Simply Sinful: Lost Angels MC, page 7
He heaves a big sigh and then looks back into my face. He studies me for a few minutes before he speaks again, “I don’t hate him, but you know that. If I did, I wouldn’t be so hard on him, and I wouldn’t have ever let him in my club.”
“You’re right, I do know, but he doesn’t,” I cross my arms across my own chest this time. “I think you need to go talk to him, because I’ve decided that I’m going to give us another shot. I love you, Daddy, that will never change, so I need you two to get along.”
For long seconds we look at one another. Again, he sighs but he gets up from his chair and I hear the front door shut behind him.
Chapter 11
God damn it, I can’t believe I fucking cried in front of Ric. Jesus! He will never let me live that down. I’ll be lucky if it doesn’t get back to the guys in the club. Fuck! I gotta get out of here.
I couldn’t help it as Em stood up for me in there. Her eyes alight and determined. I’m not used to anyone doing that for me, my own damn mother didn’t, so why would I expect anyone else to shout my worth? I don’t have many redeeming qualities, but hearing her say that I had more than I thought, even after all this time, it did funny things to my insides.
I straddle my bike, but before I can kick start it, the front door of the house shuts and I jerk my head to see Ric heading my way.
“Before you go,” he pats me on my leathers as he leans against Em’s car, “I’ve got a few things to say to you.” His large arms cross over his chest again. His posture is relaxed, but mine is tight as a bow’s string.
“When you were growing up, I knew your parents, I mean before your dad skipped town,” he begins, and it pulls me up short and I interrupt him.
“You knew my dad?”
“Yeah, I did, he’s a piece of work.”
“Mom never told me anything about him. Every time I brought him up, she’d shut me down before I could get the words out.”
“Like I said, he’s a piece of work, and I know you don’t believe me, but you were better off without him.”
“What...what’s his name?”
“Look, maybe I’ll tell you about him after what I’m out here for, but that’s not what I came to talk about. Alright?”
I cross my own arms, because fuck me sideways he has withheld information that I deserve to know, and the fact he won’t offer it straight away brings my anger to the surface. “Fine,” I say because whatever he came out here to say I know has to be important too.
“Good, now like I was saying, your parents weren’t good for each other. They fought much like you and Em do. You impassion Em like I’ve seen no one else before or since. You can see how that made me dislike the match from the beginning. Your dad got your mom into drugs in the first place. Completely ruined her when he left, and she went down a very self-destructive path after that. As you know she never dug herself out of it. It’s a damn shame. You know... your mom was the prom queen back when we were in school.” I didn’t know actually, but when I don’t say anything he goes on with his story.
“Anyways, I just knew I didn’t want Em to be exposed to the same shit. That’s why I tried to keep you two apart.” He takes one of his hands and rubs the back of his neck. “It took me several years to realize even though you were exposed to it at birth, you grew up to be a decent kid. So when you came back to town, I knew it was the right decision to give you a place in the club. You needed the sense of family that you lacked most of your life, but even still, you rebelled against us. It was too late that I realized giving you tough love wouldn’t work, but I’m,” he runs a hand against the hair of his beard, looking down at the ground as he says his next words, “not really built to show love any other way,” then he chuckles, “that’s why Emmy is so damn thick-headed, like me.” He looks into my eyes, “I’m sorry I couldn’t give you what you needed.”
His arms go right back against his chest as he takes me in, waiting for my response or maybe any reaction. Fuck! “You did,” and then I started to tear up again. Looking down at my bike I hastily whip at the tears and grow even angrier when they won’t stop coming.
His hand comes down on my shoulder. “It’s alright to let all that go, you know. Holding onto everything for so long only stops new stuff from filling you up, and you need that more than anyone else I know. Em is a good place to start. I might have thought you weren’t good for her, but she will be good for you,” he pats me on the back as he starts to walk towards his front door again, “take your time, and come back in for dessert when you’re ready.”
His words seem to realize the dam that I had built up inside of myself, and suddenly I am crying in earnest. I can no longer see my bike underneath me, it’s become a blurred object, as I weep for all that I’ve lost, and for the life I’ve lived. I cry knowing that he has given me the approval I’ve sought for years, and the approval to be all I want to be, with Em by my side.
“Cole?” I hear her voice and I try hard to wipe all the tears from my eyes before she’s by my side. When she tilts my chin up, she sees all that I can’t hide, and without another word she has me wrapped in her embrace. Her hug is tight, and under other circumstances I would say a bit too restricting, but right then it’s all that keeps me together. She doesn’t make a sound the whole time, doesn’t whisper any false reassurances, just continues to be a silent and steady anchor in my storm. She allows me to cry, until I can’t cry anymore, and I slump against her.
Several seconds go by, neither of us saying a thing, but when she does it’s not what I expect. “Martha has made her famous triple chocolate pie. You can finally try it!” She pulls me by the hand after I un-straddle my bike and drags me up to the front door. When we make it to her front stoop, she takes me in, and wipes tears from my cheeks and brushes a strand of hair that’s made it onto my forehead. With gentle hands she takes my cheeks and pulls me down for a soft kiss on my lips. One of my hands makes it to her back to bring her closer to me, and I let the kiss linger longer than I know she intended, but again she seems to know exactly what I need.
