Salvaging Love, page 12
Ellie tried to follow Duggan’s words. She was afraid of all that encompassed Jackson. Not afraid of him. But what the heck did Duggan mean, scared, hit him and fun? “Well, you appear capable of reading my mind? But I have no idea what you’re talking about. Maybe we could move on to the disaster of my apartment?” she asked to avoid any further analysis of her and Jackson. Shit! And shit again, she couldn’t believe there was a her and Jackson.
“Right. Well, Dr. Blevins,” he said in a serious tone, but one with a hint of tease to it. She appreciated that. He gestured through the apartment as he spoke. “The roof is shot. Same with the gutters. We tore out the damaged walls, because we needed to see what’s inside them anyway. And most of your stuff is unsalvageable. The bakery will close for a few weeks while we clean and see how affected the walls, wiring and plumbing are, but they should be able to open back up in less than a month.”
“Tear out walls a good thing? Unsalvageable? The French Connection has to close? Stop sounding downright giddy or I might swear at you again.”
And this time Duggan burst out laughing. “Yeah. You are the ray of sunshine that man needs in his life.”
Ellie beamed at him, but then she thought about this morning. “You two have been friends for a while, haven’t you?”
“He’s like a brother to me, like a favorite brother.”
She debated for a second because she honestly had no idea what she was doing in this relationship, but as she’d told Natalie, with Jackson she wanted to try.
“He, ah… I’m staying at his house,” she started. The blush rose up her neck and covered her cheeks.
“He told me last night when he called. I’m glad,” Duggan said. He crossed his arms and smiled at her. Two simple words, I’m glad, delivered an entire story full of background and secrets that should come to light and warmth.
“He was gone this morning when I woke up. Left me a note,” she said quietly.
“What the…” Duggan’s smile faded while his face hardened, then understanding dawned on his face. “Shit. This is the weekend.” He scrubbed his hands over his face and sighed. Oh, yes, there are secrets. “He didn’t leave you leave you. I mean I’m pretty certain he’d never treat you like that, Ellie.”
“No.” She smiled to let him know she wasn’t pissed off because she knew in her heart Jackson hadn’t gone away to hurt her on purpose. “I know it’s none of my business and I don’t want you to break the friendship code or anything, but it seemed like he was upset about something significant.”
“He is,” Duggan said, and he seemed to be studying her and coming to a conclusion. “It’s not mine to share, Ellie, or I would because he means the world to me. I can see how important you’re becoming to him, and that man deserves happiness. All I can tell you is that today is his birthday.”
“What?” she said, shocked. “His birthday? You say it like it’s…horrible.”
“To Jackson it is.”
Ellie sucked in her breath. “What?” she whispered.
“Yeah.” Duggan nodded, but didn’t elaborate. “Maybe he’ll talk to you about it, but it might take him a while. He doesn’t trust easily. And, unfortunately, I think the person he trusts the least is himself. What I’m about to say is none of my business, but I’m going to risk it. He needs a gem like you, Ellie, someone kind, gorgeous from the inside out, and someone patient.”
“I’m patient,” she said, touching on the easiest compliment to handle. “Okay.” She took another deep breath, as if they’d settled an agreement and signed a contract. “Well, I guess since my entire apartment and everything in it is headed for the dump and there are too many hot men walking around for me to concentrate, I should get back to work.”
Duggan winked at her. “I’ll let you know how the rest of the structure is once we get inside. And we’ll see if salvaging all these buildings is in the cards. None of the others had leaks.”
“Sounds good.” She took a slow glance over her place one last time and offered Duggan a huge thanks to encompass all the aspects of her life he was helping with.
She had a full staff in today and often that meant more managerial skills and delegating and checking up on her employees, not because she didn’t trust them, but because they were learning too. And when it came to the animals they treated, a second eye always helped. Today, however, most of their duties involved simple checkups, which left her with time to think. Her mind flew all over the place. Her apartment. Sex with Jackson. She couldn’t even go there right now. Everyone would know her thoughts by looking at her face. Then there was Jackson himself and the note, and everything Connor had told her this morning.
