#MeantToBe, page 12
I got up, walked over to her, and put my arm around her. She immediately put her hand on my arm.
“I guess I wasn’t ready to leave,” she said, wiping at the tears. “I wasn’t ready to accept that our marriage was just not going to work out. I hadn’t gotten my prince charming and my happily ever after. Now look at me,” she said with a small sob. “Starting over at my age.”
“Don’t be silly,” I said. “You’re beautiful.”
She stood up and wrapped me in a hug. Her head on my shoulder, she sobbed and laughed at the same time.
I chuckled. Only girls and women could pull that off at the same time.
She pulled back. “I guess if I’ve learned anything since becoming single and getting out there again, it’s that a woman can find her prince charming at any age. But it’s better if you get it right the first marriage.”
Mom cupped my face with her hands and looked up at me. She pinched my cheek. “I don’t regret it one bit, though, because we got you and your brother out of it. I do wish I’d left your father sooner, though. I guess I just wasn’t as strong as I thought. I thought being strong meant staying with someone even if you were unhappy and learning to accept that. But now I know that being strong means having the courage to walk away.”
I hung onto her every word, every single one making me think of Brooklyn.
“Go easy on her, son. It took me twenty years to learn all of this,” she whispered.
Twenty
“Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked Ethan.
It was Thanksgiving Day, and we were just about to his parents’ house.
“I’m sure,” he said, pulling onto their street. He entered the driveway, put the car in park, and touched my cheek. “I need to do this.”
“Okay,” I replied, barely above a whisper.
The last week or two with Ethan had been kind of surreal. It felt like we were back in high school again.
We were spending a lot of time together again, talking and even laughing. I could tell he was still stressing out about working with his dad at the real estate firm, but ever since we had gotten back together, he had promised that he was done with his dad. He didn’t care about his money or what he had to say about him.
He going to leave the family business and venture out on his own.
And he didn’t have to say it, but I knew why.
For me. For us.
The stress from his dad and his work had been killing our relationship.
And once he’d told me all of that, I knew I had to give him another chance. Give us another chance. After almost three years of being together, I couldn’t say no.
Honestly, I wasn’t sure I’d made the right choice that evening outside of my dorm. He’d shown up out of nowhere, and I was getting ready to tell him to leave me alone once and for all.
But something had been different about Ethan that day.
And I listened to what he had to say.
I’d seen the old Ethan in there somewhere. And I’d realized a part of me, a pretty big part of me, still loved him and needed him.
I still felt like crap about Adam. About kissing him. Not to mention seeing him walk away.
I’d only gotten a glimpse of him, but it had been enough. Shelley had told me that he’d seen enough to understand what was going on. And he had been pretty hurt by it.
Ever since that day, I hadn’t tried to text him. I hadn’t gone back to the tutoring center either. That wouldn’t have been fair to him. I knew that it was best for the both of us to move on and for things to go back to the way they were.
Before we became friends and feelings got involved.
So things went back to the way they were.
I went back to struggling to pass calculus and spending most of my time with Ethan. I told the Millers that I wouldn’t be able to babysit five days a week anymore.
Not if I was going to be making my relationship with Ethan a priority. And I wanted to make him a priority.
I wanted us to be like before. I felt kind of bad not seeing Amanda and Carter anymore, but I told myself the decision would be for the best.
For Ethan and me, that was.
And that meant taking time to repair our relationship. Because there was a lot to fix, and it wasn’t going to be easy. But for now, I was happy that we were doing better than we had in a while.
At some point, I knew I’d have to tell him the truth about that kiss with Adam, as much as I hated to think what might happen then. But it was necessary.
Meanwhile, Ethan wasn’t completely his old self, not all the time. But I knew I couldn’t expect him to change overnight, especially with the situation around his parents.
Hand in hand, we walked up the front steps of the house and knocked on the door.
Mrs. Roberts opened the door, and the first thing she did was stare at me like she’d just seen a ghost.
Her gaze went to Ethan, and I could see that there was something that she really wanted to say but couldn’t.
I took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself for the evening ahead of us.
“Hi, mom,” Ethan said.
I greeted her too, but she immediately gave Ethan a hug. This was maybe the second time I had ever seen them embrace. She hardly put her arms around him before going back to hardly looking at me.
She led us into the family room. Most of Ethan's family waited for us, but you wouldn't be able to tell from the noise level that there were about fifteen or twenty people in the room. It didn’t even seem like Thanksgiving existed in this house.
For some reason, it made me think of my mom. She had to work tonight, which is why I’d decided to accept Ethan's invitation when he asked if I wanted to have dinner with him and his family.
Mom rarely got holidays off. She wouldn’t be off until late tonight so we wouldn’t be having our Thanksgiving meal with her until tomorrow.
I missed her. She was my family.
Meanwhile, Ethan’s family hardly seemed like one.
Then I figured out why.
No one laughed or looked truly happy. There are a few people smiling, but their smiles failed to reach their eyes.
Even the way people sat was just way too formal for a family event.
