Twisted Ties, page 9
part #2 of Ties Series
She reached down and began pushing up my shirt. Surprised, I let go of her. She fell back down onto me and started kissing me again. I groaned as her tongue teased my lips until I opened them. As soon as I did, her tongue slipped inside to caress mine. She ran her fingers across my stomach, causing me to jump.
She smiled as she sat up and started tugging on my shirt. “Take this off.”
I sat up and pulled my shirt over my head. She grabbed the bottom of her shirt and lifted it over her head as I threw mine aside. She tossed hers down onto the floor and reached behind her to unclasp her bra. As soon as she had it free, she slipped it off and threw it somewhere behind her.
“Shit,” I groaned as I stared up at her.
I leaned up and ran my tongue across her nipple. She arched her back to give me better access. I sucked one nipple into my mouth as I started tweaking her other with my fingers. I lifted her and laid her on the bed beside me before climbing on top of her.
“I’ve missed you so much,” I whispered.
“I missed you, too. Please, Jesse, it’s been so long. I can’t wait any longer. I need you inside me.”
Emma snapped her fingers in front of my face. “Earth to Jesse. Hello?”
I blinked. After I realized that I’d just imagined that, I wanted to beat my head against the wall.
“What?” I asked.
“You said you wanted to talk, so start talking. Where did you just go?”
“Nowhere. I was just thinking.”
“Okay…why are you here?” she asked.
“To talk.”
She rolled her eyes. “Are you being an ass on purpose? Or does it just come naturally?”
“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to be an ass. I came here to talk about what’s going on between Ally and me.”
Her eyes grew hard. “I really don’t need to know the details. I took sex education. I know how babies are made.”
“It’s not what you think—” I started.
But she held up her hand. “Look, we’re not together anymore. You don’t owe me an explanation. You can stick your you-know-what wherever you please. It’s not my concern anymore, and it hasn’t been for a long time.”
“So, I guess I should feel the same about Andy and you.”
Her eyes widened. I’d struck a nerve.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I got the gist of it. I have to admit, I never saw that one coming.” I knew I should shut up, but I couldn’t seem to get the message to my mouth. “At least you waited until I left to fuck him. I appreciate that.”
“Shut up, Jesse.”
“Why? It’s okay for you to fuck Andy, but you can’t talk about it? Come on, I thought we were having a nice conversation.”
“Fuck you!”
“You already did,” I shot back.
I instantly regretted my words as tears filled her eyes. I was the biggest asshole alive.
“I knew she’d tell you,” she whispered. “She would do anything to make you hate me. It was an accident. We never meant to have—”
“She didn’t tell me,” I cut her off. I didn’t need to know how it had happened. “She just confirmed what I suspected after I saw you two together the first time.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Come on, Emma, I’m not stupid. I knew you were together as soon as he hit me. It wasn’t that hard to figure out. How did you two end up together anyway? I have to admit I’m curious about that part. Did you guys do it just to get back at me after I left, and then you both realized that you actually liked each other? Or did you already know something was there before I even left? At least I know you well enough to know that you’d never cheat on me while we were together.”
I couldn’t understand why I kept saying every hurtful thing that I could think of. I knew I was hurting her, but I couldn’t seem to stop. I’d come here to make her feel better, and I’d done the exact opposite.
“What about you? Don’t tell me that the first time you slept with Ally, you got her pregnant. You know what they say—practice makes perfect.”
“I didn’t—” I stopped myself.
I’d already screwed up my chances of keeping Emma from hating me. After what I’d just said to her about Andy, nothing I told her would make her hate me any less. I wouldn’t give away Ally’s secret. I couldn’t. If I hadn’t fucked up royally five minutes ago, I might have. But now, there was nothing left to save here. I’d destroyed it all.
“I should go.”
“I think that is the best thing you’ve said since you walked in here,” Emma said as she stomped to the door and threw it open.
I walked by without looking at her. I had just ruined any chance of us even being friends.
“Jesse?”
I turned to look at her. “Yeah?”
“Stay the fuck away from me.”
I slammed the door in his face. There was a whole five seconds where I felt empowered before I slowly slid down the door and curled up on the floor. Tears ran down my cheeks as I thought about everything he’d just said to me.
He’d used every single thing he could think of to degrade me and make me feel like trash. He’d even used my friendship with Andy against me. Jesse thought Andy and I were together. I had no idea how Jesse had come to that conclusion, but if I had to guess, I would bet that Ally had something to do with it. He’d said she’d only confirmed what he’d guessed, so that meant that they’d talked about Andy and me being together. She’d probably told him that Andy and I had slept together, so he would think the worst of me. I’d tried to explain to Jesse that Andy and I weren’t together, but Jesse had refused to give me the chance. It was obvious that he had already made up his mind about Andy and me.
I knew I’d screwed up with Andy after Jesse left, but I couldn’t believe Jesse would think that I’d end up with his best friend.
Doesn’t Jesse realize that every time I look at Andy, I think of him?
Lucy and I had started to grow apart long before I left, and Andy had stepped in and filled her place without either of us realizing what was happening. He was like family to me despite what had happened, and I could never think of him that way. He’d never stopped his man-whore ways either, so I knew there was no chance that he felt that way about me either.
