In Command, page 12
I nodded. “Okay.”
But once the guy started ringing up the bags of candy, I started to panic a little. “It’s too much,” I said to Lorne.
He gripped me by the shoulders and bent forward so that we were eye to eye. “No. It’s really not. I haven’t gotten to spoil you for thirteen years, and I have a lot to make up for. So, please. Help me out a little. Let me buy you some things today. Or buy things for your friends. Or anyone you feel might need something. Just let me do this. Please.”
There was something about his tone—a desperation that made my heart ache with his pain.
And so I swallowed down the anxiety of spending money.
He was the High King. This was good for the man selling him the candy. It was okay to buy something.
“Okay.”
Lorne stared at me for a second, and then he stood upright and spoke to the man running the stall.
The candy man quickly turned, bagged something separate, and handed it over.
Lorne took it and turned back to me. “This used to be your favorite.”
I opened the bag. Inside was a single little bright yellowish-orange cube that was soft and a little sticky. I took a bite and then grinned. “Melon! It’s melon flavored.”
Lorne grinned. “It is. Yes.” All the sad in his eyes was instantly gone, and now I felt like I’d won.
I handed him back the bag. “More, please.”
I thought Lorne would just take the bag, but instead he wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me in for a long kiss.
If I’d been able to think about anyone else, I would’ve been embarrassed by kissing him like this in public, but I couldn’t.
I couldn’t think.
I wrapped my hands around his neck, lost myself in the feel of his lips against mine, his tongue against mine, his hands in my hair.
I was breathless when he pulled away just enough to rest his brow on my forehead.
“Thank you,” he said.
“For what? The kiss?” I licked my lips. “No problem, but you started it.”
He closed his eyes and huffed a soft laugh. “No. That, too. But I meant for asking for more candy.”
I placed my hand on his cheek and his eyes opened. All I could see was love and happiness and safety—always safety—in his aquamarine gaze. “I’m sorry. I feel like I keep hurting you, but I honestly don’t mean to.”
“I know you don’t, and none of it’s your fault. I just happen to truly love you, and when I know the extent of your hardship… it’s not an easy thing for me to let go of.” He stepped back, handed the bag back to the candy guy who was smiling at us as if we’d just made his year. People were starting to gather around his stall, waiting for us to finish so that they could buy whatever we were buying. A few were taking pictures, but I tried to ignore them.
Lorne said something in Aunare, and the man hurried to fill a much larger bag. It was clear and as big as my head, and part of me wanted to say no. That was more sweets than I’d ever had in my entire life, but the part of me that wanted the candy won.
I held my hands out for it, but Lorne lifted it just out of reach. “You’ll make yourself sick on these, so only a few.”
I gave him my best pout.
“Okay, more than a few, but seriously, Amihanna. Not too many.”
I gave him a salute. “Sure thing.” I held out my hand, wiggling my fingers. “Mine, please.”
Lorne handed it over, and I quickly opened the bag. As I popped another melon candy into my mouth, I looked around the market.
Okay, Lorne was hurting because he wanted to buy things for me, and I kept refusing. But maybe shopping wasn’t so bad. Relationships were about compromise, and so tonight I would compromise. I’d try doing this his way, and it was a bonus that anything I bought would benefit the owners in multiple ways. Which was a good thing. A very good thing.
I just had to let go of my past and enjoy the moment.
I could do that.
I popped another candy.
Where did I want to go next?
I scanned the market and popped two more into my mouth.
There was a candle stand not far off. Audrey once said she liked candles. I’d met Audrey on Abaddon. She’d been my medic there, and now she was one of my closest friends. She always moaned about how I would’ve felt better with the nanos if she was burning a soothing candle. That was complete crap because nothing—nothing—would’ve made those tiny bots running through my veins, ripping me apart from the inside to repair the damage to my body feel even remotely better. But clearly she thought so.
Maybe I could get her something from there for when she got back from her trip.
I popped two more candies in my mouth, and then the bag was yanked from my hands.
I glanced up to see Lorne shaking his head at me. “Like a child with this candy still? Even after all these years and my warning?”
Ashino was the first to laugh, and then the candy man laughed. And then the people now lining up around the stall to buy candy started laughing, and from there it spread to everyone in the market.
Oh man. This was embarrassing. “I didn’t have that many.”
“In the last thirty seconds, you downed six.” Lorne bent down and brushed a kiss against my lips. “You’re not to be trusted with these,” he said as he stood.
I tried to reach around to sneak them from his grip, but he tossed them to Ashino.
“Come on, Ashino.” I gave him a wide-eyed look that I thought might soften him up. “Just a few more.” Those candies were addictive. The perfect soft but chewy and sweet but with a tang. I could’ve eaten that whole bag.
Ashino gave me a look like he wanted to give it back. He sighed and reached into the bag, but Eshrin ripped it from his hands.
“These really will make you sick. It’s too much concentrated melon with too much sugar.” Eshrin glanced at the bag. “His majesty went overboard. This is enough to last you at least a turn around the suns.”
Ashino threw me a couple candies, and I laughed. “I knew I liked you.”
