Carter's #Undoing, page 4
“You’re not hanging out with your brothers tonight?”
I shook my head. “No. Just us.” And I was glad for that. Caden was hanging out with his friends, and Crayson was doing whatever it was that Crayson did when he left the house with a smirk and a head nod.
Instead of leaving to finish getting ready for the party he and my mom were going to, my dad came and sat beside me on the couch.
“You’ve been spending a lot of time with Serenity. Are you just friends?”
“Yes. She’s my best friend. You know that.” I kept my eyes pinned to that window, because if I looked at my dad, I knew he’d see right through me. I’d had a crush on Serenity before I even knew who she was and my crush only grew the longer we remained friends.
I watched Serenity approach my house, trying my best to maintain my excitement. Clearly, I wasn’t doing a good job because my dad started joking around all the way up until I opened the door to let her in.
“Dad, chill with the teasing.”
Instead of responding to me, he just held up his hands in defeat. I almost stumbled over my feet to get the door, worried my dad was going to try and beat me to it and tell her something I definitely wasn’t ready to tell her.
“Hey, Carter,” she said, her voice sounding as happy as I felt.
“Hey, Serenity.” My eyes quickly went up and down the dress she was wearing. Serenity wore dresses to school all the time, but this one was different. It was sparkly and she looked really pretty in it. Then again, she always looked great in anything she wore.
“Hi, Mr. Madden,” she said after she stepped into the house and saw my dad.
“Hello, Serenity. I hear you and Carter have a fun night planned.”
I rolled my eyes at my dad before giving him a death glare. “We’re just watching the countdown in different states,” I explained. “That’s all.”
My dad smiled. “Sounds fun.”
“Mason, leave those kids alone,” my mom yelled from somewhere in the house.
I didn’t stay in the living room long enough to continue to provide entertainment for my parents, but instead, I dragged Serenity to the basement where I had already set up snacks and Gatorade.
“Are you sure your parents are okay with me being here while they are gone?”
I shrugged. “Why wouldn’t they be? You’re over here all the time. New Year’s Eve isn’t any different.”
She gave me a funny look that I couldn't quite figure out before she went to sit on the couch. I sat down beside her and cut on the television, laughing over how crazy this Y2K thing had gotten.
“I bet it won’t be any different than any other New Year’s,” I stated. “But what do I know.”
“Not much,” Serenity teased. “Can’t believe I used to think you were one of the smartest people in our grade.”
“I am one of the smartest.”
She rolled her eyes. “Humble much?”
“Around other people, yeah. But you know me, and considering you’re one of the other smart people in our class, I know you understand.”
She smiled. “I guess you’re right.”
After my parents left, we settled more comfortably into the couch and continued our normal conversation. Being around Serenity was usually like second nature for me, but tonight, something felt different.
I was fidgeting in my seat, and it seemed the more I tried to get comfortable, the closer she dipped into the couch toward me. I noticed her try to scoot back to her seat a couple times, but it was no use. Either we didn’t want to separate or we were drawn together more than usual.
“I almost forgot,” Serenity said. “Did you hear that your brother got caught kissing in the alley outside of Mack’s Wings a couple hours ago?”
“Who was he kissing?” I didn’t have to ask which brother because I knew it was Crayson. Anytime a brother of mine was doing something he shouldn’t have been doing, it was always Crayson.
“He was kissing Shelia, but last I heard on the walk over, Linc hadn’t found out about it yet.”
I shook my head because not only did my brother not know how to keep his mouth to himself, but Linc was one of Caden’s best friends. “All the girls in the county and my brother chooses to kiss Shelia.”
“I wasn’t surprised to hear it. Your brother likes every girl he sees,” Serenity said.
My ears perked up. “Has he ever made it seem like he likes you?”
She scrunched her nose. “Do you mean in a friend way? Or the like me, like me way?”
“Definitely the second one.”
She shook her head. “No, he hasn’t. Pretty sure I’m the only girl Crayson sees like a sister.”
Because he knows I’ll kill him if he touches you. “Good.”
“Right.” She searched my eyes. “Good.”
She didn’t say anything else, but she didn’t turn back to the TV either. I wasn’t sure if it was how soft her lips looked after she’d put on some cherry Chapstick, or if it was all the talk about kissing and Y2K that suddenly made me want to be bolder than I ever had before and finally make the move I’d been too nervous to make before this moment.
I’d thought about kissing Serenity more times than I could count, but we were friends. Best friends. And best friends didn’t kiss. Or at least, I didn’t think they did. My brain was getting fuzzy as the two of us continued to get closer to each other, neither of us seeming to have much control over the situation.
There were times throughout our friendship where Serenity and I would just sit in silence, and I never thought too much about it until Caden hung out with us one day and waited until we got home to tease me about all the times Serenity and I would stare at each other.
I remember he asked me how we were able to just look at each other without even speaking for so long, and I told him I hadn’t even noticed we did that. After that day, though, I paid attention to what Caden had said, and after hanging out with Serenity a few times, I realized he was right. Granted, we did a lot of talking and there wasn’t a sport we didn’t enjoy playing together, even if that only meant drawing in silence since Serenity loved to draw. But we also did a lot of staring and non-verbal communication. Like now …
“I want to ask you something,” I told her.
