Once Upon a Temptingly Ruinous Kiss: #2 The Whickertons in Love, page 13
Leonora knew that Louisa was curious about her, about Lord Pemberton, about what had happened between them. The day they had first met, Louisa had seen with one glance that some kind of connection had formed between her sister and their new neighbor. Leonora had been taken aback by it as well and had been unable to put into words how that meeting had changed her. She had begged Louisa to give her time, and although Louisa had been disinclined to do so, she had promised.
“Are you well?” Lord Pemberton’s voice suddenly spoke out from in front of her, making Leonora flinch and pull to an abrupt halt. He stepped onto the path leading up to the house, his brows drawn down in concern. “You’re late. Very late.”
Leonora offered him a smile. “I’m sorry. My sisters cornered me. Apparently, they have taken notice of my disappearances.”
His brows drew down. “Then perhaps you should better return home. It is too great a risk for you to continue to come h—”
“No!” The word slipped from her lips with more vehemence and volume than she had intended. However, the thought that she would not be able to come here any longer, that she would not be able to see Lord Pemberton day after day had brought forth a deep feeling of loss, one she could not seem to bear.
Glancing over her shoulder, Leonora knew that they could not remain out here, and so she strode by him and into the house, aware that he followed close behind. She did not stop until they reached his study, that familiar place where she had faced her demons and done her utmost to fortify herself against them.
“Do you think they suspect anything?” Lord Pemberton inquired as he closed the door behind them. Curiously, it no longer unsettled her to find herself alone with him.
Not as it had in the beginning.
Leonora shook her head, then removed her cloak and draped it over the back rest of a chair. “They suspect something,” she told him honestly, noting the way his eyes narrowed. “They do not know that I come here. Only my grandmother knows. Louisa might suspect something. However, I never told her what we do here or even that I come here regularly.”
Lord Pemberton moved toward her, a frown upon his face as though he could see that she had not yet told him all. “Then, what do they suspect?”
Why Leonora felt awkward repeating what her sisters had said she did not know. Still, warmth rushed to her cheeks when she next spoke. “It seems they have taken notice of you watching…over me.” Her gaze wanted to fall from his, but she kept it in place, feeling her cheeks warm even further.
Lord Pemberton’s jaw moved as though his teeth ground together almost painfully. “I apologize. I should’ve been less obvious. I shall endeavor to be more inconspicuous in the future.”
“Good,” was all Leonora managed to say, relieved that he did not insist they part ways from here on out.
“Are you ready to begin?” Lord Pemberton inquired, a hint of doubt in his eyes.
Feeling the need to counteract it, Leonora nodded most enthusiastically. “I am.”
As Lord Pemberton had suggested upon their last meeting, their training sessions now changed. They took on a more intense character. Leonora knew that it was necessary for she needed to learn how to react in situations that resembled the one which had brought her here in the first place. She could not afford to lose her head when it truly mattered. She needed to find a way to remain levelheaded when someone stepped close, too close.
Although Lord Pemberton pushed her to the edge, he never overstepped certain boundaries. Despite his closeness or even his touch, Leonora never once found herself doubting that she was safe with him. He always asked for permission before he put a hand on her and gently guided her through the most trying moments when she was close to losing her head.
Another fortnight passed, and Leonora found herself thinking of little else but their training. Her training with Lord Pemberton. Every day, she all but looked forward to sneaking through the gap in the hedge and regretted the days that would not see them meet. She felt herself grow stronger and more confident. Her arms no longer ached after a lengthy training session. Instead, she felt invigorated, powerful even.
The moments when Lord Pemberton stepped close still sent a shiver down her back. She could feel the warmth of his body nearby and all but held her breath, waiting for him to touch her. Sometimes, he would stand behind her shoulder, inching closer, whispering in her ear. He taught her how to use her elbow, how to jab it backwards into his stomach. Once, she actually managed to bring him to his knees yet again.