He’d left without saying goodbye or waking her, and while she’d been hoping for his warmth this morning, she put aside her own feelings because there was something so much bigger going on here for Jackson. He’d left town on his birthday, his birthday, which Duggan claimed wasn’t a good day for Jackson. Being with him felt better than any relationship she’d ever had with another human, and she wanted him to trust her too, to feel safe with her. She could take his burdens from him. If he’d let her.
A birthday. Ellie kept circling back to that. Maybe she could make this birthday not so horrible. From experience she didn’t know many problems that couldn’t be helped with a delicious cake. For the first time that day, she smiled because she knew exactly where to go for help.
Chapter Twenty-One
“Okay, you two, time to settle down. And no, you cannot have cake. Well, maybe a little lick of the spatula.” Ellie nudged Chewie away from his attempt to climb her leg and he landed on Buffy. Her big dog was spread out on Jackson’s kitchen floor, pawing Chewie and swatting him. Teasing him, but too tired to put in much effort. Chewie, however, didn’t seem to mind Buffy’s laziness at all. The little pup had enough energy for ten dogs and was jumping and darting and barking at Buffy’s attempts, while simultaneously trying to climb Ellie’s legs. She finished filling the last of the round pans with the yellow mixture that she’d infused with a tiny bit of passion fruit extract, and set them in the oven to bake. She had no idea what Jackson’s tastes were when it came to cake, so she decided to be bold and if he didn’t like it, she’d eat it.
The frosting had passion fruit in it too, with lemon zest for hints of color and a bit more tartness. Once the cakes were cooked and cooled, she could frost the layers and build the cake, hopefully after the dogs were asleep. “Let’s go play ball, boys and girls. That should wear you out.”
Eventually, Chewie did crash, draped over Buffy’s front paws right by the larger dog’s neck. But, boy, the crazies he expended before he dropped off to sleep, “If I had half your energy, cutie,” Ellie said while she finished decorating the small two-tiered cake. Saturday night and the house was quiet. Dark except for the kitchen. She’d made herself pasta, and drunk a glass of wine. She enjoyed baking and cooking in Jackson’s kitchen, but she’d prefer it if he came back.
And now that the cake was finished, the kitchen clean and the night settled in around her, she worried she’d made a mistake. What if he got angry with her? Dang, she hadn’t thought of that. She’d been hell-bent on trying to make his birthday a happy thing, but she had no idea why it was awful to begin with.
It felt strange to be in his house, use his things, sleep in Jackson’s bed without him, but after the last week of mental and physical exhaustion, she didn’t spend much time worrying, especially once she climbed under the covers, and imagined his warm strong body wrapped around hers.
Wow! Ellie excelled at sleeping. And she’d always had good dreams. But she’d never had such an amazing-felt-absolutely-real dream as this before.
She was cozy-warm and…aroused. Maybe she should do this more often, tell herself what kind of a dream she wanted to have before she fell asleep, and boom, she’d have it. Like right now. She’d gone to bed hoping to be wrapped up in Jackson and right now it felt like his arms were touching her. One wrapped under her body as she slept on her side and the other one found its way under her tank top to caress her breasts.
“Mmm,” she mumbled and stretched out against his hard body right behind hers. She loved his body, his muscles, his dark woodsy scent. She’d wanted more time the other night to explore him, to take in all that was Jackson Kincaid, but they’d practically devoured each other before they’d both fallen asleep.
“El,” his luscious deep voice rumbled in her ear. Best. Dream. Ever. She rubbed her body up against the one behind her again.
“You stayed,” the dream Jackson’s voice said, one hand caressing her thigh. “Love this soft body. You smell like sugar and vanilla. Love coming home to you in my bed.” His warm breath and his voice on her ear unraveled her. Then he reached under the hem of her sleep shorts and found her hot, wet, needy core. Gentle at first, he explored and teased at the same time.
“Best dream ever,” she sighed when he pressed inside her and the hand under her reached around and cupped her breast.
