“If someone just wants to out me and not kill me, why did they break into the house?” I ask when we get inside my home, kicking off my shoes and letting a few of my thoughts out.

  “You weren’t supposed to be here that night. Maybe they were only trying to get information. Find something worth sharing with the media.”

  “I don’t understand why my sexuality is anyone’s fucking business,” I yell, everything becoming too much and bubbling over.

  Nixon rushes to me and wraps his arms around my shoulders. “It’s not, but people suck. They only care about themselves,” he whispers into my hair. “If they can do something to push themselves farther along or get revenge, they’ll do it, not caring who is collateral damage.”

  I nod against his chest as a few tears trail down my cheek. I’m normally not a crier, but I’m so over all of this. It’s too much. But thankfully, Nixon is here. Somehow, he helps me forget, but the heavy thoughts creep in.

  How long is that going to be for?

  A frightful thought pushes its way to the forefront of my mind, and I pull away to look into Nixon’s eyes. “Are you going to move out now that I’m not in danger?” I pray the answer is no. I’m not ready to let him go yet. It’s already going to be over sooner than I’d like.

  “Do you want me to?” he asks, moving his right hand from my back to my chin, trailing his thumb along my lip.

  “I’m not sure…” I lie, letting my words trail off. I know what I want, but I can’t seem to voice the words.

  I’m not supposed to be falling for him.

  “How about we make that decision another day,” he suggests before leaning down to kiss me gently.

  It’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I melt into him. He’s not leaving, at least not yet.

  “Can I get your mind off of everything?” Nixon asks after a few incredible kisses.

  “What do you have in mind?” I inquire, completely intrigued by the idea.

  “I had this idea randomly pop into my head about tying you down and flogging your perfect body. I also want to edge you a little, so remember, no coming until I say.”

  My breath hitches, and I gasp. “Why does that sound so hot?”

  He smirks and kneads my hips where he’s still holding me. “It’s okay to have kinks that not everyone has. It’s fine to be physically turned on by pain. It’s more than okay to crave it as well. It doesn’t make you weird to think this is extremely hot,” he assures me, reaching for my hand and placing it on his crotch. “As you can tell, I’m just as turned on as you are.”

  “Take me to bed, Sir,” I whisper before reaching up on my tiptoes to kiss him again. “And make it hurt.” I chuckle when I hear Nixon groan behind me after I turn to strut to our room, making sure to sway my hips more than usual.

  I bet his eyes are glued to my ass. That’s the goal, anyway.

  A swat on my ass has me yelping but also laughing. “Stop being a tease, Brat.”

  I pause, peering at him over my shoulder. “Make me,” I goad in a husky voice. The way Nixon’s eyes turn almost deadly has my cock throbbing between my legs.

  This is going to be amazing. At least for a short time, I’ll be able to think of nothing but this man.

  Chapter 14

  Nixon

  Before commanding Dante to strip, I grab the bag of items I purchased today. He obeys without smart-mouthing me, making it obvious he needs a mental release, and I’m happy to give it to him. While he gets naked, I install the under-the-mattress restraints.

  “On the bed,” I state firmly when I’m done.

  Dante climbs on eagerly, and I secure his wrists and ankles with soft cuffs, ensuring they aren’t too tight and his circulation isn’t being cut off, and also that they don’t allow him to break free.

  “How does that feel?” I ask him, double-checking that the cuffs aren’t cutting into his skin and he’s comfortable.

  “Good.” He gives me a slight grin, his eyes heated with desire.

  I return his smile as I step back and take a moment to soak him in. His cock is as hard as a rock resting against his stomach, and the sight makes my mouth water. His creamy skin is so perfect right now, but I can’t wait to tarnish it a little. I’ll make sure not to get too carried away, not wanting him to have to explain marks to his director. Thankfully, he has two days off, giving him time to recover and allowing the marks to fade before he returns to work.

  Reaching into the bag, I pull out a flogger, giving my hand a few good slaps, testing the sting. Dante’s eyes go wide, and his chest rises and falls a little quicker as his breathing picks up. I bet his heart is racing. I know mine is just from the anticipation.

  “What are your safe words?” I ask before we start the scene. I want to make sure we are still using the traffic light system but also get an idea of where his head is.

  “Green is go, yellow is slow down, and red is stop,” he informs me, his words almost too rushed to understand him through his panting.

  “Good boy. What are you feeling right now?”

  “Green, Sir,” he replies with a grin.

  “Perfect, now let’s get started,” I murmur, strutting closer to him.

  To start, I set the flogger on his left shoulder, gently dragging it across his chest to his right hip before doing the same to the other side, taking my time tickling his body, letting the leather tails trail across his skin.

  His body shivers, and his cock bobs against his stomach, leaving a tiny trail of precum.

  As I drag the flogger across his body a few more times, I make sure to avoid his cock for the time being.

  “I need more,” Dante says.

  “Patience, Treasure.”

  He takes a deep breath as the flogger slips down his leg, tickling his inner thigh on the upstroke. His legs shake a little, and his body trying to fight against the restraints makes me smirk. I love having this effect on him.

