Hard Rock Love Box Set, page 10
She appreciated the time and space he was giving her, not forcing his own solution but gently giving her suggestions and allowing her to figure out what was going to work best for her.
She felt revived at work, rejuvenated, and Judy noticed, commenting that she must have gotten some good rest, and that she was happy to have the old Lillian back.
Ana came over during lunch too, nudging Lillian and trying to get her to explain where the clothes had come from, as they were definitely not usual Lillian attire.
“It’s a secret,” Lillian teased, not quite ready to share her escapade with Ash with anyone else yet. She didn’t know if it even meant anything, so there was no point in giving anyone the wrong idea… though with the things he had said, she would be surprised if nothing else came of it.
She texted Ash after work was done to remind him to come pick her up, debating on adding a heart at the end of her message. She decided against it, but was pleasantly surprised when she saw Ash’s reply.
On my way, beautiful. <3
She smiled to herself as she packed up her things, logging out of the computer, setting her desk in order. The day seemed bright to her as she exited the office, the air a pleasant chilly instead of unbearably frigid. It was looking to be a wonderful night, with her mind full of hope and her heart light inside her chest.
The city pulsed like a heartbeat around her, and she took those few moments of waiting for Ash to pull up to take it all in, this living organism that she was existing within. She understood what people meant when they said that the city was alive, or that other cities were alive. It was like a great slumbering beast.
There was a low roar as a familiar car sped around the corner, then slowed to a stop in front of her. The passenger-side window rolled down, and Ash looked out at her with a grin on his handsome and otherworldly face.
“I’m still of the mindset that you look great in my clothes. You should wear them more often.” He winked, and Lillian laughed, rolling her eyes.
“You’re full of yourself, Ash Bennett.”
“Good thing you like me then. Come on, get in.” He opened the door with some effort, and Lillian slid into the slick seat, slamming the door behind her, and laughing as Ash sped off.
“Woah, we’re not in any hurry,” she said. “Or are you so eager to get your clothes back again?”
“If it means seeing you undressed? Then definitely.”
Lillian blushed in spite of herself, feeling her insides twist at the thought. The way he teased was nothing like Sebastian. Sebastian was all manners and clean tongue until he got her alone, and then the anticipation was short-lived. To have Ash be so blunt, and so casual about his attraction… it was a nice change.
“Who says you’re going to see me undressed?” she replied, trying to maintain some sort of cool, coy exterior. Of course, it failed. She couldn’t exactly come up with a good comeback with Ash sitting right there, giving her a sideways glance every so often.
He shrugged. “Depends on what you want, baby doll. But if I’m reading the mood correctly, then you want me to see you without any clothes on. I bet you’d even take pleasure in removing them in front of me, teasing me as you took your sweet time taking off each item, not letting me help you, no matter how badly I wanted.”
Lillian shivered with delight at the thought. It was true. That was something she would enjoy immensely, having that sort of power over Ash, when he seemed to possess so much power over her. She wanted to see him red and blushing and frustrated from her teasing for once, to turn the tables.
“You may be right, but I don’t remember that being the plan for tonight.”
“There was a plan?” Ash raised his eyebrows, and Lillian nudged him with her shoulder.
“You know what I mean.”
“I don’t think I do, princess. Would you mind spelling it out for me? What exactly was this plan for tonight?”
“Well, I was going to grab my stuff from your apartment, and then head back to my own to talk with Rebecca and ask her to take the clothes back to Sebastian.”
Suddenly, Ash was all seriousness again. “Of course, whatever you need. Do you want me to stay with you while you talk to her?”
Lillian shook her head. “No, I think this is something I need to do on my own. I appreciate it though.”
“Would you be up for dinner after you’re done then? I’m assuming you haven’t eaten yet.”
Uncomfortably, Lillian was reminded of dinners with Sebastian. It wasn’t like the activity was inherently related to him, or belonged to him in any sense, but she still couldn’t help it. As if anticipating this, Ash added, “Of course, we definitely don’t have to go out to have dinner. I was planning on making fried rice, and I always end up making too much anyways.”
“After your pancakes this morning? I don’t know if I can really trust your fried rice skills,” Lillian teased, grateful to Ash for subduing the anxiety, even if he didn’t even know that he had done it.
“Awwwww, come on, that was one time, and you were very distracting.”
“I was wrapped up in a blanket!”
“What can I say, I’m attracted to cozy gremlins.”
“Aha!” Lillian pointed at him with playful accusation. “I knew it. You have a gremlin fetish.”
“You caught me. The gigs up. Please don’t publish this in your next issue.”
“It’s going to cost you.”
“I’ll pay anything.” Ash made eye contact with Lillian as he said this, and the implication behind those words paired with that expression sent shivers down her spine.
“My cost for secrecy is some good fried rice.”
“You better not wear any blankets then, my little gremlin.” Ash booped Lillian on the nose, and she stuck her tongue out at him.
“Fine then, I’ll wear nothing.”
