#MeantToBe, page 15
Not my dad, who lived thousands of miles away, making his own life. Not my older sister, who’d chosen to leave ours for a new one.
We had each other, and that was all that mattered.
Even though my break-up with Ethan still hurt, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt…
Not happy.
But this feeling like I knew everything would be okay.
I’d be okay.
And getting a peek at Adam while he was completely unaware?
Well, that was just the universe being kind to me.
I loved the way Adam bit the inside of his bottom lip sometimes when he studied. It meant he was concentrating. He took his classes seriously, and that was something to be admired.
The memory of us sitting together at the tutoring center resurfaced. How the way he explained math actually made sense. How he made fun of my “violent erasing.”
The sound of his voice when he pointed out how I’d dropped negative signs, and that was why kept getting the wrong answer.
I wanted so badly to say hi to him. Just walk over, say hello, and ask how he’d been.
But my smile faltered at the thought.
Why would he ever want to speak to me again?
He had to hate me.
I knew I would.
I swallowed and looked down at the keyboard in front of me, my fingers resting on the letters.
My eyes went to him one more time, this time his messy blonde hair, his straight nose, his strong hands.
His perfect mouth.
I couldn’t.
I’d forgotten what it was like to be close to him. And I couldn’t believe the feelings that he continued to stir up inside me.
But it was too soon.
As much as I wanted to, I knew it wouldn’t be fair to him to try to be his friend again.
Remembering the look on his face the last time we talked, I finished typing out my essay, grabbed my stuff, and I left without looking at him again.
Ethan and I going our separate ways had been the best thing that had happened to me, and I couldn’t risk messing up again.
Not when that wound still stung so raw.
Twenty-Five
6 months later
My phone dinged with a text message.
Austin: Hey, man, up for some volleyball for old time’s sake?
Wow, I hadn’t heard from him in ages.
Nate, Austin, Terry, and I had hung out a few times after winter break, but that had been it.
They were cool and all, but I’d stayed busy with tutoring and classes, and pretty soon, they’d stopped messaging.
Spring semester had just ended, though, which meant the beginning of summer.
A ton of people were already packing up their stuff and heading home or taking monster naps in preparation for partying long and hard tonight.
Meanwhile, Sara had officially left on vacation with her family. She’d hugged me goodbye this morning after her finals were over.
Tommy was leaving for home tonight too.
As for me, I’d hang out on campus all summer, with the exception of driving home every so often. My mom was spending more time than ever with her boyfriend, though, which was fine with me. He seemed nice, and more importantly, she seemed happy.
I needed to see Dad and my little brother, Wes, too. Every time I asked him if he was still crushing on the cute girl next door, he socked me in the shoulder. But I knew he was secretly crazy about her. Always had been.
Whenever I told him to make a move on her, he’d say no way. That was his best friend’s little sister. But I had a feeling he’d work up the courage to go after her sooner or later.
Meanwhile, Dad talked about getting back onto the playing field himself. He’d even asked me when I’d be bringing home a girl for them to meet.
I’d scoffed at that.
My summer would consist of extra tutoring shifts and a part-time job to save up for next semester’s expenses.
Not without some serious mindless TV first, though. I was already a couple of hours into a Netflix super binge session. But my back already ached from sitting on the futon, and my stomach growled.
I hadn’t planned on leaving my dorm this soon.
Bummer.
So I texted Austin back.
Adam: Time? Dinner after?
He texted back right away.
Austin: Now. Same place. Duh ;)
Adam: See ya there.
I dragged myself off the futon.
It felt good to stretch my muscles, even if I fought off a long yawn.
Instead of giving in to the temptation of a nap, I changed and locked the door behind me.
As soon as I walked outside, I felt like a vampire about to disintegrate in the light. I’d been inside where it was dark and cool since that morning, and now the heat radiated off the black pavement.
The sun wouldn’t be setting for a few more hours, which meant we’d have plenty of time to play a few games.
Within ten minutes, I had arrived at the volleyball court. I jogged towards Nate and Austin as soon as I saw them. It looked like they’d called at least a dozen reinforcements, including—
Our old volleyball team.
I froze when I saw Shelley and Terry. Before I could even ask myself if she was there, I spotted her.
Brooklyn.
Neither she or Shelley had seen me yet. Both of them laughed and talked with Terry.
Brooklyn picked up a volleyball, threw it into the air, and overhand served it across to the other side.
It hit Austin on the butt, and everyone choked with laughter. Maddie, from last semester’s study group, was there too, giggling.
Terry nodded, laughing, and handed Brooklyn a five-dollar bill.
As I got closer, he left, and Shelley and Brooklyn sat down on the grass next to the sand. They continued chatting, but they were too far away for their voices to carry.
“Hey, man,” Nate said, walking over to me. He glanced over at Brooklyn and Shelley before turning back at me. “I was hoping there might be some kind of reconciliation between you two,” he said with a wink.
