Nixon: An m/m bodyguard romance (Hunter Security), page 7
“That’s the idea. It lets us both know what we are and aren’t comfortable with. There are a bunch of different types of limit check sheets out there, but I like this one.”
I look over the top of the list and fill it out easily.
Am I a Dom, submissive, or Switch? Sub.
Experience Level? Total newbie isn’t an answer, so I check beginner.
Sexual Orientation? Ugh, such boring responses. Why isn’t queer as fuck an answer? I put my mark next to gay because, obviously, I’m not straight.
How do I prefer this relationship?
My eyes hover over the word polyamorous, and a rare feeling of jealousy creeps over my body. Without hesitation, I put a check next to monogamous and glanced at Nixon. Would I be able to share him if he asked me to? Fuck, I don’t know.
How do I prefer to dress during a scene? Denim sounds like it would chafe. Gothic isn’t my thing. Lace is actually intriguing. Latex or rubber isn’t too appealing to me. Leather is a maybe. I write out my thoughts since there is a place to put other ideas.
“Can we try different styles of dress for scenes?” I ask, earning a smile from Nixon.
“Absolutely. I’m not going to lie, I prefer you naked, but you’d also be sexy as fuck in lace.”
Heat creeps up my cheeks, and I’m sure I’m a bright shade of red as I finish the last part of the first page, marking no next to any health conditions or limitations. I’m not normally one to blush at compliments, but the way Nixon speaks has me feeling all warm and gooey inside.
“Now we are getting to the fun part,” Nixon notes. “Next to each limit are three boxes for experience. Never means you have never done something. Tried means you’ve done it once or twice but not enough to judge fully. Versed means you are confident in your opinion of it at this time. Then you’ll rate that on a scale of zero to five. Zero means you hate it. One is begrudgingly accepted. Two, neutral negative. Three, neutral positive. Four is something you actively like, and five is something you love.”
It all sounds pretty straight forward.
“Next, you’ll want to rate your comfort level of doing something in the future. The options are hard, soft, curious, enjoy, and fav. Hard means something you are absolutely not wanting to participate in, no matter what. Soft is something you are not usually interested in but would be willing to try in the right circumstance, but extensive conversation would have to be had. Curious is something you want to explore but would want to discuss prior to. Enjoy is something that is fair game, and fav is something you love and would want to be included often…”
He pauses, glancing into my eyes intently to check in. I offer him a small grin and a tilt of my head for him to continue.
“After that, there are columns for fetish and forced. Fetish is something you absolutely need. Something you wouldn’t feel complete without in this dynamic. Forced is something you feel you want or need to be forced to do to enjoy. Limits can change over time, so we are always able to come back to these.” I nod. “Any questions?”
“Nope. I think it’s all straightforward.”
He stares into my eyes, almost like he’s trying to figure out if I’m lying. As soon as he’s done checking in on me, we start.
As we make our way through the list, I notice I’m getting extremely turned-on, even when I come across activities that are hard limits for me. We occasionally stop so I can ask questions, but for the most part, we work in comfortable silence. My whole body lights up when we get to impact play and spanking.
Impact play is something I know I’ll enjoy, but spanking is a fetish. I don’t want to not have that in my life. The way my entire body released last night when he spanked me sent me to fucking heaven. It was glorious and like everything was set right.
By the time we finish the list, my cock is throbbing, wanting so badly to be touched, but I’m not sure if that will get me in trouble or not. I mean, we haven’t finished the contract yet, and honestly, trouble sounds like a good time, but for whatever reason, I leave my erection alone.
“Can we switch lists for a minute?” Nixon asks, and I nod, handing him my papers as I accept his.
We go over the lists in silence, and I smile when I see we are compatible. Thankfully, Nixon also checked monogamous, and I no longer have to figure out if I’m capable of sharing. Heat creeps up my body when I see he’s into tying people up because that’s something I want to try. A lot. Nothing he has as musts are a no-go for me, and the same for him. None of his hard limits are a must for me.
