Loving Sarah, page 6
part #3 of The Caversham Chronicles Series
She finished rearranging that drawer and started on the other. When she’d finished those, she quickly did the same to the clothes press and bureau. Two hours after she’d begun, and just as she finished her chore, someone knocked on the door.
Grabbing the book, she stuffed it under the pillow and smoothed flat the bed cover, before moving to the door. “Yes?”
“I was wondering if you needed anything,” the captain said.
Sarah slid the bolt open and allowed him in, unable to look him in the eye after seeing the outrageous depictions in the book. Her imagination began to take hold of her conscious thought, and images of her and this captain flitted through her mind, causing her to flush with embarrassment.
His eyebrows arched as he noticed the difference in the room. He seemed pleased that she’d righted the space after having torn it asunder the night before in search of the unwanted visitor.
“The cabin looks better than it did when last I saw it.”
Sarah nodded, her gaze scanning to room, trying to imagine it as he saw it. “I felt it only right that I clean the mess I’d made. And I’ve taken to reorganizing your bins beneath the benches and the drawers beneath the bed. Also your dresser and clothes press.” With her shoulders back and chin high, she was proud of the job she’d done. “Everything is neat and orderly now,” she added.
“Did you not think that I might find your interference an invasion of my privacy?”
“Not at all. I cannot think clearly with clutter up to my eyeballs, as it was. And I don’t know how you do.”
“I knew where everything was.”
“And you will relearn where everything is now.” At his look she wanted to laugh but held back not wanting to raise his ire. “It’s all in the same general vicinity of where you placed them…. Just organized now.”
“And Mouser? Did she bother you during the night? She can be as much a pest as a mouse, especially when she wants attention.”
“We reached an impasse. While I did sleep better knowing the cat was in here with me, she was not allowed to walk across my face during the night.”
“Good. If you’d like, you can keep her with you at night then.”
“I would appreciate that. Thank you.”
“Did she eat it?”
“The mouse?” She shook her head sorrowfully. “Unfortunately for her, I could not allow that. I tossed it out the port hole. Afterward, she appeared vexed with me.”
“I’m sure she was. You threw her dinner away.”
Her gaze finally met and held his, and a thousand erotic images flashed through her mind. She envisioned herself and the captain performing the acts depicted in the drawings and her body began to tingle all over.
He broke the spell when he went to the bureau, took some toiletries out, and wrapped them in a towel as though he meant to wash up elsewhere. Then he took a fresh set of clothing and folded it over his arm. “When I return, I’ll take you on deck for a stroll and some fresh air.”
“Thank you,” she replied. “I look forward to it.”
He nodded and left the room, but not before reminding her to throw the bolt behind him. As soon as she’d locked the door, she ran back to the book and took it from its hiding space, went to the bench beneath the porthole window and began to read. Again.
Ian splashed cold water on his face, then dunked his head into the bucket. What he needed was a cold bath. Sarah might be impulsive and imprudent, he thought, but at least she had the good sense to be embarrassed by the state of her undress last night—even if it did come after the fact. He must quit thinking about the way she looked in the dim light of the cabin, wearing nothing but a boy’s shirt with her blond curls loose over her shoulders and falling down her back. But even more painful than that was remembering the curve of bare thigh that had peeked out from under the hem of that shirt. That vision had caused him to lose sleep, making him admittedly grumpy earlier.
The gentleman in him realized he should have done the polite thing and escorted her to the galley, but he didn’t think he could have done so without snapping at her. And while asking her for a stroll about the deck perhaps wasn’t the wisest decision—because he remembered exactly how fetching she looked without trousers—he reasoned he couldn’t very well keep her locked away for the duration of the voyage. No, if he planned to return her to her brother untouched, he simply needed to avoid scenes like last night’s until they reached New York. Then he’d hand her over to Lucky and let him deal with her.
He also considered having one of his crew escort her so she could take in the fresh air, but couldn’t think of an appropriate man. When staffing his ships, he sought the best, most experienced seamen available for their maritime experience and sailing skills, not escorts for ladies. The men on his ships weren’t refined gentlemen. They were coarse and unused to entertaining ladies. Well, ladies of her caliber.
Come to think of it, neither was he.