“No dream,” the voice said. He turned her and took her mouth in a hot kiss. He moved his head only to kiss her neck, her chest.
“Jackson?” Her eyes shot open at the realization that she wasn’t dreaming. He was home. And jeesh he could kiss! And his hands on her body were better than a dream any day. “You’re home?” She tried to convey a happy tone, but it felt way more like need. God, he made her crazy with want. Her whole body sizzled every time he touched her.
“Came back early,” he said and kissed her again. She tasted him then, rich deep bourbon. A lot of it, she thought, coming more fully awake. “Missed you.” He nuzzled into her neck. “Couldn’t stop thinking of you, El. Don’t go,” he said, the last words out of his mouth before he fell asleep.
“Oh, my God!” she breathed out. A very drunk, naked Jackson was passed out, half on her, while her body still hummed from his touch.
“Uhm, Jackson?” She tried to wake him, but the weight of him settled over her. Yep, no question about it, he was out. “Where’d you go, honey?” Ellie asked, knowing he couldn’t hear her. “You can tell me about it, you know. I wish you would. Maybe I could help ease your pain. Maybe someday.” She couldn’t have budged him even if she’d had a forklift. She wrapped her arms around him and tried to calm her heart and her body. Maybe her touch could seep into him while he slept and prove to him that he was home and he was safe.
* * * *
“What the fuck?” Jackson said. Something warm and wiggly draped over the back of his neck and licked under his chin. “Chewie!” The dog seemed half asleep, fluttering nearly closed eyes, his tiny pink tongue shooting out once in a while to give Jackson a kiss on his chin and cheek.
He turned his head and saw Ellie’s neck and face right there under him sleeping, her face to the side and her golden ruby curls all over the pillow. Fuck! He’d come home last night, let the dogs out, proceeded to get wasted on bourbon in his office because he was trying to stay away from her, then, he vaguely remembered, his drunk ass had changed his mind and he’d wanted to crawl into bed with her. Which was what he’d done.
He called himself every name in the book while Chewie decided to fully wake up and start nipping at his fingers. He grabbed the pup, carefully climbed off Ellie, dragged on his jeans with one hand and ushered both dogs out of the bedroom and downstairs to let them out. Hopefully before this crazy puppy peed all over the place.
A pink hint of light sliced across the horizon at five-thirty in the morning while Jackson stood in his bare feet on the cold grass and tossed the ball for Chewie. Damn dog could hardly see the ball, which didn’t prevent him from throwing his body through the air at Mach speed to retrieve it. If he’d been in the mood, he’d have laughed at the hilarity. The poor pup had so much growing to do that it was as if his hind legs ran faster than his front ones and tripped him up every single time.
Buffy rested against his legs while he scratched behind her ears. It was going to be a gorgeous day. His hell weekend was over. During this visit he’d realized he couldn’t do it anymore. He didn’t know what he should do, but visiting ghosts wasn’t it. Sensing his feelings on the matter had to do with Ellie, he’d let his mind wander to her. He couldn’t get back to her fast enough. Of course, on the drive home he’d talked himself into believing she wouldn’t be there. He should have been relieved or happy when he’d pulled up and seen her SUV, but instead he’d felt fear. He’d sat in his study with a bottle of bourbon to chase those fears away. Fears over what he felt for her, fears over his past and figuring out how to deal with it, how to put it to rest so he could move the fuck on, fears of her leaving. Jesus Christ, he hadn’t felt like a coward in a long time.
But she was here—she’d stayed. Maybe there was hope because damn! It had felt phenomenal to find her in his bed. “All right, you two. Enjoy the morning outside while I climb back in bed with your mama.”
