Hold Fast, page 11
Listening to Zack talk was inspiring, but so was kissing him. Isaiah closed the notebooks with one hand, winding the other into Zack’s hair. “You’re sexy.”
Zack huffed a surprised laugh. “God, I’m so not. Least of all when I’m talking about WoJos like they’re important.”
“Yeah, that’s hot. I like it when you get all passionate and flushed. I love that you don’t mind my questions.” He held Zack’s gaze, basking in that intensity.
“Most people don’t want to know any of this stuff. It’s…hard to believe you’re actually interested.”
“Believe it. And show me this sticker thing, I can’t picture it.”
So Zack showed him a grid with boxes per day filled with stickers and hand printed notes. When they closed that notebook, Zack put them away (in order, of course), and turned back. “I didn’t mean for this to be a booty call…but I didn’t mean for it not to be one, either.”
“We ate dinner. That makes it a date.” Isaiah coaxed Zack closer and lay back on the floor, pulling him until he was on top. “It’s late. Do you have time for this?”
“I…should say no.” The strain in Zack’s neck softened. “But I can’t. A quickie?”
“Yeah, not so much. But you can pretend it’s going to be if you want.”
“I do. I want to pretend I’m being responsible without actually being responsible.”
Isaiah smiled. “My pops said it’s okay to take a break, Zack. So it must be true. C’mere.”
Pleasure came in many forms, and for Isaiah quite a few of those included sex as a component. But he realized as they teased each other to hardness, occasionally laughing, occasionally moaning, that sex with Zack was no simple pleasure, no purely physical delight.
Maybe it could have been, if they’d done it that first night. But now he knew too much, felt too much.
And he had the sneaking suspicion, as he outlined each of Zack’s vertebrae with his tongue and gloried in the moans he was wringing from his stressed out partner, that there was no going back. Isaiah knew what his body felt like when he was falling for someone, and this heady, joyful high was it.
Man, Zack was gonna be so pissed when he figured it out. Isaiah decided to let him live in ignorance a while longer and deployed his tongue in places that made Zack groan so loudly he buried his face in a pillow.
Chapter Twelve
It was supposed to be a business meeting. Zack stared at Isaiah’s hands as he made notes over the top of Zack’s notes on the yoga series marketing plan and repeated to himself over and over again: This is a business meeting.
They’d done two more recording sessions and had only one more left. The sudden realization that soon they wouldn’t have an excuse to spend time together had led to the likely rash decision to agree to this business meeting. At Isaiah’s apartment. At eight p.m. Over dinner.
“It’ll be a working dinner,” Isaiah had promised with a tone Zack couldn’t completely analyze. Was he laughing? Was he teasing?
Their working dinner had been incredibly productive so far, he reassured himself. They had a calendar for releasing the videos, a calendar for promoting them, and a rough projection of advertising costs that made him reach for a pen to open and close.
He so didn’t have the budget for that.
The best thing that had happened in the last week was hearing back from Professor Yang, who was willing to sign off on an independent study with him—providing he complete all the work for her current class, using the yoga series as a real life campaign. He could tell Isaiah would have preferred to hold off a little while on the release schedule, but summer session dictated it be done sooner rather than later.
He’d almost volunteered to forego the class when Isaiah leaned over to kiss him and said, “Man, I’m so happy for you. Tell me to fuck off if I take too much ownership of this, okay? It’s your thing.”
Zack had momentarily been so affected he couldn’t respond. He’d cleared his throat and managed to say…something. He didn’t remember what. And quickly turned the conversation back to work.
Saturday night. They probably shouldn’t have sex tonight. Even though for the first time since they’d been working outside business hours (and the gym), he actually didn’t have a shift in the morning. Still. This was a business meeting.
There was something really wrong with him. He was a little turned on watching Isaiah handle his pens. His Staedtler Triliners. He’d never had even vaguely erotic thoughts about his pens before, but god, Isaiah made everything sexy. How people could pass him on the street without becoming uncomfortably aroused was totally beyond Zack.