Lifting the razor, he tilted his head and carefully began to remove the two days’ growth shadowing his face. The yellowed looking-glass over the wash stand in the crew’s quarters wasn’t as good as his, but it would have to do. A wave hit the lee side of the boat, and he lurched forward, banging his head into a beam. Thankfully, he didn’t have the razor to this neck, or he might have mortally injured himself.
This was why most sailors grew beards on their voyages. They didn’t want to slice their own throats while attempting to shave. But he’d committed himself after the first stroke of the razor and couldn’t very well stop, so he continued, albeit very cautiously.
Then he thought of the reason he had the blade to his throat while skating swells and troughs in the mid-Atlantic. The blue-eyed temptress now occupying his cabin. That uninvited, very enticing bit of fluff had played a big role in his dreams the past two nights.
He simply had to stop thinking about her. Either in his bed or undressed. To do so only made him realize how long he’d been without a woman. He’d be hard pressed to refuse her if she invited him to share his quarters with her. Not that that was likely to happen. He doubted she’d ever even kissed a man, being unwed, and more importantly the unmarried sister of the Duke of Caversham, her brother. That man impressed him as a fierce protector of his family. A man no one wanted to cross swords with.
Another reason to avoid the lady altogether: his intentions were as dishonorable as his grandfather thought he was.
But even with every reason in the world not to socialize with her, minutes later, freshly shaved, he found himself with his hand poised to knock on her door, to ask her to stroll in the mid-day sun. What madness had overcome him? Why had he promised her a stroll? And now that he had, it wasn’t as though he had to keep the promise. He could back out, say an important matter needed his attention and strolling with her would take him away from the work at hand. It sounded like a perfectly reasonable excuse to him for canceling.
Still, he knocked.
He heard her shuffling, and she soon opened the door with a charming blush on her cheeks. What had she been doing, or more likely thinking of, to have such an alluring look about her? Perhaps she was still embarrassed? No. If she were, she wouldn’t have that soft smile curving her lips or that veiled look to her sapphire-colored eyes.
“Ready for some sunshine?”
She smoothed her hands on her trouser legs and nodded, then reached for her coat and hat. After she’d put both on, he held the door for her. Once above deck, he offered his arm and they strolled for a minute in silence. He spoke to a crewman coiling a line, and another as he performed his duties. When they were alone on the quarter deck, he said, “If it would ease your embarrassment, no one knows you allowed me entrance into the cabin while you were…inappropriately attired.”
She turned an adorable shade of pink as she turned her blue eyes to him and said, “Thank you.” They watched his crewmen at their various tasks for a few minutes, and he explained some of what they were doing. “I have wanted to come above and sit in the sunshine and watch as you work,” she said during a lull in the conversation. “If I promise not to get in the way, may I?”
“One day when the weather is calm, certainly.” She needed more fresh air and sunshine. It was good for a person. Besides, she had this healthy glow about her that told him she was accustomed to it, so he didn’t fear for her health if she were to spend some time with him on deck.
“You know I’ve read everything in your library except your mechanical arts and engineering tomes, ocean charts, and financial ledgers. You also need to keep better ship’s logs. I found them incomplete for starters, and what entries there were lacked excitement and adventure.”
Ian chuckled. “The entries missing are from this race only, and that’s because you are in my cabin. As for exciting tales, you’re looking for a journal, and I don’t journal. Usually, when I go to my cabin at night, I’m so tired I barely have the energy to make an entry into the log.”
“As a child, the logs from Ren’s grandfather, his uncle, and cousins stirred my imagination. Captain, you must keep a journal of your travels for future generations. Just think, one day your grandchildren will come across them and find them fascinating and think you dashing and brave.” She turned that damn adorable smile up to him and added, “Especially if you mention a pirate ship or two.”
“He wasn’t your grandfather also?”
“No. Ren and Elise have a different mother. She died after Elise was born. Our father married my mother, also a confirmed spinster, many years later. I was born shortly after their wedding.”
She exhaled, visibly relaxing at the same time. “I wish I’d thought to bring a dress or two. I know that wearing boy’s clothes isn’t proper, but I needed it to get onto the ship, and it is all I have with me.” She glanced at him then looked away again. “At the time I packed my satchel, I didn’t think morning dresses would be suitable for a voyage of this nature.”
“You’re right, they wouldn’t be. But then ladies wouldn’t normally be on a clipper of this size and sort. If a lady wished to cross the Atlantic, she’d be on a much larger vessel, one equipped for passengers.”
