Their Save-the-Date Charade, page 12
Lulu turned her head up to him slowly.
Swallowing thickly, Alwan pushed himself to continue now that he’d started down this road. “Sometimes families look perfect on the outside, and that’s just it. Assumptions. Perceptions. What they hold up to the world because reality… Reality is a lot less perfect.” He gazed out at the city, the buildings and streets and trees all blurring to him. It took him a moment to realize why.
I’m crying.
Blinking fast, he coughed around the knot that formed in his throat, embarrassment heating him up from the inside out. But he couldn’t stop now. She’d ask more questions, and that wouldn’t make it easier on him. No, I have to finish this. Speak his mind and get through this as quick as possible. And hopefully, just hopefully it wouldn’t be as painful as it felt now.
Alwan unclenched his jaw. “The reality is my…my family isn’t so perfect.”
“Alwan,” Lulu whispered his name.
He wanted to look at her, but he kept his head dead straight, his vision still swimming with unshed tears.
“Hashim… We…”
Ya Rabbi.
This wasn’t easy. The only thing helping was the feeling of her hand on his arm, her fingers pressing gently and anchoring his disjointed thoughts.
“The truth is Hashim isn’t in Sudan. That was just a lie my parents told because we…we don’t know where he is.” Closing his eyes, he hurried through the rest. “We haven’t known his whereabouts for a long time now. He’s out there somewhere, or maybe he isn’t anymore. All we know is that he’s gone.” And probably never coming back.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Alwan.”
“I am too,” he said gruffly, eyes still closed and stinging from the tears he held back.
“I…don’t know what to say.”
Alwan understood how she felt. Even after all these years, it was still a lot for him to take in and accept too.
“Have you and your parents tried to look for him?”
He nodded, his head heavy. “My mom and dad hired private investigators, but any trail Hashim left led nowhere. And when my parents gave up searching, I tried, but my efforts were fruitless too.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Lulu asked, her sweet voice too alluring to ignore.
Opening his eyes, Alwan finally allowed himself to look at her and shook his head.
“Not really, no.”
When she turned to him fully, he did the same. She touched his dress shirt, her hand over his slim tie, fingers scraping his buttons as she slid her palm up. The heated trail she left in her wake was a mixture of the same physical longing he felt for her and something else…
Something just as strong but nameless.
Lulu stopped her hand above his throbbing heart and, with a compassionate smile, said, “Then we don’t talk about it.”
He recalled what Abdel had said, how Alwan cared for Lulu and she for him. At the time he couldn’t believe it, but now—now—looking down into her kind eyes, he wondered how he’d missed it. Because it was clear, on some level, that she did.
He already knew what he felt for her was a strong attraction and whatever that something else he was having trouble labeling was…
Affection, he thought after a little while, his hand curling atop Lulu’s over his chest.
That was what he was feeling and hadn’t been able to name but suspected all along.
I… I like her.
Chapter Eight
“WOW, THE SPACE has really come together.”
Lulu made the remark softly to herself as she walked into Alwan’s office. It’d been a while since she had last set foot there, and in the couple weeks of her absence, he and his newly hired staff had decorated the interior.
Potted ferns sat in a couple corners, adding spots of rich color to the sterile white walls and gray flooring. They had hung up large, framed, colorful photographs of various Toronto landmarks and brought in bookshelves that warmed the space, not that any of the legal texts sitting on the shelves were her idea of fun reading.
What she liked most though was the handwoven, vibrant Turkish rug filling the empty space at the center of the room. The reception desk sat atop it, the chair currently empty, but its smiling occupant walking toward her from one of the smaller offices.
“Hey, Luula. We weren’t expecting you, but it’s good to see you nonetheless.” Uzoma’s sunny grin was, as always, hard to resist. Freshly enrolled in a law practice program, and tech savvy like most early twentysomethings these days, Alwan’s new office manager had been a choice hire. “Were you looking for Mr. Eltahir?”
Lulu smiled at the formal deference he was showing his new boss. “I am. Has he stepped out?” She looked over at his office, the glass walls making it easy to see the room was empty.
“He’s in a meeting.” Uzoma pointed over to the larger of the three offices, the room that Alwan had repurposed into a small conference room.
On arriving, she had noticed the drawn blinds, but hadn’t assumed anyone was in there. Weird. Frowning, Lulu met Uzoma’s curious eyes.
“Is he, um, doing okay?”
“Last I checked he was fine. A little busier than usual though.”
Relief swept over her at that news.
“If it’s important, I could interrupt,” Uzoma offered. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind stepping out a moment for you.”
“It can wait,” she said just as Alwan’s paralegal strolled over to them. Like Uzoma, Jagnoor was fairly young but smart as a whip on paper and fun to be around in person.
Greeting the other woman, Lulu laughed when Jagnoor gasped, “Is that what I think it is?”
She was goggling down at the brown paper bag Lulu was holding.
“It is. I passed the food truck on the way over, and I couldn’t resist.” Lulu placed the bag down on Uzoma’s desk and stepped back, giving Jagnoor the honor of pulling out the boxes.