“I know you’re new to all of this, but I want to know what you really want. How do you want me to make you feel? What are you expecting from this relationship?” Nixon inquires after he finishes reading my list.
“I don’t want you to be my boyfriend,” I start, making the corners of his lips tick. “I want this to be mostly physical. Obviously, I’m expecting some emotions to get involved in certain aspects, but for the most part, I’m looking for you to control me in the bedroom, and that’s it.”
“I’m a control freak. Can some of that control bleed into life beyond the bedroom? I’m not asking to be your boyfriend, but in order for me to feel fulfilled in this, I want more than just sex.”
I let the words roll around in my head for a minute and then nod.
“I don’t think I hate that. What I was mainly getting at is a deep emotional connection. I’m not looking for you to want to get into my soul.”
Nixon nods. “I can respect that. What else do you want?”
“I’m not one hundred percent sure. Is it possible for us to figure that out as we go? I know for sure I like giving up control in the bedroom, but I also like pushing your buttons. I like when you spank me because it causes this amazing release. Other than that, I’m not too sure what I need just yet.”
Nixon smiles. “Everything is always up for discussion. Lots of dynamics start out with basic rules and evolve over time.”
“What about you? What do you need?” I ask, and his eyes blaze with something almost like pride.
“I obviously like control, but one of my biggest things is caring for the person I’m with. That’s why aftercare is always a must for me. I need it as much as you do.”
“I liked you holding me last night,” I admit.
“I liked it far more than I think I should have,” he mumbles, and I laugh.
“What else?” I inquire, wanting to learn more about him and what he wants from this dynamic. So far, we are on the same page, and I hope it stays that way.
“I’m a big fan of rules, but we can create those as this grows, as we get to know each other better and find out what we both need and want.”
I mull over his words. How do I really feel about rules? I guess it would depend on what they are.
“Can you explain the rules to me a little better? Are they a must-do? How does it work?”
“Some are a must. Others, you could choose to break them, but there would be consequences.”
My mind drifts to the idea of more spankings and possibly more impact play, and my entire body lights up.
“Like what?”
“Spankings are more of funishments and not punishments, Brat,” he states, and I pout. “Like if you roll your eyes or sass back, those would result in spankings. But say I asked you to eat three meals a day, and you only ate two. Maybe that night I would edge you all night long but not let you come.”
I’m not sure how I feel about that, and I must pull a face because Nixon grabs my hand and squeezes it.
“But everything is negotiable. I won’t ever do anything you aren’t comfortable with. We’ll agree on what works best for both of us. If we hit a stalemate, then we go our separate ways.”
I nibble on my lip but nod after mulling it over for a moment. “Okay. That makes sense to me.”
“How do you feel about honorifics?” he asks, bringing it back to a subject that’s more fun.
“I liked calling you Sir last night,” I reply.
“It sounded good coming from your lips. That’s my preferred honorific. Are you okay with referring to me that way when we are alone?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“What do you want to be called?” he inquires, and I let myself think about it before blurting anything out.
“I like it when you call me Brat, but I don’t think that suits every situation. What about Treasure?”
Nixon studies me briefly before responding. “Why that?”
I shrug and chew on my lower lip. “I used to dream about being special and treasured by someone. Heaven knows my parents never treated me that way. So Treasure just feels right to me.”
Nixon’s face softens, and he nods with a bright smile. “It’s perfect,” he whispers, staring intently into my eyes. “Okay, onto aftercare. For now, we can come back to the rules later.” I nod and wait for him to continue. “How do you want to be cared for after a scene?”
“I really liked the way you held me and fed me chocolate,” I tell him. “My favorite chocolate bar is a KitKat, though. Could we make that a thing?”
“Absolutely, I always want you to have your favorites. Do you like stuffed animals or have a special blanket you would like to cuddle with?”