He left the dogs outside in the brightening sun, cleaned up the liquor he’d spilled in his office, that dark hole of a room. It was where he spent most of his time when he was in his house, one penance after another. He’d had the living room, kitchen, dining room and bathrooms all redone when he’d moved in, but he hardly ever enjoyed those rooms he’d had designed for comfort, for family. Having El there the other night, seeing her in his house—he realized he wanted her to stay, to see her there all the time in every room. Regardless of how angry she might be with him, he was ready to talk.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The dogs and Jackson were gone when she woke again. Okay, one of these times I’d like to wake up not alone in this huge bed, she thought, going in search of her dogs and her man. God, I hope he’s not gone again. But she needn’t have worried because when she got downstairs and stepped into the dark hallway, she heard him.
“What the fuck?” he said in more of a growl than a question.
“Jackson?” The dangerous scowl on his face stopped her in her tracks. “Umm…”
“You made me a cake?”
Well, yes, duh was what she wanted to say, but the quiet intensity of his words made her pause. She nearly got distracted by his amazing naked chest that she still wanted to get to know better, but the silence and her nerves got the better of her.
“Connor told me about your birthday. I’m sorry if I… I thought… I wanted to do something nice for you, and I…” Yep, there she went babbling away in her nervousness when every sign coming off Jackson’s body told her to Be. Quiet. Or more like Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Because well, he did like to swear.
Then it wasn’t silent anymore as he stalked to her, lifted her and took her mouth like a savage taking his last drink. Hands, his warm hands held her up and his entire body pressed against hers and she couldn’t keep up with his kiss, the way his tongue savored her mouth. He trailed his nose and lips up her neck and whispered, “You made me a cake.”
Damn, she loved that, his lips on her neck, the sharp scrape of his stubble, but more, the way his words beat against her throat. She put her hand on his head to keep him there. “Yes, honey. Happy birthday.” And his entire body went taut like a bow.
“Wrap your legs around me,” he demanded. She didn’t hesitate and was glad she didn’t when he invaded her mouth with his tongue. She grabbed his shoulders and her mouth melted into his. He carried her over to the counter and sat her down, then used his fingers to grab a hunk of cake and feed it to her. She took the bite, still freaking way the heck out, but not in a bad way anymore with his pulsing body closing hers in and his gaze, which said he’d never seen anything more beautiful before.
Before she could finish the bite, he dragged her body to his ravaging her mouth again. “Jackson!” she cried, trying to pull away. “I have cake in my mouth.”
“I know. Best fucking cake I’ve ever had. On you it tastes fucking phenomenal.”
“Oh!” And she melted back into him. He lifted her around him again and carried her upstairs, drugging her with his kisses on her mouth, her chin, her neck. When his tongue sampled her neck, she arched forward, rocking him even closer to her.
He rested her on the bed, pulled his jeans off then prowled after her. In one second he had her tank top off and his scorching, powerful hands dragging up her skin had her on fire again. Before she could miss his touch, when he tossed her top away, his hands were back peeling her sleep shorts off while at the same time he kissed down her body. Jesus! The perfect feel of his lips on her skin mixed with the rough scrape of his whiskers while his fingers memorized her body. She lost all thoughts, all nervousness, all everything except feel and need.
“Jackson,” she moaned. He rolled them over so she was on him. Her sensitive nipples rubbed on his chest. She felt his cock, insistent right where she needed it. He reached into his bedside table for a condom.
“Gonna take my time with you. I keep telling myself I’m gonna take my time with you, but, El, you make me lose control.”
She didn’t need him to take his time. She couldn’t bear it. “I need you.” He slid the condom down. He gripped her waist. She rubbed her core over him, teasing them both. Her head fell back at the sensation and he surged into her body, joining them. Yes! The feel of him… She arched her back and took him deeper as if she couldn’t get enough.
Finally his chest was hers to explore and she roamed her hands over his muscles, relishing his taut body and smooth skin. He was one contrast after another. All the while he pulled her up and thrust her back down on him, pressing their centers together with each surge. And he watched them, where his cock disappeared in her with lust and desire. Every part of her body tuned in to his touch, like lightning and thunder, one racing after the other. An amazing rush.
Then he rocked her world even more. He lifted his head and gazed into her eyes. “Never had a cake before.” He surged in, never breaking eye contact.
“Honey,” she whispered, placing her hand to his cheek. He caressed her skin while he spoke, sending sparks all over her.