When she pulls back, she smiles up at me, grabs my hand again and we make it to the table just in time for pie.
I stay for a good two hours afterwards at the table making a plan with Em about what our next steps are. No one speaks on what was said earlier, or how Ric left me, or how Em found me and brought me back inside. For that I’m grateful, but there’s one thing that weighs heavy on my mind, despite all that my mind had to navigate through, I know it is something that will continue to loop back, Ric knew my father...and I’m damn determined to know who he was.
****
The next several days are so damn busy. I drive Em’s car as she navigates me all over Ohio buying things for the wedding and negotiating prices with vendors. We finally find a place that’s available to host the actual wedding, but there wasn’t time slotted for the day to have the reception there. In the end, all of our searching isn't needed, come to find out Lidia had already thought of the solution and told us to forego the venue. Apparently, her back yard will be the place for both the wedding and reception. I'm not sure how we are going to swing that but I don't have a say. She asked that we head back to Em's hotel to get the things we already gathered and bring them to her house. Something about comparing lists. The plan...apparently, needs altering again.
Chapter 12
“I wish you still had your old truck. I don't know how we’re going to get all this stuff over to Lidia's house,” I say as soon as we enter my hotel room and assess how much has accumulated for the event.
“I do still have the truck.”
“Really? It still runs?”
“Don't disrespect the truck.”
“I wouldn’t dare,” I gasp fanning offense. “Will you go get it?”
“Right now?”
“Yes, Lidia wants us there as soon as we can get it all together.”
“Yeah, sure, I’ll be back in about twenty minutes, okay?”
“Yep that works, I’ll try and have everything close to the door by the time you get here.”
It did take him about as long as he said, and it took me less time than I thought to scoot everything towards the door. It took us a few trips, but soon we had most of it in the bed of the truck. When he pushes up the tailgate I’m not sure if I want to cry or laugh. To not seem like a complete nut job, I’m glad I decide on laughter, but crying is still a possibility.
“I can’t believe it has stayed on so long!” I point out the little troll right where it seems to have always been. It’s faded for sure, the pink just a tint, the corners peeling all around it, but considering the age of the sticker, it's held up remarkably well.
“It’s as stubborn as you are.”
I laugh as I punch him in the arm. “Hey now, be nice.”
“Always, now let's go, apparently we have girly shit to do.” I get in another punch. Once he is in his seat, he rubs his arm, stating, “I’m delicate, you’re going to leave bruises if you don’t stop using me as a punching bag.”
“Oh whatever,” I say smiling.
“I’m serious, at least then I can guilt you into accepting to go on a date with me.”
“I’m not sure why you’d want to.”
“How else are we going to give this,” he gestures between us, “another shot?”
I shrug. “You’re not going to take this slow, are you?”
“I already gave you an orgasm.” I can feel my cheeks heat as the memory floods my mind. “I think going on a date is taking a step back,” he shrugs, “unless you just want that to be a base for our beginning,” he wiggles his eyebrows. I smack him on the arm and point to the windshield as I start to giggle.
“Eyes on the road, buddy, we know it does neither of us good if you get distracted.”
He sits up straighter, “I’m not even in drive yet, and I'm an excellent driver, never in my life have I gotten into an accident.”
“Mmmmhmmm,” I hum, "I'll meet you at Lidia's." With that I shut him in his truck.
Once we park, I call over to him, “I’m going in to get you some help.”
“Yeah, alright,” he nods as he walks to the back of the truck.
When I make it to the porch, I see Lidia standing at the front window, and she waves me in with a smile.
“Hey! Are Echo and Tank around? Cole could use some help with the stuff.”
Lidia nods, and calls out for them. I sidle up to her wondering what she’s looking at so intensely. So, I too look out and only see the truck and Cole. Before I can ask what is on her mind she starts to speak.
“Isn’t it strange?” she asks, and since her eyes are unfocused, staring at nothing, I’m unsure if the question is being directed at me, but I answer her anyways.
“What’s strange?”
“How you can be desperately in love with someone even when you haven’t spoken to or seen them in years. It’s incredible that despite the distance, the two of you hold a connection as if you never left in the first place. I suppose that’s just how love is, you either love them forever or you never loved them to begin with. Now that I’ve found it for myself, I know my love wouldn’t leave me just because I left or if either Tank or Echo did,” she says sucking on her bottom lip.
“That would never happen,” Tank says as he wraps his arms around her. A smile instantly brightens her features. He leans in to nuzzle her neck, after a kiss to her cheek.
“You’re not getting out of this alive,” Echo says, suddenly appearing behind them and wrapping his arms around both of them.
It makes Lidia giggle. “Good to know. Now get going, Cole is waiting for you to help him with the stuff in the back of his truck.”