Lorne shook his head at me but he was smiling like the happiest idiot on Sel’Ani.
I shoved the candies into my mouth before he could think about taking them from me. “That’s it,” I said around a full, candy-stuffed mouth. “That’s all.” I started to move through the market, but Lorne picked me up and threw me over a shoulder.
I swallowed the candy, and then hit his back. “Put me down.”
“I saw something you might like over here. I’ll put you down when we’re far away from the candy.”
I relaxed into his hold. Giggles followed us as we walked, but I didn’t mind. I was having too much fun.
I’d had so many hard nights. So many scary nights when I wasn’t sure I’d live to see morning, but tonight was a good one.
Tonight was a really good one.
So, I was going to let Lorne push me out of my comfort zone and buy some things. Because surviving meant living, and damn it, I’d worked hard to get to this point.
To be here, safe, with the man I loved, who loved me.
This was life, and I was going to enjoy it.
I’d earned it.
Chapter Twelve
AMIHANNA
By the time we decided to head home, I’d become quite the shopper.
I’d gotten a few candles for Audrey. She was due back in two days with Tyler—who had been a prisoner with us on Abaddon, but was now her boyfriend—and I couldn’t wait to see her. It felt like too much had happened while she was away, but I was glad she’d taken time to see her extended family. I wanted to have something for her when she got back, and now I did.
And once I found stuff for other people, I started to find a few things for myself—some pocket weapons, a cool ring that was shaped like a firedrake. For some stupid reason, I thought the firedrake had Lorne’s smile but no one else saw it. Ashino pretended to, but he was just being nice.
My favorite purchase was a backpack loaded with hidden pockets and zippers and yet feather light. I already had enough go-bags stuck everywhere, but this backpack was next level and I couldn’t leave without it.
And the bracelets. That was another favorite. They were those Lorne had been telling me about that could store power. They were one inch wide and made of some kind of flexible metal. They wrapped around my wrist, hugging it like a second skin. They’d been silvery at first, but by the time the ship landed at the estate, they were glowing with a warm white light. Only a tiny bit of silver was left around the edges.
I held them out for Lorne to see. “Look. They’re working.”
“Hmm.” He tapped the one on my right wrist, and it blinked fast five times. “Good. They’re fully charged.”
I dropped my hands to my sides. “You don’t think it’s cheating?”
He gave a nod to some of the security as we entered the estate. “No, it’s not cheating. Not unless you use them all the time.”
I stared down at them as we walked through the halls, winding our way to our suite. “So, should I take them off?”
“You can now that they’re fully charged. These you should store for later, but you can put on the other pair we bought when you’re doing something that might cause you to lose control. For most people, the bracelets would syphon off enough power to make sure they’re not dangerous, but honestly, you have so much inside you that if you really lost control, they wouldn’t help that much.”
“Oh.” That was disappointing. “Then, what’s the point?”
We passed one of the kitchen maids—I couldn’t remember her name, but I was pretty sure it started with a D. Or maybe it was a B? Shit. I needed to get better about remembering the names of the staff.
I raised my hand to give her a quick wave, which made her stumble for a step.
Whoops. Maybe I should’ve nodded like Lorne, but that felt weird.
Lorne raised a brow, which told me he’d noticed the exchange and he was laughing on the inside.
“Shut up,” I whispered to him.
His aquamarine eyes were glittering with laughter, and I poked his side. “Back to the bracelets.”
“Whatever you want.” He took the next right, and I recognized the hallway. Almost to our suite.
“The bracelets are really for anyone who is weak in power.”
“Which I am not.” So what was the deal? “I’m confused. I thought they’d save my power so that I could use it later, but also keep me from blowing everyone up.”
“Yes. Exactly.”
“But… that’s not a weak power kind of a thing.” I was so confused.
“They’re not just for someone with fighting abilities. They’re not a weapon. They were designed to help any Aunare get a little power boost.” He paused for a second to nod to someone who bowed to us.
Was I supposed to nod, too?
No. That was totally for him. I didn’t need to.
Did I?
Shit. I was going to have to ask Lorne about that later.
“For instance,” he started again, as if the whole bow-nod thing and my awkwardness to acknowledge it never happened, “say you’re a cook who’s not as good as Nori, but wants to be better. They might activate their fao’ana when they’re just sitting around wearing those.” He tapped the one inch piece of flexible metal wrapped around my wrist. “That power will get stored in the bracelet, and when it’s maxed out, the bracelet will start to glow. Like yours are now. Then, they take them off. When they’re cooking and need that extra bit to push them from good to great, they put them on. Suddenly they have that little extra to make them great. It’s temporary, but it’s a way people of lesser power can have a bit more.”
“But I have a lot of power.”
“Yes. So for you, we want you to have them empty when you’re about to lose control. It’ll take away some of the power, but if you truly lose it, you could fill up twenty bracelets and not make a dent.”
“So, they’re useless?” Because I wasn’t about to put on twenty sets of these bracelets. That wasn’t practical at all.
