In Command, page 10
“Okay?” He asked after a moment.
I nodded slowly as I looked around the market. People were still watching us and we still had guards around us, but suddenly none of that mattered. It was just me and Lorne and most importantly, whatever was in the basket.
I stuck a finger along one edge, tipping the basket my way to peek inside. There were diced cubes of what I thought had to be meat, but I couldn’t assume that it was. Not on Sel’Ani. Not so far away from anything that I knew.
The maybe-meat was served over a bed of little golden bits of something that looked fried and crunchy. There was a tiny bowl of something yellow with blue flecks in it that had to be a sauce for dipping, but again—assuming anything could be a minefield of mistakes. Whatever this was could be savory or sweet or completely disgusting.
“Okay. I have no idea what it is. Explain.” I pointed a finger at him. “And no tricks. I’m way too hungry for worms or any other shenanigans.”
“Worms?”
“Nic’natarani.”
“What?” he said with a startled laugh. “Who gave you that?”
“Someone in the kitchens.” I stared suspiciously at the baskets. “And my father let me eat it.”
Lorne laugh started off small. “I can’t believe you ate it.”
“Well, to be fair, I didn’t technically eat it. I spit it out.” I leaned across the table to whisper at him. “The worm was still wiggling.”
Lorne’s laughter got bigger, louder, and now people were staring.
“Okay. It’s not that funny.”
“No. No, it really is that funny. Nic’natarani is revolting.” He stuck out his tongue just a little. “I can’t believe Rysden didn’t stop you. I can’t believe I missed it.”
I gave him a look that told him he was asking for trouble.
He held up his hands. “No tricks. Not when you’re so hungry that I can hear your stomach.” He stared into the basket. “I guess the most similar I had on Earth was a beef kabob. Sort of. This meat is different—fattier and more tender. It’s a small animal called yhano that lives along the beaches, but it’s not seafood. It’s seafood adjacent. There isn’t a thing like it on Earth, so you’re just going to have to trust me that it is delicious.” He picked up one of the crispy golden pieces. “And these fried bits are a veggie called kiom that you’ll like. It’s like micro squash that’s tossed in some bread bits and fried. It’s good. Crispy on the outside, soft and mushy on the inside.” He dropped the kiom back inside the basket and pushed it toward me. “Try it.”
I wanted to, but I was a little nervous. I could feel everyone watching me, but I knew that no one could really get a good view of me around the guards. If I hated it, hopefully no one would notice, but I didn’t want to offend.
Screw it. It smelled good.
I held my hand out, and Lorne passed me a fork. I stabbed one tiny cube of meat. As soon as it hit my tongue, I closed my eyes and moaned. It was spicy and tangy and the meat was so tender that it nearly melted in my mouth. I was hungrier than I’d thought and this was really hitting the spot.
When I opened my eyes, Lorne was grinning at me. “Dip the next bite in this.” He tapped the cup of sauce. “It’s a creamy, tangy dip. No tricks, even if it would look awful to an Earther.”
“If it’s gross, I know where you sleep. I can—”
“I never knew a little sauce could turn you into a coward.”
I narrowed my gaze at him. “I never knew you were a jerk.”
Lorne leaned back as he laughed deep and loud. The sound warmed my soul, and I stabbed another bit of the meat and dipped it.
I took another bite.
The creamy dip cooled some of the heat that was burning my mouth. It was so good, I couldn’t help but want more. I slid the basket closer to me. “This is mine. Where’s yours?”
Lorne just grinned at me. “More is coming. He rushed out a basket for you, but I ordered a lot.” He tapped the basket. “You eat up.”
Someone spoke behind Eshrin and he turned, talking to a woman, who handed him some drinks. He set them on the table between us, and that seemed to set off some agreement that we were open for food.
For a while, Lorne and I just ate. Not talking about anything of substance, except about what was in the plates and containers and baskets. Chefs from all the stalls kept bringing food, and we kept eating. Until I wasn’t sure where I would put any more.
And then I sat there with my elbows on the table, leaning toward Lorne and thankful to be here, at this market, having a date. It almost felt like everything could be normal for a second.
I could have a million easy nights like this with him, and it wouldn’t be enough.
It could never be enough.
And so I would talk to him now and make tonight count in every way that I could. Because I knew that everything always changed.
Everything would change when all I wanted was to hang on to this and stay here, but wishing for that was like trying to hold a shooting star in my hands.
