Temper: Book One of the Taboo Series, page 12
Stan brought Hugh into a deep hug. I watched as they whispered to each other before pulling away. Hugh grinned as he passed me and stumbled into the kitchen muttering, “coffee.”
It wasn’t complete yet. We needed to wait. I was sure there were licenses necessary to acquire. Hope bubbled in my chest but I repressed it. I didn’t want to jinx anything. Regardless of the distant future, my immediate one was bleak.
I stood, awed by my own unsettling calm. Resignation to the inevitable.
I called for a cab to pick me up within the hour. I turned back to catch Hugh and Stan staring at each other. They both calmed and tried to draw strength from one another. I couldn’t imagine how difficult life would have become for Stan if Hugh never agreed to keep him company in my absence.
I packed nothing but the coat I wore home that awful night. No one spoke. Stan paid the driver for the ride along with a generous tip as I settled into the backseat.
I couldn’t tear my eyes from their shivering figures until we turned onto the road. I felt crushed beneath the immediate future and sky, a failing Atlas.
✷✴✷
The house was a dark tomb of the living when I entered. I stepped into the foyer, unsure if I should make my presence known or wait for it to become obvious.
An unfamiliar woman appeared from the dining room. Her steps were calm as she moved to the marble steps. Her uniform was different. She wasn’t wearing the straight, knee length skirt and white, buttoned blouse of a maid. I hurried after her, curious and hopeful. Why was there a nurse in the mansion?
I frowned as she turned into Grandfather’s open doorway and peered in to see him lying on the bed. His unusually pale skin was worn and loose as the sounds of machines assaulted me. The nurse wore black scrubs with her thin, blonde hair tied in a smooth ponytail. She stared at her watch while counting Earnest’s pulse.
“What’s happened?” I asked from the doorway. It was Elizabeth who deserved whatever illness consumed him.
She looked up in surprise before glaring and pursing her lips. Elizabeth must have warned her of my obnoxious behavior. “He’s ill. We’re still trying to figure out why.”
There was gleam of a lie in her eyes. “What caused this?” I asked.
She evaded the question, “If you came to tell him goodbye, now might be the time to do so. He doesn’t have much longer. Days at best.”
I shook my head. “He was fine when I left two weeks ago. I don’t understand.”
Her lips spread tight. “I’ll give you some privacy.” I stopped her at the door and looked her over. She should have withered under my stare and the blatant distrust I exuded. Her voice was firm and unashamed, “He won’t be lucid for long. Say goodbye.”
She left the room with her head high and ponytail bouncing. She turned down the hall towards the stairs to Elizabeth’s study. I told myself that not even she would kill her own husband. Not even she was that evil.
I felt death waiting, frozen in the room. The comforting, shrouded old friend sang to my grandfather from the darkest corners. I shivered against the sensation and the memory of its touch.
“Grandfather?” I called as I stepped further into the room.
I assumed he was asleep until his voice croaked. I couldn’t decipher his words, but his hand shook as it waved me toward him. I hurried across the room and grasped his fingers.
The strength with which he squeezed was surprising considering his frailty. His eyes filled as he stared up at me. I could feel his sorrow and ache but made no assumption from where they stemmed.
His focus switched, flicking to something behind me. I searched his expression, wanting to help and bring him whatever captured his thoughts. I stood as he stared pointedly behind my back.
I didn’t trust his mental stability and where he was guiding me but would be filled with remorse if I ignored him and pretended not to notice. He neglected me and allowed the abuse. He held no right to ask for favors but regardless of his stained heart, I couldn’t turn him away in mine.
The closet was closed but I backed towards it. He shook his head and his fingers curled in the air to motion down. He radiated with frustration and urgency. I understood.
He was a shadow of the man he was and had withered within a few short weeks. I couldn’t understand his malnourished figure or the jaundiced skin. He was on the brink of being elderly but what time he had left was gushing away too quickly.
