Hope, page 20
part #3 of Brides of the Rio Grande Series
Yes, Hope agreed with her adoptive mother. Men were troublesome creatures, indeed.
Billy waited by the wagon, waiting for Hope and the doc to return from their privacy stop. He watched the woman he wanted so much and loved so desperately appear from the stand of trees nearby and head in his direction. He knew he could not live without this woman, but how on earth could he convince her he was worth taking a risk on when he didn’t believe it himself. And how could he explain what happened last night without sounding like a man with something to hide?
He needed to talk to Hope, but he was scared down to the toes of his boots she wouldn’t understand. Hell, did she even care anymore? He fingered the ring she gave back to him in his pocket. Damn. He had screwed everything up. Again. Why hadn’t he waited a little bit longer to propose to Hope and given her more time to get medicine out of her system? Maybe if he had, she would have been ready to marry him and move up into the mountains. And why the hell couldn’t he deal with his anger without slipping into the bottom of a whiskey bottle? It was the only time he drank the stuff. Maybe he was more like his papa than he wanted to admit. He may not lash out and physically hurt the people he loved, but he sure as hell still managed to inflict his own brand of pain on them.
If he never took another drink, he’d be better off, that was for sure. Well, except maybe the good stuff Hiram Hanover offered him on occasion. A man would be a fool to turn an offer like that down.
Hope approached the wagon and their eyes met. She looked at him as if she could see his soul and didn’t like what she saw. When she looked away, he wanted that connection back. “Ready?”
She nodded and he offered her his hand and she took it never once looking in his direction. It was like he didn’t matter anymore.
He handed Hope up onto the wagon seat and stood on the ground beside it while they waited in silence for Doc Howard to appear. Now was his chance, but did he have the nerve? She was very clear about not talking to him anymore, but if he didn’t try—after all, what did he have to lose?
“Hope, I’d really like to talk to you about Friday night. Maybe if we could talk about it, we could come to some sort of understanding.”
“Billy. There’s nothing left to be said. So, please. Let’s not talk about it anymore.” He heard Hope’s voice quiver with emotion. Did that mean she still cared or was she just frustrated with his stubborn refusal to take no for an answer?
He turned to Hope on the seat and she refused to look at him, instead she stared straight ahead. “But, Hope, surely you still have feelings for me. I can see them on your face when—”
“Billy, I said I don’t want to talk about it anymore. If you can’t respect my wishes and let it alone, I’ll be forced to insist Doc Howard take me back to Creede and John will need an explanation. Are you going to want to tell him that you had to turn around because you wouldn’t stop pestering me?” She turned her gaze to meet his. He could see the hurt there, but he could also see the determination. She meant what she was saying.
“Pestering you?” He nodded in agreement, his heart ached at her rejection. He loved Hope, but he wasn’t gonna beg her to love him. He’d rather be alone than force a woman to feel pity for him. “I get it. You don’t want me around. Ain’t a problem, Miss Anderson. I never want to be accused of pestering a woman for affection. Never had to. Don’t intend to start now.” Billy felt like crying, but grown men didn’t cry. Only scared little boys cried when they needed love.
He watched the angry set of Hope’s jaw, but she stared straight ahead never looking at him once.
Doc Howard appeared out of the bushes. “Your turn, Billy.”
The man’s timing couldn’t be better. He needed some space to gain control of his emotions. “Here’s the lead rope. Watch the horses while I’m gone?”
“Sure thing, Billy. Take your time.” The man walked around to the front of Gus and petted the giant draft horse’s nose. Then he ran his hands over the horse’s back, rump, legs and knees. Billy guessed a man possessed with doctoring couldn’t stop doctoring even if he was looking at a horse.
Billy walked down the ridge and behind a grove of trees and relieved himself. A sound across the river caught his attention. It was a huge herd of elk. It was a sight Billy usually marveled at, but today, he didn’t give a crap about much of anything. What was the point? He didn’t have a future anymore.
