Judas: Indignant Few MC Book 1, page 13
“No more games,” I said. I knelt on my hands and knees on the bed and softly took the tip of his erection in my fingers, feeling its velvety head, all the while staring up at him. He groaned and shuddered, and I shook my head and clicked my tongue. “See?” I teased. “It’s not as easy as you think it is. When somebody rubs you just the right way…” I stuck out my tongue and traced it around the tip of his dick, my eyes locked on his. I took his girth in my mouth, wildly, lust burning through my body, using my tongue to beg him to stay here with me, even just for the night in the best way I knew how.
He was not apprehensive, nor was he gentle, and as he wrapped his hand around my hair and used the ponytail he made to work my head back and forth on his cock, I relaxed my jaw, gagging a little, eager to take him all in, watching his face the entire time.
“I’ve wanted you so long,” he growled, “wanted to see those perfect lips wrapped around my cock.” I moaned into him as he traced his hands down my back, cupped my ass in his hands, parted my folds once again and teased his thumb into my wet pussy. “I want it all Athena. I want you here,” he said, sliding another finger into me, making me gasp.
He dragged my wetness from my pussy, sliding it up my slit until he circled my tightest hole. As he began to tease his finger into my ass, I screamed like a crazed woman, the fullness sending waves of pleasure through my body from my head to my toe. I could barely concentrate on the task at hand, instead just letting him take over. “I want you here, too,” he said.
No cameras. No scripts. No bright lights in my face. Nobody calling the shots but this perfect man. Judas, my salvation. My rock. The way he was strumming at my clit while he worked his fingers in and out of me made my toes curl and my body shudder. I was so close. So fucking close.
And he knew it.
“That’s it babe,” he groaned, “I want you to come with my dick in your mouth. You want a reason to stay? It’s because you’re mine and you know it.” I collapsed in the biggest orgasm I’d ever had in my life, gasping for air around his cock, but he was relentless.
He turned me over on my back, parting my legs and stroking my spit all over his dick, his eyes wild and his body coated in a thin layer of sweat, accentuating every last one of his perfectly carved muscles. He reached into his nightstand and pulled out a condom, and I laid there quivering, a huge smile across my face as I anticipated what was still to come. The way he gripped my hips and pulled me to the edge of the bed, one swift movement, it was the hottest thing I could imagine. He was a man who knew what he wanted.
Our eyes locked once again, and he started to slide his dick into my drenched hole, inch by inch, stretching me around his girth, gripping me by the hips hard enough to leave a spattering of fingerprints. Marking me. Taking me. Showing me I was his. I hooked my heels around his perfectly round ass, grinding into him as he thrusted in and out, my walls gripping him like I wanted to keep him there forever, my body trying to milk him for everything he had. All my fantasies were coming to life, and as I tilted my head back and began to climax again, I felt the familiar twitch of his cock. He grunted, his sweat dripping down onto me, and sunk his teeth into my shoulder as he began to cum. I dug my fingernails into his back. If he wanted to play for keeps, all these bitches needed to know he was mine, too.
He pressed his lips to mine, and we kissed passionately, slowly, as I felt him soften inside me. I could feel his heart pounding into my chest. I didn’t know what was coming over me, but I burst into tears.
“Thena?” he asked, stroking my hair from my face. He looked down at me with concern, slowly pulling out of me. He stood in front of me, silent.
I laughed through my tears, my face turning bright red with embarrassment. Something about this man brought out the softness in me. I didn’t want to admit what was on my mind. I didn’t want to admit that he had given me a perfectly good reason to stay. It wasn’t because the sex was so good, so right, better than anything I’d ever had before.
It wasn’t because I knew the club needed me, or that he needed me, or that I was hiding out from some men who wanted me dead.
It was because I loved him.
I loved him more than I’d ever loved anyone in my life, more than I loved myself. I just didn’t know if I was strong enough to see past the patch and the lifestyle that came along with it. But maybe I could try.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered. “That was just really impressive.” I wiped the tears from my face and sat up, watching his perfect form as he walked to the bathroom to dispose of our evidence. He grabbed a couple bottles of water from the fridge and handed me a towel as he sat down on the bed next to me.
“What now?” he asked. “You want me to go?”
“Judas!” I said, wrapping my arm around him. “Are you sure you’re an Indignant? You’re supposed to kick me out. This is your room, ya know?”
“Athena, when I’m with you, I’m not an Indignant. When I’m with you, nothing matters but what we have. You understand that? I know you’ve been burned by the club. I know you’ve seen some shit your dad and the old heads used to do. That’s not me.”
He interlaced his fingers with mine. I’d known it this whole time.
“I’m not gonna beg you,” he said, “but I will do whatever I can to show you. This club is my family, but you’ll always have my loyalty. Having you here is the best and worst thing that’s ever happened to me, girl. Knowing you might be gone tomorrow, it makes it hard to even look at you, and Lord knows all I want to do is stare at your perfect body all night long.”
I rested my head on his shoulder. In this moment I wanted nothing more than to profess my love for him. I wanted to promise him I’d stay forever, that I’d make it work. I knew he would never do anything to hurt me purposely, but that wasn’t what I was worried about.
