Clueless (Squad Goals Book 1), page 9
“Hey, baby,” I say when his beautiful bright-blue eyes open.
“Mmm, morning.”
I lean over to kiss him, but he moves away. I freeze.
“I have morning breath, Ryder.” My heart starts back up. Fucking hell, I thought he was done with me.
“I don’t fucking care. Only uptight pricks care about morning breath.”
“I don’t think that’s—oomph.” I cut him off and shove my tongue so deep into his throat I could probably eat him out. Being connected to him is everything.
“Can I take care of you?” I ask, running my fingers over his cock.
“Yes, please.” He pushes his ass back into my cock. “Can I help you too?”
Fuck yes, he can.
“I want to slide my cock through your cheeks.”
“Yes, why aren’t you doing it already?”
I chuckle. The impatient little shit.
I lean over and grab the lube from my nightstand. I pour some into my hand and slick my dick before throwing it on the bed somewhere and wrapping my hand around his cock. I angle my dick so it’s in between his cheeks as I stroke him long and slow. The same speed as my hips thrusting into him.
This is comfortable and sexy. I want more mornings like this. I want a hell of a lot more like this. For the first time in my life, I’m thinking about a future that isn’t all about cars.
He leans back, grabs the back of my neck, and pulls me in for a kiss. We stay like that the whole time. Slowly making out and fucking until my balls draw up, and I unload my seed into his ass crack. A few more tugs, and Lexi gasps into my mouth as his release overcomes him.
He sighs contentedly, and I press a small kiss on his temple. I lift my cum-covered hand to my mouth for a quick taste.
“I wasn’t imagining it. You taste just as good as you did last night.” I look at him, blush covering his body—glad I know that tidbit—and covered in my cum.
Fucking beautiful.
“Come on. We need a shower.” I wouldn’t mind keeping him like this all day, but I think he would get a little uncomfortable.
He nods in agreement, so I pull him up and we make our way to my ensuite. I turn the shower on, and we smile goofily at each other while waiting for the water to warm.
We’ve had sex three times now, but there’s something intimate about showering together. When I drag him in, I start washing him. I dirtied him up, and I want to be the one to make him clean. I soak my sponge and start cleaning every part of him. I pay special attention to his ass, which I think he appreciates because his cock makes a valiant attempt at a second wind.
“I wish we could spend the whole day in bed together,” I say before leaning in for a kiss.
“What do you have going on?”
“I’m hanging out with Garrett. It’s been a while. I’ve been neglecting him these first few weeks of college, and we definitely need a good catch-up.”
He smiles at me sweetly. “That sounds nice.”
“Do you think you’d ever like to top?” I ask him. “It’s not something I’ve ever done, but I’d do it with you.”
“I’d like to try it sometime,” he says with a smile.
We get out of the shower and towel-dry ourselves. I pick out some sweats and a T-shirt for Lexi so he doesn’t have to do the walk of shame in that tiny, sexy skirt.
Once he’s dressed, he looks at me nervously, fiddling with a loose thread on his sweats. “You mentioned there being a next time. Last night when we were…together. Did you…I mean, do you still want that? A next time. Or was this morning the next time? Because I definitely want to do all of that again.”
He’s so cute when he’s awkward. I put him out of his misery quickly.
“Yeah, baby. I definitely want there to be a lot more next times,” I say, earning a beaming smile.
I still think it’s really weird how I’ve seen him nearly every day for four years, and I’m only now realizing things like how cute he is.
And hot.
So incredibly hot.
I’m going to show him that this is more than just sex to me. I want all of him.
I drop Lexi off with a smile and a kiss before heading straight to Garrett’s place.
His first serious boyfriend was a British guy, and when they were together, they would always eat a roast dinner at three o’clock on a Sunday. It’s weird. He basically cooks a mini-Thanksgiving meal without the yams and cranberry sauce every week.
The relationship fizzled out after a few months, but it’s something Garrett loved enough to keep doing.