  After I’m done teasing him, I lift my arm and bring it down hard against his left thigh, causing him to cry out and bow his back. I do the same to his right thigh, taking in the way his skin turns a glorious shade of bright red.

  “Fuck,” Dante yells when I bring the flogger down on his cock.

  I pause for a moment, studying him. “Too much?” I ask, checking in with him while gently dragging the flogger across his chest.

  Dante shakes his head. “More,” he begs, and my cock pushes against my pants so hard I’m afraid the zipper might break.

  I flog him repeatedly, making sure I don’t hit the same spot twice until he’s a whimpering mess, begging me to let him come.

  “You did so fucking good,” I praise as I ditch the flogger.

  Before climbing onto the bed, I take a step back to appreciate the rosy glow of his once-pale skin. It’s no longer pristine and unmarked, and the fact I did that makes my cock ache.

  Lying next to him, I leave him restrained and kiss him with all of the passion I have while stroking his cock.

  I want to tell him how I feel and that I’m falling for him.

  How I don’t ever want to leave him…

  … but I can’t.

  It would destroy what we have. Dante made it clear what this was. Feelings were never supposed to be involved. While he doesn’t want me to leave, I can’t fool myself into thinking it means more.

  “Come for me, Treasure,” I whisper against his neck, picking up the speed of my hand.

  With a roar, Dante explodes, coating my hand, his chest and stomach, even getting a little on his chin. Then I move to release his limbs before heading to the bathroom to get a warm cloth. As soon as he’s cleaned up, I grab his aftercare supplies and something new I picked up today.

  “Is that a stuffy?” Dante asks after I strip my clothes and climb into bed with him.

  “It is. I know you said you wanted one, so I thought I’d surprise you,” I say, then bring the straw I placed in a glass of juice to his lips.

  He squeezes the duck plushie while sipping. There is a drunk expression on his face, but an extremely satisfied one.

  “You didn’t get to come,” Dante mentions before I place a chunk of KitKat in his mouth.

  “Tonight wasn’t about me. It was about you.”

  He nods but doesn’t say anything.

  “How are you feeling? Did I do anything you didn’t like?”

  Dante shakes his head, his hair tickling my chin. It makes me wonder if he would grow it out after this movie. The idea of being able to wrap my hand around it and pull while I fuck him has me stifling a groan. It’s definitely something we should talk about. “I’m feeling really good. I loved it all. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind even more one day. Maybe after this movie is over.”

  “You want to continue this that far?” I ask, my heart rate picking up.

  Can he hear how loud it’s beating?

  “I like what we have,” he states. “I’m not sure about the logistics of it all once you move out, but we could probably figure something out, right?”

  I nod, but a million questions are on the tip of my tongue.

  Am I willing to take any scraps he’ll give me?

  Is what we have enough for me in the long run?

  I agreed to what this is, but that was before I fell. Now I want him to be my boyfriend. I want to take him out on dates and take him home to meet my parents one day. All of which isn’t possible.

  Fuck, I hate this.

  Dante’s phone wakes us the next morning, but it’s obvious it isn’t early by the amount of sunlight beaming through the window.

  “Hello?” Dante answers groggily.

  “You’re still sleeping?” Elanor asks with a gasp.

  His phone isn’t on speaker, but I can hear every word with us being so close.

  “Stayed up late last night. I have two days off, so I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

  “Of course. I want to come over today to go over some upcoming events and a few other things. Does this afternoon work for you?”

  “Should I invite Nixon? I’m sure he’ll want to know about the events.” I smile.

  “I’ll talk to him about it after. Besides, I thought you didn’t get along with him, or is that changing?”

  “He’s still a pain in my ass, but I’m positive he’ll bitch if he misses this meeting. Please don’t make me go through that.” He groans, and I bite my knuckle to stop the laugh that wants to break out.

  “Fine. Invite the bodyguard,” she murmurs, and Dante’s smile widens.

  “Okay, cool, I’ll send him a text right now. Talk soon,” he tells her and ends the call.

  “You’re a good actor,” I say, rolling onto him.

  My thighs rest on the outside of his, and I hold my weight on my forearms before kissing him. Our hard cocks rub together, no barriers separating us, and the feel of his velvety skin pulls a moan from me.

  “Gah.” Dante groans as I grind against him.

  “How are you feeling after last night?” I ask.

  Dante narrows his eyes at me. “Is now really the time to ask?”

  “No time like the present,” I reply nonchalantly.

  “I’m fine, but I would really like more than just your dick rubbing against me.”

  I lift a brow, waiting for a secret word.

  “Please, Sir… can I have some more?”

  I chuckle and slide off him, moving us so we are facing each other before gripping us both in my hand.

  “Yes,” Dante pants while I stroke us together, his hips bucking into my grip.

  I slip my tongue into his mouth as we make out, and it doesn’t take long for us to explode.

  “We need a shower,” I mention after we cuddle for a few moments, both of us sticky from our cum.

  “I don’t wanna move,” Dante complains.

  I kiss the top of his head. “I know, Treasure, but Elanor is coming over this afternoon. I still need to feed you and move the SUV out of the garage before she shows up.”

