Hard Rock Love Box Set, page 28
It wasn’t quite the job she wanted as designer, but she knew she would get there some day if she kept at it, and so she tried not to let the past be a setback.
She quickly settled into the rhythm of work, plugging in her headphones to listen to some music as the repetition of the task threatened to bring her into the land of daydreams. No, this beading and embroidery needed her full attention, she couldn’t afford to have her mind wander off to far-away places, no matter how tempting they were.
Lillian looked up from her editing as Meghan came to her desk, setting down an envelope in front of her.
“Good news,” she said with a smile. “The ballet company really enjoyed your work, and they agreed to let you do a special issue on their costumes workshop. They just started work on their costumes for Swan Lake, so this should be a really good opportunity for you. And, as thanks, they’ve given you a ticket to another showing of Sleeping Beauty, if you choose. This time you can just be part of the audience. You can just sit back and enjoy.”
Lillian accepted the envelope, which held the rectangular shape of a ticket, with a nod of thanks. “That’s wonderful news,” she said.
“I couldn’t agree more. I really think this could be the one, Lillian, that breakthrough issue you were looking for. If this doesn’t skyrocket you to the beaches of fame, I don’t know what will.”
Lillian laughed a little, excited, and made nervous by the pressure of the situation.
“Now go on, they’ve agreed to let you start photographing today. I’ll have someone else take over the editing you were doing, you’ve got some groundbreaking photos to catch.” With that, Meghan turned around and left, skirt swishing around her legs as she strutted with the kind of confidence Lillian hoped to achieve one day, back to her office.
As she walked from the subway to the ballet company theater, Lillian looked down at her phone. A text came in from Sebastian, whom she had informed as soon as she got the ticket for the ballet. She figured it might be fun to actually go with him and Rebecca, and just enjoy it, but the text was bad news.
The show is all sold out tonight—I can’t find any way to get tickets.
That’s too bad, she typed back.
Your story really must have made a large impact. Usually my ways yield results, but not this time.
What are you, a mob boss? she sent back, laughing a little to herself at the joke.
No, but I just may know a few~
You? A good law-abiding citizen-lawyer? In contact with mob bosses?
You never know. Do a couple of favors for one and they enjoy returning the gift.
She smiled. Sometimes with Sebastian, especially over text, she couldn’t tell what was a joke and what was truth.
She arrived at the ballet theatre, an immaculate, impressive building. Tucking away her phone, she found her way to the back entrance that the letter from the company had directed her to.
She quickly found someone who directed her to the workshop, smiling and congratulating her on the successful story as she passed. A few other employees were getting the theater ready for the night’s performance, greeting and congratulating her as well, some wanting to tell her what their favorite part was, or suggest ideas for further collaborations with the company.
She tried her best to be polite, hurrying along to the workshop, eager to start taking photos.
The sight that greeted her when she arrived was more than what she could have hoped for. There was a wonderful, almost manic energy to the place. It seemed to be pulsing, full of life with the spirit of creation. The seamstresses were fast at work, drafting up costumes from their designs, and sewing on fine embellishments to the fabric that would catch the lights of the stage and reflect to the audience in the most dazzling of ways. One of them was working with fine white feathers, tacking them onto the costume and carefully shaping them with the sharp edge of a knife so that they curled gracefully away from the body.
Lillian almost forgot what she was there to do. Almost.
But she was a photographer, through and through, and her first instinct when she saw something of great beauty or impact was to capture it through her lens.
So, she did, doing her best not to disturb anyone’s work, but wanting to catch the most detailed images possible.
She was so entranced in her work, that she didn’t even notice the coming and going of characters into and out of the room. But one of the seamstress’s head went up, and there was such a conflicted expression in her eyes that Lillian found herself compelled to lift her gaze up to look.
It was that male ballet dancer from the night before, the one who had provided her with such an interesting image of flirtation, and who had consequently attempted to try to flirt with her.
She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but there was something about him that seemed off ―just―slightly.
“Lucas, what are you doing here? Your call time isn’t until later,” the seamstress said, choosing her words carefully.
Some of the younger, pretty assistants were looking on with a great deal of interest, their tasks momentarily forgotten as they gawked at the man and waited for him to bestow attention upon them.
“We didn’t finish our conversation earlier. I didn’t want to leave anything unsaid.” He stalked across the room towards her with a smile, his gait seeming deceptively easy and laid-back.
“There’s nothing to finish, Lucas. I have work to do.” There was a hint of anger in the seamstress’s words, but also an undertone of fear.
“I wouldn’t be interrupting your work,” he said, looking for somewhere to sit.
Recognizing what seemed to be an urgent situation, Lillian stepped up to him, barring his way. He looked down at her with a smile. “Oh? What do we have here?”
“I’m photographing the workshop tonight so I would appreciate it if you didn’t stay,” she said, her tone stern, her expression unyielding.
