Spring Changes, page 4
I stood, stepping carefully towards where his kenosi was snaking up and into the air.
“We might not be able to get everything running smooth right from the start, but you know we’re going to try our best. Let’s get moving. I’m sure you can all make yourselves busy.”
They all groaned, but it was something I was used to—groan, complain, and then get to it.
I caught Paul and Craig’s eyes; they wanted to speak with me. “Los, stay. I need to work out what’s going to happen now.”
We waited while the others filed out, and Shion leaned into me. “I’m going to help Naylar and Denn with the engine. If there’s one thing I know how to fix with kenosi and how it all works around these ships, it’s them.”
She left with the others, and I knew we were in great hands.
Los stood before me. “I hate to say it, but as soon as we get with the Razor, you’re going to respawn?” I asked.
Los nodded, wringing her hands together. “This has certainly been an eye opener for us, and I am very grateful we had this to turn to in our worst circumstances, but we cannot do what you are asking in these bodies.”
“Stats?”
She pulled up their stats on the computer. “You are not the only one with major disabilities.”
“So while you’re in the denti bodies, you’re also half what you should be?”
“Yes. After all, like pure denti, we wolves are much stronger. Like this, we are not. I am honestly surprised at yours, Kyle. You know how we all laugh and joke about your stats being so much lower than ours? Well, this has proved one thing. What if you were in a mech-wolf body?”
Tyto swore under his breath. “I don’t think any of us thought about that.”
“No, we never have, and that’s one of the other reasons I’m bringing it to your attention.”
“If I was a wolf, and had my normal stats . . .”
“You’d be stronger than Edward for sure. Stronger and it would be much easier to actually lead that merge.”
But you can’t die again . . . Hiroto said.
I sighed. “No, I need this body to stay. I need to be just me for a while.”
At least there was no one else in here this time, and I finally felt I was okay. I didn’t want another voice yet. I needed to heal myself and make things okay with me. That was enough.
“Well, I’ll not think on that thought much longer, but I will think it’s possible for someone to try. There’s no better place than now with the Razor on its way to rendezvous with us, to get the mechs right?”
“I think I can put it to the team, ask for a volunteer, or two. Do you think the M-Wolves would allow it?”
“I do,” Los said, “or I wouldn’t have suggested it. Do you have anyone in mind?”
I looked at Tyto with a grin, then glanced to both of my friends. They also started grinning. “Paul and Craig.”
“You really think this is something we should do?” Craig asked.
“I don’t think either of us would have suggested it if we didn’t personally think it was something we could do.”
“Like helping Dylan become the person he is back in the flesh?”
“You can say no—we don’t have to do it.”
They exchanged looks. “You’re kidding, right? We’re like the top of our skill set trying to chase your tail, and you’re floating an opportunity here for us to double up everything. No sane gamer would ever say no.”
“Hey, they might,” Paul said.
They looked at each other again and laughed. “Well, yeah, he’s kidding. We’d think a lot about it for sure. But we’d still take the risks, no matter what they were.”
“You’re both in?” Los asked.
They nodded. “Yes.”
“Can you coordinate with Oron over it?”
“Of course. It just means instead of the six to kill, we have to take the lives of eight.”
I still wasn’t comfortable with it as a term. But we were—we were still taking their lives, no matter how much we tried to hide it. Every life, every respawn was a death that still happened, in the end.
Tyto slapped my arm, and I came back around. “As long as it helps in the long term, and I think if we have eight M-Wolves with us, it might well increase our stats enough to train much quicker to take that mega on.”
Paul and Craig couldn’t be more excited about the idea of turning into wolves and talked excitedly, much like they had many a time over a new trait in any game we’d played in the past.
“Oh yeah, you know you won quick points again, right?” I said to the two of them.
Paul sighed. “Yeah, there has to be a downside though, maybe the animal instinct to it? For the amount we get, I think this will be a genuine test of character and purpose.”
“We can double up our stats though?”
I nodded. “Go on, share. We should see what that might mean for us.”
Name - Paul
Species - Denti/Human
Class - Monk
Age 19 + 2
Level = 45
Respawns = 0
Memories = 100%
Health = 89%
Kenosi = Rank 45
Nanites x 0
Body Type = Unknown
Structural Integrity = Tungsten, Alumi
Internal AI Chip = XL Class
Skin Strength = 34
Blood Capacity = 21
Healing Speed = 32
Overall Personal Level = 832
Strength = 236
Dexterity = 260
Constitution = 280
Intelligence = 88
Wisdom = 228
Charisma = 26
Luck = 26
We read over them both. They’d make awesome additions if they could become M-Wolves. I hoped so. What a change to the front line and us that would be.
