Earthlings, page 9
“Really?”
“Look, I think it’s probably impossible. But I can ask. And even if we can’t go to the house, maybe we could visit the area and stay at an inn.”
“Wow, it would be totally amazing to actually go to Akishina! I want to stay in the silkworm room and go into the attic too! And I want to go down to the river where you used to light the fire to greet your ancestors. Oh, if I could even just go to see those mountains, it’d be such a lifesaver!”
“Hey look, I’m really not sure it can happen, you know. Long ago there was some trouble between my family and our relatives,” I explained, seeing he was getting his hopes up. Still, if it made him that happy, I thought, perhaps we might be allowed to stay in a local inn and go for walks, even if it was impossible to stay at the house.
My husband had been white as a sheet, but now his cheeks were flushed as he gesticulated wildly in his excitement. Just seeing him like this took me back to summer vacations at Akishina and how I used to get so excited playing on the veranda.
“You know what? Tomoya’s been fired from work, and he’s exhausted. He keeps going on about how he wants to spend some time in the countryside,” I began nervously that weekend when I saw my parents. It had been a while.
“Oh, the poor darling! Maybe he’s all depressed? That is a worry, isn’t it?”
Ever since my niece was produced, Mom had started speaking in a gooey sort of drawl.
From the direction of the sofa came the sound of my niece crying. My sister now lived in a condo she’d bought about five stations away and had come visiting today to show off the grandchild.
“And I’ll understand if it’s impossible, but . . .” I trailed off, unable to fully broach the subject.
“What is impossible?”
“Um, well . . . we’re talking of going away for a few days.”
“Lucky you. Childless couples have such a leisurely life,” my sister said, rubbing my niece’s back.
“Kise, really!” Mom chided.
My sister shrugged. “But I think going on a trip would be a good idea too. Don’t you, Hana?” My niece recoiled at the face suddenly looming large over her and twisted her body away, clinging to her teddy bear. “My friend couldn’t conceive for ages. But when they finally decided to take a vacation to relax together in a holiday villa, she got pregnant right away. It works better being surrounded by nature, you know.”
“I suppose so. Maybe it is a good idea. Have you got anywhere in mind?”
I immediately shook my head. “No. But a hot springs resort might be nice. We’d be able to take it easy there.”
“Oh, that sounds wonderful,” Mom said. “After all, you never did go on a honeymoon, did you? Go and have some fun.”
“Okay,” I said meekly.
Ever since the scandal with Yuu back when we were still in elementary school, Mom and Dad had never once mentioned the circle of relatives that included him in my presence. Even when my grandmother died when I was fifteen, they’d refused to take me to the funeral, telling me I had to focus on my exams. Later I overheard Kise and Mom saying that Yuu had been there, even though he was in the same year at school as me.
That hadn’t changed even after I married three years ago. They had apparently relaxed a tiny bit, since they had on occasion let slip mention of Uncle Teruyoshi or Aunt Mitsuko, and I’d been shocked to learn that Aunt Mitsuko had died years ago. But they never said anything about her son.
My sister sometimes gave me updates about Yuu when my parents were out, dropping comments casually as if to see whether I showed any reaction to his existence. I always tried not to move any facial muscles as I listened. Since my parents never spoke about him at all, ever, anything she said was a precious source of information, even if it was just a test.
According to my sister’s gossip, Yuu had lived alone as a college student in Tokyo and had vacated the house in Yamagata when Aunt Mitsuko died. She seemed annoyed that Uncle Teruyoshi had helped him with his college fees, but my heart beat faster at the thought that he was living much closer to me then than he had been over in Yamagata. I was careful to just say “Oh really?” without letting my interest show at all.
When I heard that he’d got a good job working for a men’s clothing wholesaler, I recalled how he always studiously finished his homework during summer vacation, never shirking his studies. I wasn’t surprised to hear he was a hard worker.
About a year ago I heard from my sister that his company had been acquired by another firm and he had taken voluntary redundancy.
