A Rose and a Promise, page 18
As he passed through the gate, he immediately noticed that some of the buildings were peppered with bullet holes. Sitting bloody ducks, Paddy thought ruefully. If I do find Micky it’ll probably be in the obituaries. He climbed down from the cab of his lorry and entered the office. As the Waaf looked up from her work, he jerked his head in the direction of the building marked by flak. ‘I see you’ve been having fun and games.’
The Waaf pulled a grim face. ‘We have that; we also lost a few of our boys.’
He nodded thoughtfully. ‘No one under the name of Micky Finnegan or Kieran O’Connell, I hope?’
She shook her head. ‘Are they friends of yours?’
He signed his name in the book. ‘You could say that. We’ve lost contact along the way.’
‘Part of the beauty of being in the RAF is bumping into people you’d lost contact with.’ She smiled at the handsome Irishman. ‘Since being in the services I’ve met school pals that I hadn’t seen in years! I can keep an eye out for them if you like.’ Hesitating, she took a pencil and began to write. ‘Micky Finnegan and …’
‘Kieran O’Connell.’
‘That’s right.’ She folded the paper and tucked it into her book. ‘Shall I tell them you’re looking for them?’
He grinned delightfully. ‘Nah, I’d rather surprise them.’
Failing to notice the wicked glint in his eye, she said ‘That’s nice’ before telling him how to find his hut. ‘Someone’ll come along and tell you what’s what in a bit, and if you need anything else just let me know. I’m Melanie by the way.’
He winked at her. ‘Thank you, Melanie. It’s a rarity to meet such a helpful soul, and a beautiful one at that, might I add.’
A warm blush spreading along her neckline, she smiled coyly. In Melanie’s opinion, women would be lining up to help the handsome Irishman. ‘My pleasure.’
Stepping outside, Paddy hefted his kitbag over his shoulder before making his way towards the hut. As he walked, the aircrew from one of the planes strode past, deep in conversation. Stuck up, pompous gits, thought Paddy, always thinking they’re better than the rest of us. I used to earn ten times what they’re on, yet there they are all high and mighty, whilst riskin’ their necks for pennies. He gave a short snort of contempt. And they reckon they’re better than me!
He entered the hut and asked the nearest man which beds were free before selecting one. Paddy knew that the beds were only vacant because someone had lost his life. He fervently hoped he wouldn’t be next in line.
Aled waited with bated breath for Cadi to pick up the phone. He had no idea why he was so nervous – it wasn’t as though he was doing anything wrong, especially as it was her suggestion that he telephone her back in a couple of weeks, which was precisely what he was doing.
Hearing her voice come down the line, the frown disappeared from his forehead. ‘Cadi? It’s me, Aled. I thought I’d give you a quick ring to see how you’re doing now.’
Cadi stood in stunned silence. She’d totally forgotten she’d told him to call back. ‘I’m still doing well. You?’
‘All the better for hearing your voice, but I’d feel better still if I could see you for myself, which is why Marnie and I thought it might be nice for us all to get together in Lincoln this Christmas. What do you say?’
Cadi had been intending to work over Christmas, but maybe this would be the ideal opportunity to have a break and stop being so hard on herself. ‘I’m game if you two are, but are you sure you don’t mind? I wouldn’t want to intrude.’
‘Not at all!’ said Aled. He had been expecting her to turn him down, so hearing her accept his offer so freely had taken him by surprise. Swept up in the moment, he found himself asking her out for lunch. ‘Why don’t I take you out for a meal this weekend? If you’re free, that is.’ Hearing the silence that came down the line, he cursed himself for being so pushy. He was about to politely retract his offer when Cadi accepted. He blew a euphoric sigh of relief. ‘Marvellous! Have you any idea where you’d like to go?’