I shake my head, but a stuffed animal sounds nice. “I don’t have any, but those giant stuffies at the store always catch my eye. I’ve just never let myself buy one before.”
He writes something down on his paper, and I’m dying to know what it is.
“I also think I will need you to sleep with me after every scene,” I say as he sets his pen down, but something feels off. The idea of sleeping alone, with everything that’s happening right now, makes me sick to my stomach. “Actually, since you’re living here for the time being, could we sleep together every night? It would make me feel safer.”
Nixon’s jaw goes tight before he responds, and I wonder if he doesn’t like the suggestion.
“We can make that a part of our agreement. Every night while I’m living here, we sleep in the same bed.”
I grin as a rush of relief washes through my body. “That sounds perfect. My love language is physical touch,” I add.
“I kind of figured with how much you clung to me last night,” he remarks with a smirk.
“What is your love language?” I ask, wanting to make sure I am giving as much as I’m taking.
“Physical touch and words of affirmation.”
“Perfect. I’ll make sure to keep that in mind. So you aren’t into degradation, then?” I check, and he shakes his head.
“If the person I’m with really needs it, I’ll try, but I don’t even like being the one degrading someone.”
“Good thing that isn’t my kink,” I tease.
“No, you just like a sore ass to go with that smart mouth.”
I laugh. He isn’t wrong.
“Now, on to safe words. Do you have a preference?” Nixon inquires.
“I think I like the traffic light system. Having to remember a specific word doesn’t sound appealing to me.”
“Completely fine. Use them when you need them. That’s why they are there. You’ll never get punished for using your safe word.”
I smile, and when my stomach grumbles, I realize it’s later in the day than I thought it was.
“Are you hungry?” he asks, and I nod.
“I guess we skipped lunch.”
“What would you like for dinner?” he asks, pulling out his phone.
“What, you’re not cooking for me?” I joke, and he narrows his eyes at me.
“It’s been a long day. I think takeout will be okay for one night,” he retorts.
“Good thing I’m easy,” I reply with a wink.
He chuckles and shakes his head.
“Are you on a specific diet for this role?” he checks, keeping his eyes on his phone.
“Not this time. I just have to stay in general shape. I’m kind of lucky I can still eat whatever I want as long as I work out at least six days a week. Speaking of, once we’re done ordering our food, I’m gonna swim some laps for a bit.”
“Sounds good. I like to watch,” Nixon replies with a waggle of his brows, sending a jolt straight to my cock.
“What’s your favorite restaurant?”
I tell him about a sandwich shop I found a few years ago that makes the absolute best food and has a delivery system. As soon as our order is placed, I stand and stretch before strutting over to the water, making sure to put a little extra swing in my hips so his eyes are drawn to my ass. I mean, if you can’t flaunt your assets, what good is it being in shape like this?
As I step into the water, I realize I’m really happy with Nixon here, but I shouldn’t be. Instead, I should be pissed he’s taking up space in my sanctuary.
The way I react to Nixon terrifies me, but what do I do about it?
Chapter 10
Nixon
It doesn’t take long for the food to arrive. My mouth waters from the aroma that wafts out of the bag as I carry it into the house.
How the hell do sandwiches smell that good?
My stomach rumbles. Apparently, I was hungrier than I thought. Man, I can’t wait to devour these bad boys.
After stopping at the refrigerator to grab some water, I bring the food and drinks to the back patio and wait for Dante to join me. He’s toweling off, and naturally, I keep a close eye on him. Of course, I could lie to myself and say it’s because it is my job, but what’s the point? It’s obviously more than that with him.
“I’m fucking starving,” Dante complains as he plops down in a chair at the table.
“Good thing I ordered extra. It’s my fault for skipping lunch. I promise I won’t let that happen again.”
“I often skip meals. It’s not a big deal. I just make up for it at the next one,” Dante shares nonchalantly, but that doesn’t sit right with me.
