Roman, page 5
I didn’t wash my hair because I just wanted to crawl into bed. I’d wash it in the sink tomorrow and deal with the long mass then. I’d have to because I wanted to wear it down to cover as many of the scars on my face I could. Makeup helped, but I had to cake it on thick. I use a silicone gel underneath and a thick foundation to smooth everything over. It was a horrid ritual that took time, but it was the only way to hide the nasty things. And I didn’t want to see Roman unless my scars were covered.
Roman. God, the man was larger than life! He was quiet most of the time. No-nonsense. When he needed to take charge, he did so without hesitation. I saw the way the club girl had looked at him. She wanted him. What woman wouldn’t? He was tall, muscled, powerful. Everything a girl needed to keep her safe. He was the type of man to defend what was his with everything in him. At least, I thought he was. He’d also seemed to have claimed me. I hoped I was right about that, because that was the way I wanted it to be.
I lay in bed for a long time. Just thinking. I replayed the fight in my head. Roman’s response. The response of the other club members. Sting and Brick hadn’t batted an eyelash until I’d stabbed that woman. Then they hadn’t come after me, but her. They’d made it sound like it was the club girl’s fault. I’d attacked first, but I’d been provoked. They seemed to understand that.
I sighed, turning over to glance at the clock. One twenty-three. Had I dozed off or had I been thinking that long? I glanced at my phone on the dresser. It was way too late to call Roman. Besides, I was sure he was just being nice. Or trying to reassure me he wouldn’t be with another woman. But why? Was it all an elaborate scheme to get me to have sex with him? Again, why? He could have any woman he wanted. I wasn’t even sure I could have sex with anyone. He’d said it didn’t matter, but I knew in my heart it did. What man as rugged and strong as Roman wouldn’t need sex? And if I couldn’t give it to him, he’d get it somewhere else. And I’d be heartbroken.
No. Roman wasn’t the man for me. But I wanted him to be.
Chapter Four
Winter
I woke up with Serelda’s back solidly against mine. We often slept like that because we felt safer. Even in the years since we’d been safe behind the walls of Black Reign, it was a habit we’d never broken.
“You going to the common room for breakfast?” Serelda looked over her shoulder as she spoke. I should have known she was awake. We always woke together, no matter how long either of us had been asleep.
“I thought I might. You want to come with me?”
She was silent for a long while. I thought she might have gone back to sleep, but she let out a defeated sigh, then answered me. “No. Not today. Will you bring me back something?”
“You know I will.”
“You know what I like.”
“I do.”
I got up and showered, washing my hair thoroughly. The towel from the night before was still over the mirror. I didn’t remove it until I’d brushed and dried my hair. Then, with a sigh, I removed it long enough to put the putty-like silicone on my face to smooth out the scars over my skin, then cover it all with a thick foundation. Years of this same ritual helped me to hurry. Before leaving the bathroom, I replaced the towel.
Serelda was still in bed and had gone back to sleep. The scars on her face were much worse than mine because she’d tried to protect me. That had been her punishment.
A rage built inside me. It always did when I remembered how she’d protected me from those vile men when I couldn’t protect myself. I wanted to kill them all. Every single one. But I had no way of doing it. Not when I didn’t know who they were. Our father was dead. So was our stepmother. They were the only two people I knew of who could tell us the names of the men they’d sold us to. Truthfully, there were so many I doubt either of them could have remembered anyway.
Taking a breath, I closed my eyes and pictured a quiet, sunny meadow. The only sounds around me were birds singing, summer bugs buzzing, and a warm breeze rustling the leaves of trees surrounding the meadow. I pictured that scene in my mind until I could almost feel the wind on my face.
Deep breath in. Let it out slowly. Repeat.
Once I was steady again, I finished dressing before heading out of our room.
The common room was humming with activity. Men were up and about, the party seeming to be never ending. Though no one was drinking, and there were no women present other than Iris. When the younger woman spotted me, she smiled warmly, getting up and coming to me.
