Complete Works of G K Chesterton, page 315
“Lady Crayle wouldn’t know whether she’d missed anything or not,” said Mrs. Mowbray with sudden acrimony. “She’s the very vaguest of the lot.”
“I see,” said Mr. Price, nodding thoughtfully. “Lady Crayle wouldn’t know whether she’d missed anything or not. And I rather gather that you yourself are in the same difficulty.”
Then, before she could realize the affront sufficiently to reply he said rapidly: “I always thought Lady Crayle was supposed to be very capable, a great organizer and all that.”
“Oh, she can organize meetings and movements and all that nonsense,” said the Victorian lady scornfully. “Talk about her League Against Tobacco or her controversy about defining drugs, and she’s all there. But she never notices anything that’s lying about in her own house.”
“Does she notice her husband, for instance?” inquired Mr. Price. “Is he left lying about in the house much? I always understood he was a very distinguished man in his day, and, of course, it’s an awfully old family. I’m told Lord Crayle suffered badly when the Russian debt was beyond recovery, and I don’t suppose his wife gets a salary for attacking tobacco. So they must be pretty poor, and would surely know whether they’ve lost anything of great value.”
He was silent for a moment, ruminating and then said as suddenly as a pistol-shot:
“What was it exactly they picked up after the burglar bolted?”
“I believe it was nothing but cigars,” replied Mrs. Mowbray shortly. “A whole big case stuffed with them. But as it had a card of one of the Nadoways, we presume the burglar had stolen it from their house.”
“Quite so,” he answered. “And now about the other things he had stolen from their house. I am sure you understand that, if I am to help you, I must be excused for assuming a more or less confidential position. I gather that your niece has become the secretary of Mr. Jacob Nadoway. I think I may infer that her taking such a position implies to some extent the necessity of working for her living.”
“I was against her going to work for such people at all,” said Mrs. Mowbray. “But when all these Socialistic Governments have taken away all our money, what can we do?”
“I know — I know,” said the detective, nodding in an almost dreamy fashion; his eyes were again fixed on the ceiling and he seemed to be following a train of thought thousands of miles away. At last he said:
“We sometimes see these things in pictures that are quite impersonal. No personalities are intended. Let us suppose we are talking about nobody in particular. But the picture I see is that of a girl who once knew all about luxury and pretty things, who has accepted a duller and plainer life because there is nothing else to be done, and who earns her salary from a rather mean old man without expecting anything like a windfall. And then there’s another curious picture. A man who’s been an ordinary man of the world but driven to live the simple life, partly by poverty and partly by having a Puritanical wife with a fad against all his old luxuries and especially against tobacco. . . . Does that suggest anything to you?”
“No, it doesn’t,” said Mrs. Mowbray, rising and rustling. “I consider all this most unsatisfactory, and I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“He was really a very absent-minded housebreaker,” said the detective. “If he had known what he was about, he would have dropped two brooches.”
Ten minutes later Mrs. Mowbray had shaken the dust of the very dusty detective office off her feet and gone on to pour out her woes elsewhere; and Mr. Peter Price went to the telephone with a smile that he seemed to be hiding even from himself. He rang up a certain friend of his in the official police department, and their conversation was long and detailed. It largely concerned the prevalence of petty crime, especially larceny, in some of the very poorest districts of London. And yet, oddly enough, Mr. Price added the notes of this telephone conversation to his notes of the conversation with the aristocratic Mrs. Milton-Mowbray.
Then he once more leaned back in his chair and remained staring at the ceiling, plunged in profound thought and with an almost Napoleonic expression, for, after all, Napoleon also was short and in his later years fat, and in Mr. Peter Price also it is possible that there was more than met the eye.
