Free Fall at Angel Creek, page 20
“I have to go see Naomi’s family in Chicago and explain what happened.”
“Would you like me to go with you?” River asked.
“That’s very sweet, but I need to do this myself. There’s so much I don’t know about Naomi’s life, but I desperately want to. I hope her husband, Bill, can fill in the gaps for me. Mostly, I want her daughters to know they have an aunt who cares about them.”
River squeezed her hand.
Back at the hotel, the guys were going out to dinner, but Dee wasn’t in the mood to be around them. She only wanted River.
“What will you do while I’m in Chicago?”
“I need to stay here for a few days to write my final report and make sure Ronald Moore has the correct cause factors in his NTSB report.”
“Will there be any consequences for that Relax Air CEO? Will anyone go to jail over this?”
River sat down next to Dee on the bed. “He probably won’t see any jail time, but his life is ruined. I recorded every word he said to me with my phone, right before he had his goon try to kill me. I also have a journalist friend who writes for the AP news service, and she’ll be very interested in what he said. He’ll never work in the airline business again. As for the company, Relax Air will probably go bankrupt after the lawsuits, all their employees will lose their jobs, and their planes will be resold. It’s amazing how much damage one bad man can cause to so many people.”
Even though Dee now understood how Naomi had died, the knowledge didn’t give her any solace, and it certainly didn’t give her any closure. Maybe she and Naomi’s family could help each other get through this. She had to walk through her grief before she could go on with her life and before she could ever consider a future with River. The sooner she dealt with her loss, the sooner she could come back to River. She called Bill.
“Hi. Is this Bill? I’m Dee, Naomi’s sister. I was hoping to come and see you in Chicago, if that’s all right. Tomorrow? Yes. I can get a flight tomorrow and probably get to Chicago by late afternoon. You will? Thanks. I guess I’ll see you then. Bye.”
“What’d he say?”
Dee had a lump in her throat. “He’s really nice. I thought he’d be upset with me for not calling sooner. He’s picking me up at the airport and asked me to stay at their house with them. He said his girls, Brin and Taylor, want to meet me. This is going to be so hard, River.”
“It will be, but you’ll get through it, and maybe you can help Naomi’s kids too. You’ve learned how to be resilient, Dee, and you can be there for them.”
“How can I possibly help Brin and Taylor when I don’t even know them, and I can barely keep it together myself?”
“Because you all love the same woman. When I was thirteen, my friend Betty told me something that really helped me. She said, ‘Love never dies. Your mother will always be with you because she lives in every cell of your body, in your very DNA.’ This thought gave me a great deal of comfort when I missed her, and it still does. I feel my mom’s presence fairly often, like out at Angel Creek, because she loved the water. That’s why she named me River. You and Naomi share the same blood, and she still lives in you, and in her daughters. That’s how you can help them, and yourself, get through this.”
She put her face in her hands, and River put her arms around her. They would hold each other through the dark night.
* * *
Day 10
Watching Dee suffer broke River’s heart and brought back memories of her mother’s death. Even learning the cause of the DC-10 crash she and her mother were in hadn’t eased the pain of her loss. She was glad Dee had family to go to. It was also imperative that she give the pink suitcase with Naomi’s letters to Dee before she left. She was worried about not giving them to her earlier and had to find a way to make her understand.
“I’d like to take you somewhere before you go to Portland.”
“Sure. That’d be nice,” Dee said.
River had Dee follow in her own car, since she’d be leaving for the airport after their excursion. She led her to the Madras airport.
“This place has fabulous pancakes.”
Sharing breakfast, they looked through the cafe windows and watched the small planes take off and land. River was concerned about Dee leaving, especially since she didn’t know when she’d see her again. The pending separation was weighing on her.
“Love the pancakes,” Dee said.
“Glad you like it. We might as well enjoy life while we can.”
“What do you mean?” Dee seemed confused.
“I mean life is fickle, and it can change in an instant. So we should enjoy it now, because we can’t count on it in the future.”
Dee looked stunned. “You don’t believe in the future?”
“I have a hard time believing things will work out, because, in my experience, they rarely do.”
“Is that because you lost your mom?”
River was quiet. “Yes. But I also lost my flying, and other people I’ve loved, so I don’t plan for the future. Maybe it’s because of what I’ve seen and the work I do.”
“Does this mean you don’t believe in a future for us?”
“No. Not at all. That’s what’s changed for me, Dee. I do believe in us. It’s the first time I’ve felt hopeful in a really long time.”
“I’m glad to hear that, because I’m planning to come back to you after I deal with my family.”
“I’m so happy to hear that. But now I have a surprise for you. Come on.”
They left the restaurant, and Dee followed her out to Angel Creek. After they parked, she took Dee by the hand and led her to the place on the creek with the rock angel.
“This is such a beautiful, special spot. I love it here. Thanks for bringing me here before I have to leave,” Dee said.
“Sit on this rock and close your eyes, and I’ll be right back.”
“Have I ever told you cops hate surprises?”
River ran back to her car and got the pink suitcase from the trunk. She carried it over to Dee and placed it at her feet. “Open your eyes.”
