Chasing the Phoenix, page 24
“This is a great wonder to me.” Powerful Locomotive looked down at his bowl and then, holding it out to the side, emptied its contents onto the ground.
“You are wasting your broth!” Darger cried in alarm.
“It’s only calculus. I can always pick it up later, should I have need of it.” As always when he was deepest in thought, Powerful Locomotive twisted his mouth into an expression of distaste. “If Ceo Shrewd Fox is interested in me, then I shall play along. That should give you many an opening to engineer her downfall and my restoration to her rank.”
“Really, General, there is no reason to make an already-confusing situation more complicated.”
“I will give her a rose, as you advised. What color do you suggest it be?”
“Blood red is traditional,” Darger said sourly. “But in this case, I would go with black.”
* * *
AT THE end of the week, the Immortals marched and sailed from Opera downriver to Weedy Lake, a place of no particular interest other than its strategic importance as the last fortified town in Twin Cities before the border with Commerce, southernmost of the four states in the Yellow Sea Alliance. There they stopped, for they were not officially at war with either Commerce or the alliance. Though everybody knew it was only a matter of time.
As he had sailed in, so Darger sailed out, save that this time he did not have Shrewd Fox for company and that he spent a very long time by himself, thinking. He noticed, though barely, that Surplus stayed at a moderate distance, keeping an eye on him and shooing away anyone who would disturb his concentration.
For hour after hour, the coastline flowed by, here a mountain and there a town, like so many images on a scroll. Only the other boats on the river were stationary, or so it seemed. Once, Little Spider slipped past Surplus’s guard and, crouching next to Darger’s chair, said, “What’s wrong?”
Darger looked down at the imp. “I am experiencing a dark night of the soul. Also seeking to find a way to keep not only myself but you and your entire family alive. So I will thank you to go away now and leave me to my labor.”
“Oh. I thought maybe you needed cheering up.”
“No.”
“I brought you something anyway. It comes from the Land of Heroes—that’s where you were born, right? It’s old.” Little Spider produced a silver hip flask.
Darger took the thing and examined it closely. “This is Victorian work, and particularly fine of its kind. It’s a museum piece. How did you come into possession of such a thing?”
Smiling impishly, Little Spider mimed applying rouge to her cheeks. “I just went into the city collections in Crossroads and carried it out.”
Darger stared at the flask so long and so hard that he didn’t even notice when he ceased to see it at all. Nor did he notice when Surplus appeared to send Little Spider below as punishment for disturbing him. He was still thinking when the houseboat arrived at last at the thronged and clamorous docks of Weedy Lake.
It took hours of waiting before the houseboat was given its brief slot at the docks and Darger was able to disembark.
“You look almost cheerful,” Surplus said to him.
“Indeed, I am feeling better than I have felt for some time.”
“You have a plan—that much is obvious. What will you do?”
“What else is there to do in as dire a situation as the one we find ourselves embroiled in? I will call a meeting.”
* * *
DARGER HAD taken to the custom of gathering for conversation in teahouses with all the enthusiasm and snobbery of a convert. He sought out the best teahouses in town, compared them, and then, when he had chosen one, examined its facilities with care. Finally, he booked a private room with a view down into a courtyard garden where autumn trees had just begun their annual molt and sent out invitations. At the appointed time, he stood by the door and greeted each of his invited guests as they entered: Prince First-Born Splendor, Cao White Squall, General Powerful Locomotive, and the Dog Warrior, who came accompanied by his second-in-command and occasional wife, Fire Orchid. Shrewd Fox had also been invited but declined to come.
A young woman wearing a plain but respectable robe and a cheap-looking necklace of colored glass beads brought them tea. As she was filling the glasses, Darger said, “I have made all of you various promises over the past several months. Lately, as I am sure you know, my fortunes have fallen. I am no longer summoned to the Hidden Emperor’s side, and since Shrewd Fox’s elevation in rank, I no longer have the trust and ear of the chief executive officer.”