I knelt down onto the old, worn, maroon carpet and watched for further instructions. He pointed down again. I lowered my eyes, searching. I gestured beneath the dresser and the bed. I sat back and glared at him, growing more frustrated with every shake of negation.
I looked toward the nightstand. His hand trembled in the air. I touched the drawer and he pointed again, lower. The vase on the shelf, lower. I was on my hands and knees, peering under when I saw it. The tiny, tarnished key was taped to the bottom and well hidden. My wrist was thin enough to reach under without having to dismantle anything. I pried it away and stood to hold the key for him to see and hoped he would tell me more.
Both hands lifted, quaking. The inaudible word formed on his lips, “Hide.”
“How can this help you?” I leaned forward, praying he could answer. “What is it for?”
His eyes slipped closed. My heart trembled as he stilled. I huffed in frustration and relief, slipping the key into my bra as he began to snore.
Chapter 23- Over Easy
I sat on the edge of his bed to hold his hand through the day and into the night. The nurse came every two hours to check his vitals. She became visibly uncomfortable with my presence as I eyed every medicine she administered, asked to see the labels of every bottle, and questioned their purposes. I haunted her with the same repetitive questions, “Why is he so sick? What happened? How did this come on so quickly? Why isn’t he in a hospital?” until she seemed to neglect Earnest in irritation towards me.
Hannah wove in and out at intervals to ask if either of us needed anything. She’d bring snacks for me and fresh, steaming bowls of boiled herbs to set at his bedside. She claimed the aromas helped Grandfather relax and sleep. I didn’t disagree. I could sense her need to be useful. When I was able to halt and calm I asked how and when the illness began. I was determined to have answers.
Her anxiety and grief seemed to lessen at the opportunity to voice her worries. We sat whispering as Earnest rested between us. She couldn’t understand any of it. One day he complained about stomach pain, and soon after showed the symptoms of having a stroke. He began receding, vomiting food and blood.
“No one knows what’s wrong. We know you’ve been sick for a time and assumed he has the same ailment,” she concluded. I could see she believed the lie wandering the hallways.
I watched over Grandfather and listened to the feeble excuses and possibilities. Paranoia swelled in my mind with the more I heard. When Hannah fell into quiet contemplation I recalled an old chemistry lecture from school. Certain drugs came with particular side-effects and misuse could cause ulcers, hemorrhages in the brain, and strokes.
One of my favorite books came to mind. It included a fictional short story about a poison quickly paralyzing the muscles and killing its victim. My worries increased as Earnest faded. Elizabeth pushed him to the edge of death yet I couldn’t fathom why.
I asked how often Elizabeth came to check on him. Hannah shook her head and glanced down at his shriveled form. She didn’t want him to hear of the negligence from his wife.
✷✴✷
I laid on my bed fully dressed and tried to rest. I left the bedroom door wide open so I could listen to the incessant orchestra of whining machinery. I knew when the sound changed it would signal the end. Conflicting emotions surged through me.
An emptiness at the thought of his death saturated me in shame. I barely knew him and though he wasn’t the most fearsome demon in that home, he was as guilty. There was a silver gleam of optimism in the promise I shared with Hugh. I wouldn’t be trapped alone with her for long.
I heard the footsteps, recognizing the gait and the thinness of the soles of his sneakers. It was too early. I could feel the exhaustion in his steps. I sat up and watched his figure come into view.
Hugh hesitated in the hall as his focus jumped between my room and Grandfathers. I stood from the bed as he turned towards Earnest. He seemed to sag beneath my gaze. His shoulders slumped as his feet slid across the floor and his head began shaking in disbelief.
There was something dark in his stance. What I interpreted as concern deformed. There was knowledge in his pain- a secret he didn’t tell me. Hugh fell to his knees beside Earnest and grasped his hand. I couldn’t hear the whispers from across the hall but could taste his guilt as it tinged my confusion.
He didn’t stand as the sharp clip of low heels descended the narrow stairs. While remaining hidden in the shadows of Ruth’s room, I pulled to the wall and peered around to see.