“I’m so glad to see you here, Winter. Do you want some breakfast? Blaze has it up and running. Should be out in ten minutes or so.”
“I’d love some. May I take Serelda a plate as well?”
“Of course! You never have to ask for that, Winter.” Iris looped her arms around one of mine and led me to a table where Sting lounged lazily. I knew better, though. He looked deceptively relaxed. He was very much aware of his surroundings, even if it was within his own clubhouse.
“Good to see you out and about, Winter. Is Serelda well?” Sting stood and held a chair for me, then for Iris before sitting back down.
“She’s good. Bit tired. She was still asleep when I left.”
“I imagine so. You had a long day yesterday.”
“Glad you came down for breakfast, Winter.” Roman approached us with two plates while a prospect followed him with two more. The other man set his plates in front of Iris and Sting while Roman put one in front of me before taking a seat beside me with his own. “You and Serelda sleep well?”
“Yes. Thanks.” I was so nervous there was no way I could eat. I pushed eggs, biscuits, and gravy around on my plate, nibbling at the bacon. I wanted to eat but was so nervous I couldn’t.
Roman dug into his food, forking enormous amounts of carbs into his mouth over and over. He made it look so good I had to try a little. I was glad I did, because the stuff was delicious.
Talk continued around the table. Nothing heavy. Just discussions about the girls Sting and Iris had brought with them back from Black Reign. Girls who’d been in the group home where Iris and her sister had lived. Sting had plans for him and Iris to adopt the three other girls along with Jerrica. Which was where I knew Serelda and I could be of use.
I cleared my throat and wiped my mouth carefully. “Serelda and I could help you with them, Iris. That is, if you need help.”
“Are you kidding?” Iris grinned broadly. “We can use all the help we can get! I’ve never been a parent. Not really, anyway. I’ve always tried my best to care for Jerrica, but two teenagers and a traumatized six-year-old are way beyond my ability to handle on my own.”
“Not sure I can do much with Clover other than be there to hold her when she needs it, but I’m willing to do whatever I can. I’m sure the others are bad off in some ways, too. Knowing Serelda and I went through something similar might give them something they need to stay strong.” I said the last softly, not really wanting to voice it but knowing it was the truth.
“I think you’re very kind to offer so much of yourself, Winter.” Iris reached over and squeezed my hand. She looked like she was near tears but didn’t look at me with pity. It was more gratitude than anything else. Maybe this is what Serelda and I were meant to do. Maybe we could help these girls heal and, as a result, help ourselves. “Thank you so much. I’ll be grateful for the help and the insight.”
“How’s Jerrica doing?”
Iris squeezed my hand once more before letting go. “Surprisingly well. She has nightmares sometimes, and it’s hard for her to be away from me at night, but she wasn’t hurt physically. Just traumatized mentally.”
“I’m glad it wasn’t worse for her. No child should have to go through anything like that. Are the others doing OK, too?”
“So far. They have nightmares too, but the one I’m worried most about is Clover. I have no idea what kind of past she has, but she doesn’t speak and rarely interacts with anyone. Only her stuffed bunny. I think that’s her imaginary friend, but she still doesn’t talk. At least, I’ve never heard her.”
“This is going to take more than love to fix.” Brick pushed his empty plate back and crossed his hands over his belly. “We need to think about finding a good shrink for kids. You know. After the legal shit’s done. Don’t want there to be a chance of someone decidin’ they need to be somewhere other than an MC compound.”
“A solid plan.” Sting brought Iris’s hand to his lips and kissed her palm. “We’ll do whatever we need to, so those girls get the right help. Can Stitches take care of that?”
“I’ll talk to him about it.” Brick scratched his chin under his beard. “I’m sure he’s got connections.”
“Good. Keep me posted.” He and Iris stood, Sting taking her hand and leading her from the common room.