Billy stomped along the edge of the river’s bank to find a spot for privacy. His conversation with Hope had rattled him and he didn’t much care where he was headed when a careless step caused the loose rocks at the edge of the tall bank leading down to the rocky river’s edge to give way. He fell down the embankment tumbling head over heels spooking the elk across the river as he fell.
Finally, he landed at the bottom of the river’s bank and he lay between the rocky surface of the steep ravine and the icy water of the Rio Grande river.
He lay still for a few minutes, listening to the thundering hooves of the hundreds of elk spooked by his unexpected tumble. When he tried to move, the pain in his side and his right arm punched him hard. He was having difficulty breathing. This was no simple get-up-and-get-going kind of fall. He was hurt and he wasn’t going anywhere without help.
He called out to Hope and the doc over and over, but he knew they wouldn’t be able to hear his cries over the rushing water of the river and the increasing winds of the coming storm.
Damn it. He knew better than to walk about without looking. He had learned that lesson twenty years ago when he was a young lad under the not-so-watchful eyes of his older siblings.
“Doctor Hoooooward. Dooooooc. Hooooope. Can you hear me? I need heeeeeeeelp.”
His teeth clattered together. He was cold and starting to worry. What the hell were they doing up there? Hadn’t they missed him by now?
18
Hope looked around at the landscape surrounding them and marveled at its wild beauty. If things were different between her and Billy, could she have learned to live out here? It seemed so remote. And quiet. And scary.
Suddenly, a thundering sound echoed off the mountains. She and Doc both turned and watched a large herd of elk running across the dry grass on the other side of the river.
“That’s a large herd. Something must have spooked them.” Doc commented as they watched them disappear into the thick pine trees on the other side of the river.
The horses stomped nervously. “Do you think it’s the elk that are making them nervous or something else? Should we be worried?” Hope cast an uneasy glance around her.
Doc stood next to the lead horse, scratching its big ears and rubbing its nose.
“I don’t think so. That’s a normal occurrence out here in the wild. You’ll get used to it.”
She nodded her understanding. She did have a lot to learn about the mountains. Growing up under the street lights of Kansas City, help was never far away, but out here—she shuddered.
After a few minutes of soothing the nervous horses, Hope watched the doctor look into the darkening sky. “The storm is growing in intensity. Looks like we are going to get a lot of snow and sooner than expected.”
Hope cast a worried look to the darkening sky. “Do you think we can make it to the Randolph ranch before dark?”
“I think so. Billy said it was only another five miles or so. We’ve already come twice that far so we should be there within the hour. These giant beasts will get us there in no time. That is…if we can get going. I wonder what is keeping our driver?”
“It does seem as if he’s been gone long time for…his purpose, don’t you think, Doctor?”
“Yes, I do think so. Perhaps I should check on him. I’ll be back in a moment.” He turned to go and then turned back to her. “The rifle is underneath the seat. If anyone approaches you, shoot first. We’ll ask questions later. Understood?”
The thought of someone approaching her out here frightened the hell out of her, but she figured she had dealt with worse situations fighting off customers at Rosie’s saloon. She had to admit she was in her element back in Kansas City. She understood predators there. Here, she was going to have to learn how to survive if she hoped to gather herbs and turn them into relief-giving tinctures and rubs the way the doctor did. Perhaps when she got back to Creede she would ask Charity to give her more shooting lessons. Just in case.
Sadness infiltrated her thoughts. At least she no longer had to worry about Billy wanting her to live with him in his cabin up on his. mountain. She should be relieved, and yet she felt the sharp sting of disappointment that Billy was no longer hers. Thoughts of Cora reminded her that most likely Billy had never been hers. She was no longer blinded by that illusion.
The quiet was deafening and the wind was picking up. The cold dampness chilled her to the bone. Snow began to fall and gather on her clothing and in her hair. Should she climb down off the wagon seat and see what had happened to her escorts or should she stay and keep their only means of transportation from leaving the scene without their passengers. She was still trying to decide what to do when Doc’s voice called out to her from behind the grove of bushes near the river’s edge.
