Never Kiss a Cowgirl, page 25
“You don’t have to ask. The way forward is together, but sometimes it’s nice for one of us to lead. Today, if you allow me, it’ll be my turn.” She kissed Reagan’s neck and straightened up. Wade was making his way toward the house, and she stared at him and his horse moving at a canter.
“Is your plan to throw her into the manure pile?” Reagan turned and put her hands on Asher’s neck.
“I’ve been waiting on her. I can’t be sure, but I think Wade took care of her last time. He wouldn’t tell me how much he gave her, but it must’ve been substantial if we haven’t heard from her in all this time. Unless she contacted you in Seattle.”
“Just once, but I didn’t want to see her.” Reagan didn’t look at her when she said that, and she thought it was because of the situation now.
She offered Reagan her hand and led her to the back where Christine seemed to be taking inventory of her surroundings. It was probably a way to gauge how much to ask for. “Christine,” she said, getting her attention. “What can we do for you?”
“Asher, look at you, all grown up and so handsome.” Christine’s eyes were on their joined hands, and her smile was coy. “You’re doing well from what I can tell.”
“I am, but I’m not sure why you’re here.” It was no use being nice to this woman. She didn’t want to waste her time on someone who’d never change.
“Don’t be hostile, darlin’. You know I’ve always had a soft spot for you, but I’m here to see my daughter. It’s been way too long, and then there’s the matter of you using Moon Touch land.” Asher pressed her fingers to Reagan’s palm to keep her from showing emotion. “I saw the new fences going up where I have a say. You’re trespassing from what I can tell, and we need to talk about that.”
“I don’t think that’s right.” She let Reagan go and took a step forward. When Christine took a small step back, it made her want to keep leading her toward the back door. “Now that you’ve seen Reagan, how about you and me talk business?”
Christine followed her, after picking up an old messenger bag that she must’ve bought at a secondhand store. Her eyes widened a bit when they entered the office and Christine stared at the desk. She’d be amazed if Christine remembered where it had come from. Then again, Christine went through life like an appraiser at an auction. When it came to money and things, she was always aware only because it might benefit her.
“It’s easy to see who raised you, and the moves he taught you to intimidate me.” Christine laughed as she sat across from her and crossed her legs. “Your hero wasn’t the big man you all thought he was.”
“I was raised by three good men. They believed in family, loyalty, and commitment.” She steepled her fingers in front of her. “We’re not here to talk about that either, so let’s cut to it. What do you want?”
“Half of everything. The way I see it, half this place and everything else is mine. If you’re a good girl, I’ll let you keep the desk. It’s so you.” For dramatic effect, Christine dropped a stack of papers in front of her. “It’s all in there.”
Whatever this was, each page was yellowed with age. She took her time and got the gist of what this was. It was a will supposedly written by Silas giving Christine half of everything he owned, which Christine obviously thought included Pemberley. It was creative, but she knew better.
“How much will it take to get you to walk out of here and not come back?” She dropped the pile back in front of Christine and leaned back. “Think carefully, because if you agree, I’ll have you arrested for trespassing if you come back.”
“You can’t keep me from Reagan, and you know what it’ll take. You aren’t family, Asher, so you have no right to any of this.” Christine’s voice started to rise, and it made Asher laugh. “Half of everything is what it’ll take.”
Asher opened the bottom drawer of the desk and pulled out a file. “This is the certified copy of Silas’s will. It leaves everything in the estate to Wade and Reagan. You have no right to anything, especially here. Pemberley is mine outright, and the only one I’m sharing it with is Reagan, so stop wasting my time with this bullshit.” She slammed her hand down, and Christine flinched. “How much?”
“If I’m not getting anything, then why offer me anything?” Christine appeared to be getting comfortable. She was staying, and she seemed resolute in getting what she wanted. “I still have the option of going to court. Maybe I lose but maybe I don’t. No one’s heard my side of the story.”
“I know your side of the fantasy you choose to believe. The truth is, you left your child and your husband once you figured out there was no big payday.” She slammed her hand again, ready to be done with this. Outside she heard the front door open and close and guessed Wade had finally arrived.
“A million and you never see me again.”
Asher just stared at Christine and finally laughed when she saw she was serious. “A million dollars?”
“You don’t look like a fool, Asher, so pay attention. Silas is dead, so I’m all Reagan has. If you don’t want me to talk her into turning her back on all this, cut the check.” Christine smiled in a way that was like a brash billboard advertisement that she had a secret that was too good not to share. “I’ve done it before, and I’m sure I can pull it off again.”
“What…?” It hit her like Albert sitting on her chest. Give it to Christine to make the pain she’d suffered make perfect sense in the time it would take to snap her fingers. Reagan had been angry with Silas, and she’d turned to the one person who was an expert in hating him. Never mind that Asher had been collateral damage. Christine was like living napalm, and that’s who Reagan had used to burn her to the ground.
“See, you’re not a fool. You’re just like him, and I tried my best to make her see that. She was never going to be your first choice in life. It’s this fucking place, the bulls, and the role of big man that’ll always win out over her.” Christine laughed, and Asher couldn’t breathe being locked in this room with her. “How much is she worth to you?”