“You want to take Serelda some breakfast?” Roman rested his hand on my back, rubbing up and down in a soothing gesture. To my surprise, I soaked up the touch. Was I starving for affectionate human interaction? I’d never wanted anyone to touch me at Black Reign, though there were several men there I adored. They were more like older brothers or best friends than anything else. With Roman, I actually leaned into his touch. It surprised me how much I liked it. And those kisses we’d shared…
I nodded, not sure I could speak. I stood and reached for our plates, but Roman stopped me. “The prospects will take care of that. Come on. We’ll take Serelda something, then take advantage of the warm weather and go on a ride. How does that sound?”
“I -- I’m not sure I should leave Serelda…”
“Go with the man.” Brick stood and gathered all the plates, shoving them at a passing prospect. “He’s just gonna keep at it till you give in. I’ll keep an eye on your sister.” He winked at me before leaving.
“Why is he so interested in Serelda?” While I didn’t disapprove, I was worried he’d scare my sister. She’d seemed to be fine around him, but that could change if something he did gave her a flashback. It had been a while since she’d had one, but they still happened occasionally.
“Not sure. He’s protective of her, and she couldn’t do better than Brick for protection.” Roman took my hand. “Come on. You ever ridden a bike before?”
“I rode with Rycks a few times. Before Lyric came back into his life. After that, sometimes Iron and Tank would take me and Serelda out. Not often.”
“You enjoy it?”
“I love it. Sometimes, it feels like I’m flying.”
“Good. Can’t have my woman not likin’ to ride behind me.”
That brought me up short. “Your… woman?”
He grinned at me, and my knees nearly buckled. That smile was devastating. And was I really considering this? Why did it send a thrill through me when he called me his woman?
“Yeah, baby. I’ve already put the word out you’re off-limits to anyone but me. Ain’t no rush, though. We’ll do this at whatever pace you’re comfortable with.”
I frowned when I really wanted to throw myself into his arms. “You’re making this sound like it’s only your decision. Like I don’t have a choice.”
“Not at all. It’s all your decision. I’ve already made mine. Just waitin’ on you. As I see it, my job is to convince you to do what I want. Then we’re both happy.”
The laughter inside me broke free. It wasn’t loud or boisterous, but it was the first time in a very long time I’d felt the need to laugh. It felt better than I remembered. I shook my head. “You’re crazy.”
“I sure am, honey. But I promise you, you’ll love my brand of crazy.”
* * *
Roman
The next week had mild weather. Great for riding, if a little chilly. I bundled Winter up in a heavy jacket with my colors on the back, and we rode every day. Normally I’d never put my jacket on anyone else, but I didn’t have a property patch for her yet. It was in the works, though. This was one thing I wanted no one to mistake. Winter was my woman. Mine.
We always rode through town at a lazy crawl, just enjoying the scenery. Winter had her arms wrapped around my waist, her face against my back. Occasionally she’d giggle or sigh. When she sighed, she rubbed her face against me like a contented little kitten. I’d never been had my chest puff out more in my fucking life. This woman, who was obviously traumatized, didn’t like strange men, yet I’d managed to coax a laugh and a cuddle from her.
Oorah!
I was so fucking gone it wasn’t funny. Yeah. I was good with it.
This was our thing while the weather held. It was late winter, so it didn’t last long. I knew tomorrow the temps would plunge, so I wanted to make this ride last as long as I could. I didn’t want to take her into the city, so I kept to the outskirts, just riding on the open road.
After a couple of hours, she tapped my shoulder and pointed to a fast-food restaurant. It was the first time since we’d been together she’d asked for something. I didn’t care if she wanted food or just the bathroom. It was something.
I stopped in front of the restaurant, turning off the bike. She braced her hand on my shoulder as she climbed off.
“Careful of the pipes, darlin’.”
She smiled. “You always say that.”
“Don’t want you burnin’ yourself.”
“You’ve taken me out enough times this week I know to be careful.” She smiled at me. I got off the bike and took her face in my hands, kissing her lips lightly.