“You smell so good,” I panted.
“You taste good,” he muttered before running his tongue across my skin.
Goose bumps erupted across my skin as he continued to kiss and lick his way across my skin. He raised me up long enough to pull my shirt over my head before pushing me back down onto the couch. His hands skimmed across my stomach, causing my muscles to jump. His kisses felt like fire as he kissed between my breasts and down my stomach. I wiggled my hips, trying to feel his thickness against me.
He held my hips down as he kissed back up my body. His arms pushed underneath me, and he undid the clasp on my bra. A voice in the back of my head was screaming at me, telling me that this was a bad idea, but I pushed it away. I just wanted to feel his hands on me. I needed to feel wanted.
“We need to go to my room in case anyone comes home,” he whispered in my ear as my bra fell away.
He stood and picked me up. I wrapped my arms and legs around him as he carried me to his room. I ran my tongue along his jaw before sucking on his neck. If it bothered him, he didn’t complain.
He dropped me down onto his mattress and climbed back on top of me. He pulled his shirt off and threw it down beside the bed. I reached up and ran my hands across his chest. I leaned forward and kissed a trail across his chest. He shuddered as he pushed me back down and started kissing me again. He sat up and reached for my shorts. I lifted my hips, allowing him to slip them along with my underwear off. His shorts and his boxers came off next.
I suddenly felt nervous. No one had seen me like this except for Jesse, and I barely knew Andy. But Jesse had cheated on me. He didn’t care about me, and he never had. It was time to move on even if it was for only one night. Andy’s body covered mine, and I pushed Jesse from my mind.
I watched as Andy reached over and grabbed a condom from the nightstand drawer. He ripped it open and slipped it on. I closed my eyes as he lowered his body over mine, and then he slipped inside. My breath hitched as he filled me.
This wasn’t about emotions. This was about getting off.
Andy started thrusting as I raised my hips. I clung to him as he worked to push me over the edge. My breathing grew ragged as he brought me closer and closer to the edge. I tightened my legs around him to bury him deeply inside me as I came. He groaned as he released with me.
When our heartbeats slowed down, he slipped out and threw the condom away. We were both silent as he climbed back into bed with me. He didn’t hold me, and I didn’t expect him to.
“Well, isn’t this cute?”
I opened my eyes to see sunlight coming through a window. My head was fuzzy as I tried to figure out where I was. The events of the night before came crashing back as my eyes landed on Andy in bed beside me.
“Sorry to wake you.”
My head snapped up to see Ally standing in the doorway. Oh god, this couldn’t be happening. There was no way that I’d slept with Andy last night. There was no way that Ally had just walked in to see what I’d done.
Andy groaned and rolled over. He opened his eyes enough to see me beside him and Ally across the room. His eyes widened as he stared back at me. It was obvious that he was as shocked as I was.
“I would say I’m surprised, but I’m not,” Ally said as she watched us digest everything.
I wanted to slap the stupid smile she was wearing right off her face.
“Get out of here,” Andy said quietly.
Ally laughed. “I’m going, I’m going. I just want to savor this for another minute or two. I always knew she was a slut. This just proves that I was right. Jesse has been gone for, what? A month? She barely waited a month before she moved on with his best friend.”
“Get out!” Andy roared.
Ally rolled her eyes, and then she turned and walked out. Andy waited until she closed the door before he rolled over to look at me. We both stared at each other, unable to think of anything to say.
“This can’t be happening,” Andy finally groaned as he looked away and stared up at the ceiling.
“I don’t even know what to say.”
“I do. We fucked up—big time. I’m sorry, Emma. I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
That stung a little even though it shouldn’t. From what Jesse had told me, Andy slept with everyone without a second thought, but he now regretted sleeping with me. My eyes welled up with tears. This whole situation was a mess.
“Hey, don’t cry. I didn’t mean it that way. I just meant that you’re Jesse’s girl—or at least, you used to be. You’re an attractive chick, but last night should have never happened. I didn’t invite you over with the intention of sleeping with you. I’m an asshole, but I’m not that big of an asshole.”
I gave him a weak smile as tears continued to flow. “I feel like I cheated on him. I know it’s stupid, but I can’t help it.”
Andy sighed. “Look, we were both messed-up. There’s nothing we can do now. Let’s just pretend that it never happened and move on.”
“That’s a great plan—except Ally knows. She hates me, and she can use this against me. All of your friends know that I was with Jesse. If Ally tells them that I slept with you, everyone will think that I’m a slut. I don’t want that to get back to my school. I can’t handle that.”
“I’ll deal with Ally. She can be a hard-ass, but she’s my sister. She won’t say anything if I ask her not to.”
“Are you sure?”
He nodded. “I’m sure.”
“Thank you. Andy?”
“What?”
“I need to go, but I’m naked.”
“Oh shit.” He laughed. “I’m so torn between embarrassing the fuck out of you or being the nice guy.”
“Andy, I will kill you.”
“Fine.” He threw the covers off of himself and stood.