The truth was that Mr. Peter Price was awaiting another arrival, in accordance with another appointment. The two were not unconnected, though it would have surprised Mrs. Mowbray very much if she had seen a figure so familiar as that of Mr. John Nadoway, of Nadoway and Son, enter the detective’s office so soon after she had left. But many years before, the Junior Partner had been put to considerable difficulties in covering up some of the early exploits of the Senior Partner. Long after the elder Nadoway had become rich, and the younger Nadoway had so tardily decided that he should also become respectable, there were old scandals trailing behind the business like a tradition of blackmail, and malcontents whom it was still rather difficult to quash. Young John Nadoway had betaken himself to the private agency and practical experience of Mr. Price, who had paid off or scared off the malcontents so successfully that the new reputation of Nadoways was fairly secure. To Mr. Price, therefore, young Nadoway once more betook himself, when faced with a family scandal on a far more ghastly and gigantic scale.
For Alan Nadoway, no longer acting anonymously or even like a thief in the night, but announcing his name even more plainly than when he left his visiting-card, had declared that it was his intention to pick pockets for a living in the neighbourhood of Lambeth; and that if he were put into the dock and the police news, it would not be under an alias. In the curious communication he had sent his brother, he gravely declared that while there was obviously nothing morally wrong about picking pockets, he could not reconcile it with his conscience (perhaps, he admitted, a too sensitive conscience) to deceive a kind policeman by giving a false name. He had tried three times, he pathetically declared, to call himself Nogglewop and in each case his voice had failed through emotion.
It was three or four days after the receipt of this letter that the thunderbolt fell. The Name of Nadoway, the subject of so many strivings, blazed in black and white in the headlines of all the evening papers; in a very different manner from that in which it blazed from so many of the parallel advertisements. Alan Nadoway, announcing himself as the eldest son of Sir Jacob Nadoway (for such was already the father’s title), appeared in the police court, charged with picking pockets not only once but regularly and successfully for several weeks.
The situation was the more sensationally insulting or exasperating, because the thief had not only robbed the poor in a most heartless and cynical fashion, but had selected the poor of the very district where his brother, the Rev. Norman Nadoway, had recently become a charitable and popular parish priest, abounding in every kind of good works.
“It seems incredible,” said John Nadoway with heavy emphasis, “that any man could be so wicked.”
“Yes,” said Peter Price, a little sleepily; “it seems incredible.” Then he got up with his hands in his pockets and looked out of the window and remarked: “You know, when you come to think of it, that’s just the word for it. It seems incredible.”
“And yet it’s happened,” said John with a groan.
Peter Price was silent so long that John suddenly jumped up as a man might on hearing a noise. “What the devil is the matter with you?” he asked. “Isn’t it quite certain that it has happened?”
Price nodded and answered: “If you say it has happened, yes, I am quite certain. But if you ask what has happened, I am not certain at all. Only I begin to have a large general sort of suspicion.”
Then after another silence he said abruptly: “Look here, I won’t risk raising hopes or suspicions yet, but if you’ll let me see the solicitor who’s arranging the defence of your brother, I rather think I might have something to suggest to him.”
John Nadoway left the offices of the detective with a slow gait and a puzzled expression, which he continued to wear all the way down to his country house, which he reached that evening, driving his own car with his usual competence, but without any shedding of his unusual perplexity and gloom. Everything had grown so puzzling, as well as so painful, that he found himself forced against the edges of existence, in a manner rare in the experience of men of his type. He would have said in all simplicity that he was not a thinker, and he would have seen nothing unnatural in the notion of a man walking through life to death, without stopping anywhere to think. But everything, down to the demeanour of that practical little private detective, was so damned mysterious. Even the dark trees before his father’s house seemed to stand up in serpentine shapes like enormous notes of interrogation. The stars looked like those other stars called asterisks, which stand in the suppressed passages of a puzzle or a cipher. And the single window lighted in the dark bulk of the house was like a leering eye. He knew only too well that a cloud of shame and doom was on that house, like a thunder-cloud about to burst. It was the sort of doom he had tried to avert all his life, and now it had come he could hardly even pretend it was not deserved.