“What is it?” she asked, her eyes never leaving mine.
“Um.” I cleared my throat. “I don’t really know how to ask you.”
“Just ask me,” she encouraged.
I scooted closer to her on the couch, my heart beating out of my chest. “What if I ask you and you say no? What would happen to us?” I was talking in code, but it was Serenity. She knew my codes. Hell, she practically helped me create every one of them.
She smiled, gently touching my arm and sending a ripple of shocks through my body. “Carter, if you’re going to ask me what I think you’re going to ask, then the answer would be yes. And our friendship will be fine.”
“Good to know.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Serenity, is it okay if I kiss you?”
Her smile widened. “Yes, you can.”
Yes? She said yes? I almost jumped off the couch, but didn’t want to look like a lame. Instead, I settled for a non-committal, “Cool.”
I wasn’t even sure who leaned in first, but the next thing I knew, my lips were on hers, and I felt every hair on my body stand on full alert. It only lasted a few seconds, but man, were they an intense few seconds.
“Wow,” I whispered.
“That was my first kiss,” she admitted bashfully.
“Mine too,” I told her. “I’ve had a crush on you for so long, I kinda can’t believe we finally kissed.” I was being way too honest, but hey, it was her.
She studied my eyes. “You never told me you had a crush on me.”
“I just did,” I pointed out.
“You’re right.” She adjusted herself so that she was facing me even more. “So I guess it’s a good time to admit I have a crush on you, too.”
I grinned, and I was sure it was in that stupid, lopsided way that I hated. “If we’ve both admitted to liking each other, then maybe Y2K really is an important New Year.” Definitely one I’ll never forget.
“I think so,” she said with a laugh. “Why didn’t you mention your crush to me sooner?”
“I didn’t know if you liked me the same way,” I confessed. “If you didn’t, things would have been weird between us and you’re my best friend. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“The same reason,” she professed. “Not even sure how we managed to admit it tonight, but I’m glad we did.”
“Me too.” So damn glad.
“Promise me that we’ll always tell each other everything no matter how nervous we are to talk about it,” she suggested.
I shrugged. “Sure. Seems easy enough.”
“I mean it, Carter.” She stuck out her pinky. “Promise me that no matter what it is going on in our lives, we’ll always be honest with each other. Even if it hurts to do so.”
“I promise.” I took her pinky in mine, meaning every word of my promise. Serenity had that look in her eye when she wanted to make sure I understood her point, and as much as I wanted to pick up where we left off, I knew I wasn’t getting any more kisses out of her tonight unless I let her talk.
And talk she did. All the way up to the countdown. By the time it struck midnight, I didn’t care that she was still talking. We hadn’t discussed if our kiss was a one-time thing, but the way her lips met mine while the cheering from the TV echoed in the basement proved to me that it wasn’t. She was just as lost in the kiss as I was.
Just to be sure we were on the same page, I slightly pulled away to give us a chance to breathe. “Happy New Year,” I muttered breathlessly.
She quickly returned my words before pulling me back in for a kiss. Neither of us knew what we were doing, but it didn’t make our kisses any less special. Kissing Serenity was … everything. In fact, I knew the only reason I would never forget this night was because I got to spend it with her. Any experience with Serenity was worth remembering for a lifetime.
Five
SERENITY
* * *
I hadn’t spoken to Carter in hours, ever since I learned that I was literally in a cabin surrounded by tall, wide trees and deep craters. When we arrived back to his home, I hadn’t even known what to think about where I was at or how long he planned to keep me here.
A part of me worried that he would try to handcuff me to the couch again, but he must have sensed that I could only take so much and he let me roam around freely. His only restriction: don’t go in the basement or his bedroom on the second floor.
Considering a part of me was still in shock about everything, I agreed and took the chance to explore inside. The cabin was nicer than I originally thought it was from my handcuffed position on the couch prior.
I surveyed the entire main level first, including the back deck that overlooked a cliff and what I assumed was a hot tub beneath a covered tarp. From the looks of it, Carter spent quite a bit of time out here. It looked well used with shards of wood unpeeling and the lone wooden chair facing the farthest point of the deck.
The kitchen and living room were also cozy, and I was sure under different circumstances, I would find being here relaxing. Unfortunately, I wasn’t granted that luxury, and although I hadn’t seen Carter since we got back, I couldn’t wait any longer.
I knocked on the closed door of his office, one of the rooms I was surprised wasn’t on his restriction list. He gave me permission to enter almost immediately. As I opened the door, I found myself sucking in my breath, nervous to even talk with him.
“I have to take a shower,” I blurted out. I hadn’t had one in days which was so unlike me. I loved to shower at least twice a day if I wasn’t too busy with work or running errands.
“You know where your bag is. Towel and soap are in the linen closet next to the bathroom.” He kept his back turned to me, staring out the window. We’d been together less than forty-eight hours, but I’d seen his back more than his face.