They grumble but they untangle themselves from her. She can’t seem to help grabbing ahold of Echo’s forearm as he passes, or smacking Tank’s ass either. Tank looks back with a wicked grin before following Echo out the door. She sucks on her bottom lip, looking tangled in her thoughts once more. This time I have a good idea what she's thinking.
“What makes you think I’m desperately in love?” I ask, still taken aback by her proclamation.
She stops sucking on her lip to look over at me. Her hands go instantly to her hips. “You can’t be serious? You should look at yourself when you’re around him, or how you look at him. That dreamy, drunk look. I knew the first time you brought him here, stealing glances while he slept on my couch.”
“I don’t look at him like that,” I look through the window again that we were watching the guys hauling stuff from the truck.
When a light goes off near my face I jerk back and look over. Lidia’s smirking down at her phone, like a damn Cheshire cat. “What are you doing over there?”
She looks up, but the smile is still in place when she turns her phone my way. I’m seeing myself, with a near identical expression that Lidia has when gazing at Tank and Echo. “Shit,” I breathe. I look back outside and then at Lidia, “I’m as fucked as you are.”
“Goodness me, I hope so. If the sex isn’t as half as good as mine, I think you should reconsider, though I still think he’s a prick.”
I smack her on the arm, muttering, “Knock it off you perv.”
“Not a chance. So, what are you going to do about it?”
“I guess go on that date he’s been asking me on.”
“Go as soon as the truck and car are cleared out,” she says.
“I couldn't,” I say, “I promised I would help get some of this put together.”
She waves me off, “Brook is heading over soon, and you deserve a break. You’ve been running around for me like a mad woman trying to help me out. So I insist. If you come back tonight, which I hope you don’t,” the wicked smile is back, “then you can help with whatever me and Brook don’t get finished, okay?”
I give her a hug, “I hope you know what you’re letting me get into.”
She chuckles, “I hope a real good romping.”
We both start to laugh.
****
We take a seat at one of the booths along the wall in the only decent eatery in town. A lady that's seen years in a place like this hands us menus. “What would you like to drink?”
“Water for me, please,” I say.
“Same for me,” Cole nodes.
“Two waters, I'll be back to get your order.” With that I look down at my menu. I imagine it'll be the cheeseburger for me.
“Poppy? Is it really you?” I hear Cole ask. I lift my head from the menu to see a woman close to our age twisting to look directly over at us. There's something familiar about her.
“Cole?” she questions. As she gets closer, I know why she looks familiar. It's almost like looking in a mirror, except, her eyes are the prettiest shade of blue. “Oh my God, it is you. What are you doing here?”
“I live right outside of town.”
“No way!? How long?”
“Couple of years now.”
She smiles. “It's a wonder we haven't seen each other before now. I'm here every few months to see Dan.”
“Why here? I though he lived in Chicago.”
“He did, but then Daddy died, and he had to take this place over,” she gestures around the diner.
“No shit? I never would have put this place and Dan together. Danny's has been here forever it seems. Sorry to hear about your dad though, he was a good guy.”
“It's alright, cancer was eating the best parts of him, now he can at least rest. I'm glad Dan came back to Ohio, you remember how he was, he's calmed a lot since then.”
Neither of them have looked my way since they started catching up, I'm starting to feel out of place, a third wheel to be honest.
“You should visit the next time you're in Virginia. I still live in the same apartment.”
“Sure, I'll do that,” he says to my astonishment. Okay, it's time for me to leave.
I start to slide out of the booth, but I pause as Cole says. “Where are you going?”
“I just remembered I have an appointment in ten minutes,” I get all the way out and stand. “You two seem like you've got plenty to catch up on anyways. Take my spot.” Somehow, I keep a smile on my face the whole time. I hand the menu to Poppy. She looks at me as if she knows me, she opens her mouth, but I bolt out the door before she can say whatever it is on her mind. Before I can reach my car, the door of the restaurant swings open again and Cole is after me.
“Em, I know you don’t have anywhere to be. So where are you going?”
“Away, Cole,” I tell him over my shoulder. I yank on my car door and realize that I need my keys to unlock the damn thing. Um! How do I end up in these situations? Haven’t I learned anything?
“What the hell for?”
I turn to look at him as I dig into my pants pocket for my keys. “Playing third wheel is something I’ve already done, and I refuse to play again.”
“Third wheel? What are you talking about?”
“Poppy and you look really familiar, I’d hate to interfere.”
His body relaxes. “Would you please stop fucking jumping to conclusions?”
“Aha!” I say as I pull my keys out and turn back to my car to ignore his question.
“You know, you really need to knock it off. Sure, Poppy and I have a history,” he says, but it doesn’t stop me from putting the key into my door. “It was while I was in foster care. Did you really expect me to mope around and not try to move on? I know you did.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I turn around. “You don’t hear me accepting a visit to their apartment.”
“I only said that to be polite,” he crosses his arms over his chest. “When I came after you, you were already deep in college life, that’s how I know.”
“Don’t be polite, you aren’t with anyone else! And what are you even...wait...you came after me?”