Impossible.
But boy, did I want the impossible with him. I wanted it more than I wanted air.
Chapter Ten
LORNE
The busy Ra’mi market faded from my awareness, and I was grateful that I was sitting across the table from Amihanna, watching her relax. More and more vendors brought their offerings to us, and it was rude to turn them down. Which meant we’d both eaten too much food. Still, it was nice to make Amihanna try new things.
A few chefs brought things to us I knew she wouldn’t like—Aunare delicacies that I didn’t even like—and I let her try them just to keep her on her toes. Although nothing as bad as nic’natarani. It was a game we used to play. One that clearly Rysden remembered, with good reason. We’d embarrassed him more than a few times at important dinners, but to be fair, important usually meant boring. If no one entertained us, Amihanna and I often found ways to entertain ourselves, which tended to end with us in trouble.
But playing the game today meant I had to try to eat some of the ones I didn’t care for when normally I’d just move the food around in the basket a little to make it look like I’d eaten enough not to insult the chef. Teasing her was too much fun, especially today when she was trying to pretend that she liked everything she tried. But it was so plain to see what she didn’t enjoy.
Somewhere along the way, Amihanna’s shoulders had lost their stiffness, she smiled more, and leaned toward me as she spoke. Having a normal night together filled my heart with the peace and contentment that I had been missing for thirteen years. And even though we were playing the same game as we used to and having fun, it wasn’t even the same as when we were younger.
Tonight was infinitely better.
Even as I was feeling that peace of being with her, I knew it was temporary. It was like paper-thin crystal. One hard breath and it would shatter.
The people needed to accept Amihanna. I knew she wanted to try to make that happen, but I wasn’t sure it was possible. I needed her to be ready to argue with the allies, but she wasn’t. She was still getting used to everything here, and I knew she needed time. For everything.
I knew Fynea, Lorne’s good friend and head assistant, and Roan were busy trying to arrange the interview with Himani, but it was taking too long. That’s why we were here. I always wanted time with her, but I also wanted to get her out there in front of the people. I wanted them to love Amihanna as much as I did, and even as I thought that, an image on the vid screen across the way caught my eye.
They’d moved on from the report about SpaceTech to Amihanna. Her face on the screen was what caught my attention. I was too far from the screen to hear what they were saying, but I could read the flowing gold script.
Goddess take it. I freed the media. I let them be honest, and I thought that meant that they’d report about her truthfully.
But now they were saying she was too busy having fun with me to rule. That she’d failed in her first High Council meeting, and that now she was out with me at the market instead of figuring out how to fix her mistakes.
They had no idea what they were speaking about. No idea. Had they forgotten that the High Council actually held no power? If she never showed her face to them again, it wouldn’t matter. But she had to because she could hone her skills to rule with them. She could make mistakes with them. Mistakes she couldn’t afford with our allies.
“What are you thinking?” Amihanna’s question snapped me back into the present.
“Hmm?”
Amihanna waved a fork in my direction. “I can feel you getting angrier and more worried by the second. If you don’t cut it out, you’re going to be glowing brighter than the floor in this place in about ten and three-quarter seconds.”
I couldn’t tell her the truth—that the news was lying about her again. I wasn’t ruining this evening by talking about the things we were both already worried about. I wanted a break from all of that, and I knew she wanted one, too. So, I brushed the fear and anger and worry away until I was sure she couldn’t sense it anymore. And then I shoved it a little farther.
She took another bite and chewed slowly. “Avoidance,” she said finally. “I like that. Not healthy, and I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t let me get away with it, but I get it. I’ll allow it.”
She’d allow it? I wanted to laugh, but then she might try to get me to change my mind. I wasn’t going to budge on this. Not tonight. Tonight, we were getting that break.
I leaned forward, resting my forearms on the table. “So, what do you think?”
“Of?”
I straightened. “This.” I motioned around us.
She tilted back a little so that she could see the floor and the lower levels of the market through the light. “I think that it’s a very good thing Roan isn’t here tonight. He would absolutely hate this market.”
“Really?” The market was amazing. I honestly couldn’t think of any reason why he’d hate it, and I thought I knew Roan pretty well. Food, drinks, plenty of women to flirt with. What more could he want? “Why exactly would he hate it?” I wasn’t insulted. Just curious.
She sat straight again. “To be fair, most humans would hate this place. A lot of them have this thing with heights.” She took a sip of water.