He shifted slightly and attempted to covertly adjust his trousers. At this rate he’d never look at his pens the same way again. Not. Good.
“We should take a walk.” Isaiah kept writing. “I’m almost done here.”
Zack blinked. “It’s raining. No, it’s storming.”
“There. I think I got everything down we talked about, and I’ll type it all up tomorrow. Will that work for you?”
“Sure. I mean, of course, but…”
Isaiah finally looked up. “I need some air. Come on. And I know it’s raining, man.” He squeezed Zack’s knee. “The weather’s off the hook. I love being out when everything’s all intense and shit. Don’t you?”
No. I like being inside, where it’s dry, and warm. Though it wasn’t a cold storm, just a very wet one, and god knew California needed the rain. Still. “We’re supposed to be working.”
“We’ve been working all night.”
“Yes, but…” It wouldn’t be fully honest to say That’s why I came over. It was part of the reason, of course. But the other part was looking at him right now, smirking very slightly, eyebrows raised, waiting.
“If you want to keep talking as we walk, we can do that.”
“Fine.” Zack wasn’t sure why he was being so obstinate. It was just a walk. “I don’t have an umbrella.”
Isaiah grinned. “I have one, but I’m not gonna be under it, just so you know. I like getting a little messy, Zack.”
Unfair. No real good way to hide his blush without making it obvious that’s what he was doing. He began gathering up his pens and notebook. “I like things to be neat,” he muttered, not quite sure what they were even really talking about now.
“I know you do.” Isaiah kissed his cheek and stood. “I’ll get that umbrella.”
Was he imagining things, or was Isaiah kissing him casually, like, a lot tonight? In fact, he’d been doing that during the recording sessions, too. At least the times when Zack stayed to watch. At the end of each episode Isaiah had come over to kiss him as if it wasn’t a big deal. Almost like they were…involved. In a more-than-casual sort of way.
Maybe Isaiah was just into kissing. Probably that was it. It was a little strange, but not entirely unwelcome.
Zack finished packing his things securely in his messenger bag and went in search of Isaiah, eventually finding him in the studio. More specifically, all the way inside the closet in the studio.
“Are you all right in there?”
“I thought I had—” There was a meaty thud. “Ow!”
Zack winced. “Do I need to assemble a rescue party? Or first aid supplies?”
“Both.” Isaiah emerged with a umbrella under one arm, rubbing his head. “That was vicious. But I found this for you.” He presented the umbrella with mock ceremony, as if it was a sword being handed to a king.
“Thank you,” Zack replied, nodding gravely.
Both of them laughed.
“Seriously, you better appreciate my sacrifice so you can have dry hair. Damn.”
“It’s got nothing to do with my hair! But if we go out in that without an umbrella, we’ll be soaked.”
One side of Isaiah’s mouth quirked up. “You realize the wind’s blowing so hard there’s basically no way to stay dry.”
“Why are we going out there again? Question two: are you going to wear galoshes and jump in puddles?”
“Oh hell yeah. Let’s go look for puddles!”
Zack trailed Isaiah out of the studio, trying to decide if he was joking or not.
* * *
The umbrella wasn’t entirely useless. Probably. Zack hunched over as the rain battered him from all sides.
He’d assumed they were just taking a walk. A normal walk. Like on the streets. But no, of course not. They’d walked along Water Street, on the bike path that ran between the street and the Bay, but then Isaiah had taken his hand and led him toward the pier.
Zack had been talking about Terence, about how hard he was to work with, and how Val handled him really well, but these days Val was looking a little burnt out, and if he left Crux, there was no saying what would happen…
Which is probably why they were already on the pier by the time he realized that’s where they were heading.
He pulled back. “We’re in the middle of a storm!”
Isaiah held out his arms and stepped away from the shelter of the umbrella. “I know! It’s amazing!”
