Their Save-the-Date Charade, page 14
Still took over her mind and body.
And the only way Lulu could see herself shaking it off was giving it what it demanded. Help him.
So, with her palm over his knuckles, she said, “I told you about my divorce, about my…miscarriage.”
Without speaking a word, Alwan interlaced his fingers with hers. He squeezed her hand, offering solace through the contact.
A flood of gratitude pinched at her eyes, but blinking fast, Lulu held the tears at bay.
This wasn’t about her. She was trying to help him.
“What I didn’t tell you was that just before I left, right after I purchased the RV, I saw my ex and the subject of trying to restore our marriage came up. I—I almost considered doing it. Going back. Forgetting about my plans to hit the road. I wavered on what path was best for me,” she said, her voice an octave above a whisper but cracking like a whip in the hush of his closet.
Seeing Alwan’s eyes go soft with sorrow had her rushing through the rest before she lost the courage to continue.
“In the end I realized I had to move forward. That being nervous, even scared doesn’t mean that you’re making a wrong decision. Sometimes it’s usually a sign that it’s exactly the path you need to be on right now.”
Alwan didn’t speak immediately, his fingers gently squeezing hers, his gaze roving over her face. But then he unexpectedly tugged at her hand and pulled her into an embrace.
Lulu froze and let him hold her while her brain processed what was happening and why her heart was hammering against her ribs and her stomach churned from an explosion of butterflies. She didn’t know how long they stood like that, but eventually Alwan drew back, his arms still holding her close to him, his warm eyes shining down over her as if she’d just hung the moon for him.
“Luula, I—I don’t know what I’d do without you by my side.”
His words and adorable stammer slowly melted her and when he hugged her again, she lifted her arms and wrapped them around his middle and shyly pressed her heated face into his chest. For a moment she let herself exist nowhere else but in the cozy security of his embrace.
She knew she’d have to let go soon.
But that only made her want to cling to him even more.
Cling to this life they’d shared together for the past few months.
Being Alwan’s fake fiancée wasn’t at all what she’d imagined it would be like. And though this wavering in her heart and mind was exactly what she hadn’t wanted happening—what she hadn’t ever thought would happen, Lulu reminded herself that none of it was true. Her affection and attraction, perhaps. She did actually like him. But the rest of it was nothing more than a contract with a fast-approaching deadline.
The reality was Alwan could’ve had any other woman stand in her place right then. He’d pretty much said it himself. She was his first option because of her divorce and the unlikelihood that she’d want anything more from this charade of theirs.
He picked her solely for the reason that she wouldn’t desire love from him.
That she wouldn’t wish for their relationship to be real.
Deluding herself into thinking she was special would only end in the kind of trouble that had her picking up the pieces of her heart all on her own. Again.
Lulu was almost relieved then when a familiar pain radiated from her lower back as it was a reminder that she shouldn’t be hugging him.
When she groaned softly, Alwan heard her and pulled back instantly, his hands on her upper arms softly kneading her tense muscles and his gorgeous face gripped with concern for her.
Before he could ask, she unclenched her teeth and said, “I’m all right. Just my time of the month, and nothing a pain reliever can’t handle.” Moving back from him then, she created much-needed space between them and walked over to where she’d left her chain clutch.
Alwan was her shadow, standing close at hand while she took the medicine from her purse.
“It seems like the pain is pretty awful. Do you always manage it this way?” he asked, now scowling and folding his arms.
Annoyance flared through her, hot and steady. It was a welcome change to the longing ache left behind after she’d pulled away from him. “Yes, not that it’s any of your business. Because sometimes that’s all that helps. Also, I’m very careful about the amount I take.”
“I didn’t mean to offend you,” he said, sighing after and lowering his arms, hurt blooming over his face.
It was hard to stay angry with him looking at her that way.
Even harder when he explained, “Hashim had a sports injury, a severe one that had him relying on strong pain medication for a long time before we…we lost contact with him. I didn’t mean to conflate your pain with my hang-ups on the subject.”
If any upset lingered, it was obliterated with his apology. The urge to embrace him once again swept over her, but before it could pull her under, Lulu stumbled back to the large closet’s exit with the excuse of needing water. Then she hurried away, sailing out of his bedroom and even considering heading straight for the private elevator to his condo and fleeing his home all together.
But she stopped herself from going that far.
Because I promised him.
And she intended to uphold her end of their deal. That meant the closest thing to sanctuary before they left for the charity gala was a moment of time alone in the kitchen.
Lulu pulled a bottle of chilled water from his fridge and perched herself on one of the stools at the kitchen island. She was looking around absently when she noticed one of the cabinet doors of the built-in pantry was slightly ajar, caught on something. Feeling nosy, she slid off the stool and walked over to pull the door open wider and jumped back when a closed bag of dry cat food landed on the kitchen floor.
She stared down at it, confused as to why Alwan had cat food of all things. As far as she knew he had no pets.