His guest looked at him, meeting his gaze with a determined tilt to her chin. “Captain, you are attempting to make me feel guilty for having stowed away aboard your boat, and I will not be made to feel so. Granted, I landed on the wrong ship, but I had to make this journey. Not only because I’ve always dreamed of seeing America, but also because I am tired of everyone around me having grand adventures when I cannot. You have no idea what it is like to always be aware of the rules of society and appropriate behavior for a lady of my station. It’s been drilled into my head since I was a child that ladies must behave in a certain manner and to go outside those boundaries will bring censure, perhaps even scandal to one’s family. “Well, I’m tired of living inside the gilded cage. For once in my life I want to fly away.” Her mood changed from bold and assertive to wistful sadness when she added, “Even if eventually I must return.”
“Yes, but when you return, will you still be able to enjoy the benefits of the life to which you were born? Or will you be shunned by polite society for having been in the company of a crew of men without the benefit of a chaperone?”
She turned away, he thought because she realized the hardened truth of his words. “I care not what others think of me. Those who love me will believe in me and know the truth.”
“What if you find that your friends’ parents will not allow them in your company because to do so might taint their daughter with your stained reputation? What then, my lady?”
“Please, can we change the topic?” She gave him a pleading gaze, but for some reason it was important to him that she understand the severity of the possible consequences of her actions.
“Avoiding the subject will not resolve the issue. I would think you’d want to be prepared for the possibility that you might have fewer willing companions when you return to Town. It seems to me you haven’t thought your way through this to the inevitable outcome.”
Ian could tell his words were hitting their intended mark, as she appeared more and more remorseful as he went on. Then she stiffened her spine and turned to climb down the stairs to the main deck.
“Where are you going?”
“I really don’t feel like hearing a lecture on my behavior. You obviously do not understand my desire…no, my need to taste freedom before settling into a dismal life of confined comfort.” She stopped at the entrance to the companionway and turned back to face him. “So, I believe I shall return to the cabin now. Thank you for the stroll in the sunshine.”
He hadn’t meant for the conversation to turn out that way. It had started out nicely and had quickly changed when he began to chastise. The look on her face told him he’d hurt her feelings, and he wondered if perhaps he should apologize.
Then he thought not. It was more than likely long past time someone showed the chit what repercussions her actions would have. She needed to be taught to think before she acted.
If only she hadn’t had that wounded-doe look. Too, he could have sworn her lower lip trembled as she thanked him for taking her out in the fresh air.
In the end, it was the look on her face that made him feel like a blackguard of the first order. He decided to follow her down to the cabin and apologize.
CHAPTER FOUR
Sarah locked the door, threw the hat and coat onto the bench, and plopped herself onto the bed. She refused to cry even though she felt that familiar knot in her throat that preceded the tears. Hardly knowing him, the man had the ability to make her feel like a foolish six-year-old who’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
She was no child, but a woman fully grown. A woman who knew her mind and her heart. A woman who longed for adventure and had the confidence to take it when the opportunity arose. She absently toyed with the ribbon holding her braid and tugged, pulling it free. Children wore their hair braided, not women. She walked to the mirror and fingered her too-thick messy curls, beginning to untangle them with her comb, when a knock sounded.
If the man meant to continue his tirade in the privacy of her room, she would have to make it clear to him that she would take no more.
Throwing back the bolt, she yanked open the door, prepared to vent her anger at him when he pushed past her. The sound of the latch sliding home and the strange emotion in his gold-flecked hazel eyes were more titillating than fear-inducing.
“If you’ve come to continue lecturing me, you can save your breath because I will not hear it.” She turned her back to him and continued combing her hair, trying to ignore his proximity in the confines of the small room.
“I thought to apologize. But….”
“Apology accepted. Now, please…,” her voice cracked. “Please go.” She didn’t look at him.
His voice carried growing frustration as he spoke, his tone becoming more aggressive. “This is my ship, and I’ll leave when I damn well choose.”
Startled, she met his steely gaze in the mirror. Her parched throat closed, and she stood frozen in place, trembling now that she’d forced him to anger.
“I didn’t have to let you stay in here,” he stated. “I could have had you locked in the lazarette below as a common prisoner.”
She held his direct, scathing stare in the mirror and refused to cower.
