Salvaging Love, page 13
“Jackson.” She couldn’t bear it, his words, his trust, his body.
He nipped her ear and tightened his hold on her. “Never had such beauty, babe.” And with that she shattered around him, her entire being exploding into wave after wave of exquisite tremors.
“Fucking so damn beautiful,” he whispered. He quickened the pace, surging into her. “God, Ellie.” And he came, taking her body on the ride of her life.
Ellie tried to control the tears, but there was no way. Jackson curled his body around her with his chest to her back, whispering his story into her ears, her soul. He’d brushed her tears away and kept her wrapped up in his embrace. But it appeared he’d had enough. “Babe,” he called. “It’s over. No one but Duggan, in my whole life, knows my story, and even he doesn’t have all the details I told you, darlin’. Appreciate your tears ’cause I know they come from your heart, and I need you to know how much it means to me to feel safe sharing all that with you, but no more tears now.”
“So.” She grabbed his wrists that cradled her head. “You spent your childhood at the hands of an abusive father. Your brave mother got you away from him. He hunted you down. Your mom shot and killed him to protect you, which you witnessed, on your birthday at nine years old, after which you and your sister were separated and you’ve been searching for her since you were in college, with no luck? Your mom died in prison. You never got to say goodbye to her, and you go back every year on your birthday to visit her grave and ask her forgiveness? Punishing yourself even though you had no control over any of that? And you want me to simply stop crying?”
She wanted to rage and yell and hit someone. “I’m a crier, Jackson. I warned you. If that’s not okay with you, maybe we should part ways now, because there will be more tears, especially when you tell me a story like that!” She felt the rumble of his laughter when he buried his face in her neck.
“Part ways?” he said, chuckling.
“Jackson!” she scolded. “It isn’t funny.”
“Babe, felt safe sharing my hell with you, in my bed, in my home, which I’ve never brought another woman to. Got your soft, luscious body tangled in mine. The taste of you still in my mouth, and you think we might ‘part ways’?” He drew his nose along hers and kissed her long and slow and, as angry for him as she was, his kiss melted her immediately.
“Maybe I’ll start swearing like you. Is that why you swear? Does it help? Does it help you deal with all the tragedies you’ve lived through and survived? I’m thinking it’s part of your badass-ness.” He smiled, that smile of his that warmed his entire face.
“I’m thinking you’re already a badass without swearing, babe. Met you. Wanted you. You shared your warmth and beauty with me. I fucked it up, and thank God you let me back in. Then your stunning cake-making skills slayed every nightmare I’ve had.”
“No one ever called me a badass before,” she whispered, and her eyes filled with tears again.
Jackson leaned down and kissed next to each eye. “No more tears now, babe.”
“Happy tears, Jackson. Happy tears.”
“Know something better than happy tears.”
“Yeah?” she whispered. “What’s that?”
“Cake for breakfast.” He leaned down and nipped one of her nipples. Then he sprang up and left her lying there.
“Jackson!”
“Cake for breakfast. In bed!” he yelled. And he returned with a plate, one huge slice of cake and a fork.
“We can’t eat that here. We’ll get the bed all messy.”
He sat, pulled her naked body onto his lap, picked up the cake and fed her a bite. Then he leaned in and licked her lips, like a feather teasing her most sensitive spots. “Gonna mess up the bed with you after we eat it anyway,” he said before he held out another bite for her.
“Oh,” she whispered when she could talk. And he did just that, he messed up the bed with her. And he took his time.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Hours later, after they’d slept, gotten up to play with the dogs and had lunch, after Ellie had checked in with her clinic and Jackson had caught up with a bit of work, they were getting dressed to run errands. Jackson smiled. He’d never run errands with anyone and he found he couldn’t wait. A fucking birthday cake. Jesus, she had layers of beauty inside her that she openly shared with him. Aside from his mother, he’d never had anyone take care of him, and he found he fucking loved it. It broke him open inside and made him feel safe telling her about his childhood, about why he had to go away this weekend.