“Not since I was a kid. Too little and too much dark in between then and now to remember.” He threaded his hand through her hair and pulled her down closer. His body kept up the delicious pace that was going to make her come any moment.
“Right. Well, Dr. Blevins,” he said in a serious tone, but one with a hint of tease to it. She appreciated that. He gestured through the apartment as he spoke. “The roof is shot. Same with the gutters. We tore out the damaged walls, because we needed to see what’s inside them anyway. And most of your stuff is unsalvageable. The bakery will close for a few weeks while we clean and see how affected the walls, wiring and plumbing are, but they should be able to open back up in less than a month.”
“Tear out walls a good thing? Unsalvageable? The French Connection has to close? Stop sounding downright giddy or I might swear at you again.”
And this time Duggan burst out laughing. “Yeah. You are the ray of sunshine that man needs in his life.”
Ellie beamed at him, but then she thought about this morning. “You two have been friends for a while, haven’t you?”
“He’s like a brother to me, like a favorite brother.”
She debated for a second because she honestly had no idea what she was doing in this relationship, but as she’d told Natalie, with Jackson she wanted to try.
“He, ah… I’m staying at his house,” she started. The blush rose up her neck and covered her cheeks.
“He told me last night when he called. I’m glad,” Duggan said. He crossed his arms and smiled at her. Two simple words, I’m glad, delivered an entire story full of background and secrets that should come to light and warmth.
“He was gone this morning when I woke up. Left me a note,” she said quietly.
“What the…” Duggan’s smile faded while his face hardened, then understanding dawned on his face. “Shit. This is the weekend.” He scrubbed his hands over his face and sighed. Oh, yes, there are secrets. “He didn’t leave you leave you. I mean I’m pretty certain he’d never treat you like that, Ellie.”
“No.” She smiled to let him know she wasn’t pissed off because she knew in her heart Jackson hadn’t gone away to hurt her on purpose. “I know it’s none of my business and I don’t want you to break the friendship code or anything, but it seemed like he was upset about something significant.”
“He is,” Duggan said, and he seemed to be studying her and coming to a conclusion. “It’s not mine to share, Ellie, or I would because he means the world to me. I can see how important you’re becoming to him, and that man deserves happiness. All I can tell you is that today is his birthday.”
“What?” she said, shocked. “His birthday? You say it like it’s…horrible.”
“To Jackson it is.”
Ellie sucked in her breath. “What?” she whispered.
“Yeah.” Duggan nodded, but didn’t elaborate. “Maybe he’ll talk to you about it, but it might take him a while. He doesn’t trust easily. And, unfortunately, I think the person he trusts the least is himself. What I’m about to say is none of my business, but I’m going to risk it. He needs a gem like you, Ellie, someone kind, gorgeous from the inside out, and someone patient.”
“I’m patient,” she said, touching on the easiest compliment to handle. “Okay.” She took another deep breath, as if they’d settled an agreement and signed a contract. “Well, I guess since my entire apartment and everything in it is headed for the dump and there are too many hot men walking around for me to concentrate, I should get back to work.”
Duggan winked at her. “I’ll let you know how the rest of the structure is once we get inside. And we’ll see if salvaging all these buildings is in the cards. None of the others had leaks.”
“Sounds good.” She took a slow glance over her place one last time and offered Duggan a huge thanks to encompass all the aspects of her life he was helping with.
She had a full staff in today and often that meant more managerial skills and delegating and checking up on her employees, not because she didn’t trust them, but because they were learning too. And when it came to the animals they treated, a second eye always helped. Today, however, most of their duties involved simple checkups, which left her with time to think. Her mind flew all over the place. Her apartment. Sex with Jackson. She couldn’t even go there right now. Everyone would know her thoughts by looking at her face. Then there was Jackson himself and the note, and everything Connor had told her this morning.