“Hope, are you still there?”
“Yes, Doc. I’m still here. Is something wrong?” Her heart stuttered in her chest.
The doctor confirmed it with his next request. “Please bring me my small medical bag, please It appears you are going to get your first lesson in emergency medicine sooner than expected.”
Billy heard a voice calling back to him. He looked up to see Doctor Howard peering down at him over the side of the slope. “What happened to you?”
“I would think that was obvious. I slipped and fell,” Billy retorted.
“Don’t move. “I’ll be right down.”
Billy shot the man an exasperated glare. “Where else would I go?” he mumbled.
The man had the audacity to grin down at him. Billy watched him nimbly pick his way down the rocky slope. When he reached the bottom, he knelt by Billy’s side and started asking questions.
“Where do you hurt?” The man’s fingers roamed over Billy much as they had done over Gus a few minutes ago. Billy was glad the man was good at what he did.
“I hurt all over.”
“Could you be more specific? How about this?” The man pushed on Billy’s stomach.
“Ow, hell yeah that hurts.”
“And this?” The doctor pressed on Billy’s chest.
“Yes, that hurts too What the hell are you trying to do? Save me or kill me?” Billy wasn’t so sure any longer the man knew what he was doing.
“I’m trying to ascertain where your injuries are, Billy. If you could articulate better, it would certainly help this process along.”
“I hurt all over,” Billy grunted.
“Okay, let me go get my medical bag and Hope. Your injuries may be more serious than we know.”
It dawned on Billy what the man was saying. He was going to get Hope. “Oh hell no!” He did not want Hope to witness him lying helpless in the mud, but the doc was already headed down the banks of the river looking for an easier way to get up.
“Damn it to hell. Did the man ever listen? I don’t want Hope to see me like this, you idiot,” Billy murmured under his breath. He tried to sit up, but the pain in his back and ribs took his breath away. A flurry of large flakes of snow fell from the sky.
“Well, that is just great. Damn it to hell!” Billy yelled out over the vast wilderness, hearing his voice echo all around him. He sucked in his breath as the reward for his efforts was a great deal of pain.
A few minutes later, the doc appeared upstream. It seemed he had the good sense to follow the river from the flat area near where the wagon and team were parked. And Hope was close behind him.
“Oh, Billy. Are you alright? What happened to you?”
Hope’s worried face appeared in his vision as she and the doctor knelt beside him. Hope reached for him.
“Don’t touch him, Hope. Not until I can evaluate his injuries. If he has broken his neck or his back and you try to move him—well, it could have catastrophic results.
Hope sat back leaving him in the cold, wet mud. Her worried look punched him in the gut. At least she was worried about him. That was a start. Maybe she wasn’t as mad at him now.
Billy tried to sit up. After all, it was very humiliating laying at the doc’s feet while Hope looked on. But the tiniest movement sent pain shooting through his right side, his chest, and his left arm.
“Ahhhhh.” He nearly bit his tongue off to keep from screaming out in pain. The tears forming in Hope’s eyes touched him.
“Don’t worry—I’ve had worse than this before.” Billy wanted to reassure Hope he was going to be okay, but the doc interrupted him. Again.
“Billy. Stop talking. Hope, open my medical bag and give me my stethoscope.”
“Look, doc. I can walk if you’ll just help me up, damn it,” Billy demanded. He wanted his dignity back.
Hope handed the curious looking instrument to the doc. He pushed the two tubes into his ears and then took the wooden tube on the end and placed it on Billy’s chest.
“Doc, if you will just—”
“Quiet, Billy,” the doctor interrupted. “I can’t hear your auscultation.”
“Ah, now you’re just funnin’ me doc. Even I know I don’t have anything called a oscartation.”
“Aus-cul-ta-tion. It means I’m listening for the sounds produced in your body. I need to determine if the sounds are normal or if something is injured internally.”