Cadi was nibbling the inside of her bottom lip. Was she doing the right thing? Part of the reason why she wanted to see Aled again was because she missed male company. True, she was surrounded by men in the RAF, but they were men who were after relationships, whereas Aled was already spoken for, and she could enjoy his companionship without fear of repercussions. ‘Izzy likes the Wheatsheaf Inn in Waddington.’
‘Then the Wheatsheaf it is! And now that we’ve got that settled, how are things in general?’
‘It’s getting easier,’ admitted Cadi. ‘I’ve got a new desk job, so I’m not rushing round like a headless chicken any more. I found it incredibly hard to sit still at first, but I’m getting used to it, and I’m using the time to process what happened, which is something I’d been trying to avoid. Only I know now that you need to do that in order to come to terms with the past.’
‘Sounds like you’ve got a hold on things,’ said Aled, pleased to hear that she really did seem to be doing as well as she claimed.
‘I’m certainly getting there, thanks to Poppy and Izzy,’ Cadi told him. ‘They’ve been marvellous.’
‘Good friends are worth their weight in gold,’ Aled agreed. He glanced at his wristwatch. ‘Looks like our time’s nearly up, so shall we say I’ll see you at eleven o’clock sharp, outside the gate to your base?’
‘I shall see you there.’ She hesitated. ‘Thanks for suggesting this Aled. It’ll be good to have time out from work.’
‘My pleasure.’
They said their goodbyes and Cadi headed back to Poppy and Izzy, who were halfway through their dinner. Settling back into her seat, she told them about her phone call whilst she tucked into a plate of pie and mash.
‘I’m glad you said yes,’ mused Poppy, ‘because he’s always cared about you, and you him.
‘I know, and I felt mean turning him down last time, but I didn’t want him to see me looking …’ she paused, ‘unwell.’
‘Like a stick insect,’ said Poppy. ‘But you don’t look like one any more – thank God.’
Cadi smiled. Hearing her friend say that was music to her ears. ‘Do you really think I look better?’
‘Much,’ agreed Izzy.
‘Talking about Jez is going to be difficult,’ said Cadi slowly, ‘but it’s inevitable that we will; it’s only natural. I wonder if he feels the same.’
‘Probably. Men find it a lot harder to talk about these things than women,’ said Poppy.
‘Very true,’ agreed Izzy. ‘How do you feel about meeting him after all this time?’
‘I’m looking forward to seeing someone who was close to Jez, but I’d hate people to get the wrong idea, thinking that I’d start courting so soon after his passing.’
Poppy pulled a stern face. ‘If you hear of anyone spreading gossip, just you point them my way, and I’ll soon put them straight. There’s nothing wrong with spending time with a close friend, be they male or female, and I honestly think it will do you both the world of good to get together and talk.’
‘Thanks, Poppy.’
‘Jez wanted you to be happy,’ said Izzy, ‘and if spending time with an old pal makes you happy, then he’d be delighted.’
Cadi smiled gratefully at her friends. ‘Thanks, girls. Just having your support these past few months has helped me immensely. I don’t know what I’d have done without you.’
‘We’re only glad to see you smile again,’ said Poppy.
‘I still have more bad days than good, but it’s better than having all bad days,’ admitted Cadi. She scraped up the last of the mashed potato on to her fork. She was looking forward to seeing Aled, and if anyone should say anything, she’d tell them to mind their own business before sending them Poppy’s way.
Aled was on his way to meet Cadi when he had to stop for a lorry which was blocking the road. Stepping out of his car, he approached the driver, who was leaning against the cab whilst enjoying a cigarette.
‘You can’t just leave that there whilst you have a fag break,’ said Aled, indicating the lorry with a wave of his hand. ‘I’ve got places I need to be.’
The driver shrugged in a nonchalant manner. ‘It’s knackered, so it ain’t going nowhere, and neither are you.’
Aled stared at him in disbelief. ‘You can’t just leave it there.’
‘I know that,’ snapped the driver, ‘but until the mechanic comes up with the right part there’s not a lot I can do about it – and before you start, we can’t just tow it out of the way because the towin’ ring’s busted off.’