“I wasn’t sure what everyone would like, so I bought one of each flavor.”
Jagnoor opened a box with a happy little squeal. “You’re now officially my bestie, Lulu.”
Uzoma looked over her shoulder with a bemused laugh. “All this excitement for a cake on a stick?”
“Not just any old cake, but a cheesecake.” Jagnoor gripped the end of the stick holding the confection and held it up to him. “Look at that caramel-on-chocolate combo and convince me you aren’t drooling.”
Uzoma shrugged, leaned in and took a bite. “Mmm, okay, all right. I’ll admit it’s pretty good,” he agreed with another laugh.
“Right? And you know what would make it better? Coffee.”
“Let’s grab some, then.” Uzoma turned his bright smile from Jagnoor over to Lulu and extended the invite to join them.
“No, I’m fine, thanks. I’ll just wait here for your boss,” Lulu told them, looking over to the conference room.
They walked out together, chatting and laughing all the way.
She watched them go and already missed the diversion they offered with their humorous company. Because now she was back to worrying and hand-wringing, just as she had on the cab ride over.
It had all started when Alwan’s parents had called her at work. They usually never reached out to her and only because it was easier for them to get Alwan to pass along messages. So, feeling a little uneasy, she had phoned them back during her lunch break. Whatever it was had to be serious. Strangely though, all his mother and father wanted to know was whether she and Alwan were free to stop by the restaurant later. When she’d asked if they had plans that Alwan forgot to mention to her, they hurriedly assured her that they only wanted to have dinner with them. They had then asked her to let Alwan know since they couldn’t seem to reach him.
Lulu had tried calling him right after with the same result.
Alwan’s phone had rung and rung and gone straight to his voicemail.
She’d then tried texting, but with no luck there too.
Before long an hour had passed with no word on his end, her texts and calls still unanswered. Now concerned for a different reason, Lulu had requested finishing up her work outside her office. “For personal matters,” she’d reported to her boss. She’d then hailed a cab and headed straight for Alwan’s office building, stopping only for the cheesecake slices she’d brought.
Pacing the reception area, Lulu dropped down onto one of the comfy armchairs across from the conference room. She looked between the closed blinds and the glass door. It would be all too easy to sneak up and peek in on his meeting, but it didn’t sit right with her to spy on him. Obviously whatever was being said was private. And given the sensitive nature of his job, it wasn’t strange for him to be careful.
Still, it didn’t mean she wasn’t curious and worried.
Between that and his parents’ out-of-the-blue invitation to dinner, her nerves were wound tight and a hair trigger away from exploding on her.
Lulu tapped her foot impatiently, crossing her legs—and then uncrossing them and springing up and pacing the distance between the desk and the small open waiting area. The cool, hushed atmosphere of the office amplified the loud rattling thoughts in her head and the thumping of her heartbeat in her ears. At one point the ducts above her head knocked loudly as the air-conditioning switched on and she startled at the jarring noise.
She did it again when the door to the conference room clicked open and voices filtered into the space, one was new to her, but the other—the other had her heart pitter-pattering. Alwan. By now she could recognize his smooth-as-melted-chocolate voice blindfolded.
The man he was talking to had a nervous catch to his speech as he said, “Th-thanks again for seeing me on such short notice. I didn’t mean to drop this in your lap all over again, especially after how I reacted last time.”
“Say no more, Kyle. It’s forgiven and forgotten,” Alwan replied with a lighthearted laugh, his tone friendly. “I’ll reach out to you with a decision in the next day or so.”
Thanking him once more, Alwan’s visitor, a pale, dark-haired, bespectacled man stepped out of the conference room with Alwan closely on his heels.
Seeing her the moment they walked out, both men stopped immediately and stared at her.
Alwan spoke up first. “Luula? What are you doing here?”
Feeling her face growing hot from all the attention, she moved closer to him and, smiling at his familiar-looking guest, said, “I just wanted to surprise you.”
Alwan looked from her to his visitor and back again, nodding. “Right,” he drawled out the one word, a smile slowly drawing up his lips. “Of course, and what a pleasant surprise it is.” He cleared his throat then. “Kyle, may I introduce you to my lovely and talented fiancée?”
“Brains and beauty,” Kyle said, shaking her hand and pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “I wish you both a happy marriage. Now, I’ll leave you two alone. Thank you once again for squeezing me into your schedule, Alwan.”
Lulu waited a full minute to ensure they were alone, before asking, “Was that the guy from the viral video? The one who…” She mimed a throw.
“That’s him,” he confirmed with an amused smile.
“What was he doing here, and why was he thanking you?”
Alwan nudged his head back to the conference room. “Let me explain in there.”
Lulu walked ahead of him into the room and he closed the door behind them, then whisked open the blinds.
“Kyle was here because he wants me to handle his appeal and try and secure a retrial for his case.”
“And is that why he was thanking you, because you said you’re going to do it?”
“No.” Tipping back his head, Alwan scrubbed both his hands down over his face and sighed heavily, his dark brows slashing together as his eyes locked on the long conference table before him. “I told him I’d think on it and call with my final decision.”
