Carter's #Undoing, page 3
It was so quiet in the room, I could hear myself breathing, which meant if I could hear myself, someone else could, too. Get it together. Figure this out, I encouraged, turning my head a little more and scooting upward so that I was able to see farther over my shoulder. My eyes reached the nearby chair first. It was the same brown fabric as the couch and similar in color to the coffee table that was clear of any magazines or remotes for a television. Items I would expect to see on a coffee table.
I saw the kitchen next, the open floor plan revealing an island and a couple stools as well as a table and all the equipment you’d find in a kitchen. When twisting my head became too difficult, I laid it back down and tried my best to gather my thoughts. Shit. Try to remember something, Serenity.
I thought back to Crayson and Jordyn’s wedding because everything before that was clear to me. How beautiful Jordyn had looked. How happy Crayson had been. Next, I recalled how much fun I’d been having during their reception and how elated I was when I heard that Caden was going to propose to Cordelia.
As a matter of fact, I was so excited for her, I followed Avery to Caden’s home to see if he needed any help with his proposal. Yet, the moment we walked into his home, something felt off. I hadn’t known why at first, yet, the last person I expected to see standing across from Caden was—
“Carter.” My voice was shaky as the rest of the night came flooding back to me in a rushing river of emotions.
“You feel me here with you, don’t you?” The voice cut through my thoughts almost as if he was mocking me. Did I feel him in the room? Of course I did. And I didn’t have to look over my shoulder to know exactly where he stood. He was by the window in the kitchen. The same window my eyes had almost traveled to moments before I convinced myself that twisting my head farther was too difficult. Now, I assumed that my psyche hadn’t wanted to lay eyes on him just yet. Especially when he was the reason I was handcuffed and I obviously had no recollection of ever leaving Caden’s house.
“Tell me where am I?” I demanded. As I glanced over my shoulder in his direction, I noticed his back was turned to me.
“I can’t do that,” he said.
“You can’t do that!” I shouted. “Carter, where the hell are we, and why am I handcuffed to this damn couch?”
“What’s the last thing you remember?” he asked, his back still turned.
“I remember slapping you for showing back up like this.” Hence, my palms being so sore.
“What else?”
I exhaled. “What else matters? Un-handcuff me and we’ll talk.”
“No.”
“No! What do you mean no? Where are Caden and Avery? Where is everybody?”
He didn’t say anything, and I felt my blood rise. “Did you hurt them?”
“I would never hurt them. Caden and Avery are fine, they just aren’t here.”
I tried to look past him and out that window he was standing by. “And where is here exactly?”
“What’s the last thing you remember?” he asked again.
“I remember arguing with you and being pissed that you showed up like you did. I remember Avery taking me down to Caden’s kitchen and making me some tea to calm down, and then …” My voice trailed off since my thoughts stopped there.
“And then what?”
My breathing was labored because nothing was making sense. “How did I even end up here? And why don’t I remember getting here?”
“I have some evil people after me and I brought you here because your life is in danger.”
“Who’s after you?” I asked. “And why am I in danger?”
“Because they would get to you to get to me.”
What? “How would they even know who I am? I haven’t seen you in over fifteen years.”
“Trust me. They know how important you are to me.”
I wanted to slap him again for that comment. “Don’t you mean were important to you? Past tense.”
“No. You still are.” There was something in the way he said it so matter-of-factly that made me forget for a millisecond that I’d basically been kidnapped and was still cuffed to the couch.
“What about my life in New York? My job? I can’t believe Caden or the others would have let you take me.”
“Caden understands the severity of this situation, and my brothers, Malik and Micah, will make sure the rest of the family is safe. You’re my main concern. You have clothes here, so you can change out of your dress when I’m confident you understand why you’re staying. I gave Avery enough cash to buy you clothes for a month.”
“A month? Gave Avery money?” I turned my head even farther. “You don’t even know Avery.”
“We met months ago, but that’s not important. To answer your previous questions, we’re in the middle of nowhere, so don’t think about running away. And the tea I had Avery give you is why you were asleep for the past twenty-two hours.”
I dropped my head back on the couch because clearly, I must be having a nightmare that felt real as hell. I could barely make out the device Carter had pulled from a drawer in the kitchen, but next thing I heard was a recording of Avery and Caden telling me that I needed to trust Carter. Caden confirmed what Carter had said about his brothers protecting the rest of the family, and Avery mentioned something about Carter being a friend of her father’s. Hearing their voices was somewhat comforting, but I still had more questions than answers.
“If someone is after you, why wouldn’t you just go to the police?” I asked. As suspected, he didn’t answer me which only annoyed me even more. “Do you plan on keeping your back to me the entire time I’m cuffed to this couch?”
He glanced over his shoulder. “Do you plan to try and run if I uncuff you?”
“No,” I answered quickly.
“I’ll let you free when I believe that you won’t overreact.”