“It smells amazing in here,” I call as I walk through the door without knocking. Garrett gets mad if I knock, plus he never hears me. Too busy dancing as he cooks. I make my way down the hall and into the kitchen, where I see Garrett dancing to Selena Gomez’s “Come and Get It.”
“You look like you’re having fun.”
“Shit, Ryder, I wasn’t expecting you for another hour. Grab yourself a beer. Food is still gonna be a half-hour.” Garrett says, looking over his shoulder as he bastes the chicken.
I make my way to the refrigerator, pulling out a beer. “We did say we were gonna have Sunday lunch, didn’t we?”
“Yeah, I mean, I didn’t expect you so early. I’m glad you’re here though.”
“I had to drop Lexi at home on my way here,” I say without thinking.
“Lexi, not Kait?”
“Yep.”
“Okay.” He looks at me like he wants to say something but changes his mind. “What’s going on there?”
“Well, definitely a lot of sex.”
“I figured. It seems to be your favorite pastime after cars.”
“Sex with Lexi is better than cars.”
“Wow,” he says, sitting at the counter and taking a sip of beer. “So this is more than just sex?”
I take a seat opposite him and sigh. “It’s definitely more than sex. It’s Lexi. There’s no way I would just hook up with him and it not mean more. I think it is more than just sex to him too.”
“He’s demi, right?”
“Right.”
“So he must feel some kind of connection with you.”
“I hope so.”
“Sounds like you two are going to have a bit of a conversation in your near future. You should probably think about what it means for your relationship with Kait.”
“Looks like it,” I say. Kait. I know her better than anyone. Better than Lexi knows her. She is fierce, loyal, and so fucking loving. She will definitely be okay with this thing between Lexi and me. “Anyway, less about my slightly complicated love life. Tell me about yours.”
Garrett just rolls his eyes at me. “There’s nothing to tell, kid.”
“Oh, come on. You must have some juicy details?” Garrett looks at me with just one eyebrow raised. “Do you really want to hear about my sex life?”
“Sex life, no. Love life, yes.”
“There’s nothing to tell.” A dark look passes over his face briefly before it’s gone. “I was thinking about giving Owen more hours and hiring someone specializing in motorcycles so we can start working on more bikes. What do you think?”
I think it’s a clumsy subject change, but I roll with it, giving him my thoughts.
We spend the rest of the day eating and hanging out in Garrett’s garage, where he works on an old VW Beetle he loves to putter about with.
Lexi is never too far from my mind. It’s like he’s imprinted on my soul.
How do I go from someone whose motto is No boyfriends, no repeats to someone absolutely besotted with a man I’ve known since high school.
It makes no sense, but it also makes all the sense in the world.
Chapter seventeen
Lexi
It’s been a few weeks since Ryder and I started hooking up, and it’s been amazing. We haven’t told anyone, but the guys on the squad know what’s going on. Perry particularly likes to tease me about always having a goofy smile. Which I totally can’t help. I think anyone would have a goofy smile if they were getting railed multiple times a week by the love of their life. Yeah, okay, he doesn’t realize he’s the love of my life. We’ve just got some weird sort of friends-with-benefits thing going on where we don’t actually talk about what we’re doing. I am living in the moment and taking what I can get.
And if this is all it will ever be, then I guess that is what I’m taking.
I’m much more okay with it than I thought I would be. I guess it’s the constant endorphin rush. Or is it a dopamine hit? Maybe both. Either way. The result is all the orgasms with the man of my dreams equals a happy Lexi.
I turn the corner and see Garrett’s shop, which is where I’m heading. I left my phone in my Ryder’s car this morning. It wasn’t actually after spending the night with him. He decided to come and pick up Kait and me. More likely, Kait asked for a ride this morning because she couldn’t be bothered to walk the ten minutes it takes to get to campus.
“Ryder, looks like you’ve got a customer,” Garrett says, winking at me as I walk through the lot. Ryder looks at his uncle quizzically and then across the garage to me. His face lights up with a smile. I challenge anyone to not fall in love with that adorable face and his sexy lip ring that feels so good when he swallows my cock. It’s impossible.