Name - Craig
Class - Ranger
Age 19 + 2
Level = 45
Respawns = 0
Memories = 100%
Health = 89%
Kenosi = Rank 45
Nanites x 384,941
Body Type = Unknown
Structural Integrity = Tungsten, Alumi
Internal AI Chip = XL Class
Skin Strength = 34
Blood Capacity = 21
Healing Speed = 32
Overall Personal Level = 866
Strength = 336
Dexterity = 92
Constitution = 334
Intelligence = 74
Wisdom = 122
Charisma = 60
Luck = 42
4
The bridge was a hive of activity as they prepared for a jump. I stepped on the deck, and Jai waved me over to the secondary seat. “Good to see you up and about. Tyto let me know you were getting fed.”
“I’m sure everyone knows I pig out here.” I laughed, sliding my hands over the comms and starting to run my own checks. The engines had taken massive hits getting us to this planet, and Denn had done what she had said to keep us all alive. We’d gotten rid of the waste we couldn’t process in time, leaving us with having to acquire new engines from the plant and get them fitted as fast as possible.
“What’s the differences here?” I asked Jai, trying my best to figure everything out.
“The new engines with the modifications from Denn and yourself in the first place are much quicker to spark, she says. We’ve a five percent increase in speed and, for us with everything the way we’ve been going, that’s a lot.”
“Yeah, I agree. Seems everything is good to go, all green!” I said.
Jai looked out to the main view, the screen that showed us the blackness of space. “Then let’s jump!”
I pushed that button and waited while something should have happened.
It didn’t.
“Report?” Jai asked.
I was quick to pull up all the details and comm for Denn right away. “We’re on it,” she said. “Just a small problem.”
Small, meaning she would fix it as soon as possible. But it might not be small.
I think we all waited, but didn’t hold our breath. It seemed like hours, but only minutes had passed. I couldn’t see what was wrong. My engine stats and everything else had suffered, and so did I because of it.
“Trust Denn,” Hiroto said over the comms. “She’s almost there.”
“Go for green once more,” came her comms call.
I pushed the button again on Jai’s nod.
Space before us vanished and clouded. It felt different, just like the first jump had for us, the shift in space, the hum under our feet.
When space appeared once again, there was the ship I knew well. The Razor dominated the darkness of space before us. Its amazing angular structure impressed the hell out of me every single time.
“Still stunning,” I said and looked at Jai.
“Oran is requesting open comms,” Miquel said.
I didn’t hesitate to open the comms and see his rather gruff-looking face, his lips curling over his canines.
“Kyle, it is good to see you,” Oran said.
“It is good to see you as well,” I replied. “How are we looking?”
“We have all the requested items ready to transfer over. I would like to rendezvous with you for the time being, meet back with Los.”
“Of course,” Jai said. “Wouldn’t have it any other way. You’re more than welcome to spend the time over here, or she can travel to you. Whichever you prefer.”
“I wish to see her.” Oran stared at me, his words thick with emotion.
My mind drifted, images of the planet, Ting, the Vrolsh swarming before us. How fast they were, how fast they were to take down my friends.
“Kyle?” Jai asked. “He can come aboard, right?”
“Of course.” I reached up with my hand, showing my kenosi spark. “We fought with everything we had, and we lost. We are thankful to the safety net we all have, the nites. Jai and the crew, they are the ones that saved our lives.”
Oran lowered his head fist to his heart. “I owe you a debt, Captain Trix.”
“You owe me nothing,” Jai said to him. “Just like I said, the rest of the team doesn’t. We’re here for that reason, and we’ll continue to do just that. If we’re needed, we’ll be there for you.”
“You may dock as planned,” Oran said. “I’ll be waiting for you.”
“Move us to dock, if you would, Kyle,” Jai asked of me.
“Me?” I fumbled.
“You want me to take it?” Miquel asked with a raised eyebrow.
I looked at Jai. “I’m not feeling capable. Miquel can take us in.”
Jai didn’t say anything else, just nodded at Miquel.
Hiroto sighed. I think we could have done it. We’re not anywhere near what we used to be, but I’m sure we could dock Artemis in our sleep.
Maybe. I’m just not taking that chance, not yet.
Artemis edged in and under the Razor, making its way to a docking port near the mech bays. Miquel was just as adept as Tyto was for manoeuvring, and we were docked and ready before I even blinked.
“I’ll head down,” I said. “See if I can do anything.”
“Stay,” Jai said. “Miquel, you can go.”
Miquel saw the dismissal and then was up and gone.
“Come,” Jai said. He motioned back to his private office. “You have the bridge.”
I followed him into his office and sat down before him, waiting.
“Sadie told me you’d asked her to do a psych assessment on everyone. I agreed.” He paused, pulling up some of my team’s stats. “There’s some concerns.”
“Oh.” My stomach sank.
“I am not sure what the hospital staff are like on Armastai, but I think we need to make sure everyone gets the help they need through the next set of training. You’re putting everyone under more and more pressure, and they all just went through one of the most horrendous respawnings ever.”
“I know,” I said, my hands together, sweating. I wiped them down my trousers. “It’s really not been easy.”