I immediately stood straighter and touched my hair to make sure it wasn’t out of place.
The problem wasn’t my hair, though.
I was the one out of place there.
Just about every person in the room turned to look at me as we walked in. Right away, they sized me up. It was pretty obvious I wasn’t one of them. Not in the same socioeconomic class. Not quite the same skin tone. Not remotely close to what they were.
I politely said hello to most of the people around the room, but I could see that Ethan was getting tense too.
When Mrs. Roberts announced it was time for dinner, I almost sighed in relief.
I held onto Ethan’s arm and let him lead me to the dining room.
Once there, my eyes widened.
I’d only seen dining tables like this in movies, the kind made to sit about sixteen people, if not more.
Not one empty chair was left as we all found our seats. I was about to slide my chair out when Ethan gently stopped me and pulled out the chair for me.
All of a sudden, I felt like Jack aboard the Titanic, in first-class for the first time, with about three different forks and knives and spoons all set out neatly in front of me and no idea which one to use.
Only a few kids were present, presumably sitting beside their parents. But even they didn’t act like normal kids. Instead, they sat quiet and somber.
I somehow got through the small talk at the start of dinner. Ethan and I answered all of his relatives’ questions politely, and then they promptly ignored us.
Somehow I got the feeling no one had been expecting me. I whispered to Ethan, “Did you not tell them you were bringing me?"
"I'll explain later,” he replied.
I wanted to ask him what he meant, but then somebody actually made a joke, and I tried to join in on the laughter.
Goodness, even their laughter sounded fake.
Ethan got a hold of the plate of turkey, and he put a couple of slices on my plate. “Thanks,” I said.
Once he began eating, I glanced at him, trying to figure out which fork and knife I was supposed to be using.
Mrs. Roberts brought out a large bottle. Mark, Ethan's older brother grinned. “Champagne? What’s the special occasion?” he asked.
Their parents beamed at him. It wasn’t my first time around them, and as usual, they made it super obvious that they considered Ethan second best.
In their eyes, Mark was perfect.
Even Mark’s fiancée looked like a perfect Barbie doll, with her blonde hair and high cheekbones. The dress she wore made her look more like the first lady than a twenty-five-year-old. And instead of shoving them at the opposite end of the table, like they’d done with us, they were right beside them.
Ethan’s mom set the champagne on the table and served the glasses.
When everyone had one, his dad began speaking. “I have something very important to share tonight.” He paused as he swept his gaze around the table with a proud look on his face. “Our son, Mark, will be running for the state legislature next term.”
Several relatives murmured, clearly impressed.
“Of course, the family real estate firm will be sponsoring him,” Mr. Roberts went on. “And I dare say that with House Representative Parker retiring and endorsing our son, it should be an easy victory for us. I’ve always said that one of my biggest aspirations was to one day go into politics. Growing up, it was something I really wanted to do. But I ended up in the real estate business, and so I never saw my dream come true. And I’m too old to start now.”
That got some polite chuckles out of everyone.
“But now my eldest son will be carrying on that dream for me and making it come true.” He looked toward Mark proudly. “I couldn't be more proud to have someone represent the great state of Georgia than my son. I know he will do amazing things."
Mrs. Roberts dabbed at her eyes with her napkin, and everyone clinked their glasses together. “To Mark,” they murmured.
Unlike his family, Ethan didn’t take a drink of the champagne.
Instead, he put his glass down and stared at his food, most of it untouched. I put my hand on his arm, and he snatched it away. He wouldn’t look at me or anyone else, and it was easy to understand why.
Ethan’s dad called across the room. "Ethan, aren't you going to congratulate your brother?”
Everyone went silent a second time, sharing awkward looks, especially when they saw the look on Ethan’s face.
My eyes traveled back and forth between Ethan and his dad, not sure what was going to happen next.
Ethan finally met his eyes. “You know what, Dad? I have my own announcement to make. And I have a feeling you won't feel as much pride as you feel right now for Mark, but you know what? I think right now is as good a time as any to share it with you."
Ethan stood, and I looked up at him, my mouth open. My heart pounded, and I worried for him, for what was about to happen next.
While everyone had their gaze on Ethan, I couldn’t help but look at his parents and brother. His mother wore an expression of utter horror, while his father had one of pure indignation.
Meanwhile, Mark held back a smug grin.
And this whole time, his beautiful fiancée remained the picture-perfect image of a Barbie doll. No change in facial expression or anything. She really would make an ideal politician’s wife.
Ethan exhaled. “I quit, Dad. I'm not working for you anymore. I'm done." Ethan threw down his cloth napkin on the table.
"What do you mean you quit?” his dad demanded. “You don't quit the family business, son.” He sounded almost amused at that last sentence, but I knew better. The threat in his eyes remained clear.
Mark scoffed and looked at Ethan like he was a joke. Ethan clenched his hands into fists. The sound of his chair hitting the floor behind him broke the silence in the room.
I stood quickly, putting my hand on his arm and willing him not to make more of a scene than he already had.
