Judas: Indignant Few MC Book 1, page 12
I spun her around and held her close, our faces nearly touching. “That’s what I’m told,” I said with a wink. “I don’t think either one of us had much say in it.”
“Why do you still give a damn about me after all these years?” she asked. “Why are you the only person who cares?”
“Am I not good enough?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said, her lips turning into a pout. “If anything, it’s the opposite.” I just laughed and hung my head, happy to finally be near her, happy that whatever pent-up anger she had toward me was just probably from her lack of sleep. I pulled her tighter, letting her feel exactly what effect her grinding was having on me. She bit her lip and moaned a little. I’d never heard that moan from her before, and Lord knows I’d heard a lot in all my years of cyberstalking her.
“I think your phone’s ringing,” she whispered in a voice that was equal parts sexy and amused.
“Fuck it,” I said as my phone vibrated in my pocket. “Everything I care about is in this room.” She looked at me like I was kidding, but I wasn’t. My crew. My family. The woman of my dreams. My motorcycle was parked safely in the garage; I’d buy another one if it meant I got to spend another minute tangled up with this wild beauty, and that’s about the most intense compliment I could think of. I didn’t need to tell her though.
I probably looked like a damn fool, stepping all over both of our feet as we danced a couple songs. My phone wouldn’t quit, though.
“I appreciate the vibration. It’s very thoughtful,” she said, “but if you’re not going to answer it, I will.” She reached her hand in the wrong pocket, grazing my stiff cock as she giggled. “Oops.”
“You better be careful,” I said. “That thing hasn’t felt a hand other than my own in a pretty long time. It’s probably liable to explode if you rub it the wrong way.”
“What’s a pretty long time?” she asked. “A day? A week?” I shook my head. “A month?”
I didn’t know the exact day it was, but it was shortly after Betty Sue and I broke up, and I tried to get my rebound on with as many club sluts as I could handle. It was an oddly unsatisfying phase, and it was probably close to a year ago.
“Oh my god, you’re like a virgin all over again,” she teased, dropping her jaw dramatically. “I don’t know how I feel about stealing your innocence.”
“You’re still gonna do it anyway, right?” I asked, raising my eyebrow. She wasn’t stealing anything from me except my heart. She might have porn star experience, but I knew my way around. I might even have a trick or two up my sleeve she’d never experienced before.
“Oh definitely. That phone is going to drive me fucking nuts, though. Will you get it?”
I didn’t recognize the number when I pulled my phone out of my pocket. I handed it to her, not even thinking twice. I had nothing to hide from her.
“Hello?” she asked into the phone. A few seconds passed and she rolled her eyes and covered the receiver. “This is gonna be fun,” she said to me with a wink.
21
Athena
I knew enough about Betty Sue just by the things Isaac had told me and the way she acted when I met her earlier that this bitch had to go. She wasn’t going to play cock-block, and she sure as hell had no right to be leeching off Judas anymore. Why nobody had stepped in sooner was beyond me. It was like I was back here for a reason, not just because I was hiding out, not just because my brother dragged me here. My people needed me. The club needed me.
This man I loved needed me. Holy fuck. I’d have to get back to that thought later.
Right now, I needed to shut this shit show down.
“What are you trying to pull, bitch?” I asked. She was wailing into the phone like a crazy person, not making any coherent sort of sentences. “You need to stop calling. It’s time for you to leave my man alone.” That was an intense choice of words. I could always say I was joking, or I was just doing what needed to be done. I kind of had a feeling I meant it though. He looked about as confused as I did at my outburst.
“Help!” she screamed. “Please, I just need help.”
“Damn right you do. Maybe you should be calling Jesus instead, Betty Sue.”
The way she was sobbing was over the top, bordering hysterical. She sounded like she was out of breath. Who goes running at midnight?
