“Calm down, Tomoya. My sister can’t force us to go back. All she can do is put a bit of pressure on us like she did just now. We can still stay here for a while yet.”

  “Did you see that woman’s eyes? She’s crazy! It’s like she thinks we’re criminals, and she’s just letting us get away with it for the time being. Why do I have to have her permission to be who I am? Who does she think she is?”

  Yuu had watched this outburst in astonishment, but finally he collected himself. Laying a hand on my husband’s back, he said, “Calm down, will you? Anyway, it’s getting chilly. Let’s go and sit in the kotatsu, shall we?”

  “Yeah, all right.” my husband said, looking sheepish.

  As he soothed my husband, Yuu seemed preoccupied.

  That night, while my husband was in the bath, I was on the veranda gazing at the stars when Yuu slid the shoji open and asked, “Aren’t you cold sitting out there?”

  “I have a hot water bottle to keep warm.”

  “I see.”

  He sat down next to me. This was unusual I thought. Normally he went out of his way to avoid being alone with me whenever my husband was out of sight.

  “Um . . . this might sound strange coming from me, but does Tomoya know what happened between us when were kids?”

  “We’ve never really talked about the past. He’s my partner, but that doesn’t mean we’re friends.”

  “It’s best to talk about that sort of thing with a partner. If he finds out later it might lead to a misunderstanding, and he’ll probably feel hurt.”

  “What sort of misunderstanding?”

  Yuu looked taken aback by my question. “That there is, er . . . a relationship between you and me.”

  “Yuu, you’re acting like someone in a TV drama. Of course there’s a relationship between us. We’re cousins.”

  “This isn’t a drama. It’s real life. If you are misunderstood, Natsuki, you’ll be even more cut off from the Factory. Anyone who contravenes their logic will be punished.”

  “Tomoya is all right. He’s an even more ardent believer in Planet Popinpobopia than I am.”

  Yuu sighed. “Natsuki, we aren’t children anymore. That kind of crazy reasoning won’t work. You have to do better. As an adult, you have to squarely face up to problems.”

  “What problems? Do better than what? Look, Yuu, I already explained it clearly to you. I told you about Tomoya and me. You’re just not listening. You’re too busy tuning into society’s noise. However much we talk, it’s just meaningless babble to you.”

  I looked up at him. He had grown a little taller than me.

  “Lucky you,” I went on. “You’ve been completely brainwashed, haven’t you? The sooner I am too, the better. I’m not like Tomoya. I don’t yearn for an alien eye. I want to get an Earthling perspective, and as soon as possible. It would make everything so much easier.”

  Yuu sighed. “You haven’t changed a bit, have you, Natsuki? It’s really like you’re frozen in time.”

  Yuu despised me. But there was nothing I could do about that. The alien eye had already been downloaded into me. It was the only way I could see the world.

  “I’ll talk to Tomoya tomorrow. Since you say it’s that important, I’ll follow the Earthling rules. It’s not as though I’m trying to rebel,” I told him, hugging the hot water bottle tightly to me. It was only lukewarm.

  The next morning over breakfast, I told Tomoya that there was something I wanted to talk to him about. Before I could go any further, he said happily, “Me too. I’m going to try having sex with my grandfather.”

  Yuu choked, spraying miso soup over the kotatsu.

  “Why?” I asked my husband, handing some tissues and a dishcloth to Yuu.

  “Incest isn’t very common, is it? It’s taboo. Therefore I can use it as a step toward liberating myself from the brainwashing.”

  “Hmm, you think so?” I was skeptical. His idea was rooted in a human sense of values, and I couldn’t help thinking it was a typically human concept.

  “I want to try whatever people find most taboo. Other than murder.”

  “Hold on a moment,” Yuu said, flustered. “How can I put this . . . ? Anyway, sex without consent is a crime.”

  “It’s all right. Tomoya’s grandfather is in a vegetative state in the hospital.”

  “That’s even worse!”

  “Why?” I looked Yuu in the eye. “That sort of thing happens everywhere, you know. We just don’t see it. Even now, someone somewhere in the world is being used as a tool. It’ll happen again today too. That’s all it is.”

  “Natsuki, what you are talking about is a crime. It’s abnormal.”

  “So what? Adults are expected to turn a blind eye to anything abnormal, aren’t they? That’s the way it is. Why so virtuous now? You’re just a regular adult, after all. All you have to do is ignore it, just like any other regular adult.”

  I had no intention of condemning the crime my husband was planning to commit. If he wanted so much to become an alien, that was fine by me. And if he wanted to injure someone with his testes, then he should go right ahead I thought. If he actually went through with it, then at least he could become a monster. When I tried to imagine it, my hands shook, and there was a loud buzzing like a cicada in my right ear.

  “There’s some truth in what you’re saying, Yuu,” he said. “Now that I think about it, of course it would be a crime. It’s just I thought that my grandfather wouldn’t realize, so I wouldn’t be prosecuted for it. That was wrong of me.”

  “Why?” I asked coolly, feeling my fingertips trembling. “What is crime, anyway? Earthlings are always doing it, right? They’re forever carrying out crimes without any qualms at all.”