“Are you going to turn around?”
“No.”
I let out a frustrated exhale. “Well, what about shampoo, conditioner, and moisturizer? I need to put something on my hair after I wash it.”
“You’ll find a small bottle of shampoo and conditioner in the closet, but I don’t have any moisturizer.”
I frowned. “Do you have any coconut oil?”
“Yes. You’ll find that in the kitchen.”
“Okay.”
“How are your feet?” he asked.
I glanced down at my bare feet. “Fine, why?”
“You were running in the woods without any shoes. Are your feet cut up?”
“No.” Honestly, I wasn’t even sure that was true. I felt like adrenaline was still pumping through my veins. But I wasn’t a fan of wearing shoes anyway, so my feet could handle more than they probably looked like they could.
“You’ll find some shoes in your bag.”
“Got it.” I closed the door after me and went to the kitchen, trying not to let it bother me that there were more locks on the door than I recalled being there before. Either that, or I hadn’t paid much attention in the first place.
I found the coconut oil first, and then also snagged an egg, avocado, mayo, olive oil, and honey, along with some Ziploc bags, figuring the best thing to do would be to make my own hair mask and moisturizer concoction.
It wasn’t until I was halfway up the stairs that I realized Carter had clearly had all the locks on the front door unlocked after he uncuffed me. He probably knew I’d try to run. And the fact that he felt like he knew what my moves would be made me slightly uneasy. It wasn’t fair that he pick up on certain things after all this time.
The bedroom he told me I was staying in was down the hall from his. It was much larger than I expected with a king-sized bed and a chair in the corner. There wasn’t a dresser or anything, but my bag had been placed on the bed and I noticed hangers in the closet.
I hadn’t asked if we’d both be sharing the bathroom across the hall, but had my answer after I got what I needed out of the closet and locked the bathroom door. The medicine cabinet was empty, the only items being an unopened toothbrush and tube of toothpaste. He probably has a bathroom in his bedroom. Carter seemed to be a minimalist, but I would expect more than two items in a bathroom he often used.
I need this, I thought, admiring the waterfall shower. It was an indulgence I hadn’t expected to find, but grateful for since I loved a good shower head, especially the waterfall kind. I opened all the products and got to mixing the ingredients for my hair. I’d been wearing my hair natural for years, and typically liked to use my personal mix of products to ensure that it stayed moisturized and naturally shiny. However, I also loved going to the salon for a good deep condition, steaming, and styling, but that wasn’t possible given the situation.
And you still have no idea what that situation is. It seemed no matter how many times I tried to calm my nerves, they were still all over the place. And rightfully so. Nothing about this was normal and I hated being kept in the dark.
You should be used to that by now, my inner thoughts taunted as I removed my dress, the material sticking to parts of my body, proof that I’d been wearing it for entirely too long. I had a few scratches too from running through the trees. When the water hit my body, I welcomed the hot liquid, relishing in the only release I’d felt since my world had been turned on its axel.
It was hard for me to believe that I’d been enjoying Crayson and Jordyn’s wedding days prior, only to come face-to-face with him. A man I hadn’t seen in so long, I’d almost convinced myself that our friendship hadn’t been real. Our love hadn’t actually existed. Deep down, I always knew I couldn’t erase Carter completely from my memories, but damn had I tried. Hoped to ease the pain I felt every time I closed my eyes, and even more so when they were open.
At one point in my life, Carter Madden consumed every thought I had. Yet, being here with him now felt off. It felt confusing. To be faced with your past in a way that felt like the opening of a horror film right before the hero or heroine is faced with a life-changing decision to make that may or may not save his or her life was unconceivable. He’d done this to me. He’d done this to us. And now, I had to spend the next month in seclusion for what? Why did my life have to change for his mistakes?
When I got out of the shower, I knew something wasn’t right. Well, everything was wrong, but I felt worse than I had before I showered. I made quick work of putting on the cocoa butter lotion that I found in the cabinet and threw on a pair of fresh panties, lounge pants, and tank that was packed in the bag Avery put together for me.
I grabbed the hair moisturizer I made and a towel, with every intention on sitting on the bed and combing out my hair like I usually would. Except, the moment I stepped into the hall, I slipped, realizing that I’d forgotten to wipe off my feet before stepping into the hallway.
I didn’t so much as let out a scream when I fell on the hardwood floor, but Carter must have heard me because he was up the stairs and by my side seconds later.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
I glanced up at him, grateful he wasn’t turning away from me like he had been most the time I’d been around. “I think my shower was too hot. I’m a little dizzy and I still have to do my hair.”
“Maybe you should rest and do your hair later.”
I shook my head. “If I don’t do it now, it will just get matted and I’ll have to wash it all over again just to manage it.” My voice was getting higher, squeaky even. I heard myself, but couldn’t figure out how to calm down.
Leaning against the wall, I tried to get my breathing under control as well. “I don’t know what’s happening.”
“You’re having a panic attack,” he said. “Here, lean forward and let me slide behind you.”
I did as he instructed without even thinking, giving him enough room to get behind me.
