Hold Fast, page 19
The pier was up ahead, and damn, he was winded. Yoga and weights were great, but he’d been ignoring cardio. Taking runs along the waterfront had been one of his justifications for buying the condo.
Did Zack run? It was a little hard to imagine, but that made Isaiah want to see the man in track pants even more.
A couple passed him just as he was turning on to the pier. He nodded to them. Both women nodded back. That was cool.
He took a shaky breath and slowed down. “You still there?”
“You think I’d hang up on you?”
“No.” He could make out a figure at the end of the pier, a dark shape through the rain. Isaiah slowed his steps even further. “There’s a lot I want to say to you.”
“I think we should spend all the nights together,” Zack said, the words rushing out all at once. “If we do that, I don’t think anything else matters. And I don’t mean we need to move in together, just pick which of our places we’ll be at and then be there. Both of us. At the same time. I mean, obviously. Oh god, make me stop talking.”
“I like it when you talk.” Isaiah swallowed around a lump in his throat. “Your idea is…yes. Yeah, Zack. Every night. Then it doesn’t matter how much we’re working.”
“Exactly. And I know it seems crazy, like we’ve only known each other for two months, but I don’t think there’s any chance we’ll get sick of each other if most of the time we spend together we’re asleep.”
Isaiah grinned, eyeing the ever-clearer shape. “Just asleep?”
“You know what I mean.”
“Yeah. And it’d be worth it. Even on nights when we fall into bed exhausted, I’d so much rather do that with you than alone.”
“Me too. I’m still kind of…” He couldn’t tell, not for sure at this distance, but he thought Zack looked away for a moment. “I think I’m kind of horrible to date. But I want to try. For real, not as a trial.”
“Yeah.” He raised his hand. Zack waved back. There was so much to say, but they didn’t speak. Zack pushed up until he was standing straight, shoulders back, looking fucking delicious standing there, water spreading down his shirt from his shoulders, working its way up from the cuffs of his slacks, only noticeable by how heavily they hung at the bottom.
I want you so fucking badly right now. Water dripped down the side of Isaiah’s face and he couldn’t help smiling as he approached. “I thought about you all day,” he said to the man on the phone, who was now in front of him, close enough to hear.
“God, me too.” Zack lowered his hand and ended the call without looking down. “Hi.”
“I wasn’t sure if it was too soon to call.”
“Uh. I hope not.”
Isaiah blinked rain from his eyelashes. “It’s perfect. You’re perfect. This night is perfect.”
“Nothing’s perfect. Oh my god, Isaiah, nothing’s even changed. Are we crazy to think we can make this work?”
He stepped in. “We were crazy to think we could just put it aside because it was inconvenient. Let’s never tell my dad we did this. I’ve been dodging questions about you for weeks.”
“You haven’t.” Zack grabbed his jacket and tugged him closer. “I can’t believe you did that.”
“Hey, you would have, too. What’re you waiting for? Kiss me already.”
And Zack did. As if he couldn’t spare time for a clever comeback, as if he couldn’t wait one more second to kiss Isaiah. His lips were cold and wet and yes, perfect, because everything about this moment was perfect.
They kissed in the rain and Isaiah ran a hand into Zack’s hair to hold him in place, prolonging the moment as long as he could, in all its discomfort and awkwardness, trying to feel every nuance of sensation on his skin.
“I’m freezing,” Zack whispered. He leaned forward and Isaiah engulfed him in an embrace that felt somehow different, almost new.
Maybe it was the rain, the chill, but how had he never noticed that they fit against one another like puzzle pieces? Except they hadn’t before. They’d worked, they’d complimented each other, but it hadn’t been quite like this: legs just slightly offset, hips aligned, arms around backs, shoulders and necks and heads all uncannily coordinated.
More than any of that, it was that lean, it was the precision of their counter pressure as they stood together.
“Come home with me. Are you opening in the morning?”
Zack nodded.
“We could drive to your place. I don’t have anything early.”
“I just want to be with you. I don’t care where we are. But soon, okay? I’m really cold. And wet. And like…I’m so happy you answered your phone, Isaiah. And that you weren’t all cuddled up in bed with someone else.”
Isaiah laughed out loud, guiding Zack back down the pier toward land. “You were not worried about that.”
“Not until it was ringing! Then it was all I could think about.”
“Me with another guy? Because I could make that happen if you wanted it to.” He was teasing, but the sudden speculative expression in Zack’s profile—even in shadows—was real enough. “Oh damn. You’re thinking about it again, now, aren’t you?”
“Shut up. No. Yes. I have no idea. We just got back together five minutes ago, why don’t we wait on the, uh, you know…”
Isaiah tousled Zack’s hair, spraying water everywhere. “So how long should we wait?”
“Oh, is that how it’s gonna be?” Zack shoved him, but immediately took up the spot beside him again. “I think I’m done with strict timetables. Let’s just see what happens, okay?”
“See, you only say that because you haven’t met my WoJo yet.”
Zack stopped walking. “You didn’t.”
“I did. I missed you so much I got myself a WoJo. Got the pens and everything.”