“Hi,” I say as I walk up to him.
“Hi yourself,” he says, pulling me to him by the zipper of my hoodie, his mouth immediately on mine in a very unchaste kiss. I sigh into his mouth, but all too soon, I pull away, remembering we have an audience.
“I get off in an hour if you don’t have any plans and want to hang out with me during my shift,” he says, his hand still fiddling with my zipper.
“Yeah, sounds fun.”
“Just remember to maybe not touch anything.” He kisses me on the nose, walks over to the reception desk, and grabs a chair, dragging it over for me.
“What do you mean to not touch anything?” I fold my arms, ignoring the chair. “I could help.”
“I’m sure you could. But remember, I’ve known you for years. I watched you help your pa change a tire,” he says, making me blush.
“It was one time. I could definitely fix a tire,” I mumble.
“Ryder, your boyfriend doesn’t know how to change a tire?” Garrett asks, walking over to us, mouth agape. “We need to fix this now. You carry on with the Chevy. I’ll deal with Lexi. Follow me.”
I look at Ryder, who just smiles and shrugs. “You heard the man.”
I say nothing and catch up with Garrett, who is walking through the back of the shop, where he has another garage full of cars in different states of being. He leads me over to one that has both back wheels missing and is propped up on bricks.
“This is the one. She’s a beauty.”
She’s missing a windshield and all her seats.
“I’m going to show you the whole process first, and then you can try.” I listen as he explains every step, pausing after each one to see if I have any questions. His passion and love for cars shines through. It’s not hard to see where Ryder got his love of all things vehicles. I like that it’s something we’ve got in common. Enjoying the same passions as the men who raised us.
“Do you want to try now?” Garrett asks.
“Yeah, thanks. I really should know this for when I get a car.”
“You don’t have a car?” I keep shocking this poor man. He’s only in his mid-thirties, but I think I add twenty years with each admission.
“No?” It comes out like a question. “I mean, no. I just Uber everywhere or catch a ride with a friend.” I shrug.
“Okay, we’ll fix that soon.” He looks at me, assessing. It’s the same look he gave me when I covered for Kait and Ryder after they snuck out to a college party in high school. “You’re good for him, and I think he’s good for you.”
“I-I mean we…no, I,” I splutter out.
“Do you need a glass of water?” he asks, eyebrows scrunching in concern.
“No, thank you.” I take a deep breath. “We haven’t talked about what it is we’re doing. But I know I want to keep doing it. Him. I mean, I want to do whatever it is I’m doing with Ryder, always.”
I’m an idiot.
“You’ve loved him for a while, huh?” The shock must be clear on my face because he continues. “I think the only person who hasn’t realized is Ryder.”
“He’s so easy to love,” I whisper.
Garrett’s whole face smiles, and he pulls me into a brief hug. “Perfect for each other.”
Having Garrett’s blessing is a great feeling. Garrett and Kait are the two most important people in Ryder’s life and now they both like me. Well, I hope Kait will still like me if she ever finds out about Ryder and me sleeping together.
I know Garrett liking me doesn’t automatically mean that Ryder will want me as a boyfriend and declare his undying love, but it’s definitely a plus.
I just realized Ryder never corrected Garrett when he called me his boyfriend earlier. Does that mean something? I try not to, but I fucking hope it does.
Raised voices come from inside the garage. The tire is abandoned as I follow after Garrett to see what’s going on. Ryder, with a hard, cold look, is staring at a man who looks like an older, beardless, washed-out version of Garrett.
Ryder’s dad.
“What are you doing here, Gerald?” Garrett demands.
“I’m here to see my son,” Gerald sneers. “Go back to your office with your skanky little boy toy.”
“What the fuck did you call him?” Ryder asks, his voice like icy daggers.
“Don’t get too attached to your uncle’s lovers, Ryder. Surely you know they never stick around.”
