Earthlings, page 5
How far into the future would I need to take my life so that I would be able to survive?
3) Survive, whatever it takes.
The pledge I’d made with Yuu was seared into the fiber of my being.
How long did I have to survive for? Would I ever be able to live without constantly trying to survive?
Looking at Mom, looking at Mrs. Shinozaki, I couldn’t imagine it. The thought I would have to struggle for an eternity made me dizzy.
Still, I had to become a factory component as quickly as possible. I had to develop my brain and grow my body to help the society I was being raised in. For now, I held my breath, trying to carry my own life into a future that was just a few hours away, the future when Mom finally calmed down.
After school, I said I was going to play with Shizuka and went out.
Here in the faintly glowing town, outer space was far away. But it would soon be the summer vacation. Just thirty days until I would see Yuu.
I used a telephone card to call him from a public phone. If Aunt Mitsuko answered, I would hang up immediately.
“Hello, Sasamoto here.” It was Yuu’s voice.
“Yuu! Yuu, it’s me.”
“Natsuki?” It sounded like a hiccup, he was so surprised.
“Yuu, listen. An alien from your planet came to my place a short while ago.” I gripped the receiver. “Piyyut finally managed to break the curse and spoke to me in human. He secretly summoned someone from Planet Popinpobopia to my room in the middle of the night.”
On the other end of the line, there was only a light rustling sound indicating Yuu’s presence. I plowed on feverishly.
“He said your spaceship is now in Akishina, Yuu. Last time we were looking for it up on the mountain, right? But that’s not where it is. Remember Uncle telling us about that small shrine? I haven’t ever been there, either, but that’s where it is, so let’s go looking for it this summer.”
“Natsuki, calm down. Is something up? Who told you that?”
“You see, an alien came, and he has to go back right away, but he’s from the same planet as you, and he knows about you. So I had to tell you about the spaceship right away. And two people can get on the spaceship. So you can take me with you he said.”
Yuu took a deep breath. “I see, sorry I asked. I was just so surprised. Wow. So this summer we’ll be able to go back home.”
I didn’t know how much of what I was saying was true. I had the feeling that an alien had actually come. I also had the feeling it was all my imagination. If it wasn’t true, Yuu would be disappointed. But I couldn’t help rushing on.
“Yeah, so remember to say goodbye to your friends at school at the end of the first semester. Because we’re going home, both of us.”
“All right. You too, Natsuki, be sure to say goodbye to your friends and pack your bags so you’re ready. There probably isn’t much room in the spaceship, but maybe we should take some games.”
“We don’t need things like that. I never get bored when I’m talking with you.”
The sky was tinged a pale black, like washed-out ink. Unlike in Akishina, the night here was too light to hide me. I couldn’t wait for the Obon holiday to come, so I could finally get back to night that was pitch-black. I closed my eyes, longing for the darkness of Akishina. Inside my eyes, points shone brightly like a starry sky.
When the summer vacation finally started, I was elated.
Just one week to go until Obon.
The neighborhood association always held its summer festival in the yard of our elementary school around this time. I dressed up in my yukata with a wind chime design and went to find Shizuka. I found her eating shaved ice. She was wearing the yukata with a goldfish design that we had chosen together last year.
“Look, there’s Mr. Igasaki!” she suddenly exclaimed.
Startled, I gripped my stick of cotton candy.
“Come on, let’s go say hello.”
“Wait! No, better not. I saw Rika over there. You don’t get on with her. Quick, this way.”
I hurried off in the opposite direction. Shizuka chased after me, calling, “Hey, wait!”
Later, I was leaning on the wall of the gym waiting for Shizuka. She had gone to the restroom, saying her tummy felt cold after eating too much shaved ice.
I was just thinking that she was taking a long time when someone grabbed hold of my wrist.
“Good evening, Natsuki.”
I suppressed a scream and bowed meekly. “Oh, good evening, Mr. Igasaki.”
He looked as though he was wearing white face powder, he was so pale, and his hand was sticky with sweat. I broke out in goosebumps at the sight of his symmetrical, doll-like face—the one Shizuka raved about as being so handsome. Instinctively, I held my arm over the front of my yukata.
“Shizuka already came out of the bathroom and is at my place now.”
“What?”
“She started feeling faint when she was waiting in line. My house is just over there, so she’s resting there now.”
“Really?”
Come to think of it Shizuka had said she was on her period today. Surely she wasn’t also being taught how to change her napkins? I felt a shiver of horror. I’d better go to her right away. I had to use my magical powers to save my poor friend.
“Come on, Natsuki, hurry up.”
I clutched hold of Piyyut, who was hidden in my bag, as Mr. Igasaki yanked me along with him.
Silently I chanted a spell. My magical powers could make me invincible. I would go and help Shizuka.
I told myself this over and over again. Piyyut was always looking out for me.
“In you come, Natsuki,” Mr. Igasaki said brightly when we reached his house.
I’d heard that his parents were abroad on business and that he was on his own in the house for the summer.
“Where’s Shizuka?”
“Oh, Shizuka? She was already feeling better so has gone on home.”
“Oh . . .”