But I doubted he noticed me at all because he kept going.
“I’m sick of all this, Dad,” he went on. “I’m through with this. With you.” He paused, but not for long. “Besides, why do you care if I quit? As long as Mark here keeps doing everything you ever dreamed of, that’s the only thing that matters, right?”
Even across the table, it was easy to see the vein or two in his dad’s temple pulse with fury.
His mom gasped. “Ethan!”
I squeezed Ethan’s arm. In the quietest voice possible, I said, “Ethan, maybe we should just go.”
He finally glanced at me and then back at his parents, at his brother.
Mark spoke up. “Yeah, maybe you should go, Ethan,” Mark said carefully.
It was almost impossible to pick up on it, unless you really knew both of them, but I heard the mock in his voice. The fake concern.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Ethan spat out.
He glanced at me for a second. “Well, I’m sure this isn’t quite your, uh, girlfriend’s scene anyway.”
My entire face grew hot.
Ethan made a move for him then, but he stopped. Mark gave him a smirk.
What was wrong with him? No wonder he was going into politics. He was a snake.
Ethan shook his head and looked at his parents, waiting for them to say something to Mark.
They didn’t, and it only made me feel more like something somebody stepped on.
Ethan shook his head. “This is why I’m through. Our entire lives you two have practically worshiped Mark. Let him do whatever he’s wanted. But I’m supposed to keep the family business going? I hate it. I hate it all. And I’m done.”
“Ethan!” his mom whisper-shouted, clutching at her chest. “Enough.”
“We won’t bother you all any longer,” Ethan said with a calm tone. He took my hand, and we made our way out.
Just as we reached the front door, his dad’s voice made us stop. He stood in the doorway. “If you walk out that door, don’t ever come back,” he said, his voice quiet but deadly serious.
Ethan took a deep breath. “Goodbye, dad.”
We sat silently in the car for a good ten minutes.
Ethan stared at the steering wheel, and I stared at Ethan, speechless.
What could I say? Nothing sounded right in my head.
Finally, he stuck the key in the ignition and got us out of there.
“You hungry?” he asked, his face and tone voice the complete opposite of what it had just been.
My mouth fell open.
Were we just going to pretend the past twenty minutes hadn’t just happened?
I opened my mouth to tell him how sorry I was about everything, but before I could, he said, "I guess the only place open right now is probably a pancake house, huh?”
The way he said it, with a little chuckle at the end, really had me worried for him. But I had no idea what to say.
A few minutes later, we pulled into the parking lot of a pancake house. He turned to me, taking my hand. "Are you hungry or what? I don’t know about you, but—”
And it finally seemed to hit him. His face fell, and he blinked a couple times.
He turned the car off, and I immediately felt the cold air seep in around us. I pulled my jacket around me and looked at Ethan. We sat there in silence for a while.
“I’m sorry," he whispered. “I ruined Thanksgiving for you tonight, didn't I?”
I squeezed his hand. “Don’t be silly. You didn't ruin Thanksgiving. Your family is just…"
"I know," he said, and I heard a little bit of anger in his voice again. "I really don't feel like dealing with people right now," he said looking towards the pancake house and then at me.
I was hungry. Ethan probably was too. “How about we just order to go?” I tried. “We can go back to your place. And tomorrow, we can see my mom. She’s an amazing cook.”
He barely met my eyes, but he nodded.
"Okay, then," I said with a small smile.
I called the pancake house from the car and ordered plenty of food for us.
“The food will be ready in a few minutes," I said.
He didn’t say anything. I lay my head on his shoulder and put my hand on his chest. I rubbed it softly back and forth, wishing I could take Ethan's pain away.
But I’d never be able to. Only he knew how to figure all this stuff with his family out.
I just knew that if he’d decided to say goodbye to his family for good, then I should be there for him.
As we sat there in the dark in Ethan's car, I felt his body tense, so I sat up and held his hand instead.
I bit my lip, getting the feeling that the old Ethan had decided to hide away again. And that the Ethan of the last year was coming back. The cold stare on his face told me so. The way he wouldn’t meet my eyes.
And that small part of me reminded me that I couldn’t fix Ethan.
That although I wanted to be there for him, I was also starting to get the feeling that maybe we were both in over our heads.
After I picked up the food, we went back to his apartment and ate in silence. I put on a movie, and we went back to sitting together in the dark again. At first glance, it was almost like old times, both of us cuddled under a blanket for a movie night.
Except it wasn’t like old times at all.
Ethan had his eyes on the TV, but he wasn’t watching the movie. I looked up at him from time to time, and the expression on his face didn’t change. His eyes remained full of hate and anger and a good bit of sadness. I felt for him, but I didn’t know what to say or how to help him fix this.
How was Ethan supposed to have a life without his family?
He had to find a new job. And I was pretty sure his parents paid his bills, even if they did pay him a salary. But I didn’t say any of that. I had to trust that he’d let me in after the initial shock tonight and let me help him in any way I could.
When the movie was over, he quietly got up. “I should probably get you home.”