Oh. Right. I’d forgotten. Declan—the man I called my Earther brother—used to be afraid, but we’d grown up together since our tenth year. Due to a ridiculous treaty our fathers made, we split our time on Earth for six-months, followed by six-months on Sel’Ani. Declan had been keeping up with me for so long that he’d pretty much conquered his fear of heights.
“Heights don’t bother you?” I asked her. Sometimes I wondered how many Aunare tendencies she’d lost with her memories.
She made a face like I’d said something absurd. “No. Otherwise, I probably wouldn’t be so obsessed with the climbing wall.”
Right. That made me feel better. I would’ve hated it if she’d been afraid this whole time. I felt like I would’ve known if she had been, but I needed to know for sure.
“But yeah, I don’t mind heights, and I seriously love this place. Although, it is kind of crazy how you can see all the way down to the ground.”
“There’s definitely nothing else quite like it, but I’m extremely biased. This is a market in my capital city.”
“Right.” Amihanna pushed the baskets down the table. “Well, I’m full. And if I sit here any longer, I’m going to barf. I can’t look at any more food, let alone eat it. So, what’s next?”
There was so much to show her that I wasn’t sure where to start. “This is the food level, clearly. The rest have some specialty foods but mostly for eating later. Pantry items and such. Other than that, there’s clothes, household items, and tech mixed together. This dining plaza is the only level that’s just one thing.”
“So we wander?”
“Unless there’s something you wanted in particular? I know it pretty well. I’m sure I can find you anything you’re looking for.”
She thought for a second. “No. I’m not really looking for anything. I mean, I have more right now than I’ve ever had before. What more could I possibly need?”
She hadn’t meant to cut me with that, but it stung all the same. I wanted to forget what she’d been through the last thirteen years, but I couldn’t. I’d never forget. And yet, it still snuck up on me sometimes.
What she had now was more than she’d ever had before? I knew she wouldn’t have said it if it weren’t true, but it was upsetting and unsettling and made my heart ache for her. She didn’t have anything besides clothes, a tablet, and her go-bags stashed around the estate. That wasn’t a lot of things. She could have so much more. She could have anything she wanted.
I wanted to press her for more information. I needed to know more.
What was it really like there on Earth?
How did she get through Liberation Week?
Where did she go? Where did she work? Did she go to school? What happened if she got sick? Where did she live before she was arrested? I knew it was an apartment in Albuquerque, but I didn’t know what it was like. Did she have enough clothes? Food? A bed to sleep in?
I wasn’t a complete idiot. I knew wherever she lived, it probably wasn’t nice, but it was hard for me to picture her life on Earth. I didn’t know much about those thirteen years other than it was hard. I knew bits and pieces from her nightmares—things she screamed in her sleep or explanations about what she’d been dreaming about—but it wasn’t enough to make out a whole picture.
I shoved all of those questions burning inside of me far, far away. I knew eventually I would cave and ask for more details, but not tonight. Not when it might upset her. Not when she might have nightmares or flashbacks because I’d been stupid enough to ask for more than she was ready to give.
Amihanna was in a good spot right now, and I wouldn’t let my thirst to know everything hurt her.
So, instead, I asked her something else. “Would you like to explore the other levels of the market?”
“Yeah. Actually, that sounds pretty nice,” she said, not noticing that I was still barely breathing through the searing, stabbing pain her words had left inside my soul.
I cleared my throat. “We can wander.” I walked around the table, and reached a hand out. She took it, and the burn started to ease a little.
But only because I vowed to myself that if she saw something she liked, we were buying it. No arguing allowed.
Amihanna stood still, glancing around the market nervously, and tried to pull her hand free.
“What is it? Do you see something?”
She was very good at spotting undercover SpaceTech operatives. She’d found some from footage of this market in particular, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel completely at ease here again.
I glanced around, trying to see what was worrying her, but I’d bet my life that aside from a few easily spotted foreigners, everyone here was Aunare.
“Don’t you need to pay all these people?”
Oh. Well, damn. That wasn’t what I was expecting. I gripped her hand tighter. “I love that you’re worried about them.”
“Well, the food cost them money to get, and then time to prepare it. The basket. The cup. The fork. It all cost them something, and—”
I grinned at her.
“What? This isn’t funny.” She tried to shove me, but it was a pitiful move. “I’m being serious right now.”