“I know you probably hate shopping, but I kind of need to stop at the mall since almost everything I own is drenched at the moment,” she said, interrupting his thoughts when she came out of the bathroom.
Blinding, that’s how beautiful she is. He stepped closer and dragged one hand over her collarbone. Like priceless art. He ran the other down her back and into her jeans, teasing the top of her panties with light touches. “You gonna get more of these sexy panties?”
Her gorgeous rosy flush bloomed across her cheeks. “Yes,” she said without hesitation and leaned into him. Easy, he thought, and he would treasure that easy for as long as she’d let him. His phone rang in his back pocket and he ignored it.
“We should get going then,” he said, but made no move to step away. She leaned into his hand on her neck. He loved the way she did that every time he touched her, like a cat basking in sunlight.
“Okay,” she breathed when his cell rang again.
“What?” he said into the phone, but he kept his hand on her ass and his eyes on hers. Jesus Christ, those eyes. “Right. No, I agree. Good. Yep, I’ll tell her. Shut up, Duggan, we’ll see you in a bit.” He cut the call.
“Connor says even though the gutters and roofs are shot, the walls have moisture inside them and all the wiring and plumbing needs to be updated, the foundations on the bakery building, your clinic and the two empty buildings on the end are solid. Looks like you might have yourself a renovation project, Ellie Blevins.”
Her smile grew wide, she sucked in a breath and her entire face broke out in happiness.
“What?” she screamed and launched herself into his arms.
“I think you heard me.” He grabbed on and rocked back to steady them. She wrapped her legs around him.
“Say it again,” she whispered, pulling his head closer.
“You bargained yourself into a renovation project of a historic district. Although,” he teased, “I didn’t get my full month of you trying to convince me. You still wanna hang out with me anyway, now that the convincing’s over?”
The velvet touch of her hands on his neck worked its way into his heart.
“Are we hanging out, Jackson?” she asked in that serious, but sexy-as-fuck voice of hers. “Is that what you call this?”
“Nope,” he said before taking her mouth in a hungry kiss and walking with her back to the bed. “It’s a hell of a lot more than that.”
“Jackson,” she sighed, pulling her lips away from his but nuzzling his neck. “You sure?”
And he knew she wasn’t asking about the renovation project. “Absolutely. You?”
“Mmm-hmm. But…I thought we had to get going?” She arched her body against his and he wondered who was needier.
He took his hand away from her hips, followed her down onto the bed and whipped her shirt off over her head and chucked it behind him.
“Change of plans,” he said before he tugged her bra down and dragged his teeth over her nipple.
She moaned and he kissed down her belly. “You like to change plans on me.”
He trailed his hands down her body, taking her jeans and panties with him, and as he slid back up, he removed her bra and she stretched her arms over her head, her skin flushed and waiting for him. “Think you like it when I do, Ellie.”
“Uh-huh,” she said and blinked that slow blink. It was debatable which was more gorgeous, the way she smiled or when she did that lazy, sexy blink.
He paused for a minute to take her in, roaming over every inch of her body with his eyes. “Remember last time how I took it nice and slow?”
She nodded, and her eyes lit with understanding.
“Now I’m going to take you fast. You ready?”
“Oh, yeah,” she whispered, and he was on her.
* * * *
Ellie found Jackson in the pet store at the mall when she’d finished shopping for clothes. It hadn’t taken her long—she still wasn’t a confident shopper and after grabbing a few basics, she thought she should schedule another girls’ shopping date. Her friends not only made it fun, but they’d helped her find outfits she liked on her body. She could admit, however, that she had had fun today picking out two short, sexy nighties with matching panties, one a deep red with black trim, the other a gorgeous, shimmery dark blue, like a mixture of the night sky and the ocean. Too bad one couldn’t survive on nighties alone. Hmm, Jackson might beg to differ.