The light in front of them turned red, and as they slowed to a stop, Ash turned to look at Lillian, his eyes full of lust in the dark, his hand landing on her thigh and sending currents of electricity up her spine. “I’ll keep you to that.” The words were deep, heavy with desire, they landed in the space between them like chests filled with gold.
Lillian’s thoughts were running through her mind at a mile a minute. She couldn’t keep track of them, and so she did the only thing she knew how to do diffuse the situation.
“Boop,” she said, poking his nose with her finger.
Ash’s entire face scrunched up in confusion, making him look like a squirrel, then he broke into laughter, deep and rolling, his hand squeezing Lillian’s thigh once before returning to his own side.
“So that’s how you respond, huh.”
Lillian’s entire face went red. It was perhaps the worst thing she could have done in that moment. She should have just kissed him! Even if they were in a car, and not much could happen, at least it would show that she was taking charge, that she appreciated the words and the sentiment and the obvious attraction behind them.
“Sorry,” she said, her voice muffled as she buried her face in her hands.
The light turned green, and Ash sped up again, saying without looking at her, “Don’t apologize. I think it’s cute how flustered you get.”
“But I want you to be the one who’s flustered. And it always backfires,” Lillian replied, her voice still muffled.
“What can I say? I have a strong constitution.”
“But I want you to be flustered.”
“What was that?”
“I want you to be flustered,” Lillian repeated, raising her head and looking directly at Ash.
“Believe me, it’s easier than you think to do that,” Ash said, taking his eyes off the road for just a moment to give her body a meaningful once-over. “You just haven’t experimented enough yet.”
They had arrived back at his apartment building, and Ash parked the car, turning the key to the off position, and turning to Lillian with desire written all over his face.
“Want to try it?”
Lillian pretended to think it over for a moment, feeling coy again as Ash waited for her reply. “Mmmmmmm, I don’t think you’ve earned it yet,” she said, exiting the car and slamming the door behind her before Ash had time to react.
He laughed as he followed her into the elevators and used his key to get them back up to his floor. Once there, they gathered Lillian’s things, and then it was off to her apartment.
Thanks to Ash, Lillian was not as nervous as she had been to talk to Rebecca. But that wasn’t to say that she wasn’t still nervous, because she was. She was worried that Sebastian would take offense to the things she had said, to the way she had reacted, to her returning his gifts especially.
They were the nicest pieces of clothing she had ever owned, but she knew she would only feel guilt wearing or keeping them, so it really was better this way.
And as for Rebecca…well, she worried that Sebastian’s opinion might influence her roommate’s. She didn’t want things to be awkward or tense, not when the two of them had had such a great living dynamic together. She didn’t want to lose the ease with which they coexisted, but she understood that she most certainly would if she didn’t communicate to Rebecca what happened and how she was feeling.
So, there was no way around it.
She took a deep breath and then turned the handle, the door opening without a noise. Rebecca, who was sitting on the couch, still lifted her head anyways, her eyes lighting up in recognition as her gaze landed on her roommate.
She was up in a moment, across the room, hugging Lillian tight to her chest. “Where were you?” she whispered, her voice more concerned than Lillian was expecting. “You didn’t text me at all, I was worried.”
“I’m sorry. There were some things I had to process… I… I didn’t want to come home, but I should have told you that, I’m sorry.”
“Is this about Sebastian?” Rebecca asked, pulling away from Lillian for a moment.
“I… yes.” Lillian was ashamed, but she knew there was no way to avoid this. She had decided she was going to talk to Rebecca, and so that was the only thing to do. “Can I talk to you about it?”
“Of course, come sit down, what do you need to talk about?” Rebecca asked, guiding Lillian over to the couch.
“I’ve been feeling…uncomfortable with Sebastian recently. I kind of left in a rush the other night, and it’s really been affecting me.” Lillian explained what had happened with her relationship recently, and Rebecca listened sympathetically, letting Lillian get it all out.
“So, I needed to be away from you for a night,” Lillian concluded. “And…I would really appreciate it if you could return the clothes to Sebastian.”
“Of course, of course, don’t worry about it.”
“And…” Lillian turned her gaze to the ground, unable to make eye contact with Rebecca. “… I hope this won’t affect our relationship at all.”
Rebecca surprised Lillian by pulling her close to her chest for a bone-crushing hug. “Of course not, Lillian. What happened between you and my stepbrother isn’t going to affect how I view or treat you. That would be terrible of me to judge you for that, or to let it affect our friendship.”
“Thank you,” Lillian whispered, glad that that was finally off her chest.
Lillian texted Ash once she and Rebecca were done talking, and then got changed. She knew it wasn’t a fancy dinner or anything… but she still wanted to look nice for him. She put on a tight pink crop top and a pair of leggings, deciding to pair comfort and attractiveness, knowing that Ash would appreciate how it showed off her body. And then, since it was cold, she put Ash’s sweater back on.
She liked the way she felt in it, like she was part of his world somehow. It had that familiar scent that was distinctly his to it, a little bit of smoke, something musky, and then a rich amber-type scent she couldn’t exactly identify. It made her feel safe, even though she knew deep in her heart that Ash was anything but that.