“Kyle,” he said. His voice softened. “She’s also concerned for you; there’s some signs of severe stress showing. You seem to blank out as well.”
I couldn’t argue with him. I’d done just that, and he’d seen it. “You’re thinking I’m not fit for decisions at the moment?”
“I don’t know,” he replied. “You’re not as used to war as some of us are.” He moved his chair so that he sat closer before me. “That isn’t a slight on you, your age, or what you’ve planned. You and the team need to do what you have to do. But I’m asking you to let Tyto make some of the decisions while you’re on the base.”
“You’re asking me, or ordering me?”
His yellow flecked eyes held mine, nice and steady. He never faltered with his next words. “I don’t need to order you. You know what’s best for yourself and your team. You won’t put them at risk.”
I felt like I was getting told off by my father. I clenched my hands together, trying not to let him see my emotion. Swallowing a lot because my mouth was suddenly so dry. I was better than this. I wasn’t back in school, doing stupid things with my friends.
“No, I won’t put them at risk, and you know it.” I paused, flexing my fingers, trying to let the blood flow back. They pinked up after a moment, then I looked at him. “What can I do? Tell me.”
“That’s the Kyle I know. I need you to find a doctor on the base. He goes by the name of Pious Rakus. He’ll be expecting you. If you just talk to him while you train for what you need, you’ll come out the other side, and I’ll be happy to hand over full control again.”
“But I don’t want to talk to a stranger,” I said. Sadness washed over me; I’d failed all of them. Mostly Jai, he felt sorry for me, poor little non-soldier. That just frustrated me all the more. I thought I’d proven myself. I had. I knew I had.
“You need to, Kyle, and I’m asking you to.”
“I’m not a let-down,” I said. “I’m not.” I couldn’t meet his eyes now, seeing those images again of my friends as they went down. The Vrolsh surrounding even me.
“Kyle.” Jai’s voice brought me back to him. “Those people out there were set on hurting you and my family. They’re the let-down. Just because you’ve reached a point where your mind’s suffering doesn’t mean any of us—and I mean that, any of us—think any less of you.”
“I don’t—”
“Just listen to us above you. You’ll process this better. Believe me.”
I wanted to believe him, but I felt like he was pushing me aside. Crunching my hands together, I glanced back to the door, wanting to bolt. To just get away from the feelings I had, from those images that kept on and on.
“Kyle, even what you’re feeling right now is not the person I know you are. I can see your anger and hear the words you’re saying. They don’t make sense—they’re not the man I know. You’re staying here with me, right now, and we’re going to go over the numbers, the upgrades I want you to do, that you need to do. Then when you feel like you’re okay once again, I will let you go. But not like this. Fight those feelings.”
I nodded at him, focusing on the screen displaying my team. Pushing those images aside. The feelings. I was an idiot; they were suffering more than me. I had to help them, but I needed to help me too.
“Who can I help first?” I caught Jai’s face, his concern etched across his forehead. “Besides myself,” I added.
“Los. She’s suffering the most, hence why Oran is over here right now. They need some time together for her to feel better, to gather herself.”
“Who else?”
“The girls. Keep an eye on Evia and Naylar.”
“I will, I promise.”
“I know you will. Everyone on your team needs you, but they also need each other. Encourage them all, the best way you can.”
I would, I wouldn’t let them down. Jai turned the screen off and over to the mechs instead.
I knew them from our previous missions, but I didn’t know they’d all been patched up and worked on since. They’d had upgrades and they were fully kitted out again. Shiny.
“They look great. Thank you for re-acquiring them.”
“Technically, they’re still yours. We’ve just been spending funds to get them ready.”
“Thank you.” I hesitated. The eighteen mechs were amazing, but there was one problem. “What if we still need eighteen more?”
“I think we can help sort them out,” Jai said. “Even with the Swift Beards’ mechs, there’s plenty of others that would donate them to your cause.”
“The Swift Beards did a fantastic job of looking after our mechs, with Frenk and in tricking Edward in the first place. Maybe if we didn’t go to Dox to introduce that virus. Maybe—”
“If you hadn’t gone to Dox? If you hadn’t saved all those lives, all those people from being continually tortured? Kyle, that’s not you. You might have trained harder and done better against Edward, but do you think you’d want that instead of where you are now?”
I thought about it, the accomplishment, meeting the others from Cinna’s guarde, knowing Lyndsey’s story. I hated to admit it. The answer stared me in the face.
“No,” I said. “I wouldn’t have wanted to do it another way.”
“Then we make the most of what we do have. And you will get over this.”
“You stay so calm all the time,” I said. “How do you do it?”
Jai’s eyes changed, and he lowered his head. “I want you to do me one other favour,” he said. “Go and see Latife, before you go see the mechs. Ask her to tell you what I was like the day we rescued you.”
I saw something in those eyes flicker then. “You really love her? Don’t you?”
“I did what you prompted. We’re getting married on Drudel, and I want you all there for it.”