“Can’t be too careful with you, Winter. You’re in my care now. I’m takin’ care of you the best I know how.” She looked up at me with large, wide eyes. Moisture gathered in them before one tear spilled over and down her cheek. I smiled down at her, then pulled her close for a hug. “You matter to me. You matter a lot. I never want anything to happen to you, no matter how small.” With one last squeeze, I took her hand and led her into the restaurant.
“I’ll just be a minute,” she said, pointing to the bathroom.
“Want me to order for you?”
She looked surprised, then bit her bottom lip, looking unsure of herself. “Are we eating?”
I shrugged. “Thought we might get something. They’ll have a big supper at the clubhouse, but you’ve not eaten anything all day. We’ll eat a quick bite here. Assuming, that is, you’re not opposed to the food here?” I frowned. “We can go somewhere else.”
“I’m not all that hungry, Roman. But thank you for thinking of me.”
“Honey, we either eat here or somewhere else. Either way, you’re eatin’.”
Was it my imagination or was she smothering a grin? “Here’s fine. Just get me a burger and fries. Something small. I don’t need much.”
I leaned in to kiss her cheek, and she allowed it, blushing as she looked around her. Was she embarrassed by the public display of affection? She hadn’t seemed to mind earlier when I’d kissed her outside. Then she put her palm over the large scar over her cheek. She did a good job of covering most of the scarring on her face, but the one she put her hand over was long and raised. It must have been deep, and it was obvious she hadn’t had medical attention for it.
“Tell me what’s wrong.” I tried to pull her closer, but she took a subtle step back. “Winter?”
“It’s nothing.” Her gaze darted around the restaurant. There were several people there, but no one seemed to be paying us any attention. She smiled, dropping her hand. “I’ll just be a minute.”
This didn’t sit well with me. I hadn’t addressed it with her, but it was obvious she was uncomfortable with her scars. It was still winter, no matter how mild the weather was, so she wore long sleeves. Her hair framed her face, covering as much as possible, and what was showing was layered in heavy makeup. It was a shame too, because Winter was the loveliest woman I’d ever seen. With or without her scars. I admired her strength and her determination to protect her sister. I never wanted her to hide from me.
When I ordered, the woman behind the counter looked me up and down like she wanted to eat me up. I ignored her, giving my order with disinterest. I could see trouble headed my way, and I absolutely would not fail this test. Winter would be devastated if I did, and I’d lose any chance I might have with her.
“You must be hungry,” the woman said, twirling her hair as she gave me a megawatt smile. “Big strapping man like you. Bettin’ you need lots of calories to fuel that big body.” I didn’t say anything, just stared at her. “You know, I get off in an hour.” She continued to twirl her hair, oblivious to the fact I wasn’t interested. “We could meet up.”
“Just get my fuckin’ food.” I slapped two bills on the counter a little harder than necessary. More than enough to pay for what I’d ordered. I turned to the soda area to fill our cups. Winter rarely drank anything other than water or the occasional beer, so I got her ice water and myself a Coke. Then I stood away from the counter to wait on the food and Winter.
Winter came out before our order was up, and I welcomed her into my arms, kissing the top of her head. “You good, baby?”
She looked up into my eyes and smiled. “Yes. I’m sorry. Just a little self-conscious. You know. My scars.” She looked down, but I caught her chin with the crook of my finger.
“No reason for that. You’re beautiful, Winter. Inside and out.” Again, I leaned in and kissed her softly. When I pulled back, her eyes were closed, and she had a little, bemused smile on her face.
She opened her eyes, her lips still parted, and she brought her fingers to her mouth. Her hands trembled slightly. I smiled down at her as she whispered, “Wow.”
I chuckled. “You’re good for my fuckin’ ego, baby. Come on. Let’s eat.”
The girl at the counter had our food on a tray, ready for pickup. I did, and she winked at me. “One hour,” she whispered. “I’ll meet you out back.”
I heard Winter suck in a breath and could have happily shot the bitch behind the counter. I leaned in and bared my teeth at her. “That’s one. You don’t get a second. Why would I want to be with you when I have her?” I gestured to Winter. Then I looked the waitress up and down with as much disgust as I could. “I’m not interested.”
