausted trio who straightened up.
“Son, Lana san, remain in the pool for one more hour, the water will stay constantly warm. You will sleep here tonight to continue with the purification. The family will not go to our usual shrine visit at midnight as we all need to rest. Daughters, come with me to the house now, you will bring back futons and covers as well as a change of clothes.”
Everyone bowed; the three women left the shrine in haste, leaving the couple behind soaking in the hot water.
Honda slightly pulled on Lana’s hand. “May I?”
“Yes, please. Actually, your touch helps.”
After she let herself drift into his arms, he engulfed her against his chest. Silence filled the shrine; Lana almost fell asleep to the sound of water droplets dripping in their pool. His fingers brushing her scars and his low growl of discontentment kept her awake though. They were so ugly, and she couldn’t even see her entire body. Granted, they were invisible to normal people; that was a relief, but it didn’t really help. It would be hard to come to terms with this.
“Well,” she whispered, full of bitter self-derision. “Thankfully, you didn’t pick me for my looks.”
His body tensed; he turned her around before grasping her chin, touch not so kind anymore. “What are you even talking about?”
She quirked an eyebrow and didn’t flinch. The damned words of the changeling fox played in loops in her head.
“Look at me and tell me nothing has changed, that this doesn’t disturb you in the least.”
Her companion hissed, lowering his face just above hers. “Do you think your wounds affect in any way how my body and mind react to yours?”
“I guess this awful red will fade in time, but I won’t be as before, and…” She sighed and looked away, but his iron grasp tightened.
“Look at me! You want to talk about beauty? You are as beautiful as a katana blade; just as deadly, strong, unforgiving, now more than ever. Those are battle scars you should carry with pride because you escaped a formidable enemy and you lived to tell the tale. I am enraged at the pain they cause you, and at the creature who inflicted them, but if anything, they make you even stronger… and you know what I think of strong and powerful women,” he finished with a growl that made her shiver.