“That’s going to stop. It’s not healthy for you. Especially someone who works out as often as you do. You need three meals a day, plus snacks.” He rolls his eyes. “Should I start tallying your eye rolls now?”
He gasps, and his eyebrows shoot up. “What?”
“I’m thinking it would be fun to tally all your eye rolls and give you daily spankings,” I state. “If you’re still a good boy at the end of the day, you’ll get rewarded, but if you miss your meals, it will be spankings only, no orgasms. What do you think?”
He glares at me before taking a bite of his sandwich. Watching his mouth move and the way his tongue sticks out to clean his lips does something to me. How is that turning me on right now? Have I been this infatuated with others in the past? I don’t think so, but I don’t want to dwell on this new information, so I push it aside.
“That sounds fine,” he grumbles, but he’s squirming in his seat at the thought, so I know he likes it.
We sit in peaceful silence as we eat. Being with Dante isn’t awkward or uncomfortable—quite the opposite, actually. I’m not a person who has the need to fill all silence with pointless chatter, and I’m glad he’s the same.
“Are things changing for work tomorrow?” Dante asks after finishing his first sandwich.
“I want to keep everything as close to our normal as possible. I’d rather not clue whoever the insider is in. Besides, the chances of them wanting to attack you at work are slim to none. If they try something stupid like that, I’m confident in my abilities to protect you. They won’t get close enough to even breathe on you, let alone touch you,” I assure him.
“I keep asking myself, why me? What have I ever done to someone to make them want to hurt me? And why would someone I let close to me want to help them? It just doesn’t make sense. I’m not a bad guy.”
I reach across the table and place my hand on his, giving it a gentle squeeze. His eyes meet mine while I try to find the right words for him, having this overwhelming need to make it better for him. “I wish I had answers for you, but I don’t. I do have an idea to get your mind off everything, though.” My cock takes notice of the way Dante’s eyes light up. But my idea isn’t of the sexy variety, even though I’m sure that’s where the sexy actor’s mind has gone.
“What’s that?” He leans toward me, his voice dripping with sexual need.
“Mario Party on your Nintendo Switch,” I tell him with a cheeky grin, laughing when he grumbles under his breath at what an ass I am.
Begrudgingly, he gives in, and it’s not until we have played three Mario Party rounds and watched two movies that I realize what time it is.
“Bedtime, Treasure,” I instruct.
“But I’m not tired,” he whines, and my hand twitches, wanting to turn that ass red.
I have to bite my tongue to stop the smile from spreading. There’s something about a man who exudes confidence and finesse to the public eye but is pouting for me that turns me on. But it also makes me proud he’s letting part of his wall down enough around me to do it.
“You have to get up early tomorrow, so you’re going to bed,” I state, but he doesn’t move when I stand. Instead, he crosses his arms over his chest and glares at me. I run my tongue along my teeth, and the corners of my lips turn up into an evil grin. “If you get up now and go to your room, I’ll let you come after your spankings. You’ve been a good boy today. I really want to reward you.” The words almost come out in a purr, and I chuckle as Dante bolts past me. “Get naked and wait by the bed on your knees,” I holler after him.
I take my time cleaning up the entertainment room before making my way to Dante’s room—the room we’ll be sharing while I’m staying here.
When Dante first suggested that, my knee-jerk reaction was to say no. I’ve never done that with a sub before. Honestly, I’ve never lived with a partner, which might be weird, considering I’m in my forties, but work has always been my life. Before I started Hunter Security, my all was for the Army. I wasn’t a boyfriend kind of guy. Everyone I have ever been with has always been casual, so this is all new territory for me.
But I couldn’t tell Dante no, especially with how vulnerable and scared he looked when we first arrived at his house after the break-in. I’m certain he doesn’t feel safe here anymore. But I’ll gladly do it if I can calm some of those nerves by sleeping with him at night.
