UNLoved: a bay falls high novel, page 10
How fitting.
When Barr got into the car, I reached for his hand.
“Look at me,” I said.
He turned his head. “Yeah?”
“Your face okay?”
“I’ll never be as pretty as you, love, but I’ll be fine.”
Barr leaned toward me.
I hurried to meet him.
This time when we kissed it was different.
It was that kind of kiss. The one where you knew things were going to lead somewhere else. And Barr had a nice backseat. And we were in a private spot that he owned. Nobody could bother us. Nobody could stop us either.
His left hand touched my face and moved down. As he moved over my chest, I let out a sighing breath into his mouth. His hand then moved down, playing with the bottom of my shirt. I slowly shifted myself, putting my butt flat against the seat of the car and leaning back, lifting my hips.
The kiss broke and Barr ran his lips along the curve of my neck.
I let out another breath and felt his fingertips at the top of my pants.
My phone started to ring.
No, no, no, no…
And I couldn’t ignore the ring tone.
Because it was Claire.
But I couldn’t reach for my phone.
I was frozen in place, trapped in this crazy moment with Barr.
The phone stopped ringing.
But a few moments later, a text came through.
I managed to lean forward enough and read the screen.
“Oh, shit, Barr,” I said. “I have to get home right now.”
“No you don’t, love,” he whispered into my ear.
“Yes, I do.” I turned my head and locked eyes with him. “Claire was in a car accident.”
* * *
Barr drove faster than he had all night.
We were back at Claire’s in no time. My stomach was in a tight knot for about fifteen reasons, including the way Barr drove. That car was fast and dangerous… almost like Barr tonight.
He sped up the driveway to drop me off and I reached for his hand again.
“Sorry about this,” I whispered.
“No worries, love,” he said. “Hope Claire is okay.”
“You mean that?”
“Fifty-fifty,” he said with a grin.
“Hey. You never told me why that guy went after you.”
“You really want to know why, love?” Barr asked.
“Yes.”
“I fucked his girlfriend.”
“What?”
“You heard me. He’s a lowlife bartender. I think he deals weed too. His girlfriend is gorgeous. Can sing for days. She deserved better.”
“And you were better?”
“No. I was the excuse she needed to get away.”
“So you slept with some beautiful woman so her boyfriend would dump her?”
“And people think I’m not charitable, huh?”
I pulled away from Barr. “That’s disgusting.”
“I don’t know about that, love,” he said. “You were pretty close to giving me the same thing she did…”
I thought about punching him.
But he’d only like that.
“Never,” I said. “And just when I thought you could be human…”
“You better go check on Claire,” Barr said with a wink.
I got out of his car and slammed the door as hard as I could.
For a second, I wished I had a screwdriver so I could leave him a little love letter of fuck you scratched into the side of his six figure ride.
Barr took off, leaving me standing there breathless one more time for the night.
I heard the front door to the house open and I turned to see who it was.
When I saw Claire, I almost let out a scream.
ten
Claire looked terrible.
And I meant that in the nicest way possible.
There were cuts and bruises all over her face.
Yet she found a way to stand in the doorway elegantly, wearing a silk robe, holding a gigantic glass of wine.
“Claire…”
“Sorry to ruin your night,” she said.
“Nothing was ruined,” I said.
In fact, in a way, Claire had saved the night. She had saved me.
I had been seriously thinking thoughts about Barr… and if my cell hadn’t rung…
For me to only find out the truth as to why that guy wanted to fight him. And you know what? Barr deserved to get his ass kicked. I almost wished the fight hadn’t stopped. I regretted worrying about the hits he took. And kissing him. And letting him touch me.
I shook the thoughts away and caught myself needing to hug Claire.
My arms wrapped around her and she hugged me back.
“It’s okay,” she whispered. “I just needed to know you were safe, too.”
“Me? Why me?”
“Paranoia,” she said. “Anxiety. I got into an accident and all I could think about was you getting into an accident.”
“Oh, Claire,” I said.
She smiled. “I feel like a mother.”
“Well, you kind of are to me right now,” I said.
My chin started to quiver again.
Stupid, Ti…
“Oh, Tinsley,” Claire said.
She touched my cheek and I started to cry.
She wrapped her arms around me again.
She then walked me into the dimly lit kitchen.
There was a wine bottle on the counter.
“You can have a glass,” she said.
“No, thanks,” I said.
“Right.”
“Claire, what happened?”
“I took the convertible out,” she said. “Nice day and night for a little ride. Met up with two friends for a drink and something to eat.” She put her hand out. “Just one small glass of wine. Before you also question me.”
“Also?”
“The police always ask if someone has been drinking,” Claire said.
“Oh. Right.”
“It wasn’t that at all,” Claire said. “I respect what they have to do though. I know most of the cops anyway. They know me.”