Me? Overreact? It’s not like you kidnapped me and chained me up or anything. “No, you’ll let me free now or I’m screaming to the top of my lungs for help.” When he didn’t make a move to release me, I kept good on my promise and started screaming. A large part of me was still in shock by what was happening and screaming felt good for my soul. Another part of me hoped that someone nearby heard me scream because although I trusted the Carter of my youth, this Carter seemed capable of shit I didn’t understand.
I yelled for what felt like thirty minutes, but had probably only been ten minutes tops before I stopped.
“Are you done?” he asked.
Since my throat was even more sore, I was done … for now. “I need some water.”
He nodded to a glass of water that was on the small table near the couch that I hadn’t noticed. Awkwardly, I did my best to lift the glass and ended up spilling more on my dress and the couch than I got in my mouth.
“I’ll get a towel.” It almost surprised me that he’d actually left me alone in the room. However, after a minute or so, my mind started racing even more.
“Oh fuck.” Judging by all the wood, I was in some sort of cabin. I’d always thought it would be cool to spend some time relaxing in a nice log cabin, but now that I was in one, it had lost all appeal. Every murder mystery or missing person documentary I’d ever watched floated through my mind as I stared at the wooden walls. Guy meets girl. Girl falls in love with guy. Guy disappears for years. Girl is left broken-hearted. Guy reappears and kidnaps girl. Girl is never found again. “Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”
“Why do you keep saying fuck?”
Shit. I hadn’t even heard him return.
“Are you going to kill me?” I asked with a forced laugh. “If so, just tell me. I mean, this situation is pretty damn unbelievable right now, so either I’m in a really fucked up nightmare, or you’re going to kill me.” Joking had never been my go-to response when I was nervous, but apparently, I was developing all kinds of new traits.
“Neither,” he answered, approaching with the towel. Since I’d only seen his back since I’d awakened, I was caught off guard as he walked up to me and began dabbing the couch and top of my dress. He was standing too close for me to get a good look, and the light was still too low on the side of the room I was on.
I cleared my throat. “For someone who claims he isn’t trying to kill me, this room is kinda creepy and dark.”
Surprising me again, he reached his hand on the other side of the lamp on the table and picked up a key.
“Was that key there the entire time?” I asked as he began uncuffing me.
“Yes.”
“And you let me sit here and beg you to release me when the key was within my reach? Why did you handcuff me in the first place?”
“Didn’t want you to hurt yourself or freak out when you woke up.”
I blinked slowly. “Right. I can see that worked out real well. The me not freaking out part.”
“Something tells me, that part is far from over,” he said. Hearing that last click to signify both my wrists were free was the best sound I’d ever heard. I hadn’t thought about my next move past this point. However, when he reached over to cut on that lamp on the table, I jumped off the couch and went straight to the front door. Once opened, I ran down the porch and into an unknown world since I had no clue where I was and didn’t have time to analyze the fact that I was clearly in the woods and not in a city.
I ran faster than I’d ever run in my life. Passing through enormous pine trees, branches crunching under my feet, I realized for the first time that I didn’t have on any shoes. I heard my dress tear as it caught on branches, but I didn’t slow my stride. Didn’t even know if Carter was behind me and didn’t care.
I hadn’t been able to tell from the window earlier if the sun was rising or setting since my time clock was a little off, but it was rising. Now that I was outside, I knew that from the way the sunlight was hitting the trees. In a different situation, I might have thought the scenery beautiful. Peaceful even.
And if I hadn’t been so hell-bent on leaving Carter and that creepy cabin, maybe the sane part of my brain would have realized it had been way too easy to escape just now.
Four
CARTER
* * *
Glancing at my watch, I wondered how many seconds I should wait before I went after her. She was in shock, and honestly, I hadn’t expected anything different. That’s why I left the front door unlocked.
I’d known Serenity would need to try and leave the confines of the cabin. Even with the recording that Caden and Avery had graciously done, she was in disbelief of everything going on. And why shouldn’t she be? I was a stranger to her now. Someone who resembled the man she once knew, but wasn’t him.
I reminded myself to tread as carefully as I could when I stepped onto the front porch and headed in the direction she’d gone. I could still see her darting between the trees, so she wasn’t too far. Using a skill I learned from years of discreetly honing in on my target, I moved through the spruce trees with ease due to years of knowing every plant and path on my property. I liked the wooded area around me to look deserted, as if the grounds hadn’t been occupied in years, which meant, I had to get creative and know my surroundings.
“Serenity, I’m not far behind you. Just making my presence known so that I don’t spook you.”
“Newsflash, Carter,” she yelled without slowing her pace, “telling me you’re right behind me when I just escaped is eerier than you following me in silence.”
I continued to follow her for another couple minutes, her pace growing more frantic the deeper the bush got. I could catch up with her if I wanted to. I could stop her before she reached the part of the woods that would bring a chill to her bones unlike any she’d felt since awakening.
In the back of my mind, I told myself that it was time to stop her before she hurt herself by venturing even farther into an unknown world for her. But before I could decide, the decision was snatched away when she reached the edge of my property.
Her body was moving up and down, proof that she was out of breath and caught off guard by the sight before her. Her bridesmaid dress was torn at the hem, and her hair that had been pulled up in a curly style was even more disheveled.
