“No, Tinsley,” Claire said. “I don’t feel guilt. I told you everything I could say about why you’re here. And that’s the truth. You deserve more. Better. I’ve done a lot for Tucker. I’ve done a lot for Anabel. Now I’m doing a lot for you.”

  A side door opened on the little, brown house and out walked Tucker.

  With a lit cigarette between his lips.

  “Jesus,” Claire said when she saw his face.

  She reached for her phone.

  Really fast.

  Like she was scared.

  “I know who did that,” I said.

  Claire whipped her head to me. “What?”

  “His face. I know who did that.”

  Claire took a deep breath and put her phone down. “Okay. Who did that to him?”

  “Me.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “He was looking at me. He made me uncomfortable. So someone went and took care of it. Three of them actually.”

  Claire’s eyes went wide. “You had your own father jumped?”

  “I didn’t know he was my father. And it’s like you said… about solving problems. Right?”

  “That’s how you found out then?” Claire asked.

  “Yeah. It was supposed to be a warning message to stay away from me. But then Tucker said he was my dad.”

  “I guess I won’t get mad at him then,” Claire said.

  She then started to drive.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “We’re going home to finish this conversation.”

  * * *

  Claire met me out near the pool.

  She handed me a drink that was red and when I sipped it, there wasn’t booze in it. Not that I expected Claire to offer me some.

  Her glass was full of wine.

  Of course.

  “Do I want to know who you put up to attacking Tucker?” Claire asked.

  “No, you don’t,” I said.

  “Okay.”

  “When were you going to tell me?”

  “I already said…” Claire nodded. “I don’t know. Okay? You’re here. You’re happy. I think you’re happy. I know you’re not a fan of me right now. Or ever. But I just wanted you to find happiness. I wanted to make up for everything I screwed up.”

  “So much for not feeling guilt, huh?” I asked.

  “There’s all kinds of guilt, Tinsley. I feel guilty for how things turned out for you. For what I had to do with your mother. And I wanted to make it up to you.”

  “With money.”

  Claire shrugged her shoulders. “Again, I’m not perfect.”

  “So you got Mom and Tucker together and then she got pregnant.”

  “Basically,” Claire said. “I thought they could clean each other up. Love each other.”

  “Clean… you mean Tucker…”

  “Nothing like your mother though,” Claire said. “He’s had himself under control for a long time. Your mother never could get a grip on it.”

  “So she got pregnant and he left.”

  “Not exactly like that. But the story of them together is for him to tell. Not me. I won’t do that, Tinsley. I wasn’t in the middle of their relationship.”

  “So you got two messed up people together and out popped me.”

  “Don’t say it like that.”

  “It’s the truth. And then you felt bad about it. You knew Mom wasn’t cut out to be a mother. So you tried to take care of me. Then what? She got jealous, didn’t she? She had the one thing you didn’t have. Something money couldn’t buy. Which was me.”

  “Tinsley…”

  “No, let me keep going,” I said. “This is fucking perfect, Claire. I was nothing but a pawn my entire life. Mom had something over you. You had something over her. As long as she kept me close she would win. So you threw us out. You walked away. And let me guess… that’s when you found Tucker. You wanted him to get sober and work for you so he could come get me. He could sweep in as this father hero.”

  Claire sipped her wine. “You have an imagination, Tinsley.”

  “Am I wrong?”

  “What do you want me to say to that?” Claire asked. “You’ve obviously written this tale in your mind.”

  “So, edit it.”

  “Any questions you have about your parents, take it to your parents, Tinsley. I’m sure you’ve heard plenty from your mother…”

  “Oh, right. So now I’ll just go knock on Tucker’s door. Apologize that he got his ass kicked. And then sit down and have a glass of iced tea and listen to him?”

  “That’s up to you.”

  “Up to me?” I asked.

  “Up to you. I think that’s why I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t want to confuse you. Hurt you. Make you paranoid.”

  “Like I am right now?”

  “Yes,” Claire said. “I know how your mother can be with stories. Make people feel things…”

  “So this is all up to me,” I said. “Whether I talk to him or not.”

  “I had been sworn to secrecy, Tinsley,” Claire said. “I made sure he was here when you weren’t. I’m sorry for the way he looked at you. And that he made you feel uncomfortable. But… he took a chance by telling you.”

  “He didn’t take a chance,” I said. I laughed. “He was getting beat up and blurted it out to stop the beating. He sounded like a pervert. Saying how beautiful I was. How big I was. It was creepy.”

  Claire rubbed her forehead. “I don’t know what to say then. I obviously fucked this all up for you. His reaction though just proves…”

  “Proves what?” I asked.

  “That he loves you, Tinsley. He cares about you. That doesn’t make him father of the year. I would never suggest that. And I would never suggest you go talk to him. In fact, if you want me to, I’ll fire him. I’ll tell him to stay away. I’ll make him sell his house and leave the state.”

  I swallowed.

  In a way, Claire was strong, beautiful, and a good protector for me and of me.

  In a whole other way, she was fucking clueless.

  “Just what I need,” I said. “More to think about.”

