“Oh, come on, Ti-bug, don’t be like that,” Iris said.

  Iris finally let me go and I turned to put my back against the locker.

  “Maybe you’re right,” I said. “Maybe I secretly love it here. But I know I don’t belong here. That I’m only here as a favor to my mother. So I never know when my last day will be.”

  “That’s deep,” Gi said.

  “Kind of what Barr could have been,” Iris said. “Deep.”

  I looked at Iris. “Why don’t you just go and be with him then?”

  “Maybe I already have,” Iris said.

  “What?” I asked, jumping from the locker.

  “She’s messing around,” Gi said.

  “Am I though?” Iris asked.

  The same sense of jealousy hit me as it did in Barr’s car when he told me about Richy’s girlfriend. Which meant what? That I was actually starting to like Barr? That I had real feelings for him?

  No way, Ti. No way in hell…

  “Ignore her,” Gi said. “She’ll say anything to get you pissed off.”

  “Looks like it doesn’t take much,” Iris said. “My little Ti-bug.”

  “Watch yourself, my little I-don’t-know-when-to-shut-my-fucking-mouth-so-I-got-my-jaw-wired-shut-for-free…”

  Iris grinned. “Nice.”

  “You two are too much,” Gi said.

  “No,” Iris said. “What’s too much is the way a certain someone is staring Ti down right now. Don’t turn around too fast, you might get dizzy.”

  I tried to do the casual turn your head thing to look, but whatever.

  The Rulz were waiting for me.

  “See you later,” I said to Gi and Iris.

  “Want me to come with you?” Gi offered.

  “Why? So you could pee yourself when they talk to you?” I asked.

  “Cold,” Gi whispered.

  “And that ain’t pee either,” Iris said.

  “Ew, no way,” Gi said to Iris. “I’m not you.”

  I had to walk away from them. I had no idea if Iris was just messing with me or if she really had messed around with Barr or maybe even all three.

  My eyes went right to Barr.

  That honey gold stare that almost won me over last night.

  Fucking jerk.

  “How was your night, sugar?” Pres asked.

  “Not bad,” I said. “Nothing quite like watching Barr getting his ass kicked.”

  “I didn’t get my ass kicked,” Barr said. “Just a minor scuffle.”

  “Because you slept with someone’s girlfriend,” I blurted out.

  They all laughed.

  “Well, damn,” Kip said, “I think we’re all guilty as charged there.”

  Anger attacked my gut.

  I felt sick.

  I missed home. My real home. Not my fake home.

  Dammit… I was starting to miss Mom.

  It was almost easier to live with her drug problem than live with the Rulz.

  “Glad you made it here safe, love,” Barr said.

  “Why wouldn’t I make it here safe?” I asked.

  “Figured you would have been up all night dreaming about what could have been,” he said.

  “Or maybe celebrating an avoided mistake,” I said.

  Barr laughed.

  It was like nothing could get to him.

  For a second I thought about telling Pres and Kip about Barr’s secret place to play piano. But would that really matter?

  No.

  Not to them.

  “Maybe soon we can finish what we started,” Barr said. “Take you out for another night.”

  “I’ll check my schedule,” I said.

  “You better get to class, sugar,” Pres said. “Hate to see you late and in trouble.”

  “Yeah, right,” I said.

  “No, I mean it,” Pres said. “Staying out late with Barr. Getting too close to fights. Sipping a little too much on the beach. Getting extra attitude with us today. You’re changing right before our eyes, Tinsley Ditkiss.”

  “Is that a problem?” I asked.

  Pres touched my chin. “Never. Change is good. But what doesn’t change is what I want.”

  Pres pushed from the wall and walked away.

  Barr followed him, looking at me, winking with that cocky grin that made me angry in my mind and turned me on somewhere else.

  When Kip walked by, he leaned down toward me.

  His bright blue eyes and bad boy smile made me feel safe and excited. Which wasn’t the truth at all.

  “My turn, girl,” he whispered.

  “What?”

  Kip brushed his lips to my cheek and laughed.

  He walked away, casually looking back a few times.

  His turn?

  For what?

  To try and close the deal with me?

  I laughed as the hallway emptied for good.

  Then I started to jog to get to class on time.

  They could keep pushing at me all they wanted.

  But each time they spoke I got a little more truth.

  And soon enough, my truth would out do anything they had to offer.

  eleven

  bleachers

  super important

  don’t tell anyone else

  please

  i trust you with this

  i

  That was the note left in my locker after class one day.

  I…?

  Then it hit me.

  Iris.

  Which was weird. Iris and I had never had a private conversation. Or even a really serious conversation. Sure there were times when things teetered on being serious or whatever, but it wasn’t like we were trading off our deepest and darkest fears.

  We weren’t best friends. I wasn’t even sure if we were regular friends.

  She was close with Gi and I was a friend of Gi’s.

  I looked around the hallway after I read the letter.

  Maybe something was going on with Gi and Iris didn’t know what to do. Or maybe there really was something important with Iris and she felt safe with me? Maybe because I was the new girl or the temporary girl or whatever my title actually was in the social world of BFH.