“With no light and only a blanket and one meal a day. Remember, you stole aboard my vessel of your own volition and that makes you no better than a common criminal. Because of who you are, I felt it my responsibility to care for your well-being. But your attitude at my hospitality could use some adjustment.”
He came to stand directly behind her, so close she felt the warmth radiating off his body, felt his breath in her tangled curls. She saw in the mirror that his gaze caressed her tumbledown mess of hair. Even in her fear, she wanted to feel his touch. She knew that if he touched her, she would melt before him.
“So let me clarify something to you, my lady. You are under my protection, and as a friend to Lucky, you will hear what I have to say regarding your imprudent actions, especially as they will likely affect me in some way. His Grace will surely question me thoroughly.”
She felt the heat of his hands a fraction of an inch away from her body as though he wanted to touch her, to feel her, but would not. Without making contact, they roved over her form, causing her skin beneath her linen shirt and trousers to flame as though he stroked her naked body. Now she knew. He felt it, too. The attraction she felt for him was returned; it wasn’t her imagination.
“You never should have come here,” his husky voice whispered.
If she moved at all, even to take a deep breath, his palms would be on her, and if that happened, she didn’t know where they’d go from there.
The drawings in that book came to mind, and she groaned silently.
“I am not your brother that you can behave with that haughty demeanor of yours and get away with it. And you can give me your excuses and expect all to be well. I am not easily pacified.”
His hands fell to his side, and he stepped away, leaving Sarah wondering what might have happened if she had taken a step back into his arms.
“Consider yourself warned, my lady.” He turned and left the room.
The comb fell to the floor, and she sat on the bench staring at the door, shaken with the knowledge that if he’d simply touched her, she would have melted into him. Would have given him anything he’d wanted because, God help her, it was what she wanted as well. She wasn’t sure why, but something inside her wanted a relationship with this man, telling her that no other man would do. It wasn’t just because of that titillating little book either. Her body had been attracted to Mr. Ross-Mackeever from the moment he walked into the drawing room at the rented house in Liverpool the night before the race. Of course, she didn’t know what this feeling was then. But now, with the help of that erotic book, she concluded this feeling was what the author described as chemistry.
When the bell signaling the noon meal rang, Sarah quickly donned her hat and coat again and went to the galley. Thankfully, Ian was nowhere in sight. After greeting a few of her new friends, she returned to her room alone and ate the bland but filling fare with gusto.
Grabbing the book, she stuffed it under the pillow and smoothed flat the bed cover, before moving to the door. “Yes?”
“I was wondering if you needed anything,” the captain said.
Sarah slid the bolt open and allowed him in, unable to look him in the eye after seeing the outrageous depictions in the book. Her imagination began to take hold of her conscious thought, and images of her and this captain flitted through her mind, causing her to flush with embarrassment.
His eyebrows arched as he noticed the difference in the room. He seemed pleased that she’d righted the space after having torn it asunder the night before in search of the unwanted visitor.
“The cabin looks better than it did when last I saw it.”
Sarah nodded, her gaze scanning to room, trying to imagine it as he saw it. “I felt it only right that I clean the mess I’d made. And I’ve taken to reorganizing your bins beneath the benches and the drawers beneath the bed. Also your dresser and clothes press.” With her shoulders back and chin high, she was proud of the job she’d done. “Everything is neat and orderly now,” she added.
“Did you not think that I might find your interference an invasion of my privacy?”
“Not at all. I cannot think clearly with clutter up to my eyeballs, as it was. And I don’t know how you do.”
“I knew where everything was.”
“And you will relearn where everything is now.” At his look she wanted to laugh but held back not wanting to raise his ire. “It’s all in the same general vicinity of where you placed them…. Just organized now.”
“And Mouser? Did she bother you during the night? She can be as much a pest as a mouse, especially when she wants attention.”
“We reached an impasse. While I did sleep better knowing the cat was in here with me, she was not allowed to walk across my face during the night.”
“Good. If you’d like, you can keep her with you at night then.”
“I would appreciate that. Thank you.”
“Did she eat it?”
“The mouse?” She shook her head sorrowfully. “Unfortunately for her, I could not allow that. I tossed it out the port hole. Afterward, she appeared vexed with me.”
“I’m sure she was. You threw her dinner away.”
Her gaze finally met and held his, and a thousand erotic images flashed through her mind. She envisioned herself and the captain performing the acts depicted in the drawings and her body began to tingle all over.