Ryder lunges for him, but like he was expecting it, Garrett moves at the same time and catches him.
“Lexi is mine, you motherfucker, and don’t you dare talk to Garrett that way. He is a better man than you will ever fucking be.”
“He’s brainwashed you. I knew I shouldn’t have let you go with him.” His dad says in a sad voice, shaking his head. He genuinely believes the shit he’s spouting. “I have been trying to call you, and you haven’t answered. Your mother and I want you to come home.”
“Why?” Ryder spits out. “Why now, after all these years, do you want me back?”
Gerald steels himself. “Well, you see, we have a new pastor. And he says it’s okay to be gay. And your mom’s hair stylist mentioned that we have a gay son. All the people at church would love to meet you.”
This piece of shit doesn’t look even remotely ashamed of himself.
“Oh, so I get it. You only want me in your life so you can save face? I’m not a fucking prop, and I don’t know where you and Mom get off calling me your son. Not when I haven’t been your son for seven fucking years.” Right now, Ryder looks like the bad boy people seem to think he is. His eyes are wild, and if I didn’t know him, I’d say he was going to deck his dad. I move to his side, placing a hand on his back. He doesn’t look at me, but he leans into my hand.
“Hey, we did what we thought was best,” Gerald says weakly. He has to know he’s lost this fight.
“Yeah, well, what you thought was best was absolutely shit. I don’t owe you anything. I haven’t owed you anything ever. I was a kid. You were the parents. You chose your church over me. So, no, I don’t owe you a damn thing. Now get out. You’re not my parents. Garrett has been more of a father to me than you ever were. Leave, lose my number. Forget I ever existed. Tell all your church friends I died or whatever, but just stay away from me.”
Gerald looks at Ryder like he wants to say something else but thinks better of it before looking at Garrett and me.
Garrett takes a deliberate step toward his brother. “Leave now. Ryder has become the amazing man he is despite you.”
“Maybe your mother and I need to go to a new church anyway.” He sniffs, clearly intending to wound but not hitting the mark. He storms off to his car and peels out of the lot.
“Are you okay?” I ask. He pulls me into him, wrapping his arms around my back, putting his face against my neck, and breathing me in deeply.
“That was horrible.”
“I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. You deserve better than them, and you’ve got better than them with Garrett.” He lifts his head and smiles at me before pressing a quick kiss to my lips.
“I do have Garrett.” He looks over at him and smiles.
“Love you, kid,” Garrett says. “I’m proud of you. You handled that perfectly.”
I try to move out of Ryder’s arms to give them some space, but he doesn’t let me go.
“Don’t think I could ever thank you enough for taking me in when you did.”
“It wasn’t a hardship, you know,” he grunts affectionately. “Go on. You go clock out. I’ll teach your boyfriend another time. Lexi, I mean that. Our lessons are not finished, so you better come back.”
“I promise I will.”
Ryder grabs his stuff, and we make our way to his car.
“Let’s go back to my place. I want naked cuddles and to watch something made this century.”
“Okay, but I should warn you that Kait discovered That ‘90s Show on Netflix, so she will put that on the next time you pull that excuse.” I hear a mumbled “Fucking hell” as I get in his car and put on my seat belt.
He also gets in, but he doesn’t start the engine. “This is gonna sound…I don’t actually know how this is gonna sound, but just know that I’ve got closure now. Like, I feel some part of me is healed from just telling him off. I think the last thing I said to him before today was, ‘I’m sorry that I can’t turn the gay thing off, but I wish I could.’ It was horrible. I cried, and my mom just stood there. Complete apathy.”
I scramble over the center console to get into his lap, pressing kisses all over his face. I cradle his face in my hands.
“Even if that had been your last conversation and you’d never seen him again, you were a child. You were brave and scared, and you were losing your family. I would be proud of you. But yeah, you got to stand up to him today as a man, and I’m glad you got that closure because you deserve so much better than your so-called parents could ever give you.”