“It’s because of the recession, I guess. The severance pay is higher if you leave quickly, apparently, so he volunteered. I guess he was unlucky, but then he was quite shrewd about it too. For the moment he’s living in the Akishina house on unemployment benefit.”
“In Akishina?” I blurted out, despite myself. Her mention of the place I missed so much caught me off guard.
“Yes! Uncle Teruyoshi has always doted on that boy. Yuu apparently went to him in tears saying he’d always loved Granny’s house and wanted to rest his mind and body there for a while. Uncle’s such a soft touch I swear. My hunch is that he’s secretly planning on settling in and not moving out. That boy brazenly took his inheritance from his estranged father and frittered it away, you know. I really don’t know what he’s thinking. Aunt Mitsuko was always going on about how he seemed more like an alien than her flesh and blood, and she was right.”
“Right,” I finally managed to answer, keeping my face down so as not to let her see my expression.
That had been a year ago. Just as my sister had said, Yuu was still unemployed and living in the Akishina house.
Just then the phone rang.
“Oh my, what a long time it’s been! Yes, yes . . . What? Akishina you say? Tomoya said that?”
Startled to hear my husband’s name, I mouthed “Who is it?” to Mom, who looked bewildered as she gripped the receiver and kept bowing to the person on the other end, even though they couldn’t see her.
“Er . . . no, we don’t mind at all. Yes, of course.”
Mom hung up and turned to me looking bewildered. “That was Tomoya’s mother, thanking me for agreeing to let Tomoya stay at the Akishina house. Perhaps you can enlighten me as to what this is all about?”
I couldn’t believe my ears. “My mother-in-law said that? Really?”
“You do know that in that house your—”
“I know! Tomoya was saying how much he wanted to go there, but I told him it was impossible.”
“So why did I get that call just now?”
“I have no idea! He must have gotten the wrong idea somehow. I’ll put him straight when I go home.”
My sister cuddled my niece to her and said provocatively, “Oh, but what a great idea. You should go! Akishina is the perfect place for you to go for your honeymoon, isn’t it?”
“Kise!” Mom said loudly, but Kise was looking at me unperturbed.
“What’s the problem? If it’s all right for Yuu to live there, then surely Natsuki also has the right to visit the place too, hasn’t she? The cheek of the boy! Even if Uncle Teruyoshi did agree to let him stay there, it’s a bit much for him to carry on living there without paying any rent. Really, it’d be best to kick him out, wouldn’t it?”
Mom looked nonplussed. “Well, you see, Uncle Teruyoshi inherited that house, so we don’t have any right to tell him who he can or can’t let stay there.”
“Yuu is Aunt Mitsuko’s son, so he’s nothing to do with Uncle Teruyoshi. Ever since she died, Uncle Teruyoshi has been strangely fond of that boy, but if you ask me Yuu seems to be somehow angling to take over. It’s so messed up!”
“Even if he sold the house, he wouldn’t get much for it, it’s so run-down,” Mom said bitterly.
I felt really uncomfortable, but I could hardly just walk out. I stood there unable to move.
It never occurred to me that we’d actually make it to Akishina I thought with a sigh as I sat on the Nagano-bound bullet train watching my husband tuck into his bento.
Of course he’d rashly told his mother about it. He’d been so excited at the possibility of going to Akishina that he’d let it slip.
The network of relatives had been activated with a flurry of phone calls, and Mom and Dad had urgently discussed whether it was really acceptable for us to stay there and whether it would be better to send Yuu somewhere else.
But Dad’s eldest sister, Aunt Ritsuko, said that such a long time had passed and now that I had a husband it should be okay, shouldn’t it?
“Look, Natsuki, you were just a child. You haven’t even been to visit Granny’s grave yet, have you, you poor thing? I still think that you should have come to the funeral, too, to say goodbye to Granny, you know. You’re all grown up now, so why keep harping on about the past? And you know, hearing the laughter of children around the house was Grandpa’s sole joy. Obon was never the same after that. Granny and Grandpa are so lonely in their graves. Just go pay them a visit, won’t you, Natsuki?”