“She has a boyfriend, remember?” I focused on the volleyball net and a couple of people who were tossing the ball back and forth. “Anyway, I’ve moved on.”
“Oh, that’s too bad,” he said, a wicked smile forming on his face. “I heard they broke up ages ago.”
I turned back to Brooklyn. But I didn’t say anything.
They’d really broken up?
Austin began getting teams together, though, and Nate didn’t say anything else before patting my back and leaving.
Brooklyn ended up on the opposite team along with Austin and some other people I didn’t really know.
Nate, Shelley, Terry, Maddie, and some guy I didn’t know were on my side.
Meanwhile, Brooklyn went up to serve first. She scanned my entire team. That’s when her gaze finally landed on me.
She’d told me once that she did that on purpose to see who looked nervous and then she could meet their eyes before aiming right at them.
Her eyes locked with mine, and she lowered the ball for a second.
I looked away, and so did she.
Then she raised the ball again, threw it up into the air, and hit it hard.
It was dark but still warm out.
Warm enough that I hadn’t put my shirt back on since ten minutes into our first game.
Nate, Austin, and the rest of the guys had taken off theirs, and I’d followed suit, not caring that I didn’t have well-defined six packs like them.
But I had started going to the gym recently.
When one girl’s eyes slid down my chest and across to my toned arms, I knew those endless reps had been worth it, and not just for taking the edge off.
Austin looked me up and down in approval. “You been working out, man?” Austin asked, clearly impressed.
“Maybe,” I replied coolly. I glanced towards Brooklyn, but she faced the opposite direction. Shelley grinned at her, and I wondered what they were talking about.
“Don’t worry,” Austin whispered, looking at her too. “She was so checking you out like half a second ago. I say ask her out, man. We can all tell you two are crazy about each other. Everyone except you two, anyway,” he finished with a laugh.
I shook my head, but glanced at Brooklyn again.
She seemed different today too.
Instead of being serious as usual, she smiled a lot, more than I remembered, and even something about her smile was different.
When she laughed at something Shelley said, I realized what it was.
Her smile reached all the way to her eyes.
She was happy.
That made me happier than I ever could’ve known. I only ever wanted her to be happy, even if it wasn’t with me.
“So we going out to eat or what?” Nate asked us. “Let’s get the whole team together and go grab some burgers or something.”
I nodded. “I could go for a couple of burgers and a milkshake,” I replied.
Austin yelled over to Shelley, Brooklyn, and Terry. “We’re gonna go grab some burgers. Y’all coming or what?”
They answered by standing up and brushing the grass off their clothes. Then we piled into Nate and Austin’s cars and headed downtown.
All too soon, we’d all had our share of burgers, fries, and milkshakes.
Shelley stood up. “Sorry, guys. I need to head home. I have a long drive ahead of me in the morning.” She turned to Nate. “But thank you so much for inviting me to play today. It was the best.”
Nate stood up too. “Here, let me drive you.”
Shelley hugged Brooklyn and said, “I’ll see you later.” Then she waved goodbye to everyone.
After that, the rest of us stood up to leave too.
Austin drove us back to campus. It was quiet in his car.
I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d see Brooklyn around campus again, but we still hadn’t talked all day. Things were still really awkward between us, and I wasn’t sure they’d ever go back to how they used to be.
Beside me, she swirled around her strawberry milkshake with the straw.
How was it possible that I hadn’t seen her in months yet I still felt the same way about her?
When she’d left that day after the championship game, I’d been completely crushed.
I’d poured my heart out to her. I was sure she felt the same exact way.
But then she’d walked away that day without looking back.
And I’d slowly accepted it and moved on.
Or so I thought.
I never quite forgot about her.
And to see her again… To see that she was the same and yet completely different…
I looked up at the stars and sighed. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I should have talked to Brooklyn tonight. And I’d missed my chance.
Just then, an idea took hold of me.
The question was: could I muster up the courage to do it?
Twenty-Six
“Why did you not talk to him?” Shelley screamed as soon as I walked back into our dorm.
I groaned and lay down on the futon.
No use pretending I didn’t know what she was talking about.
She dropped the clothes she was folding and came over, hands on her hips. “He would not stop looking at you, and I know you were doing the same thing the whole time.”
I shrugged. “You mean besides the fact that things are totally and utterly awkward between us now? And he probably hates me?” I crossed my arms. “Anyway, maybe I don’t want another long-term relationship right now.”
Shelley crossed her arms too. “No one is saying anything about long-term anything. But you two deserve to give each other a chance.”
After giving me a chastising hmph, she grabbed her stuff, and opened the door to leave. She turned back to me one more time. “You should have seen him, Brook, practically pining for you as he was leaving.”
I chewed my lip, full of self-doubt, and she left for good.
Ugh. Why did I have that nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach?
