UNLoved: a bay falls high novel, page 19
“Hey, stranger,” a voice said next to me.
“Beth,” I said. “Hey. How are you?”
“Better than you I think. What’s going on?”
“Too much,” I said.
“With the Rulz?” she asked in a whispery voice.
“That, and other things. Personal things.”
“Your mother? Is everything okay?”
I laughed. “Is everything okay? She’s a fucking junkie, Beth. Do you think she’s okay?”
Beth’s eyes went wide. “Ti…”
“You have no idea what it’s like.”
“I never said I did,” Beth said.
“Then don’t fucking ask about it.”
“Jesus, what’s your problem?” Beth asked. “I didn’t do anything to you.”
“I never said you did,” I mocked at Beth.
Her face dropped. “What the hell is going on with you?”
“This place,” I said. “Everything about it. Everyone is fake. Everything is fake.”
“So you’re saying I’m fake?” Beth asked.
“Take it for what it’s worth.” I slammed my locker door. “I don’t want to talk to anyone. That includes you.”
“I didn’t do anything to you,” Beth said. “If anything I should be mad at you. For what you did with Denny.”
“Denny? Seriously? You know what? This isn’t worth my time or my breath right now.”
“Yeah,” Beth said. “Because it’s all fake. Right?”
I turned and felt something slam into my chest.
It was so hard I lost my breath.
And it was so hard I went off my feet and fell to the floor.
The floor was hard.
My butt hurt.
I gasped to catch my breath.
I looked up at Vicky.
“Oops,” she said.
Blair pushed her out of the way and stepped toward me. “You want to scream about being fake, bitch? You’re the most fake person I know.”
“Yeah?” I asked.
“You don’t have a dime to your name. You’re filthy poor. Your mother loves the needle more than you. Then again, I don’t blame her. If I had to deal with you every single day of my life, I’d try to kill myself too.”
I looked over my shoulder and Beth was gone.
I had chased her away.
Which was fine.
I didn’t want anyone else getting hurt because of me.
I climbed to my feet and wasn’t going to back down from Blair. Or Vicky.
“Anything else you want to say?” I asked.
“Oh there’s plenty,” Blair said. “Whatever game you have with the Rulz, it’s over.”
“So that’s what this is?” I asked. “You’re hot for them? Jealous they’re after me?”
“Not even close,” Blair said. “I’m just helping you out. Think of me like a friend.”
“Friend?”
“Maybe it’s all you’ve got. Because you know you won’t be here much longer. Then you’ll be back on the street with your mother. Holding up a sign, begging for food and change. Tell you what, when that happens, let me know. I’ll be the first to give you twenty bucks. Just as long as I could take your picture to remind everyone around here just how gross you really are.”
I nodded. “Keep going, Blair. I hope this makes you feel better.”
“Maybe I’ll knock you down again,” Vicky threw in.
“Face to face, let’s go,” I said.
Blair put her hand out. “Wait. She’s playing really hard. And that’s okay. She has to be hard. Tough. Ready to fight. Nobody loves her. Nobody wants her. She’s all alone.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” I said
I turned and planned on walking away.
Then Blair pushed me.
I could feel her perfect fingernails gently push me.
And I knew what that was.
Her messing with me. Not giving me the time of day to really push me or attack me.
I hated her so much.
She suddenly represented everything BFH was.
If I turned, Vicky would have jumped in and fought me. If I kept walking, Blair would follow and keep pushing at me.
So I did something else.
I turned and attacked.
Both of my hands raked at Blair’s face.
She screamed because that’s what she does.
I didn’t scream though.
I just started to swing.
My hands and fists landed a few times on Blair’s face before Vicky stepped in and grabbed my hair. She pulled hard and my neck snapped to the side. My left hand swung, hitting Vicky in the face next.
Now Vicky and I were tangled up, yet I was trying to break away to get back to Blair. I wanted to put that bitch on the floor and show her what it felt like.
Time wasn’t on our side.
I gave it ten seconds before Jacobson would show up.
I didn’t bother counting because I was too busy fighting.
Jacobson did show up and called my name as loud as he could.
Tinsley. Fucking. Ditkiss.
Granted, he didn’t say the fucking part, but hearing my dumb name yelled so loud made me freeze instantly. I jumped away from Vicky and she turned and grabbed Blair. They took off.
Jacobson turned and pointed but didn’t say anything.
“I’ll deal with them later,” he said. Then he looked at me. “I’m going to deal with you first.”
* * *
There was a leather couch at the back of Jacobson’s office and he told me to sit there.
So I did.
He sat in his chair which was way across the room from me.
Sideways, his right hand on the desk, fingers tapping away.
“Do I even want to ask?” he asked.
“I’m not sure what you want me to say here,” I said. “We were handling it.”
“That is not how we handle things. Not when I’m here.”
“But outside of BFH, it’s okay?” I asked.