Aunt Ritsuko wasn’t generally one to intervene in family disputes, but when she did her words carried weight, and even Uncle Teruyoshi couldn’t oppose her. Reluctantly, Mom and Dad both agreed to let me and my husband go to Akishina.
“I wish I could get Yuu to go somewhere else, but he’s already moved out of his Tokyo apartment, and he doesn’t have anywhere to live now. I suppose I could pay for him to go stay a few nights in a hotel, but that seems ridiculous, doesn’t it?”
Mom really didn’t seem to like Yuu. Even just the mention of his name disgusted her and made her irritable. Dad was much calmer and took a surprisingly cool attitude to it all, saying, “Well, it’s a big house, after all. And Tomoya will be there, too, so I’m sure things will be fine.”
My husband seemed oblivious to the Sasamoto family’s hasty phone discussions. He just sat staring nonchalantly out of the window.
“Oh, I’m so looking forward to it! I’ll finally get to go to Akishina! It’s like a dream come true.”
The only way to get to Akishina from Nagano Station was by bus or car. Since there was only one bus a day, it was decided that Uncle Teruyoshi would come to pick us up.
“I’m sorry to drag him out. If only you or I could drive, Natsuki.”
“Even if you could drive, that winding road is nigh on impossible for anyone who isn’t used to it. My mom can drive, but she always got my dad to take over on the mountain. That gives you some idea how scary it is.”
“Oh, I’m so excited! It’s the first time I’ve been to the mountains since summer camp at elementary school. My family never goes on holiday, so other than school trips I reckon this must be the first time I’ve ever been away from home.”
I was feeling a bit gloomy, but seeing how excited my husband was, I was beginning to be glad that we’d come.
“Natsuki, thank you,” my husband muttered as he gazed out of the window. “I really was thinking about dying. I’m so glad I could get away from the Factory with you like this before that.”
He leaned against me. Maybe he was feeling sleepy. We never touched, so this was highly unusual.
I looked out of the window, feeling the weight of my husband’s head on my shoulder. We passed through a few tunnels, signs that we were getting close to the mountains.
Uncle Teruyoshi was waiting at the ticket gate when we arrived at Nagano Station.
“Thank you for going to the trouble of coming out to meet us,” I said.
His hair was now completely white, and for a moment I didn’t recognize him. The figure waving to me and calling out “Natsuki!” looked more like my grandfather than the uncle I’d known twenty-three years before.
“I’ve heard all about Akishina from Natsuki. Being able to actually go there is like a dream come true! Thank you so much.”
“Oh, the pleasure is all mine. These days it’s what you call a critically depopulated village, with lots of empty houses. It’s a bit bleak, really. Grandpa will be happy that you youngsters have come all this way to pay him a visit.”
Uncle Teruyoshi looked smaller than I remembered. I’d probably also grown a bit since elementary school, but I didn’t think that was the only reason.
“Shall we go and have lunch somewhere? Once we get to Akishina, there’s no stores or eateries or anything, so it’s best to do some shopping for food before we go.
“Thank you, but we already brought pretty much everything we need with us,” I said, showing him the big bag I was carrying over my shoulder.
“You haven’t changed at all, Natsuki. You always were well prepared,” he said with a smile.
“Do you mind if I go to the bathroom before we set off?” my husband asked.
As he ran off to find the bathroom, Uncle Teruyoshi said, “It’s quite a bit cooler here than in Tokyo, isn’t it? You can wait inside the car if you like.”
“No, I’m fine. I also anticipated that and brought a coat with me.”
“You did? I guess you know the Akishina weather well, too, Natsuki,” he said, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I told Yuu that you were coming. He himself said it would be better if he stayed somewhere else, but it’s not easy at such short notice.”