“I know this is a lot to take in,” I responded, slow in my approach but highly alert in case she chose to run again. “But it’s safer this way.”
“For you or for me?” she asked, her voice sounding distant and disconnected.
“For both of us,” I explained, stopping to stand beside her. When my arm accidentally brushed against hers, she swiftly moved to the side, her eyes never leaving the sight before her.
“Where are we?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
“I can’t tell you that,” I repeated just like I’d told her earlier.
She sighed. “What am I doing here, Carter? This isn’t normal. And just look at this.” She pointed her hand out before her, but I didn’t have to follow her hand when I knew precisely what she was seeing.
“Although I can’t tell you where we are for your own good, my property sits extremely far up in the mountains and is surrounded by steep cliffs, forested craters, and rocks that could slice a deer in half on impact. I’ve seen it happen.”
Standing close to the edge of one of the smaller cliffs on the property, she seemed so small and unsure of everything. She looked at me then, unshed tears brimming in her eyes. I wanted to tell her to let out. I wanted to tell her I’d be standing right here to wash them away. Yet, as her eyes slightly widened, I kept my mouth shut.
She observed me closely, my face unable to be hidden by the rising sun that was flickering throughout the trees behind us. She saw my face at Caden’s house, but the room was dark as was my cabin before she’d run off.
Now, in the natural light, I couldn’t hide my scars, each indentation on the largest mutilation on my face a reminder that it wasn’t playing with fire that burned you to your core. It was people. I was certain that human beings caused twice as much pain as fire did.
She wasn’t the only one able to get a better look though. I’d watched her while she was sleeping. Studied as much about her as I could without her waking up and catching me. Yet, this was different. We were seeing each other now in a way we hadn’t been granted in years, her rich, brown skin looking softer than I remembered.
Serenity had always had the warmest dark-honey eyes I’d ever seen, except now her eyes held a look of disbelief mixed with anger that I welcomed because I deserved it. Was the cause of it. Unlike now, in the past, I couldn’t recall her ever looking at me with pity. Sorrow even. Like she didn’t know whether to curse me out or comfort me from my inner demons.
The flex of her right hand caught my eye, but I’d been trained to see clearly out of my peripheral without taking my eyes off my target. In this case, Serenity was my mark. She may have wanted to slap me. Or maybe her hand was sore from smacking me at Caden’s place. Or she could be flexing out of frustration. I didn’t know which, but figured it was best for me to stand still. Let her work out whatever she had to before I led her back to the cabin. And she was going back to my cabin whether she wanted to or not. That wasn’t up for discussion.
I wasn’t sure what I expected her to do next. However, when she stepped closer to me and reached out to touch the very bottom of the scar on my face, I froze, my ability to hold my breath for an extended period working in my favor at the moment.
“Does it hurt?” she asked.
My eyes held hers. “Every second of every day,” I answered, my response holding a double meaning. My scar hurt like hell, but so did staring into the face of a woman I loved and not being able to tell her the words she needed. The answers she’d longed to hear for years.
Life could beat you down if you let it. And I’d let for a while, just to come on the other side a version of myself that I didn’t recognize but had to accept. That was the thing about life changing you. There was no going back to how things used to be, only forward into a fucked-up world that would try you every chance it got. The key was to find a peek of sunlight when days were cloudy and nights were pitch black. I hadn’t found too many glimpses of light, but looking at her right now? This was close.
Even before I’d left home, Serenity had been my saving grace. My best friend. My lover. My main supporter. The woman I would die for if I had to. Yet, loving me back then was easy. At least by my memory I assumed it was. There was no way she’d understand me now. No way she would forgive all the shit I’d done, and how could I even ask her to? How could I ask the woman who’d been my ray of sunshine throughout every dark and lonely day I’d had since leaving her to forgive me when I wasn’t worthy of her forgiveness?
“Tell me what it is, Carter,” she pleaded. “Tell me why I’m really here. Why you’ve been gone for so long.”
“I can’t,” I told her. Not yet. Honestly, I’d probably never tell her the full truth. I once promised her that there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t tell her, but I’d been young and hadn’t known that my future would require secrets I’d take to my grave.
When she dropped her hand from my face, her eyes growing angry as she muttered, “I’ll never forgive you for this,” I felt her truth in the syllable of every word.
I didn’t say anything as I watched her walk back in the direction of the cabin. What could I even say? I hadn’t apologized. I hadn’t explained everything I could. In fact, I’d shown up in her life, creating a hurricane of emotions, and then removed her from the life she knew to bring her to a remote wilderness with the only explanation being that I was here to save her life.
I was a bastard for what I was doing to her. The pain I caused leaving her. I knew it. She knew it. And for that reason, and that reason alone, she didn’t owe me shit.
* * *
Twenty years ago …
* * *
“Who are you waiting for?” my dad asked, watching me eye the window.
“Serenity,” I told him. “She’s coming over to watch the countdown.” It was New Year’s Eve and I was anxious for her to get here even though I saw her a couple days ago.