  “Fine…” He groans. “But can I have a shower blow job?”

  I laugh. “How are you ready to go again?”

  “I’m young. I recover quickly,” he quips.

  “Come on, get up. I guess a shower blow job could be arranged,” I concede.

  “You’re the best. I think I’m going to keep you forever,” Dante jokes before leaping out of bed and racing to the bathroom.

  I take my time following because the word ‘forever’ makes me wish that was possible. I guess, in some ways, it is if I’m okay with no one ever knowing about us. But I don’t think I am. This relationship has to have an end date, but no matter if that date is tomorrow, a week, a month, or even years from now, I’ll be left broken. And I’m the only one to blame.

  Chapter 15

  Dante

  No matter where I am or what I’m doing, I always find myself searching for Nixon. It’s something I noticed shortly after we started whatever the hell this is.

  While I’m acting, I keep my focus on task, but the second the director calls ‘cut,’ my eyes make a beeline for Nixon. It made me nervous at first. What if someone caught on? I mean, it would be easy enough to come up with a lie. I’ve been doing that my entire career. Hell, half the time I’m not sure if I am even capable of telling the truth anymore.

  Nixon and I have been waiting for Elanor in the living room—him in the recliner working on his laptop and me on the couch, trying to watch a show but constantly getting distracted and staring at the sexy man.

  “Anything interesting going on at work?” I question, done pretending I can pay attention to the show.

  Nixon shakes his head and rubs the back of his neck. “Not really. Just been trying to get some of the boring shit done for the week. Being the boss sucks sometimes.”

  “Yeah. I wouldn’t want to be in charge of other people. That sounds way too stressful.”

  “I don’t mind being in charge. It’s just all the bullshit that comes with owning a business that gets taxing at times.”

  “Makes sense. Can’t you just get other people to do that shit?”

  “Some of it. But I’m also a control freak, so it’s hard to delegate.”

  “You… a control freak? I never would have guessed,” I say in mock surprise.

  “Brat,” Nixon jokes, picking up the Kleenex box next to him and gently tossing it at me.

  I’m about to make a remark about how he loves it when the doorbell rings, cutting off our friendly banter. I don’t even bother getting off the couch, knowing Nixon will chew me out if I open the door.

  “Since when do you lock the door?” Elanor asks after Nixon lets her in.

  “Since someone tried to kill me,” I reply with an expression that should read duh.

  Elanor giggles. “I guess that makes sense.”

  The way she ignores Nixon kind of irks me, but I don’t want to say anything that could bring on questions I don’t have answers to.

  “What all do we have to go over?” I ask as Elanor sits down next to me.

  “Let’s start with the scheduled appearances first, then move on to everything else,” she states.

  I nod, not caring what order we do this in, just wanting to get it over with. My heart isn’t in it today. I’d rather be simply Dante, not Dante, the actor. Actually, I’d like to spend more time alone with Nixon, but I can’t tell her that.

  Nixon sits back in his chair, listening intently while Elanor goes on and on about the events I have to attend in the next couple of months. My skin crawls at the idea alone. I’ll no longer have Anna to be with me to help ease my anxiety, and I’m not sure how I am going to get through anything without her. Maybe I’ll call a doctor to get a prescription for something.

  As soon as everything is all in place, we move on to what’s next for my career and image.

  “So I’ve been talking with Anna. We think six months after the breakup would be a good time for her to do an interview coming out of the closet.” I nod, unsure of what that has to do with my career and image. “I was thinking it might be a good time for you to come out as well,” she says with a bright smile like she doesn’t know me at all. “We could even set up a double interview so you can both come out at the same time.”

  I shake my head. “I’m not ready, Elanor. You should know that. I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready.” Tears prickle my eyes.

  Elanor’s face contorts for a moment, almost like she’s taken aback that I told her no. Obviously, that isn’t something I do often. “Of course, honey,” Elanor says, trying to console me. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up. I just thought maybe you’d see Anna taking this step and want to do the same.”

  “I don’t,” I snap.

  Elanor backs off, eyes wide in shock, but her soft smile returns quickly. “Well, whenever you’re ready, let me know.”

  I cast my eyes to the floor. She’s never pushed for this before.

  That’s when it hits me.

  Holy shit…

  I think Elanor is the ‘insider.’

  What the fuck? Why does she want me to come out of the closet? What does she have to gain from that? Wouldn’t she want her friend to be ready before pushing them to do something like this?

  I’ve never wanted to come out publicly and never thought I would, but things are changing. I wish I could live a life where I have a man who loves me and stay in the closet at the same time. But that isn’t fair to anyone. I must let Nixon go one day or overcome my fear and come out. Both scare the shit out of me.

  “Anything else we need to talk about?” I ask in a clipped tone, letting Elanor know I’m done with this meeting.

  “Not today,” she says, standing. “Take care, sweetheart. We’ll talk soon.”

  As soon as Nixon locks the door behind Elanor, he makes his way over to me and wraps his arms around me.

  “Do you think Elanor is the one who is trying to out me?” I whisper into his shirt.

 

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