“I’m sorry to have caused such a fuss.”
“No, it’s fine. That house had been lying empty ever since Granny died and was a bit desolate. There had been talk of demolishing it since it’s so run-down, so I was happy when Yuu said he wanted to stay there. It somehow felt a bit like the old days. The two of you always did love that house, didn’t you?” Uncle murmured, narrowing his eyes as he reeled in the memories. Then he looked down. “I felt really bad about what happened back then, you know.”
I looked at him in surprise.
“You were both just children and didn’t know any better. And all of us adults totally overreacted. We tried to put a lid on it to cover it up. Adults are so violent and overbearing, they really are.”
“Not at all . . . well now that I’ve grown up I can understand the circumstances better. You didn’t do anything wrong, Uncle Teruyoshi.”
“Does your husband know about what happened? Sorry if I’m sticking my nose in where it’s not wanted.”
“You don’t need to worry about him,” I said flatly.
He looked a little relieved and smiled. “You married well, didn’t you?”
“Are you okay? You don’t look too good,” I said to my husband.
“I’ll be okay,” he groaned, holding a handkerchief over his mouth.
Uncle Teruyoshi drove skillfully around the hairpin bends. The mountain road was steeper and narrower than I remembered, with a cliff dropping off to one side, and there weren’t any guard rails. Every time we went around a curve, our bottoms slid over the back seat and squashed our bodies against each other.
“It’s tough for people who aren’t used to it. Shall I stop somewhere for a rest?”
“No, I’m okay.”
“Really? If you can cope, then it’s definitely better to get it over and done with. These bends are really hard to deal with when you don’t know them. Are you doing okay, Natsuki?”
“Yes, I’m fine,” I said bravely, although actually I was feeling quite uneasy about falling off the edge. I didn’t want Uncle to think I’d gone soft living in the metropolis and had forgotten how wild the Akishina mountains were.
“You haven’t changed at all, have you, Natsuki?” Uncle said, looking pleased.
The tension of meeting after such a long time was beginning to dissipate, and I could feel the beloved uncle who had always spoiled me as a kid coming through.
“Just three more bends to go, and we’ll be there. Hold on just a bit longer!”
Leaves scratched against the window. I had the feeling that the greenery was pressing in on us with a greater intensity than it had long ago. I was up against the window gazing at the trees like I’d done as a child. We climbed up and up the unfamiliar winding tunnel of green until my ears started popping painfully, then suddenly the vista opened out before us.
“We’re here! Natsuki and Tomoya, welcome to Akishina!” he announced, bringing tears to my eyes.
And there, just beyond the familiar small red bridge, was the Akishina that I had replayed in my mind time and time again over the years.
Uncle stopped the car by the red bridge for my husband, who was super excited, his carsickness forgotten.
“Uncle, is this the same river where we used to light the fire for the ancestors back when we were kids?”
I couldn’t resist getting out of the car and running to the river, which now seemed more like a tiny shallow stream.
“Yes, that’s right. Don’t you remember?”
“I thought it was wider and deeper . . . I remember when we were little we’d sometimes put on our bathing suits and go swimming.”
“You did? This river is far too shallow for swimming, though. When I was a kid I remember me and my friends built a dam with stones to make a pool to swim in. I guess we must have done the same when you and the others were coming so everyone could enjoy playing in the water.”
“Oh.”
Come to think of it, the river had been dammed with stones. I’d tried so hard to keep Akishina vivid in my mind, but my memories of the place had become patchy.
The mountains surrounding the village were much higher than I remembered. My image of them was green, but here and there the leaves had started to take on a red autumnal tinge. In my memory, my grandfather’s grave was some distance away, but I could see it now, just the other side of the river.
“The utility poles aren’t made of wood anymore.”
“That’s right. Long ago they did used to be wood, didn’t they? You have got a good memory! You still can’t get cell phone reception here, but since that’s going to be a big problem when the grandkids start coming here, there is talk of putting up an antenna.”