“I’m serious,” she said. “I think someone drugged me.” I wanted to just brush her off; she was, after all, a huge fan of drugs, and very well may have drugged herself, but the way she was crying, she sounded like a genuine woman in distress. I might be a coldhearted bitch, but I couldn’t just let someone suffer. I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight if I knew she was in danger. “I need someone to come get me.”
“Where are you?” I asked. Of all the damn things in the world I wanted to be doing right now, taking care of Judas’s ex was nowhere on that list. Nobody in this room was sober enough to be driving around picking up skanks. We already had more than enough here in my opinion anyway. At the very least, I could call her a cab though. They could take her right back to whatever crazy farm she escaped from.
“Isaac,” she kept shouting. “Isaac.”
“No, you called the wrong twin, you sicko,” I said. “What do you want me to do?” I asked Judas. “Your psycho ex keeps asking for Isaac.” As if I said Bloody Mary into the mirror too many times, he appeared right next to me. He grabbed the phone out of my hand and promptly hung up.
“I’ll go take care of it,” he said. “I only had a couple of beers. Crazy bitch hopped in my truck earlier today. She was on some bad shit. I took her to my place to sleep it off. I didn’t know what else to do. Didn’t think you needed her running around here.”
I was thoroughly confused. Was she really that high all the time that she could mistake this skinny dweeb for his hunky twin? Was there more to this story than I was aware? The look on Judas’s face was stone-cold. He didn’t say anything, just snatched his phone back from his brother and turned and walked to the bar.
“It’s complicated,” Isaac said to me. “I’m just looking out for him.” I never knew what to believe coming out of this guy’s mouth, but I wasn’t trying to let this situation take up more space in my head than it already was.
He walked out the door and nobody really gave him a second thought. I had a strange feeling ‘it’s complicated’ was an understatement. There had to be a reason why they kept this guy around; I just really couldn’t put my finger on it.
I followed Judas to the bar. He sat with a full bottle of beer in front of him, slowly peeling off the label.
“Frustrated?” I asked, offering him a thin smile.
“I’m sorry, Athena,” he said. “This shit isn’t none of your concern.”
“Oh it is,” I said, grabbing the bottle from his hand and pressing it to my lips. “Y’all brought me here? It’s all my concern now.”
22
Athena
I took his hand in mine, squeezing it. Everything was starting to make perfect sense. For the first time in a long time, I felt needed. I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be. My fans, they might have enjoyed my body, got pleasure from the things I did on camera, and hell, they might have even felt a connection to me, but being back at home was real. My love for him was real. My heart was in this club. This was where I belonged, even if it meant sleeping with one eye open and facing down the demons I left behind.
They needed me as much as I needed them.
“I’m sorry I said all that stuff. I didn’t cause a problem, did I?” I didn’t care if I did, but burning bridges was my style. He took people in his life more seriously. Relationships more seriously. I’m sure it had something to do with his parents and that factory shooting all those years ago. He didn’t do well with people leaving.
“We’ve been done for over a year,” he said. “You’re probably gonna think I’m nuts, but I just don’t know how to get her away from me. I don’t touch her. I’m not nice to her. Only thing I do is pay her bills while she tries to get back on her feet. I feel like I’m responsible for her somehow.”
“You do what?” I stammered. No wonder the bitch wouldn’t leave. She had a free ride.
He shrugged his shoulders. “It’s just what men do. She’s got issues.”
“We all have issues. She has a free meal ticket and no responsibilities. That doesn’t sound like issues to me. You still love her?” I couldn’t rightly think of any reason why in my mind that he would keep doing that for someone unless he still loved her. Maybe I was overstepping.
“I don’t think I ever did,” he said. “Guess I just didn’t want to bail on her. I just want to be a good person, Athena.”
I remembered clearly the day we picked him up from juvenile detention. The way he looked right now, hunched up, distant, like he was wearing the guilt of the world, it reminded me so much of that day. “You are a good person. You’ve always been a good person. That’s why you’re a magnet for bad. People know they can walk all over you. She’s gotta go. Isaac, too. Those two are playing you like a fool.”