Dee looked at the suitcase, and a puzzled look crossed her face. “What is this? It kind of looks like a funny old bag my mother…” Her expression changed when she recognized it.
“I found it, Dee, over there by the cargo container. Open it.”
She flipped open the old latches, raised the lid, and stared at the letters. Then she untied the twine and picked up the first letter. Speechless at first, she turned to River. “I gave these Minnie Mouse stickers to Naomi. She was crazy about anything with Minnie on it.” Dee pulled out the yellowed paper and read Naomi’s first letter to her. She held the letter to her heart, bent over, and rocked back and forth.
With tears in her eyes, she stood up and pulled River into her arms. “I can’t believe you found these. You have no idea what this means to me. You just answered the first prayer I’ve said in sixteen years. I love you so much.”
River was so relieved. Her cheek was wet from Dee’s happy tears. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t give it to you before today.”
“Did the evidence guys just release it?”
“Well, no, not exactly. Because they didn’t have it. I did.”
Dee looked surprised. “So you didn’t turn it in, and you saved it for me? When did you find this, River?”
This was the question she’d been dreading. “A few days ago.”
Dee was confused. “A few days ago? How many?”
“It was when I came across the cargo container here, five days ago.”
Dee’s brow furrowed. “Five days? You found this five days ago and didn’t say anything to me about it. Please explain.”
She took a deep breath. “At first, I didn’t know what it was until I opened it.”
Dee put her hand up to stop River. “Wait. Did you open Naomi’s letter to me and read it? I assumed the evidence guys opened it. You knew those were letters from Naomi to me. Why would you not tell me about these for five days? I don’t get it, River.” Her last words were clipped.
“Well, I couldn’t let you see the letters right away because the investigation wasn’t complete, and you were involved with it. Also I didn’t know you like I do now. I thought seeing these would be too much for you. I was afraid it would cause you to have another PTSD attack. I didn’t want you to be in anymore pain.”
Dee was quiet, and then she took a step back from River, still holding the precious letters. “You’ve made quite a few assumptions about me. You didn’t think I could handle letters from my sister? Is that the only reason you kept these from me?” Dee didn’t blink, waiting for her answer .
The words stuck in River’s throat. “Of course I still needed your help with the investigation, and I was trying to maintain my professional integrity. I wanted to tell you, but I was worried how you’d take it. I’m sorry I didn’t give these to you sooner. I apologize, and I hope you can forgive me.”
Dee looked like she was made of stone, her muscles trembling, barely containing herself.
“I trusted you, River. After everything I confided to you about my past, you know what Naomi means to me. You knew how important they were to me, and yet you chose to withhold them from me for five days. Who are you to decide what I can and cannot handle? You made a decision you didn’t have the right to make. The most important thing in the world to me is honesty, and you just stabbed me in the heart.”
“Dee, you don’t understand. I was trying to protect you.”
“I don’t need you to protect me. I can take care of myself. You’re not the woman I thought you were. I hope your professional integrity keeps you warm tonight, because I certainly won’t. Don’t contact me.”
She picked up the small pink suitcase, turned her back, and left. River’s heart was breaking. Her philosophy of never believing in the future was confirmed once again as she watched her hope vanish into a cloud of dust.
Chapter Twenty-seven
Dee drove as fast as she could, on the verge of losing control. She screamed in the car from rage and from hurt, but worst of all was knowing that River had betrayed her. She’d been a fool to let herself fall for a woman after knowing her only ten days, and also in the midst of an aircraft crash. The shock of losing Naomi had obviously impaired her judgment when it came to River, and she should’ve never crossed the line with her. It didn’t matter how beautiful she was, or how passionate. It was a mistake to get involved with a woman she couldn’t trust. She wanted to get far away from her.
At the Portland airport, Dee checked her roller-board suitcase so she could carry on her mother’s old pink Samsonite. After they were airborne, Dee opened the case and picked up the stack of letters. She looked at the first envelope again, the one River had opened. Her eyes filled when she saw her baby sister’s handwriting.
Dee carefully put the letters back in the case. She couldn’t read them now, or she’d be a blubbering mess. She’d read them later, maybe in a quiet place outside, away from other people. She noticed her own letters to Naomi in the blue US Army envelopes in the stack. It would be excruciating to see these letters because she’d written them during the first five years she’d been away. After that, since she’d never gotten any replies, she’d figured Naomi didn’t want to hear from her, so she gave up.
She tried to sleep on the four-hour flight, but every time she closed her eyes, a vision of River naked came into her mind. She let her visions continue for a while, until she was feeling bothered, but then she had to shut them down. She opted instead for a few drinks on the plane to numb her brain.
After landing in Chicago, she looked out the window at the airplanes taxiing back and forth, like an organized ant colony. Planes were everywhere, crisscrossing so close, she was sure they’d hit each other. She imagined River taxiing her big plane through this traffic with ease. Then she saw a Relax Air DC-10 slowly taxi past them, a majestic beast dwarfing almost all the other airplanes. She looked for the CAC hatch to see if any fluid was leaking. She closed her eyes and envisioned the giant airplane covered in golden light, safe and protected from harm.