These moments were the most horrible for Leonora. She could not bear to see him in pain, even though he always reassured her that he was perfectly fine. But how could he be? Not a day passed that Leonora did not feel amazed at his willingness to sacrifice his own well-being to see her reclaim hers. He told her that the eyes were a good point of attack as well; however, Leonora outright refused to even try and jab her fingers into his eyes. She did not care how much he insisted; she would not risk injuring him in such a way.
“Remaining calm and focused outside a controlled situation,” Lord Pemberton mumbled in her ear as he once more stood behind her shoulder, “is quite a different matter from the training sessions we do here. What do you do when a gentleman approaches you and asks you for a dance?”
Leonora inhaled a shuddering breath, remembering the two or three times she had had to decline such an invitation. Her heart had almost beat out of her chest, and she had felt panic well up inside her. “I tell myself to breathe and not to panic because all will be well, because there is no true threat. I tell myself that is only in my head.”
“Does it help you?” Lord Pemberton asked, his breath brushing over the shell of her ear. “Do you begin to feel better?”
Leonora frowned, unable to quite recall these moments. “I’m not certain. I manage to remain calm and not run from the room.” She scoffed, annoyed with herself. “I cannot rightfully say that I am any closer to experiencing these moments as I did before…” Her voice trailed off, sometimes even saying the word masquerade was too much. Sometimes—
All of a sudden, Lord Pemberton’s hands settled upon her waist. This time, he had not asked for permission, and Leonora drew in a sharp breath, momentarily overwhelmed by the feel of his hands as well as the memories they brought forth.
“Breathe,” he instructed in that calm voice of his, “and then react.”
Closing her eyes, Leonora drew in a deep breath, feeling it fill her body and give her strength. And then she moved as he had taught her, jabbing her elbow into his midsection before she spun around and shoved him backwards. He stumbled a few steps, but then caught himself and once more advanced upon her.
“What do you do now?” he demanded, looking at her in a way that made her skin crawl. She knew he was pushing her, daring her to react, to use her wits even in a moment that threatened to overwhelm her. “What do you do?”
Retreating, Leonora shook her head, unable to think. “I don’t know. I…” Then she felt the wall at her back and knew that there was no way out. Barely a heartbeat later, Lord Pemberton stood right in front of her. He leaned forward, his hands braced against the wall on each side of her head, his eyes dark and almost menacing as they held hers. “What do you do?”
Staring at him, Leonora shook her head. “I don’t know.”
His brows rose as his gaze held hers. “You run,” he told her, emphasizing each word. “You free yourself, and then you run.” He inhaled a slow breath, then leaned back, his hands falling away, releasing her from the cage he had formed around her. “Is that not what you did that night? You fought him off, and then you ran.”
Leonora paused, staring at him in bewilderment.
“You saved yourself.” His gaze was intense as it held hers. “You saved yourself. You did not wait for another’s rescue. You acted. You protected yourself. Don’t forget that. It was your strength and your will that saved you that night.”
Countless times, Leonora had relived that night in her dreams and her nightmares, and yet, she had never quite looked at what had happened in this way. She had only ever seen her weakness, her fear, her pain. Not once had she considered what had happened as an accomplishment. Yes, he had attacked her, but she had fought him. She had defended herself, and she had gotten away.
Lord Pemberton’s image began to blur as tears shot to Leonora’s eyes. Only these tears spoke of relief, of gratitude because after all this time Leonora finally came to realize that she was strong after all.
Chapter Seventeen
A Safe Anchor
Despite his own past, Drake had never quite looked at a ballroom in the way he did now. He had always known that a number of gentlemen did not deserve the word for they acted anything but gentlemanly. They dominated others through fear and pain and thought only of themselves. More than once, Drake had avenged a wife who had been brutalized by her own husband, someone who ought to see to her protection. Always had Drake found a reason to call out such a man, and more often than not, he had managed to end his life on the field of honor.
