Hard Rock Love Box Set, page 16
She couldn’t hold any of the emotions anymore, and they came rushing through her like the rapids of a river, tearing a course that wreaked havoc on her body as she sobbed into Ash’s arms.
“I’m so sorry Lillian, I’m so sorry,” he repeated, over and over again until the words bled together into a soothing melody as he rubbed her back. “I didn’t know, I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.”
She couldn’t speak the words to let him know it was all okay and that she understood his sentiment, they just sat there in stoic harmony. She could hear it in his apologies, could feel it in the way his fingers twined through her hair, knew it in the heartbeat deep in his chest.
“If I had known, I never would have put my life in danger like that. I would’ve never subjected you to those thoughts again. I’ll never do it again, I’m going to try my best now, okay? I promise. I care about you so much and it hurts me to see you cry like this.”
Being the solider she knew she was, she got herself together, wiping the remaining tears with her sleeve and inhaled deeply as to compose and calm herself.
“We’re going to work through this together, okay? I’m so glad you told me, baby doll. I’m so proud of you, and I love you so much.” He whispered these words into her hair, his breath tickling the top of her head. He continued to hold her like that for a long while, whispering apologies and words of comfort as Lillian slowly calmed down. She felt empty once she had stopped, but a more calm kind of empty.
She knew her face must be red and puffy, and her eyes would be swollen—she could feel it, that icky feeling after a long cry, and she rubbed at her eyes to try and get it to go away. She also felt tired, but more body-tired than sleep-tired, and besides, it was still too early in the day to go to bed. But more than anything, she felt a peace in her heart.
Raising her head, she looked at Ash and whispered a meager, “Thank you.”
“I’m always here to listen, princess. That’s what it means to be in a relationship; I’ll always be here for you.”
She nodded. “I love you; I hope you know that, nothing changes that. And, I want to be there for you too.”
“You already have been.” He kissed her forehead gently, then wiped away the last remnants of her tears. “Now, I think the best thing to do would be to get your mind off of this. Might I suggest a movie?” He gestured at the screen, where Lillian had been watching something before he had showed up. “Maybe with some snacks?” Ash waggled his eyebrows, and Lillian had the sneaking suspicion she knew exactly what he meant by snacks.
“If you expect me to eat those macarons—”
“I’ll eat one first, I promise.”
She pretended to consider his offer for a moment before nodding. “Alright, that sounds fair. But if they’re horrible, you have to know it’s the thought that counts.”
“Then wouldn’t you trust me more to make sure they’re good? That’s quite a lot of faith you have there.”
“You’re the one who brought them as an apology.”
“I thought a difficult sweet would show you that I really do care about you, my beautiful blanket gremlin.”
Lillian rolled her eyes but couldn’t resist the start of a smile.
“You wait here, I’ll grab us food, and find a suitable offering for you,” Ash said, gently setting Lillian down next to him on the couch before dashing away to her bedroom, returning with a large fluffy blanket, and picking up the plate of macarons on the way back.
“I hope you intend for the macarons to be the food and the blanket to be the offering, and not the other way around,” Lillian teased.
Ash faked a nervous laugh, before miming biting into the blanket.
“Don’t get your slobber all over my blanket!” Lillian cried, reaching her hands out for the precious, comfortable warmth.
Ash draped the blanket around Lillian’s shoulders, nuzzling his nose against hers as he did so, laughing as she stuck her tongue out at him when he sat next to her, setting down the plate of macarons and grabbing the remote to turn on the TV. He searched for something to watch together. After some mild bickering about what to watch, and some playful tickling back and forth, they settled on a B-list horror movie, much to Lillian’s delight. Something that was sure to make both of them laugh.
Feeling a lot less troubled now, though the traces of sadness were still lingering at the edges of her mind, Lillian settled in next to Ash, sighing as he wiggled under the blanket. During one of the movies’ overdone jump-scares, Ash attempted to freak Lillian out by poking her under the blanket, to which she caught his hand with a laugh and kissed him.
No longer paying attention to the movie, Ash kissed her back, pulling her onto his lap by her hips. It was gentle, how he held her against him, and Lillian knew he must still feel conscious of her earlier breakdown. But she wasn’t going to fault him for that, she enjoyed how much he cared, and how much he was showing it.
When she had first met him, she would never have thought that this was how he would end up being. She had seen him as the bad boy, the recalcitrant rock star who got everything he ever wanted. And for a while, maybe that had been true. Maybe some of that was still true, because no one changed overnight.
But now she knew the ‘him’ beneath the surface, who he was beyond the teasing and the smirks and the kisses by the river when she had been confused and wondering where her place was. He was broken promises and apologies and mediocre baking skills. He was nicknames and cuddling during terrible movies. He was heartfelt kisses and gentle touches when she was crying.
And, she realized now, he was hers. It felt so good to know that, that he was hers, and no matter where he was going, he was always going to love her, always going to try to be better for her.
She believed it wholeheartedly.
Nineteen
When Sebastian woke up that morning, Bella was still asleep, curled up next to him and resting her head on his chest. She was breathing so peacefully, Sebastian didn’t want to disturb her, but when he looked at the time—9:07—he realized that they should probably get up and make breakfast.