Jacobson turned and looked at me. “Outside of this building you can deal with the police. And quite frankly, Miss Ditkiss, I’m debating on whether I should call the police right now.”
“For what?”
“Fighting.”
“Then bring those other two in here and make the call,” I said. “I was defending myself.”
“You looked quite engaged.”
“Yeah. Engaged in defending myself. In case you missed it, there were two of them. And one of me. Think about that for a second. What would you have done?”
“You know, I really think the best thing for you right now is silence.”
“Or what? You’re going to kick me out? I don’t belong here. I’m here as a favor. It won’t matter to me what happens.”
Jacobson nodded. “So that’s how you feel?”
“That’s how I feel.”
“Then maybe we don’t have to have a conversation,” Jacobson said. “You can just freely leave. Go back to your old town. Do whatever you want, Miss Ditkiss. How’s that sound? Because obviously anything I say here doesn’t matter to you. And while I can tell you I feel bad about your home life, I’m not so sure that matters to you either.”
I looked down at the floor.
Then I stood up.
I walked across the office and put my hands to the back of one of the chairs on the other side of Jacobson’s desk.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “Okay? I’m sorry that I walked into this building and broke your rules. I really am.”
“I feel like there’s a but coming next.”
I nodded. “But… I won’t be sorry for anything I’ve done. I don’t belong here and they know that. So what am I supposed to do?”
Jacobson pursed his lips as he stared at me.
This was a moment for him to say something important.
That moment never came because the door opened and in walked Claire.
I looked at her.
Well, you’re alive at least…
“I see you’ve forgotten how to knock, still,” Jacobson said as he stood up.
“Again?” Claire asked.
“Are you asking me or Tinsley?” Jacobson asked.
“Both,” Claire said. She looked at me. “Another fight?”
I shrugged my shoulders.
“This isn’t where you used to live,” Claire said. “You don’t need…”
She trailed off.
“Don’t need to what? To live like a poor girl anymore?” I asked.
“Maybe we can transition this conversation to something else,” Jacobson said.
“No,” Claire said. She pointed at him. “What’s going to happen now?”
“I’m not sure yet,” he said.
“Well, until then, Tinsley can stay home with me.”
“We really should talk-”
“Then call and make arrangements for that,” Claire cut in. “Tinsley, let’s go.”
Claire still had her power over Jacobson.
I exited the office but refused to look at her.
And I refused to talk to her.
She didn’t bother to talk to me either.
We left BFH and when the point came for us to split up to go to our separate vehicles, Claire touched my arm.
“You’re coming with me,” she said.
“What about…”
“Someone is coming to get it.”
“What?”
“I think you and I need to have a long talk.”
nineteen
“You really weren’t in a car accident,” I blurted out before Claire could even get out of the parking lot.
“And you got into another fight,” she threw back at me. “Where would you like to start?”
“Anything that resembles the truth.”
“Okay,” Claire said. “We can do that. You go first, Tinsley.”
“Me? I think what I know or think I know is way more important than some fight.”
“You’re living in my house,” Claire said.
Which was the one thing I had hoped she would never say to me.
But there it was.
Slapping me in the face harder than Vicky’s fist.
“It’s really nothing,” I said. “These two… whatever you want to call them… they won’t leave me alone. So what?”
“The same ones you tried to stab with a screwdriver? The same ones that had their car vandalized?”
“Same ones,” I said.
“So when does that end?” Claire asked.
“When I’m not here anymore.”
“Real nice to say.”
“Well, it’s the truth, right? I’m not here forever. When Mom gets out, I’m gone.”
“Who told you that?”
“You’re going to let Mom live with you too? Take someone recovering and give her the biggest excesses in life?”
Claire laughed. “Do you think I’m going to serve her fresh drugs on a platter?”
I looked over at Claire. “Wow. Thanks for that.”
“You wanted the truth. There it is. And also, I have no idea what’s going to happen with her when this is done. She’s got to get through it first. And you know what, Tinsley? You’re on your own now. You don’t need to take care of your mother. Or have her take care of you.”
“But you can take care of me?” I asked.
“Maybe I’m making a big mistake too then. Okay? Maybe I should drop you off right here on the side of the road. Let you figure out what to do. All I want is for you to have a shot at life.”
“Then teach me how to sell houses or buildings or whatever,” I said. “It worked for you.”
“That’s not how you pick a career.”
“So you just always knew what you wanted to do?”
Claire laughed. “That’s what you want to talk about?”
“When you’re poor, it’s amazing to see those who have money. And you always want to ask what they do for a living.”
Claire gripped the wheel tighter. “So what do you think the solution is to this problem you’re having?”
“Problem?”
“These fights.”
“Oh. We’re still talking about that.”
“Yeah, we are. You can leave here right now but that’s still a problem. I don’t like leaving problems behind. I like solving problems.”
So many words and questions went through my head.