  “You have the truth, Tinsley. I’m sorry it came out the way it did. I didn’t intend for it to happen this way.”

  “I believe that,” I said.

  “Anything else you need to ask me, I’m always here,” Claire said. “I know there are things I won’t answer, but I won’t push you away. We’ll take care of the issue at Bay Falls High. Don’t even worry about it. And anything you need that involves Tucker, let me know.”

  I nodded. “I think I want to be alone.”

  “I understand,” Claire said.

  She took her wine and went back inside.

  I stepped to the edge of the water.

  I could literally do anything I wanted right then.

  Stay. Leave. Get Tucker fired. Start a relationship with him as my father. Call my mother and send her sliding deeper by confessing I knew who my father was and that I could talk to him. Go ask Claire ten thousand more questions. Like what the fuck really happened with your car and that accident?

  It was all there, floating around in my head.

  And there was one thing that stuck out the most.

  This fucking bet.

  That I was some kind of fucking prize.

  I grabbed my phone and looked at the screen.

  One text message later and I had plans to end the bet for real.

  twenty

  Kip stood on the beach flexing his fists with a wicked grin on his face. Knowing exactly why I texted him and what I wanted him to do. It was time to end their bet and time to expose the truth. Not the fake shit they believed in when it came to me. I didn’t want any more fake in my life.

  And out of the three of the Rulz… something about Kip…

  “Hey there, girl,” he said.

  I opened my mouth to say hey in a flirty voice but it came out as a gasp when I saw his hand.

  I pointed. “Fight?”

  “I think it’s only a fight if someone punches back, love.”

  I turned and saw Barr and Pres walking down the beach.

  My heart jumped a mile in the air.

  My body flushed with a sense of guilt.

  But there was no guilt.

  I tried hard to fight that off.

  Barr lit up a fresh cigarette and Pres looked intense. More intense than normal.

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “Nothing worth talking about, sugar,” Pres said.

  “Say that to Kip’s knuckles,” I said.

  Kip brought his fist near his mouth. “Hey there, knuckles. How you feeling? A little rough? But fun, right? Oh, what’s that? You want to do it again? Already?”

  Kip winked at me.

  “That’s pathetic,” I said. “Super tough guy talking to his hand.”

  “Don’t worry, love, we didn’t hurt anyone else in your family,” Barr said.

  “That’s not funny,” I said.

  Barr smirked.

  “Are you okay, sugar?” Pres asked.

  “You tell me,” I said to Pres. “You know everything about me. You find ways to figure things out about me.”

  Pres curled his lip. “Yeah, I think everyone heard about your little fight today.”

  “Yeah,” Kip said. “And your freaking on me over my fight? You’re crazy, girl.”

  “Defending myself,” I said.

  “Me too,” Kip said.

  I laughed. “I really doubt you three ever have to defend yourself. You’re way above that. You make others defend themselves. They’re at your mercy.”

  “Is that a wrong thing?” Barr asked.

  He took a drag of his cigarette and blew the smoke at me.

  I secretly inhaled it.

  That stinky smell that I had weirdly become addicted to. I had no desire to ever smoke a cigarette or ever get involved with someone who did smoke, but the smell of Barr’s smoke… it was different. Not really. But it was.

  “What are you all doing down here?” I asked.

  “Finding a little Zen, girl,” Kip said.

  “Zen?”

  “After a fight,” Kip said. “Check out the waves. Appreciate that I was able to fight. That whole thing.”

  “You beat someone up and you’re finding Zen over it?” I asked.

  “How did you feel dancing on Blair’s face, love?” Barr asked.

  I turned my attention to Barr but didn’t reply.

  “If you need anything from us about Tucker…,” Pres said and trailed off.

  “If I need you to beat him up for missing another birthday of mine, I’ll let you know,” I said.

  “That’s not funny, sugar,” Pres said, mocking me.

  “You all are killing my moment,” Kip said.

  “We’ll be waiting then,” Pres said.

  He walked right toward me like we were a couple and he grabbed my chin - gently, of course - and he lowered his lips to mine.

  The kiss was quick. Just a goodbye kiss.

  But it was laced with even more guilt.

  When Pres walked away, Barr took his place. Cigarette smoke dancing around his head as he pressed his lips to my cheek.

  I again found myself inhaling that gross smell.

  My brain couldn’t figure out what to do.

  I looked at Kip. “What about you?”

  He smiled and looked back at Pres and Barr.

  Once they were far enough away, he winked at me.

  “I’ll wait to get more than a kiss, girl.”

  * * *

  I waited for Kip to text me.

  That meant I paced the front of my SUV for a while. And then I sat behind the wheel. My legs kept jumping so I’d get back out again.

  My phone went off and it was a call.

  It was Mom.

  I sucked in a breath.

  She wasn’t supposed to be calling me.

  I hadn’t talked to her in a while.

  “Hello?” I asked in a shaky voice.

  “There she is,” Mom’s voice said. “My baby. Oh, god, listen to your voice.”

  Right then and there, Mom burst into tears over the phone.