“Are you insane?” Zack shook his head. “It’s pouring out here! If we go out on the pier, the wind will blow the umbrella inside out!”
“Yeah, man, you should put that thing away.” That was it; Isaiah turned and began walking.
It was a completely obnoxious move, and Zack was definitely annoyed. He stood there, holding the umbrella low against the wind so it wouldn’t be ruined, staring after his date…coworker…friend…whatever…and grudgingly admitted to himself that Isaiah’s bullheadedness was really kind of a turn-on. Even if it was also annoying.
Not that he was turned on standing in the damn rain. Except maybe intellectually. Because Isaiah was so damn confident he’d follow, the man hadn’t even looked back.
“Oh goddammit.”
He collapsed the umbrella, squinted against the rain, and started walking.
“You’re kind of a bastard, you know,” he said when he caught up.
Isaiah laughed. “I know. I’m sort of a horrible person, but so charming with it, right?”
Zack elbowed him right as another gust of wind slammed into them. “I think that’s blowing water off the Bay right into us! We’re gonna be drenched!”
“Come on!” Isaiah hooked an arm through his and tugged him out farther.
As far as they walked out, they’d have to walk back. And that was definitely water blowing right off the Bay, kicked up by the wind, the rain, sweeping up over the pier. Already Zack’s trousers were heavier with it, wet and starting to cling to his skin.
This was ludicrous. What the hell were they doing? And why was he going along with it? The pressure of Isaiah’s arm was reassuring, even if the man himself was infuriating.
“Why are we doing this?” Zack called over the wind.
“Because it’s fucking incredible!”
They’d reached the end of the pier, a rectangular platform wider than the pier itself. A bright yellow light arced over them, illuminating huge drops of rain blowing in all directions.
Isaiah tugged his arm away and turned slowly, like he was trying to get hit by all the rain. Like he was inviting it. He laughed. “Man, I fucking love this! It’s so wild out here right now!”
All Zack could do was shake his head. “You’re batty,” he muttered, well below the volume of the storm.
And yes, it was crazy: rain was running down from Isaiah’s shaved head, pebbling in his eyelashes, glistening on his lips. He was grinning, still turning around, now with his arms outstretched. He caught Zack’s eye and reached one hand toward him.
“What can you possibly want?”
“I need you to dance with me! Come on! How can you stand still right now?”
“How can you—” There was clearly no use arguing with a madman. Zack hunched deeper into his jacket. “What is wrong with you?”
“I’m in love with the universe tonight, Zack! Dance with me!”
“That’s ridiculous!”
But Isaiah’s grin didn’t falter, and his hand didn’t drop.
Zack swallowed. “I can’t dance in the rain.” Except somehow he was already moving forward, he was already taking Isaiah’s hand, being drawn into his arms.
He was already dancing with Isaiah in the rain.
His next protest caught on the edge of Isaiah’s laughter and then he was grinning as drops hit his hair, his scalp, his nose. Isaiah was singing to him, something it took him a minute to recognize because it wasn’t quite right.
“Is that ‘In the Mood’?”
“Hell yes! The Bette Midler version! My mama loved some Bette Midler. The lady can sing!” Isaiah spun him out toward the railing, then snapped him back in again, and Zack wound up curled in so his back was against Isaiah’s chest. Lips nibbled at his ears before Isaiah took up the song again, and it was probably just the proximity, and the madness of it all, but hearing the man croon in his ear about being in the mood was almost enough to make him forget they were standing on the La Vista Pier in a storm.
Then the wind picked up, spinning the raindrops almost viciously at them. Zack was about to propose they maybe get out of there when Isaiah kissed him.
And oh, oh, that was… Zack reached up, framing Isaiah’s face, kissing him harder. Screw the rain, and the wind, and the storm.
Isaiah’s arms tightened at his back until they were pressed against each other everywhere and Zack liked to close his eyes while kissing, but he remembered that Isaiah liked to watch, so he didn’t.