After walking through an underground tunnel with rainbow neon lights flashing overhead like a retro disco, Dee was slightly less apprehensive at the prospect of meeting Naomi’s family. Her new family, maybe.
When she came out of baggage claim, Dee recognized Naomi’s girls immediately. They looked just like her and Naomi when they were kids.
A handsome man with a warm smile came up to her. “Dee? I’m Bill.”
They looked at each other, and Dee recognized her own sadness in his eyes. They awkwardly hugged.
“I’m so glad you’re here. This is Brin, our youngest, and this is Taylor. Let me put your bags in the back.”
He opened the back of their well-used family van.
“Daddy, look. It’s Mama’s suitcase.”
They all stopped and looked at the pink suitcase.
“How’d you get that? They told me everything was destroyed,” Bill said.
“My friend, who’s an accident investigator, found this in the debris field and gave it to me today.”
“This is a miracle, Dee. I can’t believe this survived. We have so much to talk about.”
* * *
After Dee left her at Angel Creek, River stayed for a while, but the beautiful, serene place only made her more heartbroken. At first, Dee had been so happy to see the letters, but the look of betrayal on her face when she realized River had kept them from her was devastating. She couldn’t do anything but wait for Dee to contact her and, possibly, give her another chance.
She drove back to Redmond to collect the last data for her final report. Ronald Moore came up to her and got in her face as soon as she walked in the door.
“Why didn’t you tell me Dee Rawlings was a surviving family member? I never would’ve let her work on this investigation if I’d known that.”
“That’s why I didn’t tell you.”
“This is very unprofessional. I’m going to have to report this. You may not be allowed on any future investigation teams if you can’t keep your personal life separate from your work.”
“You go right ahead and do that, Ron. But I’ll make sure Detective Rawlings gets the credit she deserves in my report for her major contributions to this investigation.”
River gathered her documents for the last time and left the hangar. Her work here was done. She couldn’t bear to stay by herself in the hotel room she’d shared with Dee for the last nine days, so she stopped there, packed her clothes, checked out, and drove to Portland to go home. She could finish her work from Denver and remove herself from Oregon. It was too painful to stay in this place where she’d fallen in love with Dee, then ruined it all because she’d underestimated her.
River would complete her official report, but then she needed to do some serious thinking about where to go from here. Being forced to work with petty jerks like Ronald Moore was wearing her down. Seeing the tragedy of an aircraft accident affect the life of a survivor like Dee brought up so many difficult memories of her own trauma. Maybe she needed to take an extended break from airplane crashes.
She would reevaluate her options and patiently wait for Dee to call.
* * *
Dee was impressed with Bill and Naomi’s tidy home. It was a modest size with an immaculately trimmed yard. Walking into the house, she could feel Naomi. She also sensed love and deep longing. She looked around and noticed several Lone Star decorations, plus a Dallas Cowboys clock in her kitchen. She was always so proud of being a Texan.
Brin, the nine-year-old, came over to Dee. “Aunt Dee. Will you open Mama’s suitcase and read us her letters?”
“You know about these?”
“I found them in Grandpa’s box when I was helping Mama clean out his stuff.”
Dee was stunned. She had no idea her father had saved these letters.
Bill came over and sat with them on the couch. Taylor was hiding out in the kitchen.
“Your dad came to live with us two years ago, when his dementia got bad. I put his things in the attic, and Naomi was his caregiver. After he passed away a month ago, Naomi and Brin came across these letters he’d been hiding since you left home.”
“Since I was told to leave home,” Dee said.
“Yes, so she and Brin opened the first letter, and then she wanted to wait and read the rest of them with you. Naomi thought these letters could help you two reconnect.”
Dee wasn’t quite sure what to do, but Brin could be as persistent as her mother when she wanted something. Since they were all here, she decided to read them together.
She opened the small pink case, took out the stack of letters, and opened the first one, with the Minnie Mouse sticker on it, and read it out loud.
Dear Sissy,
Where are you? I need you to come home! Mother and Daddy are yelling all the time. I miss you SO MUCH. Please come home.
I love you, Squirt
Dee could picture Naomi’s thirteen-year-old, tearstained face as she read her anguished words. She was drowning in guilt for leaving Naomi unprotected from their father. Dee loved Naomi so much and never wanted to hurt her, but obviously she broke Naomi’s heart when she abandoned her.
Brin snuggled up next to Dee on the couch and put her little warm hand on top of hers. “Don’t be sad, Aunt Dee. Mama told us all about why Grandpa made you go away because you were gay. He was a bad man when he did that.”
“She told you that?”
Taylor stood at the doorway watching them from a safe distance. “Yeah. She did. She also said you taught her how to stand up to Grandpa. Will you read the next one?”
Taylor reminded Dee so much of herself. She looked like a little clone, with the same dark-green eyes and some of her bad-ass dyke attitude. She certainly might be a future lesbian in training. Dee pulled out the next letter from the stack, in one of her blue army envelopes.