Lucas shrugged. “Alright, whatever you say pretty girl. I’ll catch you later.” He directed the last part at the seamstress, then left.
Lillian took a deep breath before walking over to the seamstress he had been harassing. “I don’t think we’ve met yet, my name’s Lillian.”
She looked at her with a grateful expression. “Mine’s Bella.”
After finishing taking her photographs, Lillian headed home to drop off her equipment, change, and freshen up, before heading back to the theatre at the time of the performance (though not before promising Rebecca that they would continue their marathon of the current drama they were watching the next night). The cold air was refreshing as she exited her ride.
At this time of night, the city was beautiful, with its lights a buzz, though it did drown out the stars.
That was one of the things Lillian had enjoyed most about her retreat with Rebecca. The stars had been blinding. Every night they shone above them, and it had felt like a completely different world. She never saw the stars here.
Had barely seen them as a kid too. She remembered looking at constellations with Sebastian when they had been stumbling through their first romance, but it was nothing like what she had seen with Rebecca. They had been dull, muted.
Maybe she could convince Sebastian to drive out with them to the country, to stargaze on their backs in a place with no light pollution.
The theater was packed when she entered, and she struggled to find her way to her seat, as many people were already sitting in the row she had been given and she had to awkwardly step over their legs to get to her seat.
Once she did arrive though, she was greeted with a surprise that she would not soon forget. And one that she certainly could have done without.
“Lillian?” he said, raising his head from where it was buried in the program for the evening.
“Ash Bennett? What are you doing here?”
Thirty-Three
Ash was overcome with a feeling of utter shock as he looked at the woman who had rocked his world before he left for tour.
The two of them had experienced such a whirlwind romance after she had photographed him for the magazine she worked for—Illusions, or something like that—that he had thought himself in love with her. Who knows, he may genuinely have had been.
He still had regrets about everything, and how it all ended, for sure, but he hadn’t been expecting to greet them so soon.
But here she was, looking as beautiful as ever, radiating more confidence than he had ever seen her with, and he felt a tug at his heartstrings.
It was like…he was missing her.
Like he was missing her presence.
Like he wanted her back.
But those things were long past, and he knew it would be cruel to ask for a second chance, especially after he had made out with someone else while on tour, even if he had been extremely drunk and out of his right mind. Even though it wasn’t his fault, he knew that he couldn’t just blame the alcohol. In a way, he willed for it to happen. It was a way to excuse himself from responsibility.
For Lillian, Ash was her kryptonite. Seeing him, again—like this—so suddenly, caught her off guard. The butterflies returned to her stomach and she could feel the uneasiness return from days past. Not only were Lillian’s butterflies going, she could feel the air around Ash flutter in the same way.
Timidly, Lillian took her seat.
She peered at him through a side glance, not wanting to show her true colors. And she found out he was doing just the same—they both looked away—beet red in the face.
“Ash, what are you doing here?” she asked, when the silence became too much to bear, she was blushing, and her composure became lost.
“I might ask you the same thing,” he replied, not being able to contain his instinct to give her a little flirty wink but then, slumping in his seat as he realized his wrong move. God, it felt like his mask was up all over again, like nothing had ever truly happened between them. The feeling of vulnerability crept up on him again.
“I got the tickets as a gift,” she said, seeming almost a little defensive.
“My manager wanted me to gain some culture.” He reclined back a bit, eyeing her out of the corner of his vision, trying to drink her in. “He says some outside influences might be good. Rest of the band is scattered around; they couldn’t get us seats all together.” He gestured to the rest of the theater as explanation, and Lillian looked around in response, as if she might be able to pinpoint them.
“Oh.” She was quiet then, sinking into her seat before forcing herself to sit up straight. She rolled her shoulders back and stared ahead, not making any more eye contact.
“So, how have you been?” Ash asked, not entirely ready to relinquish this opportunity for conversation just yet. “Photography been good?”
“Yeah, fine.”
“Come on, where’s the Lillian I know?” he tried with a smile, but she shrugged it off, turning to him with a glare in her eyes.
“Ash, my trust in you, my ability to be myself around you, died the moment you decided to break it. And it’s gonna take a lot more than a few conversational questions for things to get back to where they were, so I suggest you just stop.”
He was quiet. He knew better than to keep pressing. He could tell she was still hurt from their past relationship, but he wasn’t sure how he felt about it at this moment. He wasn’t expecting her to come back into his life so suddenly, not at a place like this.
The announcer in front of the stage started speaking. The lights dimmed down to reveal just the stage, and the spotlight became the center of attention. The crowd drew quiet, along with Lillian and Ash.
She sighed. “I don’t know Ash,” under her breath, “The things that happened between us. I want to move on from them. I think it’s best for the both of us.”
“I understand,” he said, leaning into her. She smelt the flash of cologne off him, bringing back fond memories of past experiences. She stopped herself from having flashbacks but couldn’t stop the instant connection she felt right then and there in her seat.