He’d left without saying goodbye or waking her, and while she’d been hoping for his warmth this morning, she put aside her own feelings because there was something so much bigger going on here for Jackson. He’d left town on his birthday, his birthday, which Duggan claimed wasn’t a good day for Jackson. Being with him felt better than any relationship she’d ever had with another human, and she wanted him to trust her too, to feel safe with her. She could take his burdens from him. If he’d let her.
A birthday. Ellie kept circling back to that. Maybe she could make this birthday not so horrible. From experience she didn’t know many problems that couldn’t be helped with a delicious cake. For the first time that day, she smiled because she knew exactly where to go for help.
Chapter Twenty-One
“Okay, you two, time to settle down. And no, you cannot have cake. Well, maybe a little lick of the spatula.” Ellie nudged Chewie away from his attempt to climb her leg and he landed on Buffy. Her big dog was spread out on Jackson’s kitchen floor, pawing Chewie and swatting him. Teasing him, but too tired to put in much effort. Chewie, however, didn’t seem to mind Buffy’s laziness at all. The little pup had enough energy for ten dogs and was jumping and darting and barking at Buffy’s attempts, while simultaneously trying to climb Ellie’s legs. She finished filling the last of the round pans with the yellow mixture that she’d infused with a tiny bit of passion fruit extract, and set them in the oven to bake. She had no idea what Jackson’s tastes were when it came to cake, so she decided to be bold and if he didn’t like it, she’d eat it.
The frosting had passion fruit in it too, with lemon zest for hints of color and a bit more tartness. Once the cakes were cooked and cooled, she could frost the layers and build the cake, hopefully after the dogs were asleep. “Let’s go play ball, boys and girls. That should wear you out.”
Eventually, Chewie did crash, draped over Buffy’s front paws right by the larger dog’s neck. But, boy, the crazies he expended before he dropped off to sleep, “If I had half your energy, cutie,” Ellie said while she finished decorating the small two-tiered cake. Saturday night and the house was quiet. Dark except for the kitchen. She’d made herself pasta, and drunk a glass of wine. She enjoyed baking and cooking in Jackson’s kitchen, but she’d prefer it if he came back.
And now that the cake was finished, the kitchen clean and the night settled in around her, she worried she’d made a mistake. What if he got angry with her? Dang, she hadn’t thought of that. She’d been hell-bent on trying to make his birthday a happy thing, but she had no idea why it was awful to begin with.
It felt strange to be in his house, use his things, sleep in Jackson’s bed without him, but after the last week of mental and physical exhaustion, she didn’t spend much time worrying, especially once she climbed under the covers, and imagined his warm strong body wrapped around hers.
Wow! Ellie excelled at sleeping. And she’d always had good dreams. But she’d never had such an amazing-felt-absolutely-real dream as this before.
She was cozy-warm and…aroused. Maybe she should do this more often, tell herself what kind of a dream she wanted to have before she fell asleep, and boom, she’d have it. Like right now. She’d gone to bed hoping to be wrapped up in Jackson and right now it felt like his arms were touching her. One wrapped under her body as she slept on her side and the other one found its way under her tank top to caress her breasts.
“Mmm,” she mumbled and stretched out against his hard body right behind hers. She loved his body, his muscles, his dark woodsy scent. She’d wanted more time the other night to explore him, to take in all that was Jackson Kincaid, but they’d practically devoured each other before they’d both fallen asleep.
“El,” his luscious deep voice rumbled in her ear. Best. Dream. Ever. She rubbed her body up against the one behind her again.
“You stayed,” the dream Jackson’s voice said, one hand caressing her thigh. “Love this soft body. You smell like sugar and vanilla. Love coming home to you in my bed.” His warm breath and his voice on her ear unraveled her. Then he reached under the hem of her sleep shorts and found her hot, wet, needy core. Gentle at first, he explored and teased at the same time.
“Best dream ever,” she sighed when he pressed inside her and the hand under her reached around and cupped her breast.
“No dream,” the voice said. He turned her and took her mouth in a hot kiss. He moved his head only to kiss her neck, her chest.