“I know.” And I loved that. I tried to get rid of my grin and failed. “I know you’re serious and that this is a serious topic. I don’t take money around Sel’Ani because everyone knows who I am. They know to send a payment request to Fynea—who tracks where I go—and she immediately sends payment, usually more than requested, unless they ask for the cost of goods to be taken from their taxes. In which case, we honor their request and a note is made on their accounts. That’s why everyone was rushing to bring us more and more food.”
“Oh.” She looked almost disappointed. “I thought they were doing it because you were their king.”
“Sure. That, too. But they’ll be reimbursed and then some. Does that take away any guilt you’re feeling now?”
She let out a breath. “Yes. It really does.” The tension that had come on so suddenly faded away, and she finally stepped away from the table. “Where to next?”
“One of the lower floors? We could work our way back up to the ship, and see if anything catches your eye along the way.”
“Sure.”
As we walked, the guards moved to keep us covered. I’d always felt safe in Ta’shena, and I wasn’t going to let one attack keep me from doing what I wanted in my own city. I usually wouldn’t have brought so many guards—usually just Ashino and one or two others—but now I was High King. More importantly, at least in my mind, Amihanna was with me.
I wasn’t risking her again. SpaceTech had gotten too close to taking her away from me again, and I wasn’t going to give them another chance.
There was no way I’d ever tell her that. There was no reason for me to intentionally make her that annoyed with me.
I know what she’d say. That she could defend herself and had done so for a long time without me. That we’d found so many hidden operatives and she would spot any others before I could. But that still left too much room for disaster.
I didn’t know if we’d found all of SpaceTech’s operatives on Sel’Ani. There was no way we could ever really know if we got them all. Not until it was too late. So, I assumed that there were a lot more just waiting for their shot to take her down. Because the reality was that there were very likely more in Ta’shena. Probably more here in this very market. Maybe even in this market watching us right now.
A tiny thread of fear started to weave its way through my soul and I cut it before Amihanna could sense anything. And still, I kept my eyes open, searching for the tells that Amihanna had taught me.
“Are you okay?” she asked again.
“Yes.”
She glanced at the vid screens quickly, and then went back to it and stared. “Oh. I bet they’re saying awful things about me. That’s why you’re upset?”
I nodded slowly as I looked around the market. People were still watching us and we still had guards around us, but suddenly none of that mattered. It was just me and Lorne and most importantly, whatever was in the basket.
I stuck a finger along one edge, tipping the basket my way to peek inside. There were diced cubes of what I thought had to be meat, but I couldn’t assume that it was. Not on Sel’Ani. Not so far away from anything that I knew.
The maybe-meat was served over a bed of little golden bits of something that looked fried and crunchy. There was a tiny bowl of something yellow with blue flecks in it that had to be a sauce for dipping, but again—assuming anything could be a minefield of mistakes. Whatever this was could be savory or sweet or completely disgusting.
“Okay. I have no idea what it is. Explain.” I pointed a finger at him. “And no tricks. I’m way too hungry for worms or any other shenanigans.”
“Worms?”
“Nic’natarani.”
“What?” he said with a startled laugh. “Who gave you that?”
“Someone in the kitchens.” I stared suspiciously at the baskets. “And my father let me eat it.”
Lorne laugh started off small. “I can’t believe you ate it.”
“Well, to be fair, I didn’t technically eat it. I spit it out.” I leaned across the table to whisper at him. “The worm was still wiggling.”
Lorne’s laughter got bigger, louder, and now people were staring.
“Okay. It’s not that funny.”
“No. No, it really is that funny. Nic’natarani is revolting.” He stuck out his tongue just a little. “I can’t believe Rysden didn’t stop you. I can’t believe I missed it.”
I gave him a look that told him he was asking for trouble.
He held up his hands. “No tricks. Not when you’re so hungry that I can hear your stomach.” He stared into the basket. “I guess the most similar I had on Earth was a beef kabob. Sort of. This meat is different—fattier and more tender. It’s a small animal called yhano that lives along the beaches, but it’s not seafood. It’s seafood adjacent. There isn’t a thing like it on Earth, so you’re just going to have to trust me that it is delicious.” He picked up one of the crispy golden pieces. “And these fried bits are a veggie called kiom that you’ll like. It’s like micro squash that’s tossed in some bread bits and fried. It’s good. Crispy on the outside, soft and mushy on the inside.” He dropped the kiom back inside the basket and pushed it toward me. “Try it.”