  “Ah. You’ve got a point there, Natsuki. You are from Planet Popinpobopia, after all,” he said. “Mom is really busy with caregiving and doesn’t have time for anything else, so I’ll try out incest with my brother. Of course, I’ll explain it to him properly and get his consent.”

  “Hold on. What do you hope to achieve with this?” Yuu asked.

  My husband looked at him strangely. “To become an alien, of course. How many times do I have to explain that to you?”

  “But even if you do do something like that, it won’t change the fact that you’re human.”

  “I won’t know until I try. Anyway, I want to give it a go. I want to discard my humanity before I’m dragged back to the Factory.” My husband’s gaze turned to me. “I’m sorry, Natsuki. I’ve been doing all the talking. What was it you wanted to talk about?”

  “Well, when Yuu and I were in elementary school, we thought we were lovers, and we even once had sex. We held a secret wedding ceremony too.”

  My husband sighed. “I can’t believe you’re worried about something like that, Natsuki. I suppose the Factory must be getting to you after all. I’m quite disappointed I must say.”

  “Um, it was me who told Natsuki to tell you about it. Sorry,” Yuu hastily butted in. “I thought you would have a hard time of it should there be any misunderstanding.”

  “Hard time of it? Really? Well, from my point of view, it’s you who’s having a hard time of it,” my husband said, peering at Yuu in concern. “You’re lucky enough to be living in an abandoned factory, but here you are still apparently under the Factory’s spell. But never mind, someday you, too, will be able to download the alien eye.”

  Yuu was staring at my husband with narrowed eyes, although I couldn’t say whether this was because he found the light too bright, was being hostile toward him, or simply felt sleepy.

  My husband stopped eating his rice and, still holding his bowl, continued, “You see, that’s when you’ll be able to see the real world, the pure world that your eyes are really seeing, unsullied by your brain. That perspective will be the greatest gift from us as a couple to you.”

  Yuu opened his mouth ready to argue back, but no words came out, and he just sat there staring vacantly, as though swallowed up by the force of my husband’s gaze.

  “Yuu, I thank you from the bottom of my heart,” my husband went on. “I am truly grateful to you for letting us come and take refuge here. I want to return the favor. I just hope we have enough time to do that before we’re forced to go back to the Factory.”

  He put his bowl down and looked alternately at me and Yuu. “At any rate, I’m going to go to my parents’ place this weekend. I will have sex with someone in my family before coming back here. Of course with their consent and without hurting anyone. If all goes well, I want you to celebrate my success. If I can have both of your blessings, I believe I will feel very happy.”

  “Okay,” I said. Despite my husband’s calm explanation, my fingertips wouldn’t stop trembling.

  That night I couldn’t sleep. There was still a buzzing sound in my right ear.

  My mouth had remained broken all the way through school. I couldn’t taste anything, so I lost a lot of weight. ­Everyone around me was gradually beginning to function as components of the Baby Factory, while I found myself being left behind. Before they knew it, they had all been brainwashed. My classmates all longed to fall in love, and they began to try hard to be the sort of girls suited to romance.

  “Why?” they would ask me when I said there wasn’t anyone I fancied. All the other girls liked talking about boys. They were concerned if someone didn’t join in.

  I was looking for a church where I could confess. I wanted to take all the words out from inside my body and show them to someone. I chose someone of the same sex simply because I’d had absolutely no contact with any boys and didn’t think they would understand me anyway. The sooner I could lay to rest the words within me the better.

  When I was in senior high school, I summoned my courage and tried to talk to my friend Kanae. We were from the same neighborhood, we went to the same school, and we got along well. I also had the feeling that she would be less biased since she’d been to a different cram school.

  “Kanae, do you remember when that teacher from the cram school by the station was murdered?”

  “Oh, you mean that really cool teacher, right? I was in a different cram school, but I remember that. The poor guy.”

  “I was in his school.”

  “Really? Everyone there seemed really close. I remember being so impressed seeing you all handing out leaflets together.”

  “But you know what? That teacher was a bit weird. I know you shouldn’t speak ill of the dead, but . . .”

  “What do you mean, weird?”

  “Well . . .”

  I plucked up my courage and told her what had happened. About the sanitary napkin, and about him putting his thing in my mouth, doing my best not to be too explicit.

  Kanae pulled a face. “Ew, what is that? You’re saying he was your boyfriend? Like, an elementary schoolgirl with a university student?”

  “What? No! That’s not what I meant . . . I mean, he was a pervert.”

  Kanae burst out laughing. “No way! Are you sure you didn’t just dream it all? After all, you were only in elementary school back then. From what I saw of his photo on the news, he must have been really popular. Sounds like a fantasy to me.”

  “No, you’ve got it all wrong. I hated him.”

  “If you didn’t like it, you should have told him! It’s your fault for not turning him down. Apart from anything, if you hated him so much, you shouldn’t have gone to his house, right?”

  “Well no, but—”

  “Even if it’s true . . . After all, he was so cool you must have purposely let down your guard. That’s basically consenting, isn’t it? I can’t understand why you’re playing the tragic heroine, really.”

  “No, you’re wrong. It wasn’t like that at all.”