“No.” He gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Not at all. I wouldn’t have bought them for you if I thought they were useless. I think they’ll give you a little extra time to gain your balance whenever you’re out of control. Think of them as a warning. If they suddenly go from dull to glowing in one instant, it’s probably time to take a walk. It’s also a good idea to keep a few stored with your power. Because if you’re in a fight and start to strobe, then the bracelets could save your life.”
“But I shouldn’t wear them when I train with you or my guards?”
“No. Because when you’re there, you’re safe. And you need to learn how to regulate your power without the bracelets. In that way, they could become a crutch.”
Okay. That makes sense. “Got it.”
“Since these are charged, we’ll save these for a fight. The other ones we bought, you can either carry them with you or give them to Eshrin, and put them on when you’re about to lose it. Either way, when it’s time for the next High Council meeting, having them handy might not be a bad idea.”
“Right.” The next High Council meeting. That killed my mood instantly.
I didn’t like thinking about going to another one, let alone remembering that it might be a daily event.
There were definitely some things that I liked about having this job. The biggest one was getting to marry Lorne. I wasn’t sure what the rest were exactly, but I knew something would show up and make ruling worth it.
Maybe.
Ashino stopped us before we entered the suite.
“Yes?” Lorne asked.
“You have company. I was alerted when we arrived.”
Company? I looked at my wrist unit. I had to be up early if I was going to get in a decent workout before all the meetings Roan had on my schedule. “Who?” I asked.
“Your father.”
I glanced at Lorne. “This is probably going to be bad news. Right?”
Lorne shrugged. “Maybe not, but it doesn’t seem good.” He pressed his hand to the security panel, and the door to the suite whooshed open.
I didn’t know my father well enough to be able to read his moods, but he was sitting on the couch watching the vid screen. I glanced over at it and saw nine different stations playing, which was how Lorne and I usually watched it. Only one station had sound, but it was Aunare and I didn’t understand anything other than their tone. A picture of me was next to Captain ni Eneko’s on some of the stations, and I was suddenly confused.
Were they trying to say that I’d had a romantic relationship with him? That was absurd, but I wouldn’t put it past them to spread a lie like that.
I glanced at Lorne, but his expression was suddenly blank. His king mask was firmly in place.
Okay. That wasn’t great. “What’s happened now?”
“The press has somehow found out that you’ll be training a team with Captain ni Eneko to take down SpaceTech spies, and they’re mad,” Lorne said.
What? “How could they be mad about me protecting them? That’s insane. Isn’t that my job?”
“Yes,” Lorne said.
My father shot him a look. “No.”
I wanted to laugh or scream or something, but none of that would help. Instead, I placed my hands on my hips and waited for more of an explanation.
When nothing came after a minute, I stood in front of the screen. “Well? Who’s right?”
“We both are.” My father paused all the channels with one Aunare command. “They’re saying that it’s not the job of the High Queen, but that’s not exactly right. For the last three generations, the High Queen has been a consort to the High King. So, queen in name only. He rules. They’ve been a figurehead. The Aunare are unhappy with the queen taking risks with her life, but that’s not you or what your queenship will look like. You and Lorne are like the kings and queens of old—sharing every responsibility because, unlike the last three High Queens, that’s what you’re fao’ana show. It seems as if they’ve forgotten our past, our history, and how much it benefits them to have a true High Queen. ”
Oh, that was truly insane. “So, I’m not fit to rule. Not fit to marry him. But they don’t want me fighting. And all of this before I’ve even done anything with Captain ni Eneko.” Something was seriously off with that reasoning. “No. This is bull. Someone is scared. They don’t want to be found.”
My father nodded. “Yes. That’s exactly right, but it almost doesn’t matter because now everyone is in agreement about you becoming High Queen as a consort only. The talk of you is consuming the news and—”
“And it’s a good thing that none of this matters,” Lorne moved across the room to sit on the couch. He plopped his feet on the ottoman, relaxed back, and it would’ve seemed like he didn’t care, except his skin was suddenly glowing bright.
Damn it.
A big part of me didn’t care what any of the reporters were saying, but there was this other side that worried.
I wasn’t sure what kind of ruler I wanted to be or how I would contribute—other than by fighting—but if they didn’t even want that, if they didn’t want me working with Captain ni Eneko to help protect them, then what was left?
I wasn’t sure I wanted the job where I just sat next to Lorne and went along with whatever he said. That wasn’t me. I couldn’t do that.
“The High Council is calling a meeting with you—without Amihanna there—to discuss what she can and cannot do.”
For a moment, it was like all the air in the room was sucked into deep space. I couldn’t breathe. There was nothing to breathe because if they did that, then I’d have no freedom. No freedom to fight, to protect, to rule. No freedom to be me.
No. This couldn’t happen.
I forced myself to find some air. It wasn’t done yet. I could still stop this from happening, and maybe it wasn’t even something to worry about.
But the way Lorne’s skin brightened a little more told me either it was true or else it really pissed him off.
I tapped Lorne’s feet, and he moved them from the ottoman so that I could sit on it across from him. “They can’t tell me what to do. Can they?” I stared into Lorne’s eyes, hoping for something from him that would make this okay, but I didn’t see anything good. “I’m not great at following rules. Especially ones I don’t believe in.”