Aled glanced around at the small crowd of frustrated – or just nosy – passers-by which had gathered. If he were to wait for the mechanic, he could be there for hours. After a brief headcount, he instructed the surly driver to get back into his cab.
The driver stared at him before laughing scornfully. ‘What you goin’ to do? Push me out of the way?’
Aled signalled to those standing closest by. ‘Who’s with me?’ Placing his hands on the bonnet, he waited whilst several others joined him, all chattering excitedly about the challenge which lay ahead.
When everybody was ready, Aled braced himself. ‘On the count of three. One, two, three …’
At first it seemed that the lorry was going nowhere, but after a moment or two the wheels slowly turned, and as they gathered momentum the vehicle became easier to push. Once it was out of the way, Aled signalled for everyone to stop. ‘That’ll do!’ He thanked them for their combined efforts and jumped back into his car, leaving the driver of the lorry to mumble something about patience being a virtue.
As he drove down the narrow country lanes, Aled debated what he would say to Cadi when he arrived at Fiskerton. He was keen not to upset her, or appear insensitive, but at the same time he knew that it was important to talk about these things, after experiencing the loss of the Ulysses’ mid-gunner. The crew had gone from boasting that they were the luckiest in their squadron to having to face up to a bitter dose of reality. Not knowing how to deal with their tragedy, they had avoided talking about their loss, and when Tom had come along as their new mid-gunner they had found it difficult to speak to him too. But you can’t be part of a crew if you don’t communicate, so they had no option but to address the subject of that fateful night, and it was only when they did so that things began to get easier.
You should’ve insisted on seeing her sooner, Aled told himself; at least that way you’d have known that you’d done everything you could. He conjured up an image of his parents, as well as Cadi’s, all eyeing him doubtfully. They all knew he’d been keen on Cadi; would they approve of this rendezvous? His jaw tightened. Whether they approved or not shouldn’t concern him. Cadi was all that mattered, and if she was happy to meet him, then it was nothing to do with anyone else.
Chapter Seven
Cadi twisted her wedding ring round her finger as she waited for Aled to arrive. In some respects she couldn’t wait to see him, but in others she feared the very sight of him would take her straight back to the day of the attack – and she never wanted to go back there.
Feeling her tummy flutter, she held a hand to her stomach to calm her nerves. Ever since gaining her appetite back, she’d suffered from one stomach complaint or another. Poppy was sure it was the amount of liver Cadi was getting through, but Izzy insisted that Cadi still needed to build up her strength after hardly eating for such a long period of time.
Seeing the car come into view, she stepped forward to greet Aled as he drew up alongside her. Glancing around to see if anyone was watching, she opened the passenger door and got in.
Aled smiled. ‘Someone’s eager for the off.’
‘I’ve been telling myself repeatedly that there’s nothing wrong with meeting an old friend, but in truth I still worry what people might think or say. Not because they’d be right,’ she added hastily, ‘but because I don’t want anyone questioning my love or my loyalty to Jez.’
He checked over his shoulder before pulling away from the kerb. ‘I did wonder what your parents and mine might think,’ he said truthfully, ‘but I wouldn’t worry about what folk on base will say. I think most of them know better than to gossip when someone’s lost a loved one – they leave talk like that to the fishwives.’
She arched her brow. ‘You worried about our parents?’
He shrugged. ‘I suppose it comes from living in a small community. You know what it’s like being in a village.’
She eyed him thoughtfully. ‘I worried that seeing you might bring the memories flooding back. Not that they ever went away, but you know what I mean.’
He glanced across at her before turning his attention back to the road ahead. ‘I do indeed, but however painful it is, it will do us both good to talk. We went through this huge, life-changing moment, but never talked about it.’ He hesitated before adding, ‘I should’ve insisted on seeing you sooner. I’m not saying I’d have been the answer to all your problems, but I might’ve been able to do something to help, even if it was just being a shoulder to cry on.’