  Kanae heaved a big sigh. “Well, look, just what is it you want me to say? Why are you telling me? It’s such a turnoff!”

  She kept her distance after that. Another friend told me that she was going around telling everyone I was a liar.

  The second time I came out about it was when I was in university, and my friend Miho told me that she was often groped on the train. This time I cautiously chose someone who was also a victim for my confession.

  I was worried she might accuse me of lying like Kanae had, but I steeled myself and this time described what happened as a criminal act without bothering to sugarcoat it. I hid the fact that he was dead and any other information that might arouse any sympathy for him and carefully selected just the episodes that might gain sympathy for myself. Everything I said was true, but apparently I’d given Miho the impression that Mr. Igasaki was not a good-looking young student but a fat and ugly middle-aged man. That made it much more relatable for her.

  “What the hell? That is just so gross, an old man like that. You poor thing, Natsuki!”

  I was relieved that she was so enraged. However, when I entered my second year of college, then my third, and still made hardly any effort to meet boys, her focus began to shift.

  “Look, I know what you went through was awful, but aren’t you letting him win? Finding happiness is the best revenge. The longer you continue to mope, the longer that dirty old man will be rejoicing.”

  “Yeah.” I always agreed with her.

  “Look,” she went on, I hate to be the one to say this, but he didn’t even force you to go all the way, did he? So I kind of wonder why you’re acting so traumatized. I mean, I’ve been groped loads and it’s horrible, but we just have to put up with it, right? If we let that sort of thing stop us from hooking up with anyone for our whole lives, the human race will die out pretty quick! Some of my friends suffered way worse, and they all have boyfriends now. Everyone else does their best to forget the past and look to the future, Natsuki. You’ve got as far as college without even so much as speaking to a boy. It’s a bit weird.”

  She was probably right, but I just laughed it off.

  One day I went to meet Miho only to find she wasn’t alone. There was a guy with her.

  “Who is he?” I asked.

  “Someone I want to introduce you to.” She laughed and turned to the boy. “I’m sorry, she’s got issues with men. But hey, you said you liked the innocent type, right? I thought the two of you would be just right for each other.”

  I was glaring at Miho without moving a muscle. The boy looked a bit scared.

  “Who is he?” I repeated.

  I no longer knew who Miho was or why she was making such a fuss or why was she so determined to get me to have sex with someone.

  Furious, I walked away. Behind me I heard the boy laugh and say, “I know I said I’d prefer a virgin to used goods, but that’s too much!”

  I was keenly aware that I was unable to fulfill my duty as a tool for the Baby Factory. Being a Popinpobopian, I just couldn’t understand Earthlings. On Earth, young women were supposed to fall in love and have sex, and if they didn’t, they were “lonely” or “bored” or “wasting their youth and would regret it later!”

  “You have to make up for lost time,” Miho was always telling me.

  But I couldn’t understand why, when it meant doing something I didn’t want to do.

  We would soon be dispatched to the Factory. Those who were already prepared would guide those who weren’t yet ready. Miho was my guide.

  Earthlings baffled me. If I were an Earthling, though, I suppose it would be absolutely natural for me to be controlled by my genes, too, just like Miho was. It must be a peaceful, secure way of life.

  It was just before Christmas, decorations and ornamental trees adorned the streets, and there was romance in the air.

  Society was a system for falling in love. People who couldn’t fall in love had to fake it. What came first: the system or love? All I knew was that love was a mechanism designed to make Earthlings breed.

  I took a train back to Mirai New Town. At the ticket gates, I saw Mr. Igasaki’s parents handing out leaflets. People walking past were ignoring their grief-stricken faces and pleas for information, casually avoiding taking the leaflets urged on them by the aging couple. They had attracted a lot of sympathy at the time of the murder, but now they were treated as a nuisance, like foreign matter in the town.

  I quietly averted my eyes, hoping they wouldn’t see me, and headed for home.

  Humans got really worked up when an organism that had inherited their genes was killed. Even now, Mr. Igasaki’s parents were still driven by grief and rage.

  Unlike when I was little, there was now a shopping mall and retail outlets around the station and the area was bustling with people. There were lots of families out walking among all the Christmas decorations and couples in school uniforms holding hands.

  The Factory seemed to be putting more and more effort into promoting how wonderful it was to fall in love and how fabulous it was to produce a human at the end of that.

  In my belly I already had a womb primed for this Baby Factory. I was getting to the age where I would soon be censured for not letting this organ be used for the benefit of the Factory.

  The next morning I awoke to find my husband already dressed and ready to go out.

  “Won’t you have breakfast before you go?”

  “No, I’ve already called a taxi. I’ll only be gone one night. I want to carry my plan out as quickly as possible and come back here.”

  “I see. Good luck!”

  My husband had just left when Yuu came downstairs.

  “Where’s Tomoya?”

  “He’s gone already.”

  “What, already? I told him I’d give him a lift!”

  “He’s a bit reckless.”

  Yuu sighed. “Okay, well I’ll leave, too, after breakfast.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’ll go down the mountain and stay in a hotel tonight.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Surely even you can understand why we two shouldn’t spend the night here together on our own?”

 

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