There was a slight shifting of position and an exchange of near glances among his auditors.
“We didn’t need to be told this,” Powerful Locomotive said.
“Oh? I thought it only polite to let you know.” Darger took a sip of tea. “In any case, necessary or not, I called you all together to assure you that all my promises will be kept—every one and without exception. So you need not worry on my account.”
For a long, still moment nobody spoke. At last, General Powerful Locomotive said, “Well, go on. What else?”
“Else?” Darger said politely.
“I mean, is that … all you had to say?”
“It is. Thank you, everyone, for coming. Thank you for listening. I release you now to your many pressing affairs.”
As the others left, some grumbling, it seemed likely, under their breaths about the time they had just wasted, Darger casually said to the girl who had brought them tea and was now beginning to clear away their glasses, “Young lady. Please stay a moment. There is something I must say to you.”
The young woman lingered as requested. When they were alone, she said, “Sir? What would you do with me?”
Darger slid from his chair and knelt before her. “There is nothing I can do, Your Majesty,” he said, “save obey.”
The servitor stood up straighter, the loose gown flattening somewhat against its wearer’s chest, making the illusion of breasts disappear. The delicate oval face shifted, broadened, became that of a young man. “Only eight people have ever known I was a face dancer,” the Hidden Emperor said, “and seven of them are dead.”
Darger chose to let the implicit threat pass unacknowledged. “I was once told that Powerful Locomotive’s parents had the prenatal gene work done on him in the hope that he might become a spy. I see now that I should have reflected on how much more useful such an ability might prove to be for a ruler.”
“Stand. Then sit,” the Hidden Emperor said, throwing himself into a chair. “Nobody wants to bring the emperor bad news. As a result, I have to go and dig it out myself.” He favored Darger with a sly grin. “I believe you are about to tell me that Shrewd Fox is a threat to my rule.”
“No more so than any powerful subordinate and less so than most, for her faction is small and her hold over Powerful Locomotive’s faction is weak. Also, it must be taken into account that she is a brilliant strategist who serves you well.”
“She doesn’t speak so highly of you.”
“I am her one blind spot.”
“Tell me how you discovered”—the Hidden Emperor waved a hand up and down the cheap gown he wore—“my little secret.”
“Among those who have not met you, Majesty, you are famous for being unknown. But among your inner circle, the most common observation is that you know things that a ruler could not possibly know—because, as you rightly observed, there are things no rational man would dare to report. In Crossroads, a junior member of the Dog Pack fell ill of the plague and upon recovery amused herself by impersonating a joyous one. This allowed her surprising freedom in acquiring objects that did not belong to her. One very swiftly got used to having a joyous one present and, after a time, stopped noticing them. They were all the same, after all, and seemingly incurious.
“This led me to reflect upon how similar a good servant was to such a being—unobtrusive, ubiquitous, seemingly incurious. All servants are in one way or another programmed or conditioned not to eavesdrop. But a face dancer could get around that by sending away his target’s most trusted servant and then impersonating him or her. You, of course, have spies to do that for you, but the spymaster still controls the flow of information. The problem has merely been shifted from one locale to another.
“I came to the conclusion that you were acting as your own spy. Which meant that if I wanted to speak with you, all I had to do to draw you out of hiding was to schedule a meeting of such people as would make you wonder if some traitorous conspiracy were being contemplated.”
The Hidden Emperor lightly clapped his hands. “Well reasoned. So now that you have me, what do you intend to do? Kill me, perhaps?”
“I would not dare attempt such a thing, Majesty.”
A sardonic note entered the emperor’s voice. “Because you are so loyal, you mean?”
“No, Majesty. Simply because a ruler who would repeatedly place himself beyond reach of his bodyguards must surely have some extremely lethal weaponry in his possession.”
“Then what do you intend?”
“I wish merely to ask you why I have lost your trust.”