My cheeks flamed as I stared at a naked Andy. “You’re an ass.”
“What? I’m just getting up, so I can get dressed. I’ll leave you alone to find your clothes.”
I stayed silent as he grabbed a pair of shorts and threw them on. He grinned as he walked to the door and opened it.
“See? I’m just being a nice guy.”
“Out!” I yelled.
He simply laughed again as he closed the door behind him. I waited a few minutes to make sure that he was really gone before I stood and started searching for my clothes. My bra and shirt were in the living room, so I searched until I found a baggy shirt of his to wear home.
When I opened his door and walked into the living room, he was nowhere to be seen. I grabbed my shirt, bra, and keys before slipping silently outside to where my car was parked.
I shook my head to push the memories away. What was done is done, and there isn’t a thing I can do to change it. I’d regretted sleeping with Andy for the last two years, but I’d accepted it. We’d made a mistake while drinking—that was all. We’d rarely talked about it since, and we had become really good friends after that night. Everything happened for a reason, and I knew that we never would have ended up as friends if I hadn’t gone over there that day.
I just hated that Jesse knew.
No, I didn’t hate that he knew. I hated the fact that I wasn’t the one who had told him. If things had worked out the way I’d hoped, I would have told him eventually…maybe. Of course, things never worked out the way I wanted. I’d never factored Ally into the equation, and she was the one who had screwed up everything. She always did. It was her fault that Jesse and I had split in the beginning. It was her fault that he’d left. It was her fault that he knew about what had happened between Andy and me. It was her fault that I couldn’t be with him now.
It was all her fault.
No, that last part wasn’t her fault. Jesse obviously wanted to be with her, or he wouldn’t be. She might be the reason that we weren’t together, but it was his choice to be with her now. I hated her for everything that she’d done, but I hated her for what she couldn’t control most of all. No matter how much she schemed, she couldn’t control his feelings for her. She couldn’t make him love her, but he did anyway.
I wanted this all to go away. I wanted to go back in time, to be back in California, living the life I’d had before Jesse had come into it and changed everything. I wanted to be the girl I had been before, the girl who had never been hurt. It was amazing how one person could walk into my life and change everything. I was tired of hurting over a man who had moved on. I wanted to move on, too. I just wasn’t sure how. It was obvious that going to Sam’s party hadn’t helped. It had only made things worse. I just wanted to forget everything that Jesse had made me feel. If I could do that, I would be okay.
It was time that I figured out what I wanted to do with my life instead of hanging on to the past. There was nothing left for me from back then. I needed to accept that and figure out where I wanted to go from here.
West Virginia was great, but I wasn’t sure that I could stay here. There was always a chance that I would run into Jesse or Ally here, and I didn’t need that. I needed to be far away from both of them. I knew Andy would understand. He always had. The only question was whether or not he would follow me if I didn’t go back to California. I knew he’d come to West Virginia to help me with Jesse, but if I left, there was no reason for him to go with me. I wasn’t sure how I would handle being on my own and starting over completely.
I knew I couldn’t stay here, but I didn’t want to go home either. So, where do I want to be? I knew my dad would help me get to wherever I wanted. I just wasn’t sure where my destination would be.
I thought about the colleges I’d applied to last year. There were several that I’d been interested in despite my need to find Jesse. I could go to one of them. I smiled as a plan began to form in my head. I would stay here until the semester was over, and then I was going to transfer to a new school.
I stood and walked to my desk. I grabbed a piece of paper and started writing down the schools that I’d been genuinely interested in—University of California, Washington State University, Florida State University, Boston University, New York University. The University of California was in Los Angeles - too close to home, so that one was out. It rained a lot in Washington, so that one was out, too. That left me with three choices. I stared down at the paper, trying to decide where my life would take me.
I finally decided on New York. It was pretty much as far away from home as I could get without leaving the country. Plus, tons of people were there. Surely, I’d find a friend and a way to start over.
I tore the sheet of paper out of my notebook and put it in my desk drawer. I needed to think this through before I made my final decision. Plus, I wanted to talk to Andy. I wanted him to come with me, but I knew the chances of that happening were slim. I still had to try though. After I talked to him, I’d call my dad to see if he would help me. I knew he probably would, but I didn’t want to assume anything.
I would figure things out, and when I did, I was going to start living again.
I stared at the door Emma had just slammed in my face. I couldn’t believe that I’d said those things to her. I’d never meant to hurt her. I’d knocked on her door with every intention of telling her the truth about Ally, but the whole conversation had gone south before I had the chance. Emma had to think that I was the biggest asshole alive. For all I knew, she still believed that I’d cheated on her with Ally two years ago, and now, she thought that Ally was pregnant with my kid. It was like the entire world had decided that she needed to think the absolute worst of me.
Only Ally and I knew the truth. I’d done absolutely nothing wrong last time or this time. I was just the asshole who had been dealt a shit hand when it came to my relationship with Emma. If things were different now, maybe Emma would have been willing to give me a second chance. My promise to Ally and her relationship with Andy stood in the way. The two people who had meant the most to me for so many years were the ones who were destroying what I wanted.