“He’s my brother, Athena. He’s my blood.”
“These men are your brothers,” I said, pointing around the room. “These men would die for you. They’d kill for you. They might fuck with your ex, but only because they’re assholes, not because they’re trying to hurt you.”
“You sound like your mother,” he said.
“Worst pick up line ever, dude.” Yet, I knew exactly what I was saying. I wore it well. I’d heard the pep talk many times before. Never thought I was going to have to use it. Never thought I’d be back here repeating history, but I knew it was right where I belonged.
He raised his eyebrow and shot me a sideways smile. He was attractive all the time, but when he smiled at me, I probably would’ve been inclined to take off my panties and hand them to him if I was wearing any. Seeing him happy was like being a part of a secret club, being a part of some inside joke. I wondered if I had what it took to experience that every day. I knew I would fight like hell to make it happen if he gave me the chance.
“I don’t do pick up lines.” He reached for my barstool, and pulled it closer to his effortlessly, his corded biceps rippling as I whooped in shock. He put his hand on my thigh, the warmth of his touch burning through the flimsy fabric of my dress. “You know how crazy you’re making me?”
“I like crazy,” I purred. “You know that.”
He cracked his neck and licked his lips. His grip grew tighter, his hand moving up my thigh, closer and closer to the point of no return. I wasn’t chickening out if he wasn’t.
That look he was giving me was almost scary, like the calm before a storm that I was grossly underprepared for. The hairs on my arm stood up. I placed my hand on top of his, giving him the nod. I was ready to go right now. Everyone in the room was irrelevant. I couldn’t even hear the music over the pounding of my heart in my ears. “You want to go?” he asked.
I couldn’t get up from my stool fast enough, damn near taking out the entire row, nearly tripping over my feet as he grabbed my arm to steady me. So much for a stealthy exit. I couldn’t care less what any of these clowns had to say, though. This was how it was going to be now.
His hand cupped my ass as we walked down the hallway, his firm possessive touch enough to bring a moan to his lip. Judas’ touch was unlike any other one I’d felt, men or women’s. Judas’ touch was real. It wasn’t just fun and games.
Nothing about this situation was fun and games, even though I was certain that whatever happened behind that bedroom door was going to probably be the most fun I’ve had in a long time.
Every second felt like hours as he fumbled with the key, and when the door finally swung open, I couldn’t control myself. I grabbed his face, pressing his lips to mine for the first time ever. I moaned, feeling his tongue hungrily making its way into my mouth as his hands traveled up the back of my thighs, pulling my dress up with them. I couldn’t remember if I’d ever been kissed like this before in my life. I couldn’t remember anything before this kiss, though, his touch, his passion, his hunger for me literally leaving me breathless. This was what a kiss was supposed to feel like. Like the universe aligned just for the two of us. My legs were growing weak, my knees about to give out. I was overwhelmed, blushing, pressing my hips into his, and we hadn’t even made it to second base.
I’d thought about this day, fantasized about him many times before, tried to picture exactly how it would’ve went down, if it’d ever went down, but that was all a distant fantasy. A never going to happen kind of scenario. I had no idea what I did to deserve my dreams coming true, I sure as hell hadn’t been a good girl.
As I pulled his shirt up over his head, I quivered at the sight of his tattooed torso, chiseled pecs, abs hard and rippling under the touch of my hand. There was more to him than a perfect body, something about him so different than the kinds of bodies I’d been with, the fabricated type. He wasn’t the kind of man who’s only responsibility was to work out and look good for a camera.
He was 100% real man. That thick layer of chest hair I raked my fingers through, the scar on his collarbone from who knows what sort of dirty work he did, every minor imperfection on his skin only added to his sexiness. He wasn’t caked in make-up or orange with spray tan. Judas had a biker tan, the kind that came from riding around in the sun in a t-shirt. So real. So gorgeous.
His callused hands, traveling up my spine, unclasping my bra as my tits sprang free.