I wanted to, but I was a little nervous. I could feel everyone watching me, but I knew that no one could really get a good view of me around the guards. If I hated it, hopefully no one would notice, but I didn’t want to offend.
Screw it. It smelled good.
I held my hand out, and Lorne passed me a fork. I stabbed one tiny cube of meat. As soon as it hit my tongue, I closed my eyes and moaned. It was spicy and tangy and the meat was so tender that it nearly melted in my mouth. I was hungrier than I’d thought and this was really hitting the spot.
When I opened my eyes, Lorne was grinning at me. “Dip the next bite in this.” He tapped the cup of sauce. “It’s a creamy, tangy dip. No tricks, even if it would look awful to an Earther.”
“If it’s gross, I know where you sleep. I can—”
“I never knew a little sauce could turn you into a coward.”
I narrowed my gaze at him. “I never knew you were a jerk.”
Lorne leaned back as he laughed deep and loud. The sound warmed my soul, and I stabbed another bit of the meat and dipped it.
I took another bite.
The creamy dip cooled some of the heat that was burning my mouth. It was so good, I couldn’t help but want more. I slid the basket closer to me. “This is mine. Where’s yours?”
Lorne just grinned at me. “More is coming. He rushed out a basket for you, but I ordered a lot.” He tapped the basket. “You eat up.”
Someone spoke behind Eshrin and he turned, talking to a woman, who handed him some drinks. He set them on the table between us, and that seemed to set off some agreement that we were open for food.
For a while, Lorne and I just ate. Not talking about anything of substance, except about what was in the plates and containers and baskets. Chefs from all the stalls kept bringing food, and we kept eating. Until I wasn’t sure where I would put any more.
And then I sat there with my elbows on the table, leaning toward Lorne and thankful to be here, at this market, having a date. It almost felt like everything could be normal for a second.
I could have a million easy nights like this with him, and it wouldn’t be enough.
It could never be enough.
And so I would talk to him now and make tonight count in every way that I could. Because I knew that everything always changed.
Everything would change when all I wanted was to hang on to this and stay here, but wishing for that was like trying to hold a shooting star in my hands.
Impossible.
But boy, did I want the impossible with him. I wanted it more than I wanted air.
Chapter Ten
LORNE
The busy Ra’mi market faded from my awareness, and I was grateful that I was sitting across the table from Amihanna, watching her relax. More and more vendors brought their offerings to us, and it was rude to turn them down. Which meant we’d both eaten too much food. Still, it was nice to make Amihanna try new things.
A few chefs brought things to us I knew she wouldn’t like—Aunare delicacies that I didn’t even like—and I let her try them just to keep her on her toes. Although nothing as bad as nic’natarani. It was a game we used to play. One that clearly Rysden remembered, with good reason. We’d embarrassed him more than a few times at important dinners, but to be fair, important usually meant boring. If no one entertained us, Amihanna and I often found ways to entertain ourselves, which tended to end with us in trouble.
But playing the game today meant I had to try to eat some of the ones I didn’t care for when normally I’d just move the food around in the basket a little to make it look like I’d eaten enough not to insult the chef. Teasing her was too much fun, especially today when she was trying to pretend that she liked everything she tried. But it was so plain to see what she didn’t enjoy.
Somewhere along the way, Amihanna’s shoulders had lost their stiffness, she smiled more, and leaned toward me as she spoke. Having a normal night together filled my heart with the peace and contentment that I had been missing for thirteen years. And even though we were playing the same game as we used to and having fun, it wasn’t even the same as when we were younger.
Tonight was infinitely better.
Even as I was feeling that peace of being with her, I knew it was temporary. It was like paper-thin crystal. One hard breath and it would shatter.
The people needed to accept Amihanna. I knew she wanted to try to make that happen, but I wasn’t sure it was possible. I needed her to be ready to argue with the allies, but she wasn’t. She was still getting used to everything here, and I knew she needed time. For everything.
I knew Fynea, Lorne’s good friend and head assistant, and Roan were busy trying to arrange the interview with Himani, but it was taking too long. That’s why we were here. I always wanted time with her, but I also wanted to get her out there in front of the people. I wanted them to love Amihanna as much as I did, and even as I thought that, an image on the vid screen across the way caught my eye.