By the outright pleasure on Zack’s face, he could have been a dog person about to meet Isaiah’s new puppy. He looked almost enthralled, eyes wide and excited. “Oh my god. You have never been as sexy as you are right now.”
“If I’d known colored pens turned you on, I would have gotten some sooner.”
“I wasn’t hiding it.” The condo building came into view and Zack shuddered. “I’m so cold I’m numb. But I have to say something before we go inside, because it’s dark, and it’s raining, and this is how I pictured it.”
“Okay.” Isaiah put his arm over Zack’s shoulders and there it was again, that micro-lean.
“I really care about you. Way more than I’m comfortable talking about when we haven’t known each other that long. And in this way that feels just…way too intense. I want you to come out with my friends. I even thought about how I’d tell my dad to leave you alone about Black Lives Matter. So just…if that’s not how you feel, too, then tell me now.”
They were at the awning. Isaiah paused before the door. “It is. I can imagine you sitting in Pop’s kitchen. I can imagine the conversations you’ll have with Ruth and Cai. I want to meet your parents, Zack. And you don’t have to say anything to your dad. I look forward to talking to him.”
“You say that now.” Zack took a shuddering breath, but this time Isaiah didn’t think it was because of the weather. “I’ve never felt like this before. So certain, even when absolutely nothing makes sense.”
“We make sense.” He kissed Zack, carefully, slowly, letting the energy build between them while the wind still swept past. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. We’re going to make this work. I don’t know how, but we are.”
“Hell yes, we are.” They kissed again. “Now let me pick up a change of clothes and we’ll go to your place tonight, okay?”
Zack smiled. “Best boyfriend ever.”
“You’re damn right.”
They’d go upstairs, find something dry to put on, grab whatever he needed, pick up Zack’s car, head over to the apartment. They’d spend the night in each other’s arms, discovering the new angles to this thing between them. It would be amazing. Isaiah suspected he’d remember tonight for the rest of his life.
But before any of that, Zack, still smiling, leaned in. And in that kiss, Isaiah felt his future.
He couldn’t wait.
* * *
If you liked Hold Fast and want to read more, check out my website, where I’m always writing something new!
Come hang out!
Want to be in the know all the time? Join my Patreon!
Want to know the very nanosecond the next book’s out? Join the new releases list here!
My eternal gratitude to the folks out there who review books! Thank you!
You can always find me at krisripper.com, doing who-knows-what. (Free short stories, excerpts from upcoming books, podcasts of questionable quality, and lots of rambling.) I also spend a great deal of quality time in my Facebook group, Ripper’s Irregulars. Join us!
Thanks so much for reading!
Patreon | Facebook | Ripper’s Irregulars (on Facebook) | Twitter | YouTube
Bits and Bobs
Lots and lots of stuff in this one.
Some of you may recognize a cribbed and slightly different version of the Bullet Journal program (with a very different origin story). WoJo is not exactly the same, but it’s similar. (Zack could of course enumerate their differences.) I adore the Bullet Journal idea and totally use it; absolutely any textual teasing is done with love.
Now, sticker diary I can’t do, because I’m not visual, but it’s fricking amazing, y’all should look that business up on YouTube. (Hat tip to M.M. Florin, who introduced me to sticker diaries.)
The name Venomenon is entirely down to Roan Parrish, whom one can absolutely message out of the clear blue sky and demand a name for a YouTube channel in which a dude gets stung and bit by things, and immediately be impressed by a list of possibilities. BEST, BEST, BEST.
Big love to the East Bay Vivarium, which is a real place I’ve gone to since I was a kid, and now take my kid to, because there’s nothing better to do with a Saturday morning than peering at a black tree monitor or trying to find a dyeing dart frog in an aquarium.
Another local shout-out to Berkeley Ironworks, where I learned everything I know about belaying (er, you know, I can do the knots and stuff…), and where I first looked up at a climbing wall and thought, I bet folks could fall in love in a place like this.
In case you have lived your entire life without hearing Bette Midler do “In the Mood”…allow me to help with that. (https://youtu.be/mUaceJDGRHQ)
Last but not least, totally obscurely, Randi and Stacy went to Halloween as “twins from some anime they both love.” The anime is RWBY (if you’ve met me or seen my videos, you may already know how much I love RWBY), and the twins are Melanie and Miltia Malachite, best seen in the Yellow Trailer. I’ll go ahead and link to that just in case you feel the need to watch. And you really should. (youtu.be/QCw_aAS7vWI)
Acknowledgements
Huge thanks to Courtney Miller-Callihan, whose continued support is invaluable.
Thanks to Anna Main for catching my goofs.
And mad feedback props to General Wendy, as always, and Alexis Hall, both of whom I can count on to poke a book where it needs to be poked.
Oh my god, shut up, I didn’t mean it that way! Well, okay, in this case maybe I did…
Hold Fast
Copyright © 2018 Kris Ripper
Cover: Lennan Adams at lexiconicdesign.com
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without express written permission of the publisher.
All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.
Kris Ripper, Hold Fast