Billy watched the doctor turn to Hope and finish his explanation while he moved the bell-shaped device around his body.
“Hope, I’m interested in assessing if Billy has any internal injuries and I can determine that by the sounds in his thoracic or abdominal organs, his lungs, heart, and intestines.”
The doctor’s words made Billy realize he could be in a lot more trouble than he thought.
He and Hope kept quiet while the doctor completed his exam. Billy had never been sick a day in his life. Minor cuts and scrapes, a few sprains, and muscle twitches were the extent of his medical history if you didn’t count the beatings at the hand of his older brother. But this was all new and a little bit scary.
“Are you having trouble breathing?” Doc Howard asked. “Does it feel like someone is sitting on your chest?”
“Maybe. A little, I guess.” Billy wondered if he was going to die.
Doc Howard set back on his heels. The snow was coming down in earnest now.
“Billy, I’ve got good news.”
“I just want to get up off this damn freezing cold mud. We’ve got to get to the Randolph’s soon. The way this storm is dumping snow, in another hour, it’s gonna be getting too deep for the wagon to plow through. Can you move it along, Doc?”
“Very well, I’m gonna give it to you straight, Billy. You have some bruised ribs on your right side and possibly one or two broken ones. There’s some abrasions on your hands and face, but overall, you are doing pretty good considering you fell about twenty feet onto these rocks.”
“Well, fix it, man. I’ve got a team to drive. Can you patch me up?”
“I can patch you up, Billy, but there’s no way you’re gonna drive that team of six. Hope, hand me that roll of bandages so I can wrap his ribs.”
Billy tried again to sit up. He needed to get his team and Hope out of this weather. “Argggggh.” He lay back down in the wet mud and wondered how the hell he was going to save his passengers and his best friend’s prized team. What would he have done if Hope and the Doc hadn’t been with him? He knew without one doubt he would have frozen to death on that bank by the Rio Grande River.
He was a stubborn ass, and he could admit to himself people needed doctors and healers. He wasn’t happy that Hope wanted to be one of the healers, but if Hope had her heart set on doctoring, he could work a little harder to figure out how to share her. He could try to live in town. At least part of the time. It might end up killin’ him, but he decided he’d rather die a happy man that live in misery without Hope by his side.
All he had to do know was convince Hope he was willin’
19
Hope had wanted to learn everything about medicine. She really did. But for her first seriously injured patient to be the man she loved was terrifying. The sight of him lying at the bottom of a ravine was the most frightening thing she had witnessed. That was, if you didn’t count the dead man Faith shot back in Kansas City.
Thank the Good Lord Doc Howard was with them. She wouldn’t have had the slightest inkling what to do. Knowing Billy could have died without proper medical attention made her even more determined to learn how to help people.
She watched Doc unwrap the bandages and kneel beside Billy. “Now, this is gonna hurt like hell, but I have to get your wet shirt and coat off and wrap your ribs tight so they don’t pain you as much. Then, I have to get you up and walking to the wagon. I can’t carry you, even with Hope’s help. Ready?”
Billy looked at her and gave her that cheeky grin she loved so much, his dimples creasing his face. “I’m ready, Doc. Hell, this little spill ain’t nothing. Why, one time—”
Hope watched Doc sit Billy up and wait until some of the color came back into Billy’s grayish face. Any story Billy was contemplating telling was lost amid the waves of pain she knew he was feeling.
“Hope, grab my scissors out of the bag. We are going to have to cut his coat and shirt.”
“Doc, that’s my good coat. Help me slip my arms out. Don’t cut it.”
But she followed the doctor’s orders and did as instructed. The surgical scissors made quick work of Billy’s clothing. His breath was labored and the huge bruise on his side and chest was terrifying. She shot Doc Howard a quick glance. She needed reassurance Billy was going to be okay. He read her expression accurately.
“He’ll be alright, but we need to get to shelter as soon as possible.”