The Hidden Emperor tapped his fingers on the table, thinking. Then he said, “Tell me about the plot to murder me and place Powerful Locomotive on the throne.”
Darger’s blood ran cold. But he merely said, “Surely you are not going to believe such nonsense, Majesty.”
The emperor’s eyes were cold. “I heard it from your own mouth.”
“I am as capable of nonsense as any man! I first narrated this murderous fantasy to Prince First-Born Splendor in the countryside outside of Brocade to trick him into signing a treaty advantageous to Your Majesty. I told him a parable about a traveler and wolves. Then I asked him if he was willing to get blood on his hands, if it meant saving the lives of thousands of his subjects.…” Speaking as convincingly as he could—and he could be extremely convincing when his life was on the line—Darger laid out the history of his deceits and the convoluted romantic tangle that had been, all against his will, lover by lover, thrust upon him. And though he may have withheld some small details—his sleeping with White Squall, for instance—he scrupulously adhered to the absolute truth in his account.
The telling took a long time. When Darger was done, the Hidden Emperor said, “I would have expected a more successful resolution of these various romantic desires from the Perfect Strategist.”
“Remember, Majesty, that these are not matters of military strategy, where my skill and judgment are paramount, but human interrelationships, of which no man is a master. I was forced to tell one or two lies in order to keep your best subordinates from killing one another. But keep them in line I did! All of this was done in your service, Majesty, and in the service of your destiny to conquer and rule China the Great.”
“Hmmm.” The emperor pondered all he had heard in silence for a time. Then he said, “It does make sense of much that had seemed inexplicable.”
“The important thing for you to know is that none of the people involved actively desired your demise. They were simply caught up in webs of fantasy and moonshine I wove for them.”
The Hidden Emperor asked several questions, probing for inconsistencies in Darger’s account. He found none, for there were none there to find. Nor did Darger have to resort to invention, for the plain unvarnished facts were irrational enough that no sane man could have doubted them. At last, the emperor said, “You seem to be telling the truth.”
“There is a time and a place for lies, Majesty, but this is not it. To you, I dare speak only the truth.”
“The story you told me about your being an immortal and your long years of study. In which camp does it belong?”
“Majesty, I will speak to you frankly. My Utopian origins, my immortality, my studies, the centuries spent in the desert with the Dog Warrior, my determination that China must be restored, and my discovery that you were the perfect vessel for that destiny—all these are true. Particularly the last. Every time you listened to me, you prospered. But when you did not, your fortunes still prospered, though not as spectacularly. Had I put myself in the service of any other king who then utilized my genius as sparingly as you have, he would by now be long dead. Yet you remain and your cause moves forward. It is even possible that you would have reached this point without my assistance—though not, I’ll warrant, nearly so quickly.”
The Hidden Emperor nodded, possibly involuntarily. “The question is,” he said, “what should I do about you?”
“You will do as you wish.”
The Hidden Emperor waited. “And?” he said at last.
“That’s all.”
That sly smile returned to the emperor’s face. “That was the right answer. You are still out of favor, but you may live. For now.”
* * *
THE AFTERNOON had grown late while Darger was in the teahouse. He sought out Surplus and found his friend with the Dog Pack on a grassy expanse outside the city, taking turns practicing equestrian stunts.
“Watch this,” Surplus said and, leaping into Buttercup’s saddle, urged his mount to a full gallop. Meanwhile, on the far side of the sward, Fire Orchid did the same with her own mountain horse, Dragonfly.
Straight toward each other the two noble beasts ran at full speed, neither veering away, until it seemed they must inevitably collide. Then, at the last possible instant, Dragonfly crouched so low to the ground that her belly grazed the grass and Buttercup leaped high over her, so that they passed under and over each other without touching.
Everybody in the Dog Pack cheered. Fire Orchid, glowing with exertion, trotted her mountain horse over to Darger and said, “Did you catch the sexual subtext to the stunt? Next time I want to be on top. Don’t you blush. It’s okay—we’re married.”