Unless it’s for Blueberry…
“There’s no way,” she murmured with a shake of her head, already reaching down to lift the bag off the floor and place it back where she found it. But just as she set the bag back in the pantry, she startled at the sound of her name and swung around.
Alwan was walking into the kitchen, fully dressed to the nines now. His eyes landing on her, he stopped at the entrance and tucked his hands in the pockets of his tuxedo pants, his dinner jacket unbuttoned and his dress shirt now paired with a silky waistcoat. He looked beyond good. Like he was ready to conquer the night. No, the world.
She smiled, relieved that he seemed to be feeling more confident about the evening, but also pressing a hand to her pounding heart when he slowly moved closer to her.
“Are you feeling better?” he asked, his brow lined with the worry he was tempering from his tone.
Worry for her, she recognized.
Guilt slammed into her. First, for making him concerned about her, but also at the way she’d walked off on him when he’d told her about his brother’s plight with pain medication. She only felt worse when she nodded and Alwan smiled, some of the stress easing off his face.
“Are you still angry with me?” he whispered then.
Shaking her head, Lulu bit her lip when the feeling of tears burned at her eyes. It wasn’t the first time he’d made her want to cry. And all it did was highlight the fact that despite what she kept telling herself, Alwan had sunken under her skin and burrowed deep into her in a way that she hadn’t thought he ever would.
“I am sorry if I upset you.”
“You didn’t,” she lied, then sighing, said, “Fine, maybe you did a little. But I’m not angry. Not anymore.” Certainly not after the way he sweetly apologized and looked genuinely contrite.
His smile a bit wider, Alwan chuckled.
“I’m forgiven, then?”
She tapped her chin, beaming when he laughed a little louder. “I suppose,” she said with a put-upon sigh and leaning back against the pantry door she’d forgotten to close. Oops.
Alwan was looking there now, but his reaction was unexpected. He glanced away shyly.
Lulu had fully decided to not bring up the cat food, but now that he was acting so strangely about it, she blurted, “Were you planning on getting a cat?”
He avoided her eyes and cleared his throat. “Ah. You found the cat food.”
“I did,” she said. Then realizing that she was admitting to snooping, hastily added, “I wasn’t being nosy. The door was open and I saw it peeking out. I swear.”
Alwan tossed her a quick smile. “I believe you. I might have been thinking of looking into local shelters. My home’s big but it can get lonely.”
That actually made sense. See. It had nothing to do with Blue or you. Lulu wasn’t sure why she was a little sad about it, but she couldn’t pretend that it didn’t motivate her when she said, “I could help you, if you want?”
“I’d like that,” he replied, not leaving her hanging in suspense.
“Okay, then.”
“Okay,” he said huskily, only this time his smile had an edge of sexiness, his attention fully on her and her alone. The intensity of his stare had her blushing and walking back to the kitchen island to take a big swig from her water bottle.
Seeming well aware of his effect on her, he dialed up the heat on his seductive smirk before he turned and motioned for her to follow him.
She pointed toward the exit as they headed for his bedroom and walk-in closet again.
“Aren’t we leaving?” Lulu asked, and Alwan suddenly spun back to her with that sinful smile and a pair of shoes in each hand.
“Sure. But right after you help me again. So, which will it be? Classic patent leather or crystal-embellished loafers?”
* * *
For all the years that Alwan had been dodging his parents’ invitations to their parties, he could finally understand what the fuss was all about now that he was at one.
It seemed that all of Toronto’s richest and most privileged had stepped out of their opulent homes and off their chartered planes to fete the night in style. And there wasn’t a shortage of glitz and glam. From fashionable evening wear to the luxury vehicles the guests were all arriving in, everything oozed wealth in all the splendiferous ways that affluence could be flaunted. Even the venue that the charity gala was being hosted at set the sumptuous tone for the evening.
Situated in one of Toronto’s oldest and most luxurious hotels, the ballroom harkened back to a time long past. Tall, vaulted ceilings decorated with oil paintings, gilded pilasters, arched windows and magnificent crystal chandeliers made the expansive ballroom a sight to behold and gave it an air of timelessness.
Like many other guests, Lulu was taking videos and photos with her phone, documenting everything and everyone she met. Alwan couldn’t get enough of her glittering eyes winging over to him whenever she glimpsed a celebrity she recognized, and he loved that the noise forced her to lean into him frequently so she could communicate. Her sweet, warm breath teased his ear every single time, her peppery, resinous fragrance imprinting on his lungs, and her long painted nails secured on his arm as they navigated the packed ballroom to their table.
“I don’t see your parents yet,” Lulu said, her head craning this way and that, her glossy, natural curls even springier than usual and pinned up at her crown. Her beautiful hair bounced with her every step as they searched the ballroom for his mother and father.
Worried he’d lose her in the crowd between the dance floor and the rapidly filling tables, Alwan took hold of her hand and tucked it in the crook of his elbow. “Let’s find our table first and then I’ll message them.”
He wasn’t in any hurry to hunt for his parents.