Early the next morning, Shelley rolled her carry-on bag to her car. Meanwhile, I could hardly unglue my eyelids.
“Aw, I wish you could have stayed a few more days,” I said as we hugged.
“I know,” she replied. “But I’ll be back before you know it so we can hit some parties before fall semester.” She exhaled. “I’ll miss you.”
“Me too.” I took her hands in mine.
“Take care, have fun, but not too much fun,” she teased.
I rolled my eyes.
“And promise me you’ll talk to Adam.”
“Um, in that order?” I joked.
“Seriously, though, if you happen to run into him, if he calls you, you better say yes,” she said.
Now she was talking crazy. “He’s probably going home, Shelley. Like half the students on campus. You know I’m heading home myself this weekend.”
She glanced away. “Well, plans change.”
Huh?
But she was already walking off and saying goodbye.
For someone who was usually so put together, Shelley seemed off today.
I closed the dorm room door behind her and grabbed my phone.
Nothing.
Mom was working overtime until this weekend, so the plan was to hang out here until then. There were a few girls on this hall who were fun, and I could eat at the dining hall with them instead of home alone.
I pulled up one of my favorite shows on my phone, hopped up into bed, and caught up on the latest episodes.
Halfway into the first episode, a text appeared on screen.
Shelley: Hey, I totally forgot that I need to return some books to my friend! Can you do me a HUGE favor and give them to him for me? I was supposed to meet him today.
Brooklyn: Sure :)
Shelley: Thanks! :) They’re on my desk.
I saw the pile of books she was talking about.
Shelley: Oh, and he’s going to be there in five minutes! He can meet you downstairs. Thx!
I shook my head but grinned. She was definitely off today.
Brooklyn: On my way.
I pulled on some jeans and threw my PJs in the hamper. Maybe I could go ahead and head to lunch before coming back to have a quiet evening.
I checked my hair in the mirror, wiping off a smudge of mascara near my eye. Then I grabbed the books and my phone and headed out the door.
When I got off the elevator, I didn’t see anyone obviously waiting for their books. I sat down on one of the couches and looked at them more closely. Whoever this was, he’d probably be there any minute.
The books were a couple of small novels. For literature class, by the look of them.
A few more minutes passed by and nothing. I looked around before I texted Shelley.
Brooklyn: Are you sure he’s meeting you? I don’t see anyone here.
Shelley: Don’t hate me but I lied.
Uh, what? I stood up now, looking around again to see if this is some kind of joke.
No one popped out at me, though.
Just another message.
Shelley: Read the note next to the green lamp.
I scanned the lobby and immediately spotted a green lamp.
My stomach turned with nerves. It was just a folded piece of paper, but I was way too nervous to pick it up.
Instead, I called Shelley, but she didn’t answer.
Shelley: Just read it!
Still wondering what this was about, I sat down on the well-worn couch and slowly picked up the note.
Part of me wanted to just run back upstairs, but something else told me to open it.
So I did.
I recognized the handwriting right away.
Adam wrote just like this, half in cursive and half in print.
I started reading.
Dear Brooklyn,
If I’ve learned anything after meeting you, it’s that I can’t live with regrets.
Have dinner with me tonight?
Hope to see you at 7 o’clock at the same place we watched the storm that day.
I immediately looked around to see if Adam was around here somewhere, watching me read this.
But there was no sign of him.
I texted Shelley back.
Brooklyn: You knew about this?
Shelley: You’re welcome ;) Wear something nice.
Shelley: P.S. Those books really do belong to a friend. Lol. She needs them tomorrow ;)
I smiled to myself like an idiot and headed back upstairs, books in tow, wondering what the heck I was going to wear.
Adam waited for me outside, standing in the exact spot where we’d first kissed.
His back was to me as he faced the direction of the setting sun. The building doors shut closed, and that’s when he turned around.
We took each other in, completely silent.
He had on a long-sleeved shirt and a nice pair of dark jeans. His dirty blonde hair was perfectly tousled.
Meanwhile, his eyes quickly traveled up my dress and to my eyes. My face warmed, but I didn’t look away.
“Hey,” he said.
My heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice. “Hey,” I said with a smile.
He took several steps toward me, closing the gap between us. His smile only made mine wider, and I realized how right it felt to be with him.
His fingers grazed my cheek, and somehow all the awkwardness that had been there yesterday faded.
“You hungry?” he asked.
I nodded, and he took my hand.
By the end of the night, I was still in a daze.
Dinner had been perfect. We’d talked, caught up, and shared a slice of cheesecake at the very end.
When I asked where we were going to next, Adam wouldn’t say. “You’ll see.”
He took his car back to the parking deck, but then we walked away from our dorms towards the center of campus.
It was warm and quiet out, the sound of chirping crickets in the air.
The sound of summer.
We found ourselves back at the campus park, where we’d played so many games of volleyball with our friends. And then gone our separate ways so many months ago.