Besides, it wasn’t like he could go back to sleep, especially not with Bella there, looking so attractive, her bare body warm against his. Wanting to savor the moment for a bit longer, Sebastian ran his hand down her side, tracing the curves of her body. Bella shivered in her sleep, and Sebastian marveled at her body. Sometimes when girls took off their clothes, the magic of the accentuation of their outfits revealed something a little different, but even nude, Bella was splendid.
Her hips and breasts were soft and full; she reminded Sebastian of the Greek sculptures of Aphrodite, or the paintings of Venus, or a sumptuous goddess coming down to claim him. Lifting a strand of hair and letting it fall through his fingers like water, Sebastian hoped that she would be powerful enough to make him fall for her. He didn’t want to think of Lillian anymore. He loved her still and knowing that—hurt him more than anything else.
He didn’t want to have to need anyone, especially anyone he couldn’t have. For as long as he could remember, Sebastian had always needed to be in control. And being in a situation like this, where he was vulnerable; where his emotions did not feel like his own—it was the worst thing he could think of.
Bella stirred against him then, her eyelashes flickering as wakefulness slowly came to her body. Sebastian encouraged it along, guided it down the path of her mind with a kiss to her forehead, drawing Bella out of her state of sleep.
“Good morning,” she hummed, sleepy and content.
“Good morning, beautiful, ma belle.”
“You speak French,” Bella said, the words still sounding groggy as she adjusted to her surroundings, stretching out her spine and curling more around Sebastian.
“Sometimes. Does it please you, ma chérie?”
“It’s very sexy,” she replied, nuzzling her head against his chest.
Gently, Sebastian sat up, pulling her up with him, though she let out a small whine. “Glad you think so.”
“In French?”
“Je suis heureuse que tu penses que mon français est sexy.”
“Thank you, or merci I guess.” Bella’s French accent was terrible, not what Sebastian would have expected at all from someone of her charms. For some reason, when he had pictured her speaking French, he had imagined her voice sounding like liquid gold. Instead, she sounded like a school child just starting their foreign language education, and Sebastian had to hold back his laughter at the thought.
“We’ll have to work on your accent,” he teased, “but otherwise, good.” He flashed her the ‘okay’ fingers.
“I’d love for you to teach me,” Bella purred, her eyes going half-lidded and her mouth opening slightly with the suggestion of something much more naughty than some casual French lesson.
“I’m sure you would.” Sebastian rested the back of his hand against her cheek, and Bella leaned into it, before rising up to kiss him on the lips.
She only meant it as a peck, but Sebastian caught her face, and kept her pressed against him, deepening the kiss as morning hunger consumed him, wishing that it was proper to have sex with her again as soon as they woke up, but he knew it would be better to let her anticipate it. He wanted to keep her desire for him prominent so that she would come back to him again and again. She kissed him back, just as ravenously, hands toying with the mess of his hair. When her fingers began to trail down his chest, going for Sebastian’s morning erection, he stopped, pulling away from her.
“Not yet, my hungry little papillon,” he said, enjoying the expression on her face as she pouted in displeasure. “You’ll have to be a good little girl and wait until next time.”
“But I want you now,” she whined, scooting closer.
Sebastian shook his head with a sadistic smile. “You should know that things taste better with anticipation.” He leaned closer to her and whispered in her ear, “I trust you won’t let yourself be pleasured, by yourself or anyone else, until I can tend to your needs.”
A little shiver went through her, and she nodded. “It better be worthwhile then.”
“Oh, I can promise you, it will be...” Sebastian looked at Bella with hungry eyes, and caught himself in a state of engulfed enchantment, pulling himself back to reality. “Shall we get breakfast then.”
“That would be lovely,” she purred. “Shall I put something on first?” she gestured to her body, and Sebastian brought his hand up to his chin, pretending to consider the issue for a moment.
“As tempted as I am to say ‘no’, if only so I can admire your beauty even longer…I am hungry for actual food, and the likelihood of me being distracted if you stay as you are is very high.”
“You know I’d like that thought.”
“Wouldn’t you.” He lightly grabbed her ass, and it fluttered elegantly. “But that would also interfere with my plans for breakfast, and for what I want to do to you next time.” He put his hand in between the crevice of her ass cheeks and lightly grazed her lady bits ever so slightly as not to invoke any unnecessary reactions before breakfast.
She shivered. “I guess I had better put on some clothes then.”
“Yes. In fact, both of us probably should.”
“I wouldn’t mind if you didn’t.” Bella’s face began to blush as waves of desire filled her body.
“It’s a little chilly.”
She pouted. “And that wasn’t a consideration for me?”
He came up behind her and consumed her in his arms, Sebastian shook his head with a smile. “It wasn’t the highest priority, no. And besides, you know I would keep you warm.”
“You still could.”
“Nope, it’s already been decided.” Sebastian moved away from her, heading to his armoire and chest of drawers to pull out sweats and a t-shirt for himself, and another of his t-shirts for Bella. He tossed it at her, winking as he slid on his sweats and she seemed to consider the tee. The grey sweatpants Sebastian put on accentuated his manhood quite nicely, the fabric clinging onto the outline of his more than average size.