“After everything he put you through, I’d understand why you wouldn’t.” Lulu pulled out a chair and sat down, sitting up straighter when Alwan sighed again and looked at her.
“That video circulating was, frankly, a nightmare. The public might have been casting their stones at me, but he’s gotten plenty of backlash too. Kyle also has kids, and his family hasn’t exactly been getting the privacy they need.”
“Is that why the blinds were drawn?”
Alwan nodded. “He was uncomfortable. I don’t think he even made eye contact with Uzoma when he walked in and asked to see me.”
“You feel bad for him. That could be a reason to take the case.”
“Or not. I can’t risk getting too emotional this time, not with the practice still being new,” he said and gripped the back of a chair, a helplessness twisting his handsome features. “What should I do, Lu?”
It was like when he’d asked for her opinion choosing his office. Lulu had resisted sharing her thoughts then, and she should now. Because as touched as she was that Alwan trusted her enough to ask her to weigh in on what was clearly a very important decision for him, the fact was he wouldn’t do that unless he valued her greatly.
And if he valued her that much, then…
Then he probably cares for me too.
Something neither of them should be doing given they had promised not to complicate this unusual arrangement of theirs with feelings. It was easier for them both this way. Safer even, Lulu thought.
There wasn’t room in her to love anyone again. The pain of losing her baby and then watching her ex-husband pull away from her before their divorce was not an experience she wished to relive. Not that she thought Alwan loved her…
If Lulu had believed that, then she wouldn’t have hesitated like she was now and would’ve walked out of the room right then and there.
And since that wasn’t the case she stayed put right where she was and said, “Do you really want my help?”
He nodded quickly, eagerly.
“Okay. Tell me about Kyle first. Clearly his case matters to you, but why?”
Alwan then told Kyle’s sad tale, starting with how the man lost his wife to a short battle with cancer, and then how one of their adopted children lived with a severe intellectual disability that required more hands-on support. The legal dispute between Kyle and his late wife’s extremely wealthy family happened after his wife’s dying will and testament requested that her inheritance from her parents be transferred to Kyle and their kids.
“Kyle and his wife had always relied on that inheritance to be a trust fund for their two children if anything were to happen to them. The worst part is that before lawyers were called and courts visited, when his wife was still alive, Kyle had had a good relationship with his in-laws. They’d even supported the adoption and never treated the children any differently. But now, all of a sudden, they’ve turned their backs on him. And family—family should be there for each other, no matter what.” Alwan’s jaw hardened visibly, his lips tightening into a thin, severe line and his brows slashing over his narrowed eyes.
Lulu admitted the story was upsetting, but Alwan’s reaction felt…personal.
Like he’s thinking about his brother.
Whatever had happened between him and Hashim had been painful enough for it to inspire the raw emotions now darkening his features.
Her heart lurched sharply for him, the ache prompting her to speak up and get his mind off his troubles.
“It sounds like you’re invested already,” she observed softly. “So, what’s holding you back?”
“The fact that Kyle drained the last of his savings on his initial court battles and won’t be able to pay any new legal fees anytime soon.”
“I know finances and income are crucial for your practice at this stage, but since you’ve been doing all that volunteer work for that nonprofit anyway, couldn’t you also take this on pro bono?”
“I did think of doing that,” he said with a small smile, the sight of it promising.
“Then it’s not money that’s making you hesitate, is it? I watched that video, Alwan, and it would be natural if you were worried about that happening to you again. Most people would, myself included.”
“Another viral video happening again is a fear, but the truth is I think I’m more scared of the disappointment.”
“Letting down your client?” she asked.
“Yes, but also myself,” he said, gritting his teeth and rubbing his hands over his face with a groan. “I just don’t want anything to go wrong. With this case, with this business…” He lowered his hands, looked over at her then and left his thought incomplete, making her briefly wonder what else he’d been about to say.
Not wanting to delve into why he was staring at her so intensely and so suddenly, Lulu said, “You should do it, then.”
He raised his brows. “Why?”
“Because I think even more than losing this case and disappointing yourself, you’re really more worried about not doing anything to help.”
“And that’s because you know me so well?” he said with a wry lift of his lips.
“No, that’s because you traveled thousands of kilometers to ask me to be your fake fiancée, and all because you were driven enough by this dream, this business of yours that I know will help people who need their voices and stories heard most.”
Alwan clamped his lips together, and though his beard concealed his jawline, Lulu knew it was as sharp and hard as steel right now.
Had she crossed a line, some boundary that she shouldn’t have? Before she could ask or even try to remedy whatever mistake she made, he cleared his throat and looked off to the side, almost as though he was embarrassed.
“I don’t know what to say. Other than I’m grateful.” Turning his head back to her slowly, their eyes met and Alwan smiled, his face far more relaxed and the pink undertone to his light brown cheeks brighter with his shyness as he rasped, “Thank you, Luula.”
“Of course,” she chirped, blushing now too.
“So, why did you stop by?” Alwan was rolling down the sleeves of his button-up shirt as he asked her.
“Your mom and dad called. They’ve invited us over to dinner at the restaurant.”