Just as much as he feared losing me, I knew the day would come that I would have to lose him. That’s the way this always worked. This club made widows. Was that a fate I was just willing to wait around for ignorantly?
Live in the moment, Athena.
Tonight was not the time for making any decisions. Tonight was the time for me and him to get under the covers and play dumb, drift off to sleep and pretend like this could be our future, our happily ever after. In the morning, I could face the future, with or without him. Right now, I just wanted to be near him, to make up for all of our lost years.
23
Judas
Of course I woke up alone.
Maybe last night was just a dream. Maybe it was my worst nightmare coming into fruition. Athena’d left me once before. Having her for the first time was the worst kind of torture I could’ve imagined. I’d rather let Rosey waterboard me for six hours than play this sadistic mental game of maybe I will, maybe I won’t get to spend the rest of my life with the woman I love.
My back was sore, my mouth dry, and I needed a hot shower and cup of coffee before I could even think about what I needed to get into today. Her stuff was still scattered all over my room, a weird change from the way I normally kept it. I’d be more than happy to live with her chaos if I knew it was a sign she was sticking around. I knew it wasn’t, though. Last time she left here, she didn’t even take a bag, just hopped in a car and stopped answering her phone.
This time was different though. She wasn’t safe. There were men out to get her. I should’ve slept in front of the door. Even if she didn’t want me, she didn’t need to be out in the wild.
The door creaked open, and there she stood. Her jean shorts were so short and frayed, the pockets hung out of the bottom and they looked like they were going to fall down off her tiny frame. Her tits poured out over her polka dotted tank top. Her hair was up in a sloppy ponytail and she had on a full face of make-up.
“Don’t look so happy to see me,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
“Where’d you go?” I asked.
“I went to the gym with Tress. I brought you breakfast,” she said, holding out a plate. “Mama said this is what you like.”
“You don’t need to be going to the gym,” I said. I instantly regretted it when it came out of my mouth, knowing she’d probably take it the wrong way. She was basically a toothpick with tits these days, but I still thought she was sexy as hell. What I really meant was that she didn’t need to be going anywhere.
She rolled her eyes at me. “Best cure for a hangover,” she said. “I needed to sweat that shit out.” She handed me the plate, but I didn’t take it. Reality was hitting me about last night. To me it was everything. To her, I was probably just a stupid drunken mistake. As if she could read my face like a book, she took my hand and pressed it to her lips. “I didn’t mean it that way. I just don’t really drink anymore. I can’t keep up with you guys.”
Her freshly washed hair smelled so good. She unwrapped the foil covered plate, steam rolling off the breakfast burrito and baked sweet potato.
“This blows my mind,” she giggled. “Most of ya’ll are human garbage disposals. I watched Colt wrestle a piece of bacon off Miles’ dog this morning after it fell on the floor.”
“Jesus, what time is it?” I asked. Maybe I’d drank a little too much last night too. We were supposed to start demoing the Anderson warehouse this week so we could turn it into a new ‘storage facility.’ It was a great location, out in the woods just far enough that nobody could hear you scream, and close enough to a bunch of major highways for transport purposes. Sat on a huge chunk of land, too.
“Relax,” she said. “I moved some things around. I hope you don’t mind, but you’re stuck with me all day.” She plopped down on the edge of the bed, and I couldn’t help but stare at those long tanned legs. I’d rather have her for breakfast than this plate of food, but I appreciated her and her mom looking after me, so I stood there and ate while she watched intently.
“I think I’m going to turn myself in to the police,” she said, pressing her finger to her lips. I nearly choked on my burrito.
“What?” I stammered. “Please tell me you’re kidding.”
“You want me to stay here? I want to do it the right way. I don’t want to spend my life in hiding, Judas. I want to be with you, don’t get me wrong, but I can’t just be an old lady. I worked my ass off since I was seventeen. I built a career. I built a brand.”
“You want to keep doing porn?” I asked. The thought really never crossed my mind. I had tolerated before, but before I had no choice. No old lady of mine was going to be fucking dudes for money, that was for certain. I could tolerate a lot of things from her, but that was a hard no on my part.
“Don’t be a dick. I wasn’t just ‘doing porn.’ I was running a fucking business, and it took me a lot of hard work to build my name up in the industry, but now it’s trash. I’m a thief. Nobody trusts me. I need to clear my name. The only way I can do that is if I go to the police, explain what happened, and even if I have to do jail time, at the very least everybody will know it was a big mistake on my part.”
“No,” I said. I didn’t even know how to process what she was saying, just that it was a bunch of nonsense. Her heart was in the right place, but she didn’t even know what kind of can of worms she was opening. “Just no. To all of that.”
She raised her eyebrow and pursed her lips. “You know ‘no’ doesn’t work on me, right? First of all, I don’t want to be in porn anymore, so don’t be so fucking insecure. There’s a million things I can do with my contacts that don’t involve showing my tits on the internet. Second of all, you went to jail. You survived…”
“I’m gonna stop you right there,” I said. “I went to kid jail. And I’m a man. You’re not turning yourself in.”