In the shadow of the veranda, with a sort of silent shock, he came upon Millicent, sitting in a garden chair and gazing out into the dark. And in all that black and tragic house of riddles, perhaps her face was the darkest and most inscrutable riddle, for it was happy.
As she gazed, indeed, and became conscious of the sturdy figure of the businessman blackening the faint shimmer of light on the lawn, a sort of misty change came across her eyes, that was not pain but had in it something of pathos. She felt a sort of sad friendship go out in a sympathetic wave towards this strong, successful and unfortunate man — as towards something deaf or blind. She could not analyse the softening, which was also a severing, until she remembered that she had nearly been in love with him when he was a boy in that garden. She did not know why she should feel so sharply and almost tragically that she was not in love with him now. That she could never, never, be in love with that kind of man now. That kind of man — well, he was the kind of thoroughly good man who thought that telling the truth was as right as cleaning the teeth. It would be like loving somebody quite flat — only in two dimensions.
For she felt that in herself a depth had opened like a new dimension, full of topsy-turvy stars and the inverted infinities of Einstein. She hardly looked into that abyss behind her, she hardly took in the positive novelty, but only the sharp negative, that she was not in love with John Nadoway.
All the more her cold compassion went out to him, without shyness, as to a brother. “I am so sorry,” she cried, “for all you must be suffering just now. It must seem so dreadful to you.”
“Thank you,” he said, not without emotion. “We are having a trying time, of course — and sympathy from old friends does not hurt.”
“I know how good you have been,” she said, “and how hard you worked to keep off anything like discredit. And this must seem to you so discreditable.”
The repetition of the one word “seem” at last penetrated his solid mind as a little queer.
“I’m afraid it doesn’t only seem so,” he said, “a Nadoway picking pockets is about the worst one could imagine.”
“That is it,” she said, nodding rather strangely. “Through the worst one could imagine comes the best one could not imagine.”
“I’m afraid I don’t follow,” said the Junior Partner.
“You go through the worst to the best, as you go through the west to the east,” she said, “and there really is a place, at the back of the world, where the east and the west are one. Can’t you feel there is something so frightfully and frantically good that it must seem bad?”
He stared at her blankly, and she went on as if thinking aloud.
“A blaze in the sky makes a blot on the eyesight. And after all,” she added, almost in a whisper, “the sun was blotted out, because one man was too good to live.”
The Junior Partner resumed his plodding march with the new addition to his list of worries; that among the inmates of the house, was a lady who was a lunatic.
V
THE THIEF ON TRIAL
There was an extraordinary amount of fuss and delay about the hearing of the case of Alan Nadoway, considering that it was merely the trial of a common pickpocket. First of all, it was repeated everywhere, apparently on good authority, that the prisoner was going to plead Guilty. Then came all sorts of commotion in his original social circle, and a series of privileged interviews between the prisoner and members of his family. But it was not until his father, old Sir Jacob Nadoway, had sent his private secretary to the prison, apparently to conduct unprecedentedly long interviews with the prisoner, that the news went round that he was pleading Not Guilty after all. Then there was the same sort of rumour and dispute about his choice of a counsel, and finally it was announced that he had insisted on conducting his own defence.
He had been committed for trial after purely formal evidence, and in his earlier stages of silence and surrender. It was before a judge and jury that the case against him was fully opened, and the prosecuting counsel opened it in tones of stern regret. The prisoner was unfortunately the son of a great and distinguished family, the blot on the escutcheon of a noble, a generous and a philanthropic house. All were acquainted with the great reforms in the conditions of employment which would always be associated with the name of his elder brother, Mr. John Nadoway. Many who could not approve the ritualistic practices, or submit their intellects to the ecclesiastical dogmas upheld by his other brother, the Rev. Norman Nadoway, had none the less respect for the solid social work and active charity of that clergyman among the poor. But, however it might be in other countries, the English law was no respecter of persons and was bound to follow crime even to its most respectable retreats. This unfortunate man, Alan Nadoway, had always been a ne’er-do-well and a burden and disgrace to his family. He had been suspected, and indeed convicted, of attempts at burglary in the houses of his family and friends.