“Jackson?” Her eyes shot open at the realization that she wasn’t dreaming. He was home. And jeesh he could kiss! And his hands on her body were better than a dream any day. “You’re home?” She tried to convey a happy tone, but it felt way more like need. God, he made her crazy with want. Her whole body sizzled every time he touched her.
“Came back early,” he said and kissed her again. She tasted him then, rich deep bourbon. A lot of it, she thought, coming more fully awake. “Missed you.” He nuzzled into her neck. “Couldn’t stop thinking of you, El. Don’t go,” he said, the last words out of his mouth before he fell asleep.
“Oh, my God!” she breathed out. A very drunk, naked Jackson was passed out, half on her, while her body still hummed from his touch.
“Uhm, Jackson?” She tried to wake him, but the weight of him settled over her. Yep, no question about it, he was out. “Where’d you go, honey?” Ellie asked, knowing he couldn’t hear her. “You can tell me about it, you know. I wish you would. Maybe I could help ease your pain. Maybe someday.” She couldn’t have budged him even if she’d had a forklift. She wrapped her arms around him and tried to calm her heart and her body. Maybe her touch could seep into him while he slept and prove to him that he was home and he was safe.
* * * *
“What the fuck?” Jackson said. Something warm and wiggly draped over the back of his neck and licked under his chin. “Chewie!” The dog seemed half asleep, fluttering nearly closed eyes, his tiny pink tongue shooting out once in a while to give Jackson a kiss on his chin and cheek.
He turned his head and saw Ellie’s neck and face right there under him sleeping, her face to the side and her golden ruby curls all over the pillow. Fuck! He’d come home last night, let the dogs out, proceeded to get wasted on bourbon in his office because he was trying to stay away from her, then, he vaguely remembered, his drunk ass had changed his mind and he’d wanted to crawl into bed with her. Which was what he’d done.
He called himself every name in the book while Chewie decided to fully wake up and start nipping at his fingers. He grabbed the pup, carefully climbed off Ellie, dragged on his jeans with one hand and ushered both dogs out of the bedroom and downstairs to let them out. Hopefully before this crazy puppy peed all over the place.
A pink hint of light sliced across the horizon at five-thirty in the morning while Jackson stood in his bare feet on the cold grass and tossed the ball for Chewie. Damn dog could hardly see the ball, which didn’t prevent him from throwing his body through the air at Mach speed to retrieve it. If he’d been in the mood, he’d have laughed at the hilarity. The poor pup had so much growing to do that it was as if his hind legs ran faster than his front ones and tripped him up every single time.
Buffy rested against his legs while he scratched behind her ears. It was going to be a gorgeous day. His hell weekend was over. During this visit he’d realized he couldn’t do it anymore. He didn’t know what he should do, but visiting ghosts wasn’t it. Sensing his feelings on the matter had to do with Ellie, he’d let his mind wander to her. He couldn’t get back to her fast enough. Of course, on the drive home he’d talked himself into believing she wouldn’t be there. He should have been relieved or happy when he’d pulled up and seen her SUV, but instead he’d felt fear. He’d sat in his study with a bottle of bourbon to chase those fears away. Fears over what he felt for her, fears over his past and figuring out how to deal with it, how to put it to rest so he could move the fuck on, fears of her leaving. Jesus Christ, he hadn’t felt like a coward in a long time.
But she was here—she’d stayed. Maybe there was hope because damn! It had felt phenomenal to find her in his bed. “All right, you two. Enjoy the morning outside while I climb back in bed with your mama.”
He left the dogs outside in the brightening sun, cleaned up the liquor he’d spilled in his office, that dark hole of a room. It was where he spent most of his time when he was in his house, one penance after another. He’d had the living room, kitchen, dining room and bathrooms all redone when he’d moved in, but he hardly ever enjoyed those rooms he’d had designed for comfort, for family. Having El there the other night, seeing her in his house—he realized he wanted her to stay, to see her there all the time in every room. Regardless of how angry she might be with him, he was ready to talk.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The dogs and Jackson were gone when she woke again. Okay, one of these times I’d like to wake up not alone in this huge bed, she thought, going in search of her dogs and her man. God, I hope he’s not gone again. But she needn’t have worried because when she got downstairs and stepped into the dark hallway, she heard him.