“Do you want me to stay or not? I’m doing this for you, Judas. For our future. I don’t want to spend my life looking over my shoulder. I don’t want you to have to worry every fucking day that some random guy I owe money to is going to show up and blow your head off. I’m protecting the club as much as I’m protecting myself.”
“We’ve been getting on just fine without your protection,” I said. She didn’t have the first clue about what she was talking about.
“Why don’t you understand? I’m trying to make things right.” She stood up from the bed and started tossing her stuff into her backpack, storming through my room like a tornado.
“Where are you going to go?” I asked.
“To Tressica’s. She works for a law firm. Maybe her lawyers can help me with my case.”
I grabbed her backpack and threw it over my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her waist and stared down at that beautiful face, stared into those defiant eyes that made me hard and angry at the same time. “Let me take care of it,” I said. “It’s not you against the world anymore. When you’re with me, I promise, I’ll give you the life you want.” I pressed my lips to her forehead.
“I want more than these four walls, Judas. I want more than a life of waiting around for a phone call from the coroner. I don’t want to end up like my mama.”
“I’m gonna give you everything, babe. Everything you want. More.” I kissed her soft lips, trying to resist my urge to just rip her clothes off. “You gotta trust me.”
“The last time a man said that to me I ended up in Vegas selling my ass for money.”
“Well, your ass is no longer for sale,” I said. “Nobody can own you, Athena. You’re bigger than that. And you’re totally right, I’d never expect you to just be my old lady.”
“Honey, any woman should be honored ‘just’ to be your old lady. I feel like such a bitch. It’s just… it’s in my blood. I don’t want a man to provide me things that I can provide myself. I want you. I want the man who can give me all the things I never knew I needed.” She batted her long eyelashes at me. It was the Athena I fell in love with all those years ago summed up in a single glance. Wild and free. Independent. True outlaw to the point of not being able to even fit in with a biker gang.
“You know what I think we both need right now?” I asked. “We need to go for a ride. When’s the last time you been on a bike?”
“Shit, Jude, not since I left home,” she said with a shrug. “I didn’t just swear off you bikers, I swore off all bikers.” I don’t know why, but it made me feel better. Made me feel like in some twisted way, I still got a part of her that nobody had had. None of those men or women who’d used her body in Vegas. They never got the chance to feel her pressed up against them on the back of a bike, not like I had. Not like I was going to. “Can we go to Parker Dam?”
“Definitely.” Parker Dam was the perfect spot for an official first date. Sure, I’d been out there with her a million times before. In the summer, her, Colt, and I used to wander the trails, smoking joints and swimming in the lake. I hadn’t been there since my dog Jonny died. I used to take him swimming every chance I got.
“I don’t have a bathing suit,” she said, raising her eyebrows.
“Neither do I,” I teased, swatting her round ass.
The purpose of this trip was twofold. Obviously I wanted to spend the day with her. Any man would be crazy not to. I also needed to get on my bike and clear my mind, try and figure out how I was going to keep my promise to her. I needed to figure out how I was going to keep her safe and get her out of the mess she was in without her ending up dead or in jail. We could only pretend like there wasn’t an axe hanging over our heads for so long, and it was only a matter of time before somebody leaked her whereabouts or her affiliation with the club.
I could promise her the world, but if I couldn’t deliver, I’d definitely lose her. I knew the clock was ticking. Today we could just live in ignorance, though. Today I was taking my woman to Parker Dam.
24
Athena
I forgot how good it felt to be flying down the winding country roads with the wind on my face and the sun on my back. Never once when I rode with Judas did I ever feel frightened, even though he was kind of a daredevil. He didn’t ride the way he did to show off or try and impress me, he did it because he knew that machine inside and out. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was doing complicated equations in his brain, calculating the curves of the road and the viscosity of the air. It almost hurt my heart that his brilliance was wasted on the club.
Almost.
Except he was happy. He was content with this life. He had a family. Even though the good lord granted him brains and a body, he had to create that for himself. I couldn’t picture him as a lawyer or a doctor. Right now, my arms wrapped firm around his waist, my face pressed into the leather of his cut, I couldn’t picture him as anything but this. Couldn’t picture myself anywhere else. It was crazy how powerful these machines were.
He parked his bike near the trailhead to the Quehanna. Camping season was in full swing, and everywhere we walked, people were sitting outside of their RVs and tents, drinking beer out of plastic cups and grilling over little fires. I wondered what they thought as we walked past, him in his boots and leather, me and my porn star aesthetic, hand in hand with shit eating grins across our faces.
Probably that we were the luckiest people to ever exist.
At least, I felt that way.
So many memories of my childhood came rushing back. Nothing smelled like the Pennsylvania Wilds. I had tried to describe it to people in Vegas a million times before, but there weren’t really any words for it. We didn’t even really have grass there, though. Being out amongst the trees and mountain laurel, the flowing water of a million underground springs, it made you feel so blessed. Like something bigger put all this stuff here just for you. Bigger than the people who put up the casinos and high rise apartments. Bigger than the guy who dug a hole in our yard and plopped in an apple tree because I wanted one. It never really did thrive out there, but that’s what happens when you try and use your money to play God.