  All these feelings I was having for Kip, wrapping my mind around about finally having one of the Rulz to myself… I did not need crying to take that away from me.

  “Are you okay, Mom?” I asked.

  She cried and sniffled and gasped for a breath. “Tinsley…”

  “Mom?” I yelled into the phone.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. She cleared her throat. “I’m sorry for that. Wow. I didn’t expect that.”

  “How are you?” I asked.

  “I’m here,” she said. “I’m really here, Tinsley. I’m still here.”

  “That’s good.”

  “I think so. I’m starting to feel it.”

  “Feel what?”

  “Better.”

  “That’s good,” I said.

  “It really is. I want to leave. I want to come home so bad, Tinsley. I want to hug you. I want to take you to the beach. Just you and me. And pack junk food. And drinks. And talk about life.”

  My throat closed a little.

  I blinked fast.

  I nodded. “Okay, Mom. We’re going to do that. But you have to stay there. You know that, right?”

  “I know,” she said. “No fucking around this time. Claire has been such a help to me. And you.”

  You don’t know the half of it, Mom.

  “Yes, she has,” I said.

  “Tinsley, tell me you’re okay there.”

  I licked my lips.

  My phone buzzed with a text from Kip.

  All alone girl ;)

  My heart started to race.

  It was time to go.

  “I’m okay here,” I said. “I made some friends. I get to swim. I get to go to the beach whenever I want. I’m actually a little spoiled right now.”

  Mom laughed. “You deserve it so much. I was a shitty mother to you, Tinsley.”

  I shook my head.

  No, Mom, not this... not now…

  My phone buzzed again.

  Kip.

  If I start on my own I’ll have to have someone else finish it

  I swallowed hard.

  My cheeks flushed.

  I knew what Kip’s body looked like. I had seen him surf. I knew all the lines and cuts of muscle and how he moved. Not to mention he smelled like the ocean and those blue eyes were worth the trouble right away.

  “Mom, we can do this later,” I said.

  “I just need you to know that,” Mom said. “I have so much going through my head. All these things. These moments. And each one hurts worse than the previous one.”

  “I know,” I said. “That’s why you’re there. To go through all of that stuff. Hey. Leave all that shit behind.”

  Mom laughed. “Watch your mouth, young lady.”

  “Make me, Mom,” I said.

  We both laughed.

  “Oh, Tinsley…”

  “I kind of have to go now,” I said.

  “Oh, sure. Big plans with your friends?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “Big plans.”

  “Good. Stay busy. Have fun. But not too much fun. Don’t want you to forget about me. I know Claire is rich and can give you so much more than I can… but I’m still your mother.”

  “I know, Mom. I love you.”

  “Love you too, Tinsley.”

  I ended the call and wanted to scream.

  My heart was going in thirty-five directions at once.

  I shut my eyes and took a deep breath.

  I sorted through everyone at once.

  Then I sent Kip a text and told him I was on the way.

  * * *

  His house was giant, which wasn’t a surprise. And whoever built the house loved arches. There were arches out front and inside and all throughout the house. The floors were made of thick tiles and had the same kind of feel that Kip gave off. That’s when it hit me that his mother probably designed the house herself. After everything he told me about his parents, it made sense. The house was instantly comfortable. It wasn’t some gigantic house that made you feel like you were in a museum or something.

  It was welcoming.

  It was cool.

  It was Kip.

  He held my hand as we walked through the house.

  There was a back set of stairs just off the kitchen.

  As we walked the steps, I ran my thumb over Kip’s knuckles. They were still crusted with blood.

  “Who did you fight, Kip?”

  “Nothing to worry about, girl,” he said.

  “I’m asking.”

  “Just some clown from out of town,” he said. “Big mouth.”

  “Did it have anything to do with me?”

  Kip laughed. “Not everything revolves around you.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that,” I said.

  We got to the top of the steps and he turned left.

  I went with him.

  The second door on the right, he opened and nodded for me to go first.

  Again, it was typical Kip fashion.

  The bedroom was big, bright, large windows open with sheer curtains blowing in the beach breeze. His room faced the ocean and the view made me stop.

  I looked around the room.

  The bed was big.

  Comfortable.

  Messy from him sleeping in it last night.

  There were surfboards in the corners of the room.

  Kip stepped up behind me and slid his arms around my waist.

  “What do you think, girl?” he whispered.

  “I think I like it.”

  “Yeah, I think I like it too,” he said.

  His lips touched my neck.

  I jumped and shivered.

  Kip kissed again… and again…

  His hands moved up my body, over my shirt.

  I started to sink back into him, feeling him. The reaction his body had to kissing and touching me made me ache more for him.

  His hands helped themselves to my chest and he put his cheek to my cheek.

  I turned my head the same time he did.

  When he kissed me - from that angle - I reached back and grabbed at his shorts. My right hand nuzzled its way between our bodies. My hand touched him. And even over his shorts… wow.

  Kip then backed away.

  I hurried to turn around and watched as he grabbed his shirt with one hand and stripped it off his beautifully cut body. He rolled it up with one hand and flung it across the room.

 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21