He said it in such a matter-of-fact way that I was ashamed of myself for having made a mistake. I knew he’d lied to me, but he was so confident and didn’t seem to feel in the slightest bit guilty.
“You are a considerate friend, aren’t you, Natsuki? Do you like tea? I have some nice strawberry-flavor tea. Take a seat on the sofa while I make some.”
I sat on the sofa without saying anything and stared at a box of chocolates that was sitting on the coffee table. It was a large box, brand-new, without even one missing. I thought that maybe Shizuka hadn’t wanted any either.
“I thought we could have a lesson here in my house today,” he said, bringing in some sweet-smelling tea. “Do you understand what a BJ is, Natsuki?”
“A what?”
“A BJ. So you don’t know, then? That won’t do. Everyone has to do it when they grow up. I’ll do you a special favor and teach you about it today.”
He was speaking gently, much like he did in class. But for some reason, I felt really scared. Weird alarm bells were ringing in my head. Maybe Mom was right, and it was just my dirty mind. I felt self-conscious and ashamed of myself for feeling afraid of this cheerful teacher.
“Today isn’t a cram school day, but I’ll give you a special lesson. You mustn’t tell the other children about it, okay? It’s a special lesson just for you, Natsuki.”
“Okay . . .”
He stood up and came to sit next to me on the sofa. I could feel my skin prickling with goosebumps, but I didn’t say anything. Whenever Mr. Igasaki was being a bit weird he was very gentle, but somehow I didn’t know what he might do to me if I offended him.
He pushed the table with the chocolates on it away with his foot and stroked my back.
“Well, then, kneel down on the carpet, facing the sofa, looking at me. No, no, not that far away. Come here between my knees.”
“But—”
He sighed. “Natsuki, if you’re so unenthusiastic you’ll really make me mad. You said you wanted to study, so I’m specially making time for you outside school hours. You really must study properly, you know?”
“Okay. I’m sorry.”
I didn’t recall having told him I wanted to study, but seeing how annoyed he was, I thought maybe I had said something of the sort to him at some point after all. I was scared of making him any angrier, so I meekly obeyed.
“Right. Now, close your eyes and open your mouth. Keep it open and don’t use your teeth.”
Terrified, I opened my mouth about a centimeter, but he stuck his thick fingers in and opened it to about the same width as when I went to the dentist. After opening my mouth, he wrapped his fingers around my neck.
“Okay? You have to do what I say and study properly. If you don’t study hard, you’ll make me angry. You don’t want that, do you, Natsuki? You’re a serious student, after all.”
I nodded desperately, my mouth still open.
If I defied an adult, I would be killed. If the adults threw me out, I would die.
Survive, whatever it takes.
The pledge I’d made with Yuu coiled itself around my body like a talisman.
Something warm and slimy entered my mouth. It tasted slightly bitter and had a fishy smell. I desperately kept my teeth hidden. I was terrified of what he might do to me if I disobeyed him and carelessly bared my teeth. He still had his thick fingers around my neck.
With my eyes firmly closed, I didn’t know exactly what he was doing to me. I opened my eyes a little and saw he had raised his buttocks slightly from the sofa and moved his groin up against me and was making a strange motion I had never seen before. I felt even more scared and closed my eyes tight again.
He was breathing heavily, and the warm damp wind coming from his mouth curled around my face and the top of my head.
Suddenly some kind of warm liquid spread through my mouth. I thought maybe he’d peed in my mouth, and immediately I felt like throwing up, but the hands on my neck moved to the back of my head, immobilizing me.
Somehow I managed to twist my body and turn my face away, and I vomited the stuff out. What was spattered over the floor was not pee or blood but a strange liquid that looked like yogurt.
“Natsuki, you have to swallow it properly. Like this!” He grabbed the back of my head again.
Suddenly my vision crumpled. Before I knew it, I had left my body and was looking down from the ceiling at Mr. Igasaki holding my head.
Wow, I must have summoned a super strong magical power. I had no idea how, since I hadn’t used my wand or mirror. But despite this spectacular magic, I felt no emotion whatsoever and simply watched my own body in silence from the ceiling.
Seeing Mr. Igasaki holding my skull and using my head as a tool, I vaguely understood. I’d thought I wasn’t yet a fully fledged member of the Factory, but actually I was already one of its tools after all.
Mr. Igasaki was talking to my body, which was now empty since I was up on the ceiling.
“This lesson has to be repeated many times. I have this house to myself over the summer. I’ll hold a summer school course just for you, Natsuki.”
“Okay,” my body said. Floating in space, I watched abstractedly as my body faced Mr. Igasaki.
“I am doing you a big favor by teaching you this, Natsuki. You understand that, don’t you? You mustn’t tell anyone. I’m not just your teacher, so if it ever gets known that I’ve been showing you favoritism and giving special classes, I’ll get into trouble. And you will too, Natsuki. You’ll get into even more trouble than I will. After all, you pleaded with me to give you these special study sessions, didn’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Make sure you come back for more study sessions. You can come next Monday, can’t you?”
“Yes.”
Next week was Obon. I wouldn’t be in Tokyo. But my physical body was nodding at him, as my out-of-body self on the ceiling stared down at it, watching.