“Just a t-shirt for me?”
“Would you like to wear more?”
“No, this is fine…” she said, almost a little too quickly, and slid the shirt on over her head.
“Let’s go make breakfast then,” Sebastian said, kissing her forehead on his way out of the bedroom, knowing that she would follow closely behind him without him even checking to make sure that she was. He headed to the open kitchen and began pulling supplies down from his cabinets. When he turned to grab milk and eggs out of the fridge, he found that Bella had sat herself on top of the counter, looking very pleased with herself as she arranged herself in such a way that it was difficult for Sebastian to ignore the fact that she had nothing on besides his t-shirt, and he was very attracted to her body.
She spread her legs out on the kitchen counter, using his t-shirt to hide her nether regions. Sebastian had to stop in his tracks, and he locked eyes with Bella for a moment of tension and desire. His mind was on breakfast, but Bella’s body distracted him into thinking about the unity of the male and female body.
“You might want to stop that if you actually want food for breakfast,” he said, brushing past her and grabbing what he needed out of the fridge.
“Stop what?” she asked, with an innocent edge to her voice that made Sebastian want to pin her down and show her exactly who she was dealing with.
“You know what you’re doing, temptress.”
“Do I? Maybe I need you to tell me.”
“If you keep that up, I’m kicking you out on an empty stomach so I can eat my pancakes in peace.”
“But you know you like it.”
“Ah yes, as much as you love tormenting me. Now get down off the counter.” He said the last part sternly, in a commanding voice he knew she wouldn’t dare disobey.
Pouting, she slid down, bare feet hitting the floor softly. Sebastian knew from experience that she must be feeling hot now, that she was probably wet for him from just the sound of his voice, but he wasn’t going to address that now; or think about it too much, because then he wouldn’t be able to help but to address it.
Bella slunk around to the other side of the open bar, seating herself on one of the bar stools, a lot more demurely this time, watching as Sebastian mixed together the ingredients. Looking up, he raised his eyebrows. “Are you going to help? Or are you going to just sit there?”
“I think I’d be more of a distraction than a help,” she replied, and Sebastian laughed, a warm sound.
“Ah yes, we did establish that. Do you want to maybe wash some fruit?”
“I don’t know if I could even do that without being a distraction,” she teased. “I’m just a such a distracting person.”
“I should have known, from the moment you walked into that club in that at-first-innocent-seeming dress, that you would just end up being more of a nuisance than a help.”
“That’s sort of rude!” she whined.
“Oh? Am I not correct?”
“No! You know what, fine, I’ll help.” She slid down from the stool, sauntering past him, all long legs and exaggeration of her swaying hips in hand. He chuckled to himself as she passed him and headed for the fridge to select some fruit from his produce.
“Hmm…what goes well with pancakes?” she thought out loud. “Maybe some sumptuous strawberries, what about some tarte and juicy raspberries, maybe a particularly plump orange.”
“I didn’t ask you to make poorly-veiled innuendos, Bella, I asked you to wash some fruit.”
“Who said I was making innuendos? You just have a dirty mind, Sebastian.” She said his name with the same flair that he spoke French with, rolling it around on her tongue, savoring it, drawing out the syllables so it sounded like a dirty little prayer.
“I think we both know your mind is just as dirty.”
“Oh, yah?”
“Your reactions last night certainly seemed to say so.”
Bella pouted, leaving the fridge with a carton of fresh strawberries and another with some raspberries. Sebastian got all his fresh food from the Farmer’s Market—there were a lot of them in New York, always popping up and blocking off some little stretch of road. You could get lots of things at them—vegan pastries, edible flowers, the sweetest fruits you’ve ever tasted, exotic houseplants, bouquets of the highest quality—it was one of the reasons why he loved living in New York City. There were always artists selling their artwork too, and he loved supporting the local vending community, especially the students attending the nearby art schools.
The two of them worked in tandem, teasing each other as they finished making breakfast—perfectly golden crispy pancakes with slices of strawberries, raspberries, and 100% maple syrup imported from Vermont. Sebastian remembered, with a pang of nostalgia, the days that he and Lillian used to make half-burnt pancakes and drench them in butter-flavored syrup—the sugary kind that definitely did not come from trees.
But then there was Bella, seated beside him, giving him little sultry glances as she took the tiniest bites of her breakfast, making sure that he was watching how the fruit entered her mouth, how their juices sometimes dripped so that she would have to lick them up. And he couldn’t be bothered to think of what had been with Lillian anymore. He had someone in front of him, at that very moment, who was very clearly interested in him. And it was a situation he could control, one that he could manipulate to his will. He wasn’t going to let that get away from him.
“You’ve got something on your chin,” he said, leaning forward to wipe a bit of strawberry juice off of Bella’s face with his thumb, then bringing it back to his own mouth to lick it, maintaining eye contact with her.
She gave an involuntary shudder as she watched him, desire filling her eyes as she leaned forward. “And you’ve got something right here.” She brought her hand up to cup his cheek, before kissing his lips, gently, softly.