“What the fuck?” he said in more of a growl than a question.
“Jackson?” The dangerous scowl on his face stopped her in her tracks. “Umm…”
“You made me a cake?”
Well, yes, duh was what she wanted to say, but the quiet intensity of his words made her pause. She nearly got distracted by his amazing naked chest that she still wanted to get to know better, but the silence and her nerves got the better of her.
“Connor told me about your birthday. I’m sorry if I… I thought… I wanted to do something nice for you, and I…” Yep, there she went babbling away in her nervousness when every sign coming off Jackson’s body told her to Be. Quiet. Or more like Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Because well, he did like to swear.
Then it wasn’t silent anymore as he stalked to her, lifted her and took her mouth like a savage taking his last drink. Hands, his warm hands held her up and his entire body pressed against hers and she couldn’t keep up with his kiss, the way his tongue savored her mouth. He trailed his nose and lips up her neck and whispered, “You made me a cake.”
Damn, she loved that, his lips on her neck, the sharp scrape of his stubble, but more, the way his words beat against her throat. She put her hand on his head to keep him there. “Yes, honey. Happy birthday.” And his entire body went taut like a bow.
“Wrap your legs around me,” he demanded. She didn’t hesitate and was glad she didn’t when he invaded her mouth with his tongue. She grabbed his shoulders and her mouth melted into his. He carried her over to the counter and sat her down, then used his fingers to grab a hunk of cake and feed it to her. She took the bite, still freaking way the heck out, but not in a bad way anymore with his pulsing body closing hers in and his gaze, which said he’d never seen anything more beautiful before.
Before she could finish the bite, he dragged her body to his ravaging her mouth again. “Jackson!” she cried, trying to pull away. “I have cake in my mouth.”
“I know. Best fucking cake I’ve ever had. On you it tastes fucking phenomenal.”
“Oh!” And she melted back into him. He lifted her around him again and carried her upstairs, drugging her with his kisses on her mouth, her chin, her neck. When his tongue sampled her neck, she arched forward, rocking him even closer to her.
He rested her on the bed, pulled his jeans off then prowled after her. In one second he had her tank top off and his scorching, powerful hands dragging up her skin had her on fire again. Before she could miss his touch, when he tossed her top away, his hands were back peeling her sleep shorts off while at the same time he kissed down her body. Jesus! The perfect feel of his lips on her skin mixed with the rough scrape of his whiskers while his fingers memorized her body. She lost all thoughts, all nervousness, all everything except feel and need.
“Jackson,” she moaned. He rolled them over so she was on him. Her sensitive nipples rubbed on his chest. She felt his cock, insistent right where she needed it. He reached into his bedside table for a condom.
“Gonna take my time with you. I keep telling myself I’m gonna take my time with you, but, El, you make me lose control.”
She didn’t need him to take his time. She couldn’t bear it. “I need you.” He slid the condom down. He gripped her waist. She rubbed her core over him, teasing them both. Her head fell back at the sensation and he surged into her body, joining them. Yes! The feel of him… She arched her back and took him deeper as if she couldn’t get enough.
Finally his chest was hers to explore and she roamed her hands over his muscles, relishing his taut body and smooth skin. He was one contrast after another. All the while he pulled her up and thrust her back down on him, pressing their centers together with each surge. And he watched them, where his cock disappeared in her with lust and desire. Every part of her body tuned in to his touch, like lightning and thunder, one racing after the other. An amazing rush.
Then he rocked her world even more. He lifted his head and gazed into her eyes. “Never had a cake before.” He surged in, never breaking eye contact.
“Honey,” she whispered, placing her hand to his cheek. He caressed her skin while he spoke, sending sparks all over her.
“Not since I was a kid. Too little and too much dark in between then and now to remember.” He threaded his hand through her hair and pulled her down closer. His body kept up the delicious pace that was going to make her come any moment.