“These are nice,” he said, holding them in his hands like he was comparing a set of cantaloups. I gasped at his touch, his grip firm as he circled my nipples with this thumbs.
“You hate em?” I asked, looking him in the eye, suddenly self conscious.
He shook his head, and tenderly pressed his lip to my nipple. “There’s only one thing I hate about you, Athena, and it’s more my problem than yours.” He moved his lips to my other nipple, circling with his tongue until I nearly collapsed in his grip. He had a wide smile on his face, squeezing my breasts tighter and tighter. “It’s the knowing that the harder I squeeze you, the faster you’re going to slip through my fingers.”
He let go of my breasts, and I stepped back, my body ready to go, but my heart feeling like he just drove a stake through it.
“I know this is fun and games to you, Athena, but this is my fucking life. I can’t just chop off my hair and put on a pair of sunglasses and move across the country.”
“Judas,” I said, stroking the stubble of his beard with the back of my hand. I was holding back a tear. Nobody had ever cared about me this much before. I felt it in his presence, read it all over his face. “I’m here now. I’m not going away. Can’t you just live for the moment?”
“With you? No,” he said. He picked his shirt up off the ground. “This was a bad idea.”
“What the fuck?” I shouted, charging after him as he walked to the door. “I thought this wasn’t a game, Judas. You can’t just play with my mind and fucking leave.”
“I’m just being a good man,” he said. “I’ll crash somewhere else until you figure out what you’re going to do. Help yourself to whatever.”
I grabbed him by the arm, harder than I intended to, my rage overcoming me, my need for him to stay, stay here and either fight with me or fuck me, I didn’t care at this point.
“What’d you learn from, your dad?” he asked. He jerked his wrist from my grip, and I stared at him in shock. He cupped my chin in his hand, watching the tears flow from my eyes. “You’re not going to come up here and make a mess of my life, Athena. Stop fucking with my head.”
“You think you’re being a good man?” I asked. “You people are the reason why I’m the way I am. You want me to stay here? Give me one good reason.” He stared back at me, his eyebrow twitching. I could almost see his mind turning over a million clicks per second as he licked his lips.
He pushed me onto the bed with a swiftness that alarmed me and began to unbuckle his belt. I reached for his zipper, but he grabbed my wrists in his hand, pinning them over my head. “There is no reasoning with you, Athena,” he said. “I learned that a long time ago.” He pulled my panties off to the side, sliding a finger into my wetness as I trembled, pinned to the bed by his tight grip. “It doesn’t matter what you say or do, you always get your own way, don’t you?”
My lips turned up into a smile. I raised my eyebrow. I nodded, easing my thighs open wider as he tugged down my panties and tossed them off to the side. The way he was looking at me like I held the secrets of the world between my legs, staring at me only in my eyes as he took off his jeans. I bit my lip and stared at the rock hard cock pointing at me, oozing with precum as he pumped it in his hand.
“No,” he said, grabbing my chin in his hand once again. “You want me to give you a reason to stay? We’re doing it on my terms. Now look me in the eye.” My eyelids fluttered, my heart racing. He was intense in the way that he knew exactly how to grab me, not hard enough to hurt me, but just enough to let me know who was in charge. There was something so intimate about the way his bright blue eyes burned through mine as his hand explored my slit, thumb circling my clit, the weight of his cock resting on my thigh. My back arched into the mattress and I felt my eyes roll back in my head.
“Fine,” he said, releasing his grip on me as I snapped to attention.
“You’re mean,” I whined.
“I want you here with me,” he said.
“I’ve always been here with you,” I whispered, a lump rising in my throat. “Every time I closed my eyes, no matter where I was. You’ve always been on my mind, Judas. I never left you. I just left.”
He looked stunned, and I was stunned too at how easily the words fell out of my mouth. Every one of them were true, though. I’d never wanted anyone more than him. I just didn’t want the bag of shit that came along with him. In my mind, there was never any man who could measure up to him.