Some part of her was still whispering that she was going to get hurt, that she was going to have her heart broken. The rest of her hoped that it wouldn’t, because there was no way she could keep herself away from him any longer, not now.
Her phone chimed, and a quick glance at the screen confirmed that Ash was there, ready to take her back to his place.
“Don’t wait up for me,” she said on her way out, to which Rebecca smiled slyly.
“I’ll take that to mean you’re spending the night at mystery man’s again?”
Lillian hesitated. She hadn’t considered the possibility that she may be spending the night, but she shook the thought off. She would cross that bridge when she came to it, not now. And if she didn’t want to do anything that night, she trusted Ash to respect her decision and understand her need for space.
“Maybe,” she said with a wink, and then shut the apartment door behind her, a warm heat blooming in her chest when her eyes caught sight of Ash’s now familiar car.
“I see you’ve opted for the smart choice again,” she said as she slid into the passenger seat.
Ash laughed. “You could make it a little less obvious that you don’t like my motorcycle. But yes, I thought you might appreciate taking the car again.”
“Thank you.”
“Though I will convert you to the way of the motorcycle eventually, I swear.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Lillian teased. “I don’t know if I’ll ever prefer motorcycles to cars.”
“But you have to agree that it is thrilling. Pressed close against me, just the two of us against the world, a firm embrace the only thing keeping you from slipping off, your trust in me essential.”
“I still have to trust you to ride in the car with you,” Lillian pointed out.
“But riding in the car doesn’t require physical contact or bring about quite the same rush.”
“Who says it can’t?” Lillian rested her hand on top of Ash’s thigh, teasing him by running her fingers up and down. “The car allows for much more interesting contact, and a lot more privacy.”
“Which I would love to explore with you,” Ash said, turning to face Lillian as they reached a red light.
He pulled her against him, kissing her fervently, running a hand up and down her side, teasing at the hem of her crop top.
“Green,” Lillian whispered when the light changed, almost too distracted to notice it.
Ash pulled away immediately, hitting the gas before anyone could honk at him. Lillian was left feeling breathless and a little aroused by the sudden contact. It had come without any warning, and she found, surprisingly, that she liked that, the sort of uncertainty and wildness it brought.
“What was that?” she demanded when she had caught her breath again.
“Mmmmmm, an experiment,” Ash teased. “To see how thrilling cars can really be.”
“Well, you definitely can’t do that on a motorcycle,” Lillian mused.
“Right you are.”
Ash’s apartment was just as it had been the night before. Warm. Nostalgic. It still held that feeling of safety to it, maybe even more so now.
“Make yourself at home,” Ash said as he shut the door behind them, already heading to the kitchen to start pulling ingredients out of the fridge. “I’ll let you know when the fried rice is done.”
“Thank you,” Lillian said, but Ash just laughed.
“Of course, any time, princess. I’m always happy to spend time with you.”
While Ash made the fried rice, Lillian flipped through one of his many art books on the couch. She could see from it where he got his inspiration—it was filled with pictures from the earliest issues of The Rolling Stone magazine. Some of them had been pictures she had also admired growing up, and she traced a finger over these before setting the book aside.
There was also a book of impressionist paintings sitting on the side table, and so she picked it up, admiring the beautiful colors, the landscapes and emotions the artists managed to create with such interpretive brush strokes.
These things were why she liked him, she thought, the depths that the world outside didn’t see. Ash Bennett may be a bad boy Rockstar, but he was also a collector and an art lover and a fan of old cheesy science fiction movies.
“What are you looking at?” Ash asked, coming up on Lillian from behind, surprising her.
She slammed the book shut, though she realized that she had nothing to feel guilty about.
“Just looking at your books,” she replied, and Ash raised his eyebrows.
“Well, I would let you enjoy those books all you wanted, but I finished making fried rice and need a second opinion on the taste. Care to join me?”
“I would love to.”
Lillian took Ash’s hand and let him lead her to the table, where two steaming bowls of fried rice were waiting.
True to his word, Ash actually made pretty good fried rice. Much better than Lillian was expecting, for sure, and much better than she had ever done.
They took their time eating, joking around and teasing each other, the conversation never straying too much towards the more explicit side of things. That is talk not for the kitchen table, Ash had teased when Lillian had made a comment on his lack of advances. Of course, if you wanted me to take you on the kitchen table, that would be another matter entirely. He said this with a wink, so Lillian knew he was joking. Probably.
She didn’t want him to take her on the kitchen table though, so that was a path of thoughts she didn’t need to explore, certainly not while she was trying to eat.
When they had finished Lillian took Ash’s plate to the kitchen, proclaiming that it was only fair she washed up since Ash had cooked. He did not argue with this, retreating to the living room to read something.
He looked up when Lillian emerged from the kitchen after cleaning up. “So, what do you want to do?” he asked.
“What?”
“I asked what you wanted to do. You’re welcome to spend the night if you want, or I can take you back to your apartment. We could also do something, if that’s what you’re in the mood for.”