He broke the spell when he went to the bureau, took some toiletries out, and wrapped them in a towel as though he meant to wash up elsewhere. Then he took a fresh set of clothing and folded it over his arm. “When I return, I’ll take you on deck for a stroll and some fresh air.”
“Thank you,” she replied. “I look forward to it.”
He nodded and left the room, but not before reminding her to throw the bolt behind him. As soon as she’d locked the door, she ran back to the book and took it from its hiding space, went to the bench beneath the porthole window and began to read. Again.
Ian splashed cold water on his face, then dunked his head into the bucket. What he needed was a cold bath. Sarah might be impulsive and imprudent, he thought, but at least she had the good sense to be embarrassed by the state of her undress last night—even if it did come after the fact. He must quit thinking about the way she looked in the dim light of the cabin, wearing nothing but a boy’s shirt with her blond curls loose over her shoulders and falling down her back. But even more painful than that was remembering the curve of bare thigh that had peeked out from under the hem of that shirt. That vision had caused him to lose sleep, making him admittedly grumpy earlier.
The gentleman in him realized he should have done the polite thing and escorted her to the galley, but he didn’t think he could have done so without snapping at her. And while asking her for a stroll about the deck perhaps wasn’t the wisest decision—because he remembered exactly how fetching she looked without trousers—he reasoned he couldn’t very well keep her locked away for the duration of the voyage. No, if he planned to return her to her brother untouched, he simply needed to avoid scenes like last night’s until they reached New York. Then he’d hand her over to Lucky and let him deal with her.
He also considered having one of his crew escort her so she could take in the fresh air, but couldn’t think of an appropriate man. When staffing his ships, he sought the best, most experienced seamen available for their maritime experience and sailing skills, not escorts for ladies. The men on his ships weren’t refined gentlemen. They were coarse and unused to entertaining ladies. Well, ladies of her caliber.
Come to think of it, neither was he.
Lifting the razor, he tilted his head and carefully began to remove the two days’ growth shadowing his face. The yellowed looking-glass over the wash stand in the crew’s quarters wasn’t as good as his, but it would have to do. A wave hit the lee side of the boat, and he lurched forward, banging his head into a beam. Thankfully, he didn’t have the razor to this neck, or he might have mortally injured himself.
This was why most sailors grew beards on their voyages. They didn’t want to slice their own throats while attempting to shave. But he’d committed himself after the first stroke of the razor and couldn’t very well stop, so he continued, albeit very cautiously.
Then he thought of the reason he had the blade to his throat while skating swells and troughs in the mid-Atlantic. The blue-eyed temptress now occupying his cabin. That uninvited, very enticing bit of fluff had played a big role in his dreams the past two nights.
He simply had to stop thinking about her. Either in his bed or undressed. To do so only made him realize how long he’d been without a woman. He’d be hard pressed to refuse her if she invited him to share his quarters with her. Not that that was likely to happen. He doubted she’d ever even kissed a man, being unwed, and more importantly the unmarried sister of the Duke of Caversham, her brother. That man impressed him as a fierce protector of his family. A man no one wanted to cross swords with.
Another reason to avoid the lady altogether: his intentions were as dishonorable as his grandfather thought he was.
But even with every reason in the world not to socialize with her, minutes later, freshly shaved, he found himself with his hand poised to knock on her door, to ask her to stroll in the mid-day sun. What madness had overcome him? Why had he promised her a stroll? And now that he had, it wasn’t as though he had to keep the promise. He could back out, say an important matter needed his attention and strolling with her would take him away from the work at hand. It sounded like a perfectly reasonable excuse to him for canceling.
Still, he knocked.
He heard her shuffling, and she soon opened the door with a charming blush on her cheeks. What had she been doing, or more likely thinking of, to have such an alluring look about her? Perhaps she was still embarrassed? No. If she were, she wouldn’t have that soft smile curving her lips or that veiled look to her sapphire-colored eyes.
“Ready for some sunshine?”
She smoothed her hands on her trouser legs and nodded, then reached for her coat and hat. After she’d put both on, he held the door for her. Once above deck, he offered his arm and they strolled for a minute in silence. He spoke to a crewman coiling a line, and another as he performed his duties. When they were alone on the quarter deck, he said, “If it would ease your embarrassment, no one knows you allowed me entrance into the cabin while you were…inappropriately attired.”