  “Another present?”

  I shut my locker and tucked the note into my pocket.

  “Hey, Beth,” I said. “No presents today.”

  “No thongs or dirty toys?” she asked.

  “Hardly,” I said. “What’s up with you?”

  “Nothing. What are you doing after class today?”

  “I, uh, I don’t know,” I said. “I mean, I’m meeting up with someone.”

  “Someone? Does this someone have a name?”

  “Not what you think,” I said. “But, hey, I know it’s not my business, but what is the deal with you and Gi and Iris?”

  Beth’s face dropped. “Look, Ti, I would never put you in position to choose your friends. That’s not me. But I’ll never be friends with those two ever again.”

  Ever again?

  “I was just…”

  “No offense, but you were right when you said it’s not your business. Because it isn’t.”

  “Okay,” I said. “Sorry I asked. I will never bring it up again.”

  “Yes, you will,” Beth said. “I don’t blame you. Someday you’ll get the story. And then I’ll tell you the truth.”

  She winked and turned on her heels and took off.

  I gave a quick wave and my eyes went right for the door.

  I touched my pocket, feeling the note.

  Iris wants to talk to me?

  It was way too weird to not go to the bleachers and figure out what this was.

  Even if she was playing some stupid joke on me just to be a bigger bitch than she already was. Because if that was the case, I could do a little note slipping of my own into her locker.

  I walked alone to the bleachers, keeping my eyes out for Gi.

  The note said nothing about Gi so I didn’t want to run into her and screw up whatever Iris wanted.

  Which made me wonder if it was Gi’s birthday soon or something.

  And Iris wanted to plan a party.

  All that did though was make my stomach flip and my heart hurt.

  I didn’t know their birthdays. They didn’t know mine.

  But I knew Ruby’s.

  September 17th.

  I knew Amelia’s.

  March 3rd.

  And I even remembered Devin’s (of course)… December 27th.

  Those were locked in my memory probably forever.

  Yet my new best friends… I had no clue when their birthdays were.

  I climbed the bleachers feeling sad and alone.

  I sat about halfway up and looked around at the perfectly manicured football field. There were two guys throwing a ball in the one end zone. I didn’t recognize them. I hadn’t heard much from the fallout over the HCH vs BFH football game turned fight. In fact, things were really quiet about HCH lately. I wasn’t sure if that was normal or not.

  I chewed on my lip until it hurt.

  I chewed on my fingernails but that was boring.

  I scrolled through my phone.

  I felt like texting Iris just to see where she was.

  As my thumb moved over her name, I heard a thud and looked down.

  I stood up.

  I touched the note in my pocket.

  “Hey, you showed up…”

  I swallowed hard.

  It wasn’t Iris who wanted me to meet her at the bleachers.

  * * *

  I pulled the note out of my pocket as Kip walked up the bleachers toward me.

  My heart raced and sank at the same time. That made my stomach tingle. Not butterflies. Not fear. Not worry. But a feeling.

  It was the way Kip always looked at me.

  The bright color of his blue eyes and the way he always casually smirked at me. Like he knew something about me. Or he was just that confident about me and him together. Like he wasn’t worried for a second about Pres or Barr.

  That made him hotter.

  It also helped that he wore sleeveless shirts and his arms were tanned and toned. Everything about him screamed surfer boy and maybe that was wrong just to assume something about Kip like that considering I had never seen him surf. In fact the only time I saw him in the ocean was the night of their party and when he carried me into the water.

  “What is this?” I asked, waving the note. “I thought something was wrong. I thought it was serious.”

  “Whoa, calm down, girl,” Kip said. “It is serious. And there is something wrong.”

  “You really wrote this?”

  “Typed it up, yes,” Kip said.

  “What is the i for then?” I asked.

  Kip was one row down from me. He was eye level with me.

  Damn his eyes.

  Damn his smile.

  The world of Pres and Barr was dark and scary.

  Kip’s was bright and freeing.

  That made him worse because I knew Kip had a dark side too. I had seen him in the ditch. I had seen what he was capable of doing.

  Which meant more than with the others I couldn’t fall for the look of the pretty boy surfer.

  “Oh, that,” Kip said. “The i was for… I. As in me. Me being Kip.”

  “What?” I yelled.

  “Or… I fucked up,” Kip said. “Got a pen?”

  I stupidly dug through my bag for a pen.

  Kip took the pen and the note and plopped down on the bleachers.

  He put a K in front of the i and then a p after it.

  “There,” he said. “It’s fixed now.”

  He looked up at me with that smirk.

  I ripped the note out of his hand. Now the note said it was from Kip.

  “So funny,” I said. “You set me up. You tricked me to be here.”

  “And here you are, girl,” he said. “Here I am too.”

  “Like fate, huh?”

  “I love fate,” Kip said. He stood back up and stepped up to my level, now taller than me. “I fucking love fate.”

  “So what’s so super important you needed me here?” I asked. “Or what’s so serious? What’s wrong with you?”

  Kip started to walk up the bleachers. “Come for a walk.”

  I turned my head and saw how tall the bleachers went.

  Fun fact - I hated heights.