She stared at him. She couldn’t believe that they were, well, whatever they were at the moment. Is it too soon to label it? Weeks ago, she might never even have noticed him, since she had been living inside her head unless she was at work, with her friends or her dogs. She smiled when she thought of the night he’d come crashing into her clinic, all pissed off and magnetic. How his face had battled between murderous and humorous the moment Chewie peed all over him. Now here he was buying out the entire pet store.
His cart overflowed. Two huge dog beds, dog food, puppy food, bowls, four kinds of treats, and he was tossing toys into the cart when he must have sensed her presence, because he caught her gaze and grinned. Holy cow! Jackson Kincaid smiling at her in the pet store while he shopped for stuff for their dogs. Our dogs, holy cow! She was going to hyperventilate. She couldn’t move. She felt parched and her face was tight with anxiety.
The look on his face changed to worry as he came to her. “What’s wrong, El?” He wrapped both arms around her and pulled her tight to him. “You’re freaked out all of a sudden.”
“I…you, me.” She waved her hands around the store.
“El.” He leaned in close. “Even without your words, I can see the panic on your face. Talk to me.”
His warmth soothed her. She felt safe in his arms. Not much had made her panic the last few years because she made sure she was in complete control of her life, which meant, like Nat had said, Ellie kept herself closed off from anyone but the few people she trusted. It was all safe in a way. But this, here with Jackson, being held by him, ever since the first time he’d put his arms around her, had made her feel a buzz, but had also given her a sense of peace. Was this what real safety felt like? Healthy, put-her-heart-out-there-and-feel-love kind of safety? She didn’t know anything, except her emotions had felt beehive crazy these past few weeks. Old memories, old scars and old insecurities taunted her.
“El,” Jackson said, giving her a gentle squeeze. “You’re freaking me out now. What the fuck, babe?”
“I like you.” She wheezed out the words and stretched up on her tiptoes to be even closer to him.
He smiled and relaxed. “Think we established we like each other last night, this morning and again this morning,” he half-teased.
“No.” She leaned even closer. “I mean, I like you.”
His face got serious then and she locked onto his gaze. “Good. I like you too. Like you in my bed, like you on my couch, in my kitchen, sitting next to me at the pub sipping tea, ’cause you’re shy of drinking again. I like you describing the historical home registration process to me and explaining Chewie’s devotion to me. Thought we covered all this, El.” He studied her face. “Guess I need to up my game a bit and keep telling you, showing you. Love how passionate and smart you are. Crazy about that fucking cake. Really like your warm, curvy body wrapped around mine. Fucking love the way you laugh. We established this is more than us hanging out. Can’t wait to see where this is going, because I’ve never liked anyone as much as you before, Ellie. Got it?”
It was all too much so she nodded and took a few deep breaths. “I freaked out,” she whispered. “I don’t usually freak out. I might weep at a story of a boy growing up without his family in foster care, but I’m not necessarily a freak-out kinda girl.”
He chuckled. “Got that, babe. But it’s safe to say I like why you did it. Now, you wanna help me pick out dog toys for our pups?”
Our pups. Maybe in Jackson’s arms was exactly where she belonged. Maybe she needed to trust in him and in herself. Maybe this, whatever was between them that was risky, was also ‘fucking phenomenal.’ She peeked around him at the cart. “It appears you’ve got that covered, honey,” she said and smiled up at him. Life was strange and hard some days and others it sparkled like the sun over the ocean.
Chapter Twenty-Four
They lay tangled together on the couch. Jackson’s back was to the inside. Ellie faced him, and he was thoroughly enjoying kissing her. He loved how she softened in his arms every time he kissed her, how she relaxed into the connection they had. A connection he’d never had before, and one he did not plan on letting go.
He hadn’t been lying when he’d told her that he wanted to see where this was going…but he hadn’t been one hundred percent forthcoming either. As in, he already knew where he wanted this to go. Now he had to get her on the same page. He’d learned she still needed his reassurance. She wanted to trust him but part of her held back. He figured some of that had to do with how quickly they’d connected, and she, with all her openness and honesty, had given him so much. Then he’d been a dick and slammed the door on her trust. Thankfully, she’d given him a second chance.
He sensed her past also made her gun shy when it came to trust. Jackson had to handle her with care, but he wanted to know everything about her. And now he had to find the balance between making her his for good without freaking her out by going at warp speed. He was going to have fun finding the perfect balance.
“Like having you here,” he said, pulling his mouth away from hers. She opened her eyes and blinked. Fuck, that sexy dazed look of hers, like she lost herself in their kiss. She nuzzled in closer to his body and fuck, but he liked that too. Once she felt comfortable, she was not shy at all. She was all in.
“So fucking sweet,” he said. “Loved my cake. Where’d you learn to bake like that?”
“The Heelys taught me.”
“The owners of the bakery?”
“Yeah, honey.”
“Are they family?” He pulled one of her legs over his and rubbed her back.
Ellie was serious now. The haziness his kisses gave her had cleared. “Not blood family, but yeah. I didn’t know anyone when I got here. I applied for a job and they helped me more than I helped them. I had just gotten into school and needed to find part-time work and a place to stay. During the interview they fed me all these delicious pastries, and I found myself telling them more than I’d planned and the next thing you know, they’d hired me, given me a place to stay and taught me how to make all the delicious things they sell.” She kept her arms around him while she spoke, once in a while tracing her fingers on his neck. He wondered if she was aware of how much he liked it when she did that.
“They never felt like bosses. They were like the good kind of family, and I’d never had that. I grabbed on. You know?” Her voice had gotten softer. He touched her forehead with his, letting her know with his body that he understood.
“They lost a daughter years ago to cancer. She was eleven. I don’t kid myself into thinking I replaced their daughter. I wouldn’t even want to do that, but I think we filled a need for each other.”
He could guess without even hearing the Heelys’ side that El had brought light back into their lives.
“Glad you have them.”
“Me too, honey.”
“Best cake I’ve ever had, babe. Can’t wait to taste what you make next,” he said, lightening the mood a bit.
“I could make you dinner?”
“Nope,” he said, rolling her under him and kissing her collarbone. She arched up to his touch and wrapped one leg around his.
“Nope?” she whispered, her breath catching.
“I’m cooking for you tonight.”
She opened her eyes wide. “You are? You cook?”
“Yep,” he answered and snaked his fingers up under her shirt. “Never had anyone to cook for, though. I’m bettin’ I’m gonna enjoy it.”
He kissed her belly and she let out an “Mmm-hmm.” Then she was gone again, lost in their connection. Fuck, but he loved that.
“Hungry?” He moved down her body and started to peel her jeans off.
“Oh, yes,” she breathed. She moved to help him get her clothes off when the doorbell rang.
Jackson stilled, glowered over the edge of the couch in the direction of the front door. “Fuck. Duggan,” he said and rested his head on her. “Invited him, or rather he invited himself over for dinner tonight. Forgot all about it.” He pulled her jeans back up and righted her shirt while she stared at him with the strangest expression on her face. Cute but strange. “El?”
“Wow!” She fell back onto the couch, covering her face with her hands. “That’s twice now…from your touch I thought I might…and…no such luck.”
“Darlin’, you are cute as fuck, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You.” She gestured to his body. “All of you touching me, talking to me in that sexy voice, getting me all worked up—”
“Twice?” He twisted his head and grinned at her.
“Last night when you first came home. My dream was amazing. It got even better when I realized it wasn’t a dream, but you—”
“I passed out on you?” He leaned down close. “Forgot about that, babe. Was on my way to apologize for mauling you in my inebriated state when I found your cake and saw you standing in the hallway looking like the sexiest guardian angel I’ve ever seen. Then I got carried away.”