“So what happened?”
“It was just an accident, Tinsley,” Claire said. “Nothing exciting.”
“Your face suggests a different story, Claire,” I said.
“Well, that’s the worst of it. I mean, this looks so much worse than it really is. I guess being in the convertible… getting hit and getting smashed around. With the top down. The wind. Glass. You know?”
I nodded, but I really had no clue what she was talking about. I was never in a car accident before (knock on wood) so I wasn’t sure if being in a convertible would make things worse or not.
“I’m so sorry, Claire,” I said. “I mean… I’m just trying to absorb this right now.”
“Don’t. I’m almost sorry for calling you. Bothering you. I just… panicked.”
“No, I’m glad you did call,” I said. I approached her again. My eyes filled with tears. “I don’t think I can lose you.”
“Oh, Tinsley,” Claire said.
She grabbed my arms and we hugged again.
And we actually cried together.
Claire holding me.
The thought of her… dying… I couldn’t imagine it. Losing her. And then losing everything in BFH. I’d be tossed to the street in a heartbeat, left with nothing. Without Claire paying for the rehab, Mom would get right out and go right back to the stuff she swore she’d never go near again. It would be a giant, black hole of spiraling sadness.
And that’s why I cried on Claire’s shoulder.
Until she finally broke the hug and held my face. “I should have taken you, Tinsley. I should have taken you and kept you for myself.”
I laughed. “What?”
“When your mother left… she was so lost and we got so close. I really thought about it. But then something in me…” Claire took a breath and sighed. “Wow. I never talk like this.”
“A car crash and wine will do that to you,” I said.
“I suppose so. But, hey, tonight… we’re alive. And well. Cuts will heal. Bruises will fade. It’s what’s in our eyes that matters.”
That right there was more sound advice and wisdom than anything my mother had ever said to me. Ever. In my entire life.
“If you need anything, Claire…”
“It’s okay. I already made a call and got checked out. They wanted me to get into a goddamn ambulance. Like hell. I’m not showing that kind of weakness. I’ll walk my ass home if need be.”
“I don’t know if that means you’re strong or stubborn.”
“Neither do I,” Claire said with a smile.
She kissed my cheek and walked away.
My heart didn’t know what to do. Race. Pound. Sink. Swim. Explode.
But everyone was okay.
Claire was okay.
I was okay.
Close calls, sure, but we were still standing.
For some reason I never felt so close to Claire as I did then.
I went out back and stood at the pool, watching the water gently dance. I sent Gi a text that my date with Barr was a bust.
She wrote back a letter V with a question mark.
I wrote back with a X.
Meaning nothing had happened between Barr and me.
Iris said ur a prude 4 real!
I laughed.
I bit my lip.
Tell Iris I said she can go screw a screwdriver
I walked from the pool to the side of the house.
There was a side door that went into the garage.
This wasn’t some normal garage though.
It was a fucking house in itself.
And Claire had herself a nice little collection of cars.
Well, now it was minus one.
I put my hand to the door when my phone buzzed again.
Iris said at least she was still gettin sum. lol
“Bitch,” I whispered.
I didn’t bother responding.
I’d catch them tomorrow.
I opened the garage door and stepped inside.
I heard the click and a light turned on.
That was followed by a series of lights.
It was a breathtaking sight.
But when I lost my breath, it was for a totally different reason.
I pointed as though someone was with me.
And I pointed right to a convertible.
The convertible.
The one Claire said she had crashed.
Better yet… there wasn’t a missing car from the garage at all.
I swallowed hard, closing my eyes, opening them again, making sure my mind wasn’t messing with me.
It wasn’t.
Every single one of Claire’s cars were in the garage.
Yet her face looked the way it did.
Which meant one thing…
Claire looked me in the eyes, cried, and lied to me.
* * *
I realized how much I really enjoyed sleep only when I wasn’t able to sleep. Even in that huge bed in the huge bedroom. With every possible blanket, sheet and pillow, leaving me feeling not too warm, not too cold, almost like sleeping on a cloud or whatever stupid thing rich people would describe it as… it still wasn’t enough.
Hours ticked by and when I did shut my eyes I heard the sound of Barr playing piano. And I pictured Claire getting into a car accident. Both things did not make sense to me. That Barr had so much hidden talent like he did. And somehow that underground music club was his outlet in a way. Then he still fooled around with someone’s girlfriend. Which wasn’t my business. Richy should have kept punching him in the face. What bothered me was the sense of jealousy that I went through. I didn’t want to be jealous of Barr and someone else together. It had been just tonight.
Just the night.
Getting caught up in the whole scene.
Caught up in Barr showing himself to me in a way he hadn’t done with anyone else.
And in the same breath, Claire too.