I took a deep breath.
“Okay, fine,” I said. “The only thing I can do is what I did today. Stand up for myself. Just because they have money… well, their parents have money… that doesn’t mean they can mess with me. Call me names. Threaten me. And then attack me. They hit first.”
Claire slowly nodded. “But fight after fight after fight gets nowhere.”
“I understand. What would you do then?”
“Truth? Find a weakness and exploit it. Break the bitches down with fear. That’s where the power is. Not in a fist.”
“Wow,” I said. “I take it you’ve been through this before.”
“I’ve had my fair share of fights,” Claire said.
“So I guess I need to stick around then. Get into their minds, huh?”
“Up to you,” Claire said. “The offer still stands.”
“And what offer is that, Claire? It’s my turn to talk now. My turn for you to answer my questions. And no crap.”
“Okay. You want to know about my car accident.”
“Actually, I don’t,” I said. “I know what I saw. And, yeah, I don’t understand it… but oh well. I want to know something else.”
“And what’s that?” she asked.
“Tucker,” I said.
Claire looked at me quick. “What’s that?”
“Liar,” I said. “Tucker said he’s my father. And you’re lying to me about it.”
Claire drifted to the side of the road.
For a split second I had this vision of her purposely crashing the SUV to silence me.
But she slowed right down and put the SUV into park.
“What did you just say to me?” she asked.
“You heard me. The way he kept looking at me. I found out the truth.”
“The truth?”
“He’s my father. Just say it, Claire. Say it! You’re involved with my entire life. From the time I was a baby. You helped my mother the best you could. Now you’re doing it again. And you have my father working for you. Just tell me the truth.”
A tear slipped from my eye.
I didn’t want to cry in front of her.
Dammit.
Claire reached across the seat and slowly wiped away that tear.
She nodded. “Yes… Tucker is your father.”
* * *
My mouth was open.
“It’s okay,” Claire whispered. “I’ll explain everything to you. I promise.”
“Tucker… Teddy…Ted…”
“Stick with Tucker,” Claire said. “That’s how everyone knows him. Has always known him.”
“Who is he?” I asked. “And he really works for you? In real estate?”
“Let’s go for a quick ride first,” Claire said.
That was not what I wanted to hear.
I feverishly played with my nails, trying to hold back tears. Lots of tears. And the anger. And the confusion. Not to mention everything else that had been happening all at once in BFH.
I didn’t come here on a fun fact finding mission to find my father.
This was supposed to be me ruining the Rulz.
It was supposed to be me showing them I wasn’t some throwaway toy.
Now everything was upside down.
Completely upside down.
Claire drove to the opposite end of town where the houses were much smaller. Where there were apartments and condos.
She got as close to the beach as she could and pointed to a little, brown house right on the beach. It almost looked like a cabin you’d find in the woods.
“That's where he lives,” Claire said. “That’s where your father lives. And before you get mad at me or yell at me or want to runaway… can I tell you something?”
“Sure,” I said.
“I planned on telling you,” Claire said. She looked at me. “You don’t have to believe that. But it’s the truth.”
“What were you waiting for?”
“The right moment.”
“When? Before or after you let Barr into the house? Or showed me you were sleeping with a married man? Or showed me the man you actually love?”
Claire laughed.
A really deep and hard laugh.
“What is so funny?” I yelled to her.
Claire grabbed my hand. “Tinsley. Rich isn’t perfect. Money doesn’t make you happy. I can list ten thousand clichés about wealth. You’re seeing it. So, yeah, I have to tiptoe sometimes with the Richter family. And I’m sorry if you don’t like Barrington. He’s a pompous asshole. But their perfect little boy has a dark side.”
Yeah, I know that, Claire.
“As far as my personal relationships go, that’s my business. I love Jeff dearly. And when I miss him so much it hurts, I have other arrangements. Those are ones that I will not allow my heart to get hurt. If that’s wrong, then fine, I’m wrong. Now, you wanted to talk about your father.”
“So talk,” I said.
Claire nodded to the house. “Yes, he does work for me. That’s the truth. I helped him get set up down here when I settled down here. I wanted him to have something that looked like a decent enough life. He’s had a tough life.”
“Wait a second,” I said. “You’re helping the guy who got my mother pregnant and left her? I’m supposed to feel bad for this guy?”
“No,” Claire said. “I’m telling you the truth. The truth you’re determined to hear. I knew him before I knew your mother. I kicked him out of a few places. Felt bad. And then I did something I can’t figure out if it was good or bad.”
“Which is what?” I asked.
“I introduced Tucker to your mother,” Claire said. “This is all my fault. Yet how can I say that when I look at you, Tinsley? Look at how beautiful you are. Look at how perfect you are. How smart you are. Not just book smart. Street smart too.”
I swallowed hard. “They met because of you. That’s why you feel so guilty. That’s why you helped me.”