They’d moved on from the report about SpaceTech to Amihanna. Her face on the screen was what caught my attention. I was too far from the screen to hear what they were saying, but I could read the flowing gold script.
Goddess take it. I freed the media. I let them be honest, and I thought that meant that they’d report about her truthfully.
But now they were saying she was too busy having fun with me to rule. That she’d failed in her first High Council meeting, and that now she was out with me at the market instead of figuring out how to fix her mistakes.
They had no idea what they were speaking about. No idea. Had they forgotten that the High Council actually held no power? If she never showed her face to them again, it wouldn’t matter. But she had to because she could hone her skills to rule with them. She could make mistakes with them. Mistakes she couldn’t afford with our allies.
“What are you thinking?” Amihanna’s question snapped me back into the present.
“Hmm?”
Amihanna waved a fork in my direction. “I can feel you getting angrier and more worried by the second. If you don’t cut it out, you’re going to be glowing brighter than the floor in this place in about ten and three-quarter seconds.”
I couldn’t tell her the truth—that the news was lying about her again. I wasn’t ruining this evening by talking about the things we were both already worried about. I wanted a break from all of that, and I knew she wanted one, too. So, I brushed the fear and anger and worry away until I was sure she couldn’t sense it anymore. And then I shoved it a little farther.
She took another bite and chewed slowly. “Avoidance,” she said finally. “I like that. Not healthy, and I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t let me get away with it, but I get it. I’ll allow it.”
She’d allow it? I wanted to laugh, but then she might try to get me to change my mind. I wasn’t going to budge on this. Not tonight. Tonight, we were getting that break.
I leaned forward, resting my forearms on the table. “So, what do you think?”
“Of?”
I straightened. “This.” I motioned around us.
She tilted back a little so that she could see the floor and the lower levels of the market through the light. “I think that it’s a very good thing Roan isn’t here tonight. He would absolutely hate this market.”
“Really?” The market was amazing. I honestly couldn’t think of any reason why he’d hate it, and I thought I knew Roan pretty well. Food, drinks, plenty of women to flirt with. What more could he want? “Why exactly would he hate it?” I wasn’t insulted. Just curious.
She sat straight again. “To be fair, most humans would hate this place. A lot of them have this thing with heights.” She took a sip of water.
Oh. Right. I’d forgotten. Declan—the man I called my Earther brother—used to be afraid, but we’d grown up together since our tenth year. Due to a ridiculous treaty our fathers made, we split our time on Earth for six-months, followed by six-months on Sel’Ani. Declan had been keeping up with me for so long that he’d pretty much conquered his fear of heights.
“Heights don’t bother you?” I asked her. Sometimes I wondered how many Aunare tendencies she’d lost with her memories.
She made a face like I’d said something absurd. “No. Otherwise, I probably wouldn’t be so obsessed with the climbing wall.”
Right. That made me feel better. I would’ve hated it if she’d been afraid this whole time. I felt like I would’ve known if she had been, but I needed to know for sure.
“But yeah, I don’t mind heights, and I seriously love this place. Although, it is kind of crazy how you can see all the way down to the ground.”
“There’s definitely nothing else quite like it, but I’m extremely biased. This is a market in my capital city.”
“Right.” Amihanna pushed the baskets down the table. “Well, I’m full. And if I sit here any longer, I’m going to barf. I can’t look at any more food, let alone eat it. So, what’s next?”
There was so much to show her that I wasn’t sure where to start. “This is the food level, clearly. The rest have some specialty foods but mostly for eating later. Pantry items and such. Other than that, there’s clothes, household items, and tech mixed together. This dining plaza is the only level that’s just one thing.”
“So we wander?”
“Unless there’s something you wanted in particular? I know it pretty well. I’m sure I can find you anything you’re looking for.”
She thought for a second. “No. I’m not really looking for anything. I mean, I have more right now than I’ve ever had before. What more could I possibly need?”
She hadn’t meant to cut me with that, but it stung all the same. I wanted to forget what she’d been through the last thirteen years, but I couldn’t. I’d never forget. And yet, it still snuck up on me sometimes.
What she had now was more than she’d ever had before? I knew she wouldn’t have said it if it weren’t true, but it was upsetting and unsettling and made my heart ache for her. She didn’t have anything besides clothes, a tablet, and her go-bags stashed around the estate. That wasn’t a lot of things. She could have so much more. She could have anything she wanted.
I wanted to press her for more information. I needed to know more.