Here the judge intervened, saying: “That is a most improper remark. I find nothing about burglary in the indictment on which the prisoner is being tried.” On this the prisoner remarked in a cheerful voice: “I don’t mind, my lord.” But nobody took the least notice of him, in the presence of a really improper legal procedure, and the judge and the barrister continued to look at each other with lugubrious countenances, until the barrister apologized and resumed. In any case, he said, there could be little doubt upon the charge of petty larceny, in face of the witnesses whom he intended to put in the box.
Police-constable Brindle was sworn and gave his evidence in one long rippling monotone, without any apparent punctuation, as if it were not only all one sentence but all one word.
“Acting on information received I followed the prisoner from the house of the Rev. Norman Nadoway towards the Yperion Cinema Theatre at about a hundred yards distant I saw the prisoner put his hand in the overcoat pocket of a man standing under a lamp-post after warning the man to examine his pockets I followed the prisoner who had joined the crowd outside the theatre a man in the crowd turned round and accused the prisoner of picking his pockets he offered to fight the prisoner and I came up to stop the fight I said do you charge this man and he said yes the prisoner said suppose I charge him with assault while I was questioning the other man the prisoner ran on and put his hand in the tail-coat pocket of a man in the queue. I then told this man to examine his pockets and took the prisoner into custody.”
“Do you wish to cross-examine this witness?” asked the judge.
“I am sure your lordship will pardon me in the circumstances,” said the prisoner, “If I am not well acquainted with the forms of this court. But may I at this stage ask whether the prosecution is going to call these three persons whom I am supposed to have robbed?”
“I have no objection to stating,” said the prosecuting counsel, “that we are calling Harry Hamble, bookmaker’s clerk, the man who is said to have threatened to fight the prisoner, and Isidor Green, music-teacher, the last man robbed by the prisoner before his arrest.”
“And what about the first man?” asked the prisoner. “Why isn’t he being called?”
“As a matter of fact, my lord,” said the counsel, “the police have been unable to discover his name and address.”
“May I ask the witness,” said Alan Nadoway, “how this curious state of things came about?”
“Well,” said the constable, “the fact is that as soon as I’d turned my back on him for a minute, he was gone.”
“Do you mean to say,” asked Nadoway, “that you told a man he was the victim of theft and might recover his money, and he instantly bolted without leaving his name, as if he were a thief himself?”
“Well, I don’t understand it, and that’s flat,” said the policeman.
“Under your lordship’s indulgence,” said the prisoner, “there is another point. While two names figure as witnesses, only one name, that of Mr. Hamble, appears as prosecuting. It looks as if there was something vague about the third witness, too. Did you think so, constable?”
Outside the inhuman hurdy-gurdy of his official evidence, the policeman was a human being and capable of being amused.
“Well, I must say he was vague enough,” he admitted with a faint grin. “He’s one of these artistic musical chaps, and his notions of counting money is something chronic. I told him to look if he’d lost any and he added it up six times. And sometimes it was 2s. 8d. and sometimes it was 3s. 4d. and sometimes it got as far as 4s. So we thought he wasn’t quite enough on the spot. . . .”
“This is most irregular,” said the judge. “I understand that the witness, Isidor Green, is to give his own evidence later. The prosecution had better begin calling their witnesses as soon as possible.”
Mr. Harry Hamble wore a very sporting tie and that expression of demure joviality which is seen in those who value their respectability even in the Saloon Bar. He was not incapable, however, of hearty outbursts, and he admitted that he had punched the head of the fellow who tried to pick his pocket. In answer to the prosecution, he told the story very much as the policeman had done, not without a gentle exaggeration of his own pugnacity. In answer to the prisoner, he admitted that he had immediately adjourned to the Pig and Whistle at the corner.