She turned an adorable shade of pink as she turned her blue eyes to him and said, “Thank you.” They watched his crewmen at their various tasks for a few minutes, and he explained some of what they were doing. “I have wanted to come above and sit in the sunshine and watch as you work,” she said during a lull in the conversation. “If I promise not to get in the way, may I?”
“One day when the weather is calm, certainly.” She needed more fresh air and sunshine. It was good for a person. Besides, she had this healthy glow about her that told him she was accustomed to it, so he didn’t fear for her health if she were to spend some time with him on deck.
“You know I’ve read everything in your library except your mechanical arts and engineering tomes, ocean charts, and financial ledgers. You also need to keep better ship’s logs. I found them incomplete for starters, and what entries there were lacked excitement and adventure.”
Ian chuckled. “The entries missing are from this race only, and that’s because you are in my cabin. As for exciting tales, you’re looking for a journal, and I don’t journal. Usually, when I go to my cabin at night, I’m so tired I barely have the energy to make an entry into the log.”
“As a child, the logs from Ren’s grandfather, his uncle, and cousins stirred my imagination. Captain, you must keep a journal of your travels for future generations. Just think, one day your grandchildren will come across them and find them fascinating and think you dashing and brave.” She turned that damn adorable smile up to him and added, “Especially if you mention a pirate ship or two.”
“He wasn’t your grandfather also?”
“No. Ren and Elise have a different mother. She died after Elise was born. Our father married my mother, also a confirmed spinster, many years later. I was born shortly after their wedding.”
She exhaled, visibly relaxing at the same time. “I wish I’d thought to bring a dress or two. I know that wearing boy’s clothes isn’t proper, but I needed it to get onto the ship, and it is all I have with me.” She glanced at him then looked away again. “At the time I packed my satchel, I didn’t think morning dresses would be suitable for a voyage of this nature.”
“You’re right, they wouldn’t be. But then ladies wouldn’t normally be on a clipper of this size and sort. If a lady wished to cross the Atlantic, she’d be on a much larger vessel, one equipped for passengers.”
His guest looked at him, meeting his gaze with a determined tilt to her chin. “Captain, you are attempting to make me feel guilty for having stowed away aboard your boat, and I will not be made to feel so. Granted, I landed on the wrong ship, but I had to make this journey. Not only because I’ve always dreamed of seeing America, but also because I am tired of everyone around me having grand adventures when I cannot. You have no idea what it is like to always be aware of the rules of society and appropriate behavior for a lady of my station. It’s been drilled into my head since I was a child that ladies must behave in a certain manner and to go outside those boundaries will bring censure, perhaps even scandal to one’s family. “Well, I’m tired of living inside the gilded cage. For once in my life I want to fly away.” Her mood changed from bold and assertive to wistful sadness when she added, “Even if eventually I must return.”
“Yes, but when you return, will you still be able to enjoy the benefits of the life to which you were born? Or will you be shunned by polite society for having been in the company of a crew of men without the benefit of a chaperone?”
She turned away, he thought because she realized the hardened truth of his words. “I care not what others think of me. Those who love me will believe in me and know the truth.”
“What if you find that your friends’ parents will not allow them in your company because to do so might taint their daughter with your stained reputation? What then, my lady?”
“Please, can we change the topic?” She gave him a pleading gaze, but for some reason it was important to him that she understand the severity of the possible consequences of her actions.
“Avoiding the subject will not resolve the issue. I would think you’d want to be prepared for the possibility that you might have fewer willing companions when you return to Town. It seems to me you haven’t thought your way through this to the inevitable outcome.”
Ian could tell his words were hitting their intended mark, as she appeared more and more remorseful as he went on. Then she stiffened her spine and turned to climb down the stairs to the main deck.
“Where are you going?”
“I really don’t feel like hearing a lecture on my behavior. You obviously do not understand my desire…no, my need to taste freedom before settling into a dismal life of confined comfort.” She stopped at the entrance to the companionway and turned back to face him. “So, I believe I shall return to the cabin now. Thank you for the stroll in the sunshine.”
He hadn’t meant for the conversation to turn out that way. It had started out nicely and had quickly changed when he began to chastise. The look on her face told him he’d hurt her feelings, and he wondered if perhaps he should apologize.
Then he thought not. It was more than likely long past time someone showed the chit what repercussions her actions would have. She needed to be taught to think before she acted.