Afterward I went straight home. Hovering overhead, I watched myself walking toward my house.
I didn’t know when I would be able to return to my physical self. All I could do was watch, not thinking about anything.
I saw Mom speaking to me. “So you got lost again,” she said, looking exasperated. I felt terribly sleepy and went straight to bed without replying. Still out of my body, I watched over myself as I took off my yukata, put on my pajamas, and went to sleep. The moment my physical body’s cheek flopped onto the pillow and fell asleep, my hovering self lost consciousness.
After a long deep sleep, I awoke to find my consciousness had returned to my physical body.
I desperately wanted to have a bath. As I got up I felt the urge to vomit. I rushed to the upstairs toilet, but my stomach was empty, and nothing came out.
Back in my room, I looked around feeling disorientated. My yukata and obi were neatly folded, and my pajama buttons done all the way up. It was just as my hovering self had observed yesterday.
My throat was dry. I recalled having bought some orange juice at the festival and took it out of my bag.
The moment I poured the lukewarm juice into my mouth, I felt something wasn’t quite right. It didn’t taste of anything. I thought maybe it had gone bad, but when I sniffed it, there was the usual sweet orange smell.
I thought this was strange, but I wanted to brush my teeth and have a bath. I took a change of clothes and went downstairs.
Mom would probably be angry with me since I hadn’t answered her yesterday. I wondered what had happened to Shizuka. I felt sick all over and crept toward the bathroom, trying hard not to make any noise.
Just then, I heard voices in the living room.
“I don’t want to go to Nagano this year,” my sister whined. “I want to go abroad.”
“You’ve been working hard, Kise, haven’t you?” Mom said. “I agree. We can’t afford to go abroad, but we could probably manage a hot springs resort. I’d prefer that too. We always go to Nagano every year. We could skip it just this once, couldn’t we?”
“I guess,” Dad said vaguely.
I burst into the room. “Noooooooooooooooo!” I howled. “We’re going to Granny’s place for Obon! We’re going to Akishina! Nooooooooooooooo!”
“Stop being so selfish!” Mom shouted. But I couldn’t stop wailing. “Why are you always so self-centered?” She smacked me on my head.
The out-of-body magical power. I had to summon the out-of-body magical power. If I used that, then I wouldn’t have to feel anything.
“Really, you only ever think of yourself. Even just yesterday, we thought you were lost but you came home as if nothing had happened and went straight to sleep. You’re such a dead loss, you really are.”
She kicked my back. She kicked me just the same way my sister did.
However hard I chanted incantations to myself, today I couldn’t manage to leave my body.
Mom kept shoving me with the back of her foot.
I was dragged back to my room screaming.
“Don’t come out until you’ve calmed down,” Mom spat and went back downstairs.
I took Piyyut out of the drawer where I kept him and crouched down hugging him close to me.
Please let me summon the out-of-body magical power, so I can go to be with Yuu.
I stayed in my room for the rest of the day chanting incantations, not feeling hungry at all.
When night fell, I put the wire ring on my finger and huddled down in bed. I shut my eyes tight and tried to summon darkness, but there wasn’t a single star behind my eyelids. I fell asleep looking at the underside of my own skin.
The next morning I woke to find myself being shaken. I opened my eyes a crack. Mom was standing by my bed dressed in black.
“Get ready right away. We’re going to Nagano.”
“What? Why?”
“Grandpa died. He hadn’t been well for a while, but nobody expected him to die suddenly like this.”
Had I used black magic instead of white magic, I absently wondered as I lay in bed. Maybe my magic had granted my desperate wish to meet Yuu, come what may.
“Your sister can wear her school uniform, but you’d better wear black. What have you got? Oh, that dress will do. Anyway, hurry up and get ready. We’re leaving in an hour.
When we walked in the front door of Granny’s house it was completely different from the way it was in summer.
There were large paper lanterns I’d never seen before in the altar room. In the living room, nobody was sitting around; everyone was dressed in black and rushing about.
“We’ll just put our bags upstairs, then go greet Grandpa,” Dad said.
Normally he was timid and tiptoed around Mom and Kise, but today he was in charge. When he said we had to greet Grandpa, I wondered if maybe he was actually still alive, just very ill, but I couldn’t work out how I could ask Dad what he’d meant.
Grandpa was asleep in the altar room. He was lying on a white futon that was softer and fluffier than any I’d ever seen. The faint smell that he’d always had about him hung in the air.
Granny was dressed in black and sat by Grandpa’s pillow with tears in her eyes.
“Kise, Natsuki, will you come and greet your grandfather?”
“Okay,” I said in a small voice, but Kise remained sullenly silent.
“Come on then. You might be a bit shocked, but you are both big girls now, so you’ll be okay. Come and greet him,” Dad said, gently turning back the cloth placed over Grandpa’s face.
Grandpa looked the same as he always did, only his eyes were closed, and he had cotton wool stuffed up his nose. He was a bit pale but looked as though he might get up at any moment.
“See, isn’t he handsome? He even looks like he’s smiling,” Aunt Natsuko said, wiping her eyes. She had her arm around Granny.