She stopped at the door with her back to me. A violent urge to find something heavy shook me. I needed to stop her. My body trembled as I fought against it.
Hugh glared up at Elizabeth. He couldn’t hide the fear in his eyes at the sight of her. “What happened?” His voice begged, disbelieving, yet I felt he already knew. I watched the silent battle. She lifted her head and stared down, waiting for him to accept. Fury built in his voice as it grew from the low growl in his chest, “You said I could leave.”
Her voice was cold and detached, “I said the choice was yours. I warned you there would be consequences if you didn't return within the allotted time.”
He shook his head as though not understanding. “There was no time frame,” he hissed from the floor. “Why punish Earnest for the time you granted me to spend with family?”
Her head cocked as a cruel smirk lifted her face. “Were you with family?” Her tone shot a shiver through my veins. She knew the truth.
His voice was filled with honesty as he answered, “Yes.”
Her hand shot into his curls. She snapped his head back to force his eyes to meet hers. I couldn’t stop myself as I rushed forward. The look he shot me as he sensed my intention helped me to still. It felt as though he whispered directly into my mind, ‘Wait.’
“I am a jealous God, and I see all.” Her voice dripped with glee as she leaned too close.
His eyes widened at her implications. I stepped back in shame as the realization struck me. I was so foolish.
She had enlisted a hunter to track and kill a being I loved. She wouldn’t have granted me freedom without knowing I was being tracked and hunted, too. Hugh's brow twitched as he noticed the step I took away from the scene.
“Why Earnest?” His voice was eerily calm as his eyes clashed with hers.
She straightened above him. “Every war has casualties. You take out the pawns before the knights.” She sighed as she looked him over. A flash of emotion crossed her face but it wasn’t regret.
His head bowed. A string of tortured apologies tumbled from his lips. I couldn’t understand. I didn’t know who the words were directed towards. His lips bent to Earnest but it felt as though he kneeled for her.
My own teeth bared as she ran her fingers through his curls with affection. He stood and whirled on her, slapping her hand away. “Fix him. You can’t do this.”
The way her hips tilted toward him made my mind fill with venom. His face twisted into confusion and disgust. When she spoke, soft and deep, her voice pricked a dreaded familiarity. “Close your eyes, William.”
He sidestepped around her, “What’s wrong with you?” He backed away until he was closed in and pressed against the wall.
She stalked, a spider to her fly. I wanted to scream for him to run but froze in terror. My bones still ached at the memory of her fury. Self-loathing rose in my head and fogged everything. I couldn’t hear her whisper but felt the reverberation of malice from her lips close to his ear.
His eyes glowed with disgust and disdain. I witnessed his agony as his focus trained on me.
I stood shaking, not knowing what to do. Her hands began to roam his chest and down the ripples of his arms as she swept her lips across his jaw. He jerked his face away and grabbed her by the shoulders. She winced at the pain of his grip as he pulled her away from himself. I was certain he’d spit, scream, and rage at her but he said nothing. He gave one short, harsh nod.
He pried her away, gentle yet unyielding. Their dance was baffling. His hands shook as he stalked from the room with his unnerved fingers raking through his hair. He kept his gaze low as he fled down the marble steps.
Chapter 24- Smoked
I waited for the darkness to recede as I gave him time and space. She confessed Earnest’s depletion was her work of art. War, she called it. I knew myself to be her enemy, but Earnest was always on her side of the board.
I needed to know what she did to him to make Hugh tremble against invisible restraints. I needed to know what she whispered to make him bend so easily to her will.
The stars were fading as I rushed from the house, throwing the long coat over my shoulders. I could feel his presence and emotions. His soul was calling to mine. I followed the sound past the frosting pool and shimmering grass into the dormant garden.
He sat on the edge of the fountain with his head bent. His arms wrapped around himself as he shivered from the cold, his chest heaving with his silent sobs. I rushed to him, dropped to my knees, and kneeled before him. I wished I could swallow his pain.