She pulled out her checkbook and with a shaking hand wrote until she signed her name and put the pen down. “Take it, and don’t come back. Reagan is free to have whatever relationship she wants with you, but you’re no longer welcome here.”
Christine glanced down and snarled. “Fuck you, Asher. You asked for this.”
The door opened and Reagan stood there with an unreadable expression. “Honey?”
“Give it your best shot, Christine, but there’ll be no more.” Everything Wade had said came back to her, and she tried to tamp down her anger. Blaming Reagan now for a weak moment when she was eighteen wasn’t fair, but it did put a spotlight on why she was afraid.
She gave in to the need for fresh air and left. It was a cowardly thing to do, but it was impossible to be strong all the time. “Fuck.” She waited until she was at the fence to scream that into the air, and her mood summoned Albert and Booker. Trying to recover from losing Reagan again wasn’t going to be as easy the second time around, and the first time hadn’t been such easy riding. “Fuck.” It was the best way to summarize everything in her head. She’d deal with the fact her heart didn’t agree later.
* * *
The tension in the office ratcheted up after Asher left, and Reagan didn’t want to waste time with the shitstorm her mother had started. She’d stood outside the door but wasn’t quick enough to open it before Christine gave Asher a history lesson. The truth was that she should’ve been honest with the entire truth before now. That was harder to face than Asher would be once she got rid of Christine.
“You had to tell her, didn’t you?” she asked, and Christine appeared unfazed.
“Sweetheart, you have to face the fact that I’m the best friend you got in this world. Did you see how fast she ran out of here?” Christine pointed in the direction Asher had gone. “She’s not in it for the long haul. You and me can sell our share and start over somewhere better than this.”
Reagan stepped forward and snatched the check from Christine’s fingers and glanced down. This was from Asher’s private account and not the ranch’s. Asher was trying her best to make it right for her, and she’d let her down in spectacular fashion. Christine lunged at her when she tore the check in two and then tore it again, letting the pieces fall to the ground.
“Get out and don’t come back. I’m not eighteen anymore, and I’m not falling for this again. What you don’t understand is how much Asher loves me because you don’t have the first clue what love is.” She put her hand up when Christine started to move toward her. “It took me a month before I figured out what you did back then, before you disappeared again, I mean. Once Daddy’s will had been read and there was nothing in it for you, it was a couple of years before I heard from you again.”
“It wasn’t like that. I was trying to keep down two jobs so I wouldn’t be on the streets, not that you care.” When all else failed, Christine could fabricate guilt out of nothing. “I’m your mother.”
“You gave birth to me, I’m not denying that, but you’re no one’s mother. I live with the guilt of how my relationship with Daddy ended because of the lies you sold me. It was my fault for believing you, so that’s not on you.” She pointed to the door, and Christine shook her head. “Asher forgave me, though, and I am starting over,” she said forcefully, “here with Asher, and she was right. You’re not welcome here or at Moon Touch.”
“You can’t do that.”
“Don’t make me get one of the hands to come and remove you,” she said, headed for the phone.
“I’ll take care of it, Buckaroo,” Uncle Wade said. “You heard her, Christine. There’s nothing for you here, so get out.” He slammed the door after Christine walked through it before facing Reagan. “Hell, little girl, I’m out there giving Asher a lecture and she comes home to this? Do whatever you need to, but fix this.”
She walked out and found Asher at the fence like she had that first day they worked on her ankle together. This time, though, Booker had joined Albert in offering comfort. “Please let me explain before you throw me out along with Christine.”
“She’s why you left?” Asher asked without facing her.
“Please, honey, let me talk to you. When Daddy got hurt and was in the hospital, Christine somehow found out about it. She called the house and caught me at a bad moment,” she said and sighed. “I was angry and I fell for her lies. I stayed angry because I didn’t know how to let it go, and it cost me so much. When the anger subsided, all that was left was guilt over what I’d done to you, and how I ended it with Daddy. After a year went by, I didn’t see a way out of what I’d done—there was no way to fix it.”
“Reagan, I wrote to you for two years.” Asher wasn’t exactly yelling, but her voice had risen. “That should’ve proved to you I wasn’t angry, and you had a way home.” Asher faced her then, but she knew better than to come closer and touch her. “You put me through hell, and it was all because of Christine. I don’t know what to say to that. That she’s the one who told me is like a gut punch.”
“Do you know how hard it’s been to keep that from you? I’m a fool, and of all the things I could’ve done to lose you, I can’t believe it’s this.” Jesus Christ, she couldn’t stop the tears again, and the hurt would never completely fade. “You have to know how mad at Daddy I was when he decided to go to that last rodeo. When he died, Christine sounded so reasonable, and she agreed with me.”
“How long did she stick around?” Asher sounded flat, and they’d known each other long enough for Reagan to recognize it was a way of protecting herself.
“When she found out there was nothing for her in the will. What I did, it’s not forgivable. I know that, but sometimes you don’t see a way out because of grief, anger, and sadness. It’s not an excuse, but it’s what happened.”