She smiled softly. ‘I knew you’d be there like a shot if I asked, but I didn’t want you worrying about me when you’re surrounded by the Luftwaffe.’
‘But I did worry about you, and I suppose I always will.’ He glanced across at her. ‘You said you’d been unwell, and I can see you’ve lost weight.’
‘I was, but that’s all in the past. I’m eating properly now, and I’m pleased to say it’s beginning to show.’
He gave a surprised cough. ‘You mean you were thinner?’
She grimaced. ‘Quite a bit. I completely lost my appetite after Jez, and the nightmares didn’t exactly help matters. I used to wake up every morning with my stomach in knots.’
‘But you’re better now?’ Aled was eager for her reassurance.
She nodded. ‘Lots.’ Wishing to move on to a more cheerful topic of conversation, she smiled brightly at him. ‘How’s Marnie? Is she still enjoying the Devonshire sea air? I heard she was quite excited about going there.’
Aled pulled into the car park of the Wheatsheaf Inn. ‘She certainly likes being by the sea. Not that she gets much time to enjoy it, being rushed off her feet as she always is.’
Cadi waited for Aled to open her door before stepping out. ‘I like being by the sea. It’s one of the things I miss about Liverpool – you’re only a tram ride away from Seaforth Sands.’
‘Jez said summat about you wanting to run a pub when all this was over. Have you given any thought as to what you want to do now he’s no longer here?’
She walked through the door which Aled was holding open for her. ‘Sort of. Maria wanted me to leave the WAAF and work for her in the pub, but I don’t think I could. Too many memories. As for running a pub? Not on my own, that’s for certain.’
Aled approached the barman. ‘A pint of mild for me, and …’ He turned expectantly to Cadi.
‘A lemonade for me, please.’
Nodding, the barman began pouring the drinks.
‘I might open a tea room,’ said Cadi, ‘because that had been my original plan.’
‘In Liverpool?’
‘I suppose so. There’s not really much call for a tea room in Rhos.’
He smiled. ‘I guess not.’ Paying the barman for their drinks, he followed Cadi over to a table. ‘Have you talked to anyone about what happened?’
She took a small sip of her drink before answering. ‘Only about my feelings, but not anything else; you?’
He shook his head. ‘Marnie knows I was with you when you found him, but that’s all.’ He watched Cadi as she turned her wedding ring round on her finger. ‘I think that talking about things helps ease the pain, but if you’d rather not …’
She looked up. ‘What we went through was terrible, and no one should have to find their husband – or their friend – the way we did. I can’t talk about it with the girls, because I don’t want to upset them any more than they already are. I guess I felt the same about you. Bad enough living it without reliving it.’
‘But at the same time, it has to be acknowledged,’ said Aled, wiping the froth from his top lip.
‘And you can’t do that unless you talk about it,’ agreed Cadi. She folded her arms on the table top. ‘I keep seeing the bullet holes which led me to him.’
Aled grimaced. ‘I keep seeing you on the ground beside him …’ He hung his head. ‘I’d do anything to bring him back.’
Reaching across the table, she closed her hand over his. ‘I know you would, and if love could’ve kept him alive he’d have lived for ever, but we can’t keep treading the same path of if onlys and what ifs because …’ she indicated her gaunt features, ‘this is the result.’
He smiled dubiously. ‘Easier said than done, though.’
‘Most definitely, but do you really think Jez would like to see either of us this way?’
‘No.’
She looked towards the bar. ‘Shall we take a look at the menu?’
Getting up from his seat, Aled fetched a couple of menus, which they perused in silence before Aled snapped his shut. ‘I fancy the pie and chips; you?’
Cadi wrinkled her nose. ‘The pastry’ll give me terrible heartburn, so I’ll have sausage and mash, please.’
He got to his feet again and went to the bar to place their order.