Doing so had brought Drake at least a sliver of satisfaction. It would never appease his own guilt over failing his mother, but at least he could ensure that others did not continue to suffer.
However, now, where Lady Leonora was concerned, Drake knew that something had changed. He no longer looked at her as one woman among many. Another victim who deserved his help.
Somehow, she had set herself apart from all the others.
Standing in yet another corner in yet another ballroom, Drake watched Lady Leonora and her family. Indeed, she was never alone, those she loved always nearby. Although Drake had had his doubts before, he had come to realize that Lord Whickerton loved his family fiercely, his watchful eyes never straying far from his daughters. He was a quiet man, who never spoke much and who spent most of his time with his wife by his side. It did not seem that either one of them attended balls in order to socialize, but merely to find another place to be with one another. It was an endearing sight, and Drake wished that all marriages could be like that.
Lady Leonora mostly remained behind whenever her sisters would take to the dance floor. Still, one night, when Lord Sedgwick approached her, Drake could see a new kind of determination come to her eyes. Although her body tensed, she seemed to remain in control, forcing her nerves to settle and accept the close proximity of the young lord. Indeed, Drake watched in astonishment as she accepted his hand and followed him onto the dance floor. It was not a waltz, but a dance that would lead them apart and back together, offering Lady Leonora space and moments of retreat, and Drake wondered if she had chosen the dance with thought.
“You look like a thundercloud,” Phineas suddenly remarked from behind him, “one ready to send out bolts of lightning at the next unsuspecting fool to venture outside.” His old friend stepped up to him and they stood shoulder to shoulder, their eyes directed at the dance floor and Lady Leonora. “She seems tense,” Phineas remarked with a sidelong glance at Drake. “And yes, different from the way she did this past year.”
Drake could hear a question in his friend’s voice. “Did your wife send you here?”
Phineas chuckled, and he glanced over to where his new wife was watching them most intently. “She can be most impatient,” he remarked affectionately. “Especially when she is worried about one she loves.”
Drake nodded. He had seen the way the new Lady Barrington occasionally looked at him. He had seen the hint of suspicion in her eyes. Clearly, she did not trust him, not where her sister’s welfare was concerned. He wondered if it was something he had done or if it was a natural distrust, something that was part of who she was. “What does she want to know?”
“Well, quite frankly, she wants to know what is going on between you and her sister,” Phineas told him quietly, careful that his voice would not carry to another’s ears. “After all, we watched Leonora slip over to your house on our wedding day, and ever since it seems that Leonora spends many afternoons absent her family’s townhouse with rather unusual explanations provided by their grandmother.” He chuckled, casting a wicked grin at Drake. “From personal experience, I can tell you that Grandma Edie has her very own ideas of right and wrong. She is not above condoning certain behavior if she believes it will lead to a greater good for her family.”
Drake shifted his gaze to where the dowager countess sat snoozing in a chair.
“Did she speak to you?” Phineas inquired as he moved to face Drake more directly, his eyes watchful. “Truth be told, the old lady supported my pursuit of her granddaughter long before Louisa came to look upon it favorably.”
Drake frowned. “What do you mean?”
Raking a hand through his hair, Phineas laughed, disbelief in his eyes. “What I mean is that apparently Grandma Edie had decided that I was the one for Louisa long before Louisa herself came to look at me that way.” His gaze narrowed as he looked at Drake. “I was simply wondering if perhaps Grandma Edie has had similar thoughts about you.” His brows rose in challenge. “Has she spoken to you? Encouraged you to seek out Leonora?”
Drake once more glanced at the snoozing dowager. “She did speak to me once. At the Christmas house party. She asked my opinion of Lord Gillingham and whether or not I considered him suitable for Lady Leonora.”
Beside him, Phineas laughed. “I believe, old friend, Grandma Edie has set her sights on you, which I admit makes me wonder.”