Her reply was so quiet that he almost didn’t quite catch it. But there it was, and it was likely to haunt his dreams for a long while. “I’m letting you go, Ash.”
With that—the show began. And the two ex-lovers sat in silence, strangers again.
Sebastian was almost asleep after a long day of work when his phone chimed, startling him.
There were only two people that were allowed to make his phone go off at such late hours. Rebecca, and Lillian.
Groaning, he sat up, blinking his eyes at the brightness of his phone screen.
When his vision adjusted, he saw that it was from Lillian. And he really did not enjoy what he read.
Ash was at the ballet. They sat him next to me.
Did someone do that on purpose? He typed back. He was surprised that there weren’t any typos, his fingers were going a million miles a minute.
No, it was just a coincidence.
Some coincidence.
Right? Haha
Sebastian sighed. The current situation did not make him feel like laughing, and he didn’t know how Lillian could think to joke about it. Sebastian could feel the anger inside of him rive, coming up to the surface, about to break out of his skin.
He replied back with, Do you need me to come over?
Isn’t it late?
It’s fine, I’ll just drive over in my pajamas.
It’s okay, I don’t want to bother you.
No, Lillian, you’d never bother me. I can tell this is affecting you. Now; am I coming to you, or are you coming to me?
Lillian shuddered at the power in the words, trying to ignore the undeniable attraction she felt deep in her bones.
She had to admit, it would be nice to be with her best friend right now. She wanted nothing more than to just be distracted, but Rebecca was asleep. She would normally play with Coby, their cat, but he was currently sleeping next to Rebecca, and she didn’t want to disturb either of them.
So she guessed that the best option was to take Sebastian up on his offer. That being, of course, to go over to his place.
Let me get changed into some pjs. Can you call a car for me?
Of course. The reply came in almost instantly, and she smiled to herself as she headed to her room to get changed.
Despite all the nervous energy that was boiling up inside her, she found herself almost falling asleep on the ride over to Sebastian’s. A small hint of her feelings drifted off to another cosmos, she almost felt guilty. She was on her way to Sebastian’s apartment but at the same time, she couldn’t help but wonder, “what if?” What if—with another guy.
A couple minutes later, and Lillian had arrived at her destination. There he was—Sebastian was standing in front of the building in a cotton shirt and sweatpants, looking ever the vision of luxury with his arms crossed. He smiled as he saw her and thanked the driver when she got out of the car.
As the driver drove away, he hugged her to his chest, and Lillian took in a large whiff of his soap—a pine something, a more sophisticated version of what he used as a teenager.
“You doing okay?” he asked, pulling away from her for a moment.
“Of course, just a little mad at myself,” she said. “It’s not like anything happened.”
“I know,” he said with a shrug. “Doesn’t mean that it can’t affect you.”
They headed inside, taking the elevator up to his apartment. Lillian shivered as she realized that this was the first time she had been alone with him since everything had happened…especially this late at night.
When they arrived inside, Sebastian turned to her. “What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know, I didn’t really think that far ahead.”
“I mean, we could talk about it if you want, or just watch a movie until we fall asleep.”
“That sounds nice,” she replied, heading over to the couch.
They eventually settled on some old classic action movie, before settling into the couch.
Lillian was pleased to have the distraction. But she couldn’t help but be distracted in other ways as well. A little part of her kept revisiting old memories. Flash backs happened involuntarily in her head. Whispers of I’ll see you again and the vision of two hands letting go of each other, along with a marathon of past conversations, and a glimpse of his eyes—and then, that sweet sweet smell of cologne. She really couldn’t help herself. It wasn’t Sebastian’s smell… it was Ash’s’.
As they drifted closer to sleep, she ended up leaning on Sebastian, and even in that state of half-consciousness, she was aware of it, and what it was doing to her body.
And she began to wonder, for the first time in a long time, if she wanted things to happen again, if she’d be willing to give Sebastian a third chance. But in the back of her mind, she couldn’t shake the feeling of other outcomes. If in another parallel universe, that things would be different. That perhaps, the impending choice that she was about to make, would alter everything.
Thirty-Four
That same night right after the theatre, Ash attended an after party in a sort of half-blur. He couldn’t believe the chances of sitting right next to his past lover, in the most unexpected place possibly—at a time like this, when his tour had just ended, and he had more spare time on his hands. And not to mention, being back in New York.
Ash had always been a believer in ‘fate’, having made his big break during a small underground concert in The Bronx. He thought that Lillian would be out of his life forever, and yet—there she was, still existing, still a part of his orbit.
At a downtown club somewhere, surrounded by dancing people and smoke, Ash couldn’t help but be deep in his thoughts. Why. Why now?
He couldn’t shake the fact that serendipity had come and bit him in the ass. He was shooting himself in the foot for not taking the chance to re-connect with his past lover. He was having a moment of insane regret. He couldn’t think straight, and the alcohol mixed with other unknown substances were anything but helpful.