What was it really like there on Earth?
How did she get through Liberation Week?
Where did she go? Where did she work? Did she go to school? What happened if she got sick? Where did she live before she was arrested? I knew it was an apartment in Albuquerque, but I didn’t know what it was like. Did she have enough clothes? Food? A bed to sleep in?
I wasn’t a complete idiot. I knew wherever she lived, it probably wasn’t nice, but it was hard for me to picture her life on Earth. I didn’t know much about those thirteen years other than it was hard. I knew bits and pieces from her nightmares—things she screamed in her sleep or explanations about what she’d been dreaming about—but it wasn’t enough to make out a whole picture.
I shoved all of those questions burning inside of me far, far away. I knew eventually I would cave and ask for more details, but not tonight. Not when it might upset her. Not when she might have nightmares or flashbacks because I’d been stupid enough to ask for more than she was ready to give.
Amihanna was in a good spot right now, and I wouldn’t let my thirst to know everything hurt her.
So, instead, I asked her something else. “Would you like to explore the other levels of the market?”
“Yeah. Actually, that sounds pretty nice,” she said, not noticing that I was still barely breathing through the searing, stabbing pain her words had left inside my soul.
I cleared my throat. “We can wander.” I walked around the table, and reached a hand out. She took it, and the burn started to ease a little.
But only because I vowed to myself that if she saw something she liked, we were buying it. No arguing allowed.
Amihanna stood still, glancing around the market nervously, and tried to pull her hand free.
“What is it? Do you see something?”
She was very good at spotting undercover SpaceTech operatives. She’d found some from footage of this market in particular, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel completely at ease here again.
I glanced around, trying to see what was worrying her, but I’d bet my life that aside from a few easily spotted foreigners, everyone here was Aunare.
“Don’t you need to pay all these people?”
Oh. Well, damn. That wasn’t what I was expecting. I gripped her hand tighter. “I love that you’re worried about them.”
“Well, the food cost them money to get, and then time to prepare it. The basket. The cup. The fork. It all cost them something, and—”
I grinned at her.
“What? This isn’t funny.” She tried to shove me, but it was a pitiful move. “I’m being serious right now.”
“I know.” And I loved that. I tried to get rid of my grin and failed. “I know you’re serious and that this is a serious topic. I don’t take money around Sel’Ani because everyone knows who I am. They know to send a payment request to Fynea—who tracks where I go—and she immediately sends payment, usually more than requested, unless they ask for the cost of goods to be taken from their taxes. In which case, we honor their request and a note is made on their accounts. That’s why everyone was rushing to bring us more and more food.”
“Oh.” She looked almost disappointed. “I thought they were doing it because you were their king.”
“Sure. That, too. But they’ll be reimbursed and then some. Does that take away any guilt you’re feeling now?”
She let out a breath. “Yes. It really does.” The tension that had come on so suddenly faded away, and she finally stepped away from the table. “Where to next?”
“One of the lower floors? We could work our way back up to the ship, and see if anything catches your eye along the way.”
“Sure.”
As we walked, the guards moved to keep us covered. I’d always felt safe in Ta’shena, and I wasn’t going to let one attack keep me from doing what I wanted in my own city. I usually wouldn’t have brought so many guards—usually just Ashino and one or two others—but now I was High King. More importantly, at least in my mind, Amihanna was with me.
I wasn’t risking her again. SpaceTech had gotten too close to taking her away from me again, and I wasn’t going to give them another chance.
There was no way I’d ever tell her that. There was no reason for me to intentionally make her that annoyed with me.
I know what she’d say. That she could defend herself and had done so for a long time without me. That we’d found so many hidden operatives and she would spot any others before I could. But that still left too much room for disaster.
I didn’t know if we’d found all of SpaceTech’s operatives on Sel’Ani. There was no way we could ever really know if we got them all. Not until it was too late. So, I assumed that there were a lot more just waiting for their shot to take her down. Because the reality was that there were very likely more in Ta’shena. Probably more here in this very market. Maybe even in this market watching us right now.
A tiny thread of fear started to weave its way through my soul and I cut it before Amihanna could sense anything. And still, I kept my eyes open, searching for the tells that Amihanna had taught me.
“Are you okay?” she asked again.
“Yes.”
She glanced at the vid screens quickly, and then went back to it and stared. “Oh. I bet they’re saying awful things about me. That’s why you’re upset?”