Although he recognized and was grateful that they had helped him get this far with their professional and social connections, he had done plenty of work too. Besides, this was something they couldn’t assist him with even if they wanted to. And he had Lulu there for support. Alwan couldn’t think of anyone else he’d want by his side right then. He’d even already decided that if nothing else came of the night, at least he was able to share it with her.
It’s not like we have a lot of moments like this left.
When that happened soon, in about a month, he’d miss her more than he ever conceived he would or thought possible. Had he known he’d feel this way about her, Alwan would never have proposed the fake engagement to her.
Not that he regretted it.
How could he when looking at her, touching her, breathing the same air as her made him so wholly, incomprehensibly, deliriously happy?
Alwan aimed a dopey smile down at her as she looked around and snapped more photos, seemingly oblivious to his powerful feelings for her. Meanwhile he wondered how any of this had transpired. After the lengths he’d gone to avoid it. The sudden trip to Alberta, the fake engagement, even his decision to choose her and not any other woman—none of it had stopped him from doing the very thing he’d planned would never happen to him.
I love her, don’t I?
He knew the answer, and so did his heart as it skipped a beat every time Lulu so much as beamed up at him or clutched her fingers tighter around his arm.
I love her, he thought as they reached their table and greeted the other guests already seated.
He should’ve been happy about the arranged seating because there was a popular reality TV doctor, a pair of brand influencers with tens of millions of followers between them, an A-list actor and even a Grammy-award-winning rapper he often listened to on his commutes to work. Though they were all different, they all had three things Alwan needed for his legal practice: success, money and influence. Mingling with the metropolitan elite had been his goal all along, and here was his chance.
But instead of lauding and reaping his good luck, Alwan could barely focus, his attention diverting every other second to his very lovely—very fake—fiancée beside him and the fact that he loved Lulu so fiercely he could think of nothing else.
And he might have wasted the whole night doing just that had Lulu not intervened.
She made it look natural, lightly bumping her foot against his beneath the table, waiting until he looked at her before leaning in, her hand falling over his chest right above his thumping heart, her face drawing near until her lips hovered next to his ear.
“Are you okay?”
He jerked a nod, hyperfocused on every part of her. Her temptingly sweet perfume, her soft brown eyes, her glistening lips and her soft curls brushing his cheek as she moved in closer to whisper in his ear again.
“Just remember, believe in your dream,” she said. “It’s worth it, all right?”
Not knowing what to say, Alwan grasped her hand atop his chest and squeezed lightly, his thumb caressing the inexpensive but pretty ring she’d bought herself. It should’ve reminded him that their relationship was built on nothing more than lies they were using to fool the world into believing they were in love. But a yearning for her, for this to be real roared in him instead.
Keeping it from showing on his face when she searched his eyes was probably the toughest thing he’d done in a long while, but Alwan knew he succeeded when Lulu smiled beautifully and turned back to strike up a chat with their guests.
He followed her lead and started rubbing shoulders.
By the time the charity event officially kicked off, their hosts introducing themselves and the worthy cause that everybody had gathered to support and donate generously to, Alwan had traded contact details with half of their table and made promising connections with the rest.
The exquisite high-end dinner was worth the thousands his ticket and Lulu’s had cost him. After six courses, each more decadent and elaborately plated than the rest, Alwan almost worried he’d pop the studs and buttons off his dress shirt. So when a chamber orchestra started up a lively waltz and other gala attendants moved to the dance floor, he held a hand out to Lulu.
But she shook her head and leaned in to whisper, “I’ve never danced to this kind of music.”
He wasn’t having it, and eventually she relented with a sigh, slid her hand in his and Alwan grinned so wide his facial muscles strained from the force. Having her in his arms made the world bleed away until only they existed, just the two of them on the dance floor, swaying and twirling to the music.
For all her doubt, Lulu naturally took to the steps, never once crushing his toes. She glided in his arms, resplendent in her gown. Her crimson dress was so tonally embellished, it glimmered with her movement, every swish of the skirt’s hem whispering over the ballroom’s highly polished hardwood floor. She’d added a waist-length, matching sequined cape for what he supposed was modesty, but his eyes zeroed in on the tantalizing hints of the dress’s thin straps and her warm brown skin through the cape’s sheer material.
A fantasy of him teasingly peeling the cape and dress off her flashed through his mind. So vivid was the daydream, Alwan almost stopped them mid-twirl, reached out and plucked open the clasp to the cape at the hollow of her throat.
Instead of falling to his primal urges, he spun her around a few more times, holding her closer to him with each graceful loop around the other dancing couples on the floor. It should’ve satisfied him to be this near to her. His hand on her back, her warm, soft body pressed to his, her glittering eyes, awed smiles and chiming laughter all directed at him.
All his.
Possessiveness drummed a beat in his head that matched his fast-marching heart rate, and it nearly drowned out the finishing chord of the waltz. At the last moment he dipped her in a flourish, pulling her back up slowly against him until their bodies were flush.
Until Alwan realized that not even that was enough for him.
As the orchestra moved on to a classical pop cover, he pulled down closer to her to be heard over the noise. “Do you want to head out?”