“No, we’re not,” Surplus said, bringing Buttercup to a stop nearby.
Intense Lotus clapped her hands for attention. “Everybody! Today you learned the basic moves. Tomorrow we start combining them. First thing after breakfast, I’ll mark out a circle and we’ll all hammer stakes into it in place of a dressage fence. Then two riders will race their mountain horses around the outside and two around the inside, leaping up and over and down and under in alternation each lap. When you’ve got that down, I’ll give all the riders swords. So then the drill will be: up and over, outside rider takes a swing at the head of the inside rider, who ducks; down and under, inside rider takes a swing at the head of the outside rider, who ducks. This will look spectacular but obviously requires lots of practice.”
“That is good as far as it goes,” Surplus said critically. “But once a sword is drawn, it must see combat. So let’s make that: outside rider swings, inside rider swings, and third time the swords clash. If it can be done in such a way that sparks fly, so much the better.” Then, as an afterthought, “And use cheap swords—at these speeds nobody will know the difference.”
“Your first suggestion is good,” Intense Lotus said. “Your second is insulting. Next thing, you will be telling me how to shortchange shopkeepers.”
Several of the Dog Pack snickered. But Fire Orchid silenced them with a look.
“Domesticity suits you,” Darger said as he and Surplus walked away from the Dog Pack for a little private talk.
“Fire Orchid and I are not—”
“I never said that you were. Why in the world are you putting together a stunt-riding act, of all things?”
“It was the only way I could think of to keep the family out of trouble,” Surplus said. “If they’re not doing something, they have a tendency to go out and … do things. Also, it’s a good way to draw a nice, dense crowd. One where we can send in our pickpockets and clean up. Not that I intend to let that happen while we’re under Shrewd Fox’s scrutiny and probation.”
They walked on for a bit. Then Darger said, “I have spoken with the Hidden Emperor.”
“And?”
“We had a free and frank exchange of viewpoints.”
“As bad as that? Oh, dear.”
“There were glimmers of light here and there. I did manage to engineer a partial reconciliation, and I am almost certain that the emperor does not intend to kill us. But he no longer believes his ultimate success relies upon our support. Subsequently, his patronage of us hangs by a thread.”
“And our identities as near-godlike immortals?”
“Intact,” Darger said. “Though who knows to what degree the Hidden Emperor ever really believed in it.”
“Well, it sounds as though you’ve played as good a game as anybody could have, given the strange cards we were dealt.”
Darger ducked his head to acknowledge the compliment. “Just make sure that everybody remains ready to leave at a moment’s notice. If and when the Hidden Emperor decides to turn on us, we will have no time to prepare and only minutes in which to act.”
15.
“There is a price for everything,” the Perfect Strategist said, “and that price must be paid, if not by the debtor then by his creditor. Nowhere in heaven or on earth is there to be found such a thing as a free lunch.”
—THE SAYINGS OF THE PERFECT STRATEGIST
THREE WEEKS into the siege of South, Surplus said, “This grows stale.”
He and Darger were on a boat on the river, just out of enemy cannon range, mountain watching. Far to one side was Curling Dragon Mountain and far to the other was Crouching Tiger Mountain, both gleaming in the twilight. With sunset, the clouds that gave Purple-Gold Mountain its name were gathering about its peak. The high-walled city of South huddled below it, lamps and torches glowing peaceably in the shadows, as if the war were nothing but a distant rumor. But on the mountain slopes above, pinpricks of light sparkled as riflemen fought a desperate skirmish rendered silent and griefless by distance.
His friend nodded agreement. “Worse, it eats up the autumn. We have only so much time before the cold weather sets in and we’re faced with the unpleasant choice of retreating to Weedy Lake to wait for spring—which gives the Yellow Sea Alliance further time to prepare against us—or conducting a winter war, with all the miseries of cold and ice and difficulties of travel that the season entails.”