She wasn’t one to reveal herself as hurt. Being hurt for Claire was a weakness. That much I always knew about her. Even when I was little, I could remember her always being this super cold bitch in front of people but then if it was just her, Mom, and me in the apartment Claire owned, her tone would change. She’d become sympathetic. A little.
But seeing Claire after the car accident tonight…
Or whatever it was.
That made me roll over, groan, and pull the covers over my head all the way.
The convertible was perfectly intact.
I saw it with my own eyes.
And on top of that, I came so close to doing something with Barr. Something that would have changed all of our lives. Not my first time, but the time that would shake the world inside of BFH.
I eventually did sleep but not nearly long enough.
My eyes opened again and I was in the exact same position.
My typical morning routine included walking to the window to look at the ocean for a second. My subtle way of reminding myself all of this was actually happening and not some kind of crazy dream.
Downstairs, there was fresh coffee, fresh fruit, and the sweet and salty smell colliding of pancakes and bacon. A massive breakfast, as always.
Claire walked through the kitchen, dressed like a calculated bitch ready to take down an entire company. Complete with large, black sunglasses on her face which helped to cover up some of the marks. She had a bag hooked on the bend of her elbow as she walked by me.
“Morning,” I said.
“Help is here if you need anything today,” she said in a monotone voice. “I’ll be busy today and late tonight. You’re on your own.”
She breezed right by me.
I wiped crusted sleep from the corners of my eyes and asked for coffee.
It was like being at a restaurant.
I wasn’t allowed to go near the coffee, the fridge or the stove.
People were paid to do that for me.
Still very weird to experience.
I took my coffee to the front door and opened it a little.
There was a white SUV waiting for Claire, the back door open.
She stood at the front of it though, looking toward the garage.
I stepped out of the house and couldn’t believe my eyes.
There was a beat up tow truck sitting there.
With a car on the flatbed behind it.
The convertible.
Except the car now was beat up. Heavily beat up. The driver’s side was all smashed in. The windows taken right off. The top down. The windshield smashed a little bit and crooked. The airbags deployed, looking like off white blankets hanging from the inside of the car.
“What the…”
Claire started to turn and I quickly moved back into the house.
I held my breath as long as I could.
Which wasn’t very long.
I sipped the ultra-delicious coffee.
I peeked back outside and the white SUV was gone.
Which meant Claire was gone.
The tow truck was gone too.
I snuck to the garage and saw that the convertible was indeed gone.
I had no idea what Claire was up to.
She looked like she had gotten into an accident. Or something of the like. She lied to me about her car. Then she had the car towed. But the car now did look like it had been in an accident.
So either Claire was really good at lying or my eyes were playing tricks on me.
One truth I could hold onto though…
BFH was starting to make living dirty and poor feel like normal and okay.
* * *
“There she is,” Iris said with a big grin. “Let’s see it.”
“See what?” I asked.
“Your V-card,” Iris said. “See if that hole got punched. Get it?”
“Is she really dumb or what?” I asked Gi. “Does she not get that it’s already been punched?”
“I’m not dumb, Ti,” Iris said. “But if you don’t use it, the hole closes back up.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I yelled at Iris.
Her eyes went wide and she stepped back.
A few people around us started looking.
Gi touched my arm. “Whoa. Are you okay?”
“No,” I said. “Last night… this place…”
“Eating you alive,” Iris said. “That happens when you get too involved.”
“Iris, just shut up for a second,” Gi said.
“Let me ask you something,” I said. “What do you know about Claire?”
“Claire?” Gi asked. “Not much. You probably know more. You live with her. And you’ve known her since you were little. Right?”
“Not much about her from when I was little,” I said. “Other than her kicking us out. Which was my mother’s fault. I’m just talking right now. Who she is. What she does.”
“Everyone knows what Claire does,” Iris said.
“Yeah,” I said. “Right.”
“Did something happen?” Gi asked.
“I don’t know. I’m freaking myself out. Claire got into an accident last night. That’s why my night with Barr ended when it did. Which was a good thing.”
“You were totally going to screw him,” Iris said.
“I don’t know,” I said.
“Wow,” Gi said. “That would have made today really interesting.”
“It didn’t happen,” I growled.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Gi said, rubbing my arm. “I mean, I know what you’re trying to do here, Ti. What you want the Rulz to feel. Make sure you protect yourself too though.”
“I am,” I said. “I just didn’t expect to see Claire like that. Maybe this sounds greedy but if something goes wrong with Claire, I’m gone.”
“Aw, you don’t want to leave us,” Iris said. “You love us.”
She put her arms around me from behind and hugged me.
I gritted my teeth.
Gi started to smile.
“We love you so much, Ti-bug,” Iris said.
She started kissing my hair, hugging me tighter.
“Our little Ti-bug almost lost her cherry,” Iris teased.
I started to laugh. “Can I hurt her?” I asked Gi.
“Be my guest,” Gi said.