Drake could not say that he liked his old friend’s inquisitiveness. “About what?”
Phineas looked over at the dance floor to where Lady Leonora was still engaged with Lord Sedgwick, her face rather stoic and her movements stiff. “I wonder what is truly going on between the two of you. After all, Grandma Edie was right about Louisa and myself. Perhaps she’s right about you two as well.” He frowned. “She does come to you when she vanishes from home, does she not?”
Drake looked at Phineas carefully, then gave an almost imperceptible nod.
“I see,” Phineas mumbled, casting another glance in his wife’s direction. “And if I might inquire, what do you do?” His brows rose, and Drake detected no small measure of suspicion in his friend’s eyes.
Drake crossed his arms over his chest and glared at his friend. “Do you truly believe that I would take advantage of her after everything she has been through? Is that the kind of man you think I am?”
Again, Phineas laughed. Drake could not say he cared for the reaction. “I must say your defensiveness speaks volumes, old friend. No, of course, I do not believe you are taking advantage of her. However, it is most obvious that there is something between the two of you. You watch her like a hawk, and whenever she is most nervous, her eyes inevitably search for you. The moment she sees you, a new calm falls over her. Have you not noticed?”
Drake felt a sudden urge to avert his eyes but knew that doing so would only confirm Phineas’ thoughts. “She looks to me for reassurance,” he replied simply, wishing he could abandon this conversation.
Phineas frowned yet again. “When she visits you, what do you do? Why is it that she looks to you for reassurance?”
“If you must know,” Drake began, knowing that his old friend would never let this rest without receiving at least some answers, “I took your advice.”
“My advice?”
Drake nodded. “I’m teaching her how to defend herself.”
Phineas’ jaw dropped and he gawked at Drake in a most unbecoming way. “Pardon me? Are you saying you’re teaching her how to fight?”
Drake frowned at his friend. “Was that not what you suggested? That she learn how to stand up for herself? How did you think I would accomplish that if not by at least providing her with some tools to ensure her own safety?”
Phineas heaved a deep sigh, his hand rising and raking through his hair as he thought Drake’s words over. “I’m not saying you did wrong. It’s simply…an unusual approach. Perhaps though,” he glanced at Lady Leonora as Lord Sedgwick escorted her off the dance floor, “it is the right one.” He turned back to look at Drake. “I assume you have not yet managed to unmask her attacker.”
Gritting his teeth, Drake shook his head no. “I’ve hired an investigator as you know, and he continues to add names to the list of guests that night. I expect it will take a while longer before it is complete. In the meantime, I’ve hired yet another investigator to look more closely at those men present there that night. Thus far, though, nothing suspicious has come to light.” His gaze wandered to Lady Leonora, and he felt no small measure of relief at seeing her once more safely ensconced within her family circle.
Her eyes rose to sweep across the room, and it did not take long for them to find him. A smile came to her face then, and he could see her shoulders rise and fall with deep breaths as though the very sight of him somehow calmed her.
“See?” came Phineas’ insistent voice. “She’s doing it again.” He chuckled. “As are you. Don’t pretend you don’t care for her because it is most obvious that you do.” And with a companionable clap on Drake’s shoulder, Phineas turned and walked back to his wife, no doubt eager to inform her of all he had learned.
Drake remained behind, the warmth that had flooded his being at seeing Lady Leonora’s response to his presence threatened by a most disconcerting thought. What if he did care for her? Would that not inevitably pose the question of how she felt for him?
After everything that had happened, Drake wondered if Lady Leonora would ever again be able to give her heart to someone. What if the night of the masquerade had changed everything for her?
Chapter Eighteen
Love & Affection
The first few signs of spring showed as Leonora and Louisa walked arm in arm through Hyde Park one afternoon. The sun shone brightly overhead, warming the air and teasing the first blossoms into blooming. Colors returned to the world, eager for spring and warmth.