The lighting was terrible, the downpour incessant, but for a moment Zack stared back at Isaiah and felt a strange, buoyant feeling in his stomach, a helium sort of lightness that made him want to trace Isaiah’s eyebrows, not arched right now, but soft. Relaxed.
“We’re getting soaked out here,” Zack murmured, looking away.
“I’ll lend you something to wear home. Unless you feel like spending the night.”
I can’t spend the night with you. It’s not like that. We aren’t like that.
This time Zack was the one leading them into a dance. Nothing fancy. He adjusted his hands and moved his feet, and Isaiah followed, effortlessly yielding.
Maybe they could spend the night together without things getting tricky. Other people could. Maybe Zack could be like other people for once, even though it was crossing one of his lines. Specifically his spending the night is two steps up from casual line. Rain dripped down under the collar of his jacket and he shivered.
Isaiah held him closer as they swayed in a fall of yellow light split by thousands of rain drops.
He wanted to spend the night. But he didn’t want to risk the casualness of it. Not just to save himself a drive in wet clothes.
“I should go home,” he murmured, aware of how close his lips were to Isaiah’s skin.
“Sure thing.” Isaiah kissed him. “Thanks for dancing with me.”
“Anytime.”
And the most terrifying thing was how much he meant that. Zack never thought dancing sounded like a good idea, but with Isaiah? Yes. Anytime.
They made their way back down the street. He had no idea what Isaiah was thinking. It was enough to be trapped in the echo chamber of his head, trying to find an angle that would make spending the night together the reasonable thing to do. But it wasn’t. Tempting, yes, and once they had sex—which they almost certainly would—it’d be even more tempting. Curl up in Isaiah’s bed with him, share warmth, feel each other’s presences, hear each other’s breaths.
Wake up in the morning. Coffee. Fruit, maybe. Zack didn’t have to work.
He stopped walking. “Wait.”
Isaiah turned. “What’s up?”
“I don’t have to work in the morning.”
Those artistically raised eyebrows.
“I mean, I…I don’t usually spend the night when something’s casual. That just…that muddies the waters. But I…you offered, and I…” Why was this so hard? He knew the words. It couldn’t be this hard to say them. “Well, I want to.”
“I want you to. Stay with me, Zack. It doesn’t have to muddy the waters. It could just be the most logical choice tonight, because of the rain, and you’re off tomorrow, and I just bought really exceptional coffee.” Isaiah paused, smiling. “You could help me drink it.”
“Oh god. I was just thinking about that.” The wind picked up again and he remembered he was chilled. Deeply chilled. He started walking again, and when Isaiah took his arm, he hooked his own through so they were closer than they had been. Closer than they needed to be, probably.
Except in this moment Zack felt a strong desire to be even closer.
“Just tonight, though. Because it makes sense. And you have coffee.”
“Really good coffee. Let’s get your clothes in the dryer when we get inside, though.”
“Yeah. That’s…yeah. Let’s do that.” Clothes in the dryer, committed to spending the night. No need for clothes. Could he borrow a shirt to sleep in? Sleeping naked was definitely not something he did with casual contacts. Never. That was crazy.
Though not crazier than dancing in the rain.
Did Isaiah cuddle at night? Zack found himself hoping, sincerely, that he did.
Chapter Thirteen
They’d scheduled the final recording session for a Wednesday, no longer off limits now that Zack’s class was over. Isaiah wasn’t dreading it, but he was wary.
It was one thing to make time to see one another in order to make videos, or discuss marketing. He had the feeling that once everything was ironed out, the videos edited, the release dates finalized, it would be significantly harder to justify going out of his way to see Zack.
And whatever his potential constraints, Zack’s would be worse.
But man, waking up with Zack in his bed had been…unexpectedly gratifying. He’d known it would be good to sleep with Zack. Between the ways the man challenged him and the ways he snuggled in when he didn’t think anyone would judge him, Isaiah had been confident that spending the night together was going to end well.