“It’s not a deal breaker, Reagan, but it’s a lot to process. Why didn’t you tell me?” Asher leaned back against the fence, and Albert rested his chin on her head.
“I was trying to find a way, but I was scared.” She shook her head. “It was more like I was terrified. I’d already hurt you so much, and this would’ve ended my chance with you if I’d told you. At least that’s what I convinced myself of.”
“Uncle Wade and I just had a talk where I told him the same thing, about being afraid. I’m afraid that you’ll get bored and leave again.” Asher tilted her head back and took a deep breath. “I didn’t understand it the first time, and I sure as hell wouldn’t get it now.”
“Honey, I did not just go through all this to leave. Granted, I’m sure you’ll toss me out now, along with my degenerate mother, but I want to marry you, not leave you.” She took a chance and put her arms around Asher and held on. There was no way she could admit it to herself, but if this was going to be the last time, she wanted to memorize everything about the feel of Asher.
“I’m beginning to think we’re both fools, and because we are, we’re a perfect match for each other.” Asher’s arms came up and held her.
She laughed through her tears and counted herself lucky that fate had thrown her so many chances to get it right. “Why do you think so?” Her tears wet Asher’s T-shirt, and she took a deep breath to control her emotions.
“We’ve both run these what-if scenarios in our heads,” Asher said, “and have been too chickenshit to talk about it like reasonable adults.”
“I’d say that was insulting, but you’ve included yourself in that assessment of the situation. You’re right, though.” It was a good thing Asher was holding her because she was weak enough to fall to the ground from relief. “Listening to anything Christine had to say, no matter how old I was, makes me the biggest fool of all.”
“You’re right,” Asher teased and squirmed when Reagan pinched her. “Let’s make a promise that there’ll be no more secrets, and we’ll try to do better when it comes to talking about what’s going on with both of us.”
“I know I asked you this already, but it’s that simple?” She was chanting yes over and over in her head, hoping Asher picked up on her mental hints.
“When you love someone, it’s easy to not only forgive but to forget. My dad used to tell me that all the time when he talked about him and my mom. They weren’t together long, but like Silas, once she was gone, he never sought out anyone else.” Asher framed her face and kissed her. “The only thing that really chaps my ass is that I gave Christine fifty grand. It’s like paying her off for the most miserable years of my life.”
“Actually, honey, your check is sitting on the floor of the office. I might sound like a heartless bitch, but I told her to never come back.” She took Asher’s hand when she headed to the barn closest to the house. Asher led out one of the young horses and vaulted onto his back without a saddle.
Reagan didn’t hesitate to take a hand up when Asher offered it to her and hung on as Asher got them moving. They rode in silence until late afternoon, and they checked on the dairy barn that only needed a few finishing touches. She listened to Asher talk about all the things left to do before production ramped up. It was then—not that she needed the proof—that she knew she’d be happy if only Asher loved her until death parted them. Love wasn’t found in the big grandiose overtures, but in the minutiae of the everyday.
Listening to Asher talk about what they would build might have been the big sweeping picture of the future, but the small details of what they were working toward made her daydream about all the things she’d never contemplated. In her mind’s eye she could see children running around the big barn, trying to hide from going to school. They would all look like Asher and grow to love the land and the animals as much as the mother who’d teach them to.
“I love you,” she said, squeezing Asher’s middle as they headed back to the house.
“I love you too, Buckaroo, and we’re going to be okay.” Asher’s voice was soft and wistful, and she wanted to reconnect to assure herself that what Asher was saying was how she felt.
“Want to turn in early tonight?” she asked when Asher helped her down. “I’m exhausted.”
“How about a bath first?” Asher gave her a piggyback ride to the house but put her down when she spotted Uncle Wade.
“Asher, a word please,” he said, not getting up from the rocker he sat in.
“Tomorrow, Uncle Wade—then you can ask whatever you want to,” Asher said.
“Thanks for earlier, though,” Reagan told him. “And stop frowning. Everything is fine.”
“It’d better be,” Wade said and winked.
“Trust me, she’s a keeper, and I love her.” That she meant, and she hoped Asher knew her as well as she knew ranching.
Chapter Twenty-two
Asher waited for their bags in the Vegas airport as Reagan stood to the side, talking to the driver who’d been sent to bring them to the Bellagio. They’d spent the days since Christine had come by with her big revelations in a kind of silent limbo that she was growing tired of. Eggshells were meant for chickens, but even after their talk about being honest and open, they were still hesitant.
“You ready?” she asked, shaking her head when the driver went to grab the bags. Carrying something made her feel more useful than breathing next to Reagan.
“Stan here was telling me we might make the next fountain show, honey,” Reagan said. She was talking, but she didn’t sound the same to Asher. Reagan sounded as if she was choking the words out, and she was getting tired of trying to get her to open up. “It’s been forever since I’ve been here.”
“I don’t usually do much but the championships while I’m here, but it might be nice to take a few days before I get started.” Stan dumped everything in the trunk while Asher glanced out the car window as Reagan took her hand. “Maybe tonight we could go out somewhere and have dinner. You’ve been stuck in the kitchen so long that I think Rickie is going to start complaining.”