“Whatever she said, this isn't your fault.” I waited for a response. He couldn’t seem to acknowledge my presence and words.
The small shake of his head and the way his eyes avoided mine made my heart drop with dread. “Olivia, I love you.”
I didn’t understand the connection. “I know.”
He focused on my face as the words flew from his mouth, “We can leave. Now. We can be safe. We’ll wait and hide until we get all of the legal documents and can get married.”
He stood so fast I was knocked onto my backside but he fell to his knees beside me. I had never seen such maniacal desperation in his eyes. “Let’s leave now.”
My head was nodding before I could find my voice. My mind shot a million reasons of why his impulsivity was the right answer as he lifted me to my feet.
“Wait.”
He stepped back. “Why?”
I wanted to take his hand and run towards freedom with him. “School.” I would have hated for him to waste all of the effort and time he put into his dream. I wouldn't be the one to snatch it from him when it was within reach. “Your mom.” She was the most precious person in his life. Their bond was what any mother hoped to have with their child. I refused to be the reason it was broken. “Have you asked for her consent?”
His hands tore at his hair as his lip stained his teeth with blood. The eyes I lost my soul into long ago faded. His head began to shake in negation to the thoughts I couldn’t read.
His arms fell to his sides and terror shot through my veins. The way he looked through me made me feel as though I didn’t exist. The calm he exuded was too heavy.
She failed at breaking me and was digging her claws into him. The way she touched him made me shiver with disgust. She called him by her brother's name while groping him. I could hear her voice in my head, the imitation of the low, smoky tone and soft syllables. She was imitating Mother but that wouldn’t make sense either.
His eyes were weary as I stepped toward him. I remained calm and transparent, opposite of the possessive way she blocked him from escape. “We don’t have to wait long.” He understood my reasoning and logic. He lifted my knuckles to his lips. “Why is she doing this to Earnest?”
His eyes flashed to mine and I sunk into his guilt. “Because this is what happens when I disobey Elizabeth.”
I shook my head. “This isn’t your fault.”
He nodded. “I know that logically, but emotionally I feel like it is.”
I gripped his face between my hands and forced him to meet my eyes. “Then it’s as much my fault. I didn’t tell you how she reigned in Beau as an ally. I didn’t know to watch for him watching us. Don’t give her your control.”
He nodded as my words sunk in yet he didn't question me for details. The kiss he pressed to my lips was filled with gratitude, love, and strength. He would never give an ounce of his being to her.
His soft emotions began to twist into a different kind of flame as he held me beneath the stark, freezing sky. His kiss pressed hard against mine, painful and greedy. My worry burned away as my heart raced to match his own. His need for me entwined with my need to heal him.
His patience and understanding with my decision to wait for our future fueled the heat he drove into me. His knees hit the fountain and he fell, holding me above him. I straddled him on the edge, my name a hymn of devotion on his lips.
His hands gripped, bruising and possessive. My fingers twisted in his curls, pulling his face to mine, forcing every ounce of love and lust from his being in. My nails raked his chest as I yanked the shirt above his head.
My knees gripped him as I tore at the button of his jeans, feeling it break at the strength of my hand. My spite towards Elizabeth lay forgotten at the sounds of tearing panties and the ripping seams as he dragged my dress down my shoulders.
The collapse of my sanity plunged me deeper into the darkest, purest parts of him. The primal glow in his eyes matched my soul. I rose, surrendering to my need, my body, and took all of him.
I knew every inch of him: the temper, the love, the flaws, and the perfection. Our sweat, misting breath, and pressing heat churned into something glorious, raw, and indescribable. In that moment I became a living threat, protective of him.
✷✴✷
We calmed, gasping for the air we denied ourselves. His kiss was tender and his smile peaceful but I knew it would last no longer than a moment.
I felt the key, warm against my heart, as I slid from his lap. His thoughts and body returned to the present as he cast his gaze to the ground. He looked so lost.