If only she hadn’t had that wounded-doe look. Too, he could have sworn her lower lip trembled as she thanked him for taking her out in the fresh air.
In the end, it was the look on her face that made him feel like a blackguard of the first order. He decided to follow her down to the cabin and apologize.
CHAPTER FOUR
Sarah locked the door, threw the hat and coat onto the bench, and plopped herself onto the bed. She refused to cry even though she felt that familiar knot in her throat that preceded the tears. Hardly knowing him, the man had the ability to make her feel like a foolish six-year-old who’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
She was no child, but a woman fully grown. A woman who knew her mind and her heart. A woman who longed for adventure and had the confidence to take it when the opportunity arose. She absently toyed with the ribbon holding her braid and tugged, pulling it free. Children wore their hair braided, not women. She walked to the mirror and fingered her too-thick messy curls, beginning to untangle them with her comb, when a knock sounded.
If the man meant to continue his tirade in the privacy of her room, she would have to make it clear to him that she would take no more.
Throwing back the bolt, she yanked open the door, prepared to vent her anger at him when he pushed past her. The sound of the latch sliding home and the strange emotion in his gold-flecked hazel eyes were more titillating than fear-inducing.
“If you’ve come to continue lecturing me, you can save your breath because I will not hear it.” She turned her back to him and continued combing her hair, trying to ignore his proximity in the confines of the small room.
“I thought to apologize. But….”
“Apology accepted. Now, please…,” her voice cracked. “Please go.” She didn’t look at him.
His voice carried growing frustration as he spoke, his tone becoming more aggressive. “This is my ship, and I’ll leave when I damn well choose.”
Startled, she met his steely gaze in the mirror. Her parched throat closed, and she stood frozen in place, trembling now that she’d forced him to anger.
“I didn’t have to let you stay in here,” he stated. “I could have had you locked in the lazarette below as a common prisoner.”
She held his direct, scathing stare in the mirror and refused to cower.
“With no light and only a blanket and one meal a day. Remember, you stole aboard my vessel of your own volition and that makes you no better than a common criminal. Because of who you are, I felt it my responsibility to care for your well-being. But your attitude at my hospitality could use some adjustment.”
He came to stand directly behind her, so close she felt the warmth radiating off his body, felt his breath in her tangled curls. She saw in the mirror that his gaze caressed her tumbledown mess of hair. Even in her fear, she wanted to feel his touch. She knew that if he touched her, she would melt before him.
“So let me clarify something to you, my lady. You are under my protection, and as a friend to Lucky, you will hear what I have to say regarding your imprudent actions, especially as they will likely affect me in some way. His Grace will surely question me thoroughly.”
She felt the heat of his hands a fraction of an inch away from her body as though he wanted to touch her, to feel her, but would not. Without making contact, they roved over her form, causing her skin beneath her linen shirt and trousers to flame as though he stroked her naked body. Now she knew. He felt it, too. The attraction she felt for him was returned; it wasn’t her imagination.
“You never should have come here,” his husky voice whispered.
If she moved at all, even to take a deep breath, his palms would be on her, and if that happened, she didn’t know where they’d go from there.
The drawings in that book came to mind, and she groaned silently.
“I am not your brother that you can behave with that haughty demeanor of yours and get away with it. And you can give me your excuses and expect all to be well. I am not easily pacified.”
His hands fell to his side, and he stepped away, leaving Sarah wondering what might have happened if she had taken a step back into his arms.
“Consider yourself warned, my lady.” He turned and left the room.
The comb fell to the floor, and she sat on the bench staring at the door, shaken with the knowledge that if he’d simply touched her, she would have melted into him. Would have given him anything he’d wanted because, God help her, it was what she wanted as well. She wasn’t sure why, but something inside her wanted a relationship with this man, telling her that no other man would do. It wasn’t just because of that titillating little book either. Her body had been attracted to Mr. Ross-Mackeever from the moment he walked into the drawing room at the rented house in Liverpool the night before the race. Of course, she didn’t know what this feeling was then. But now, with the help of that erotic book, she concluded this feeling was what the author described as chemistry.
When the bell signaling the noon meal rang, Sarah quickly donned her hat and coat again and went to the galley. Thankfully, Ian was nowhere in sight. After greeting a few of her new friends, she returned to her room alone and ate the bland but filling fare with gusto.