  And that meant knee shaking, sweating, thinking the worst thoughts ever kind of fear. Now, on a set of bleachers all I could picture was the bleachers falling. Some kind of freak accident, collapsing to the ground in a wreck of twisted, deadly metal. Dying that kind of death at BFH.

  Kip paused and looked back at me. “I’ll just start talking. Whether you’re here or not.”

  I slowly shook my head.

  Jerk off. Moron.

  I climbed the bleachers, slowly, but at least I was doing it.

  Kip went right to the top.

  Of course he did.

  He turned and leaned against the railing.

  It made my body tingle with panic for him.

  Now, these weren’t normal bleachers. This place - the field and bleachers - could probably withstand a hurricane, tornado, earthquake, or whatever else Mother Nature could muster up and throw at it.

  Even still, these reminded me of cheap bleachers that made that echoing ping sound when you walked on them.

  I climbed to one level lower than Kip and folded my arms.

  “Now what?” I asked. “You going to jump.”

  “If it gets me alone with you, I would.”

  “What?”

  “You and me, girl. I can’t have Barr walking around bragging about taking you out. It’s driving me crazy.”

  “Jealous?” I asked.

  Kip stepped down and put his fingertips to my arms like he had done before. My skin tightened and broke out in goosebumps.

  He lowered his mouth toward mine but stopped with a few inches to spare.

  “One thousand percent fucking jealous, girl,” Kip whispered.

  He brushed his lips to mine and then slowly sat down. Still reaching for my arms, fingertips moving up and down.

  My lips ached for more.

  My mind raced as fast as my heart.

  I’m this girl now? Freely kissing them whenever I want? Making out with Barr in his car. Kissing Kip on the bleachers. Wonder what I’ll end up doing with Pres then…

  Kip moved his fingers to my hands and curled his fingers around mine and pulled me toward him.

  It was in such a hot and commanding position.

  Holding hands.

  Me towering over him.

  His legs open.

  Knowing that in one quick move I could be straddling him right there on the bleachers.

  I was on fire.

  Maybe worse than with Barr.

  Which made me want to feel wrong about it but I didn’t.

  Nothing really made me feel wrong anymore.

  Not since coming to BFH. Not since getting involved with the Rulz.

  Kip slid his hands from mine and put his elbows on the seats above him and leaned back.

  “Why don’t you sit somewhere, girl?” he asked. “So we can chat.”

  He wanted me to do what was going through my head.

  Instead, I sat down right where I was.

  Keeping my legs closed super tight, my elbows on my knees, casually trying to bite my bottom lip because everything inside me was going crazy.

  “I don’t really give a shit about you and Barr hanging,” Kip said. “There’s no beef there with us. Just know that. No jealousy within our group. We don’t roll like that.”

  “Okay,” I said.

  “But that still doesn’t take away the fact of what I want.”

  “Which is what?”

  Kip pushed from the bleachers and leaned toward me. He put his hands to my legs.

  “You, girl. I want you.”

  “Want… me…?”

  “Have something to show you,” he said.

  “Oh?”

  “See, I could lie to you right now. I could tell you something sweet. Like what you think you know about me… about us… that you’re wrong. That it’s not what you see or what you think. That it’s all different. Okay?”

  I nodded. “Okay… but that’s a lie.”

  “Exactly. Because what you see is the truth. The fucking truth, girl.”

  “And that doesn’t scare me as much as you think it does,” I said.

  Kip booped his pointer finger on my nose. “Now look who’s the one lying.”

  I pulled back. “I’m not lying.”

  “Right. Convince yourself of that. So here’s the deal. I want to show you something. Take you somewhere. Just you and me, girl.”

  “So you want to take me out on a date too?”

  “Not a date,” Kip said. “I don’t date.”

  “You don’t date?” I asked, laughing. “Then what do you do?”

  Kip leaned closer to me again. “I like to surf and I like to fuck.”

  Before I could come up with anything that resembled a response to that, Kip kissed me.

  His lips tasted so fucking good.

  I shut my eyes and begged my heart to tell my mind and my body to pull away.

  But I didn’t pull away.

  I grabbed Kip’s shirt – wanting more.

  His hands touched my sides, his thumbs pressing hard just under my breasts, over my shirt. My back was so straight and stiff that it started to hurt. And the sound of our lips and tongues enjoying themselves was almost too much for me to handle. I felt ready to explode. Or pass out.

  Now there would be an embarrassing story to spread around BFH.

  The dirty, poor girl makes out with Kip and passes out.

  I kissed Kip so aggressively. In a way I had never kissed someone before.

  I had no idea what was going through my mind.

  His hands moved up over my chest and I broke the kiss, sighing, putting my head back. His hands kept going though, up to my neck. He was strong and gentle at the same time. His thumbs touched my bottom lip and he forced me to look at him.

  There was something about the look in his eyes.

  It was…

  It was like he was in love with me.

  The thought hit me hard and made me lose my breath for a second.

  There was no way Kip loved me. He probably didn’t even really like me. I was a goal to him. That was it. Just like with Barr. And just like with Pres.

